THE 2024 MET GALA

I have never weighed in on the Met Gala before, (because I’m soooooo not interested!,) but this rendition was the most ridiculous ever, so it spurred me to action. (I know—it’s a week late at this point, but there’s so much else going on that I needed a minute to digest all the fashion nonsense.)

I have never been inspired to spend even one second on this dog-and-pony show, but for some reason, every PR entity on both coasts sent me tons of photos of the arrivals this year. And voila–there were the majority of attendees, looking like clowns. (I semi-hate to say that because I was in an actual circus, so, of course, I don’t want to insult hard-working professional clowns!)

The first notice I opened listed each guest with first their image followed by the person’s name. The quasi-celebs I had heard of, (such as Lana del Rey,) I didn’t recognize, (perhaps because I knew just their names and not really their faces,) and the rest I had never even heard of before.

And how did all those people afford to pay 75k for just one event, where many of them couldn’t even sit down in their comical outfits, nor eat?

And they had to give up their cell phones, so no fun selfies for them. Nor exposés on all the craziness. (But what happens if they’re parents, and their kids or babysitters have an emergency??? I surmise that the event must have some hotline inside for urgent situations. Or at least they should!) (Wait—maybe they need me to run the whole extravaganza next year! My art-centric theme would be “Wear Normal Attractive Outfits and Cover Yourselves The Frig Up!!!”)

I hesitated to post some of the photos of those desperate peeps, because it’s basically porn, but I want to show you how pathetic they looked.

The near-naked weirdos are one thing; the weight-loss ones are another. I have no problem with the former-chubbos among them using Ozempic (or the like) to lose weight. After all, they’ve all been having plastic surgery and other procedures, (such as botox and fillers,) for years, to update their looks! So why not also do one more thing to look better? Yes, they are potentially hurting themselves with the possible side effects. And I do wish people using those drugs for cosmetic purposes were not making the supply too short for the diabetics, who need them to live!

But what *shocks me the most about the whole topic is the cost of these drugs!!! I recently found-out that they run around $200. a month! So of course celebs use it! Who else can afford it??? *[No, I’m not shocked that Oprah Winfrey has been lying about her usage of Ozempic for months—she’s always been a liar!!! In case you missed it, this is what I wrote about her weight-loss lies back in December: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/juicy-gossipkarens-rants-oprah-winfrey-is-a-liar-so-shes-making-me-see-red-right-now. I’m coming for Kelly Clarkson next!]

The one major Met Gala physical craziness I do have a problem with, though, is Kim Kardashian’s deformed-on-purpose waist. Why would she do that? She says she wants to be taken seriously as an actress, and even more unbelievably, as an attorney-to-be, so why is she doing this to herself??? Not only is her deformed look unattractive, it’s dangerous! And we all know that some dumb, uninformed teens will try to copy her and wear those crazy way-too-tight corsets to within an inch of their lives. Let’s just hope one doesn’t cost someone her actual life!

And what was up with all of their filthy hair??? When my tresses are not exactly their freshest, I either don’t go out in public, or I wear a baseball cap! I don’t even want to be seen by myself in the mirror looking like that. But these idiots do it on purpose because some “stylist,” (who actually has no style,) insists they look like that.

And they all need to look in big mirrors in bright daylight to see what their make-up looks like, without all they filters they use to publish their own “behind-the-scenes” photos. The discrepancies are glaring. (You all really need to look up the pix of Kylie Minogue that day to get an especially good chuckle.)

One last observation of mine is that so many of the women feature one or more of their most unattractive physical features in these insane outfits. For example, I have one word for Demi Moore and her uber-wrinkly arms—“sleeves”!!! And Michelle Williams needs to cover-up her pasty, out-of-shape legs, while why Cynthia Erivo would show her wrinkled and pudgy belly is anyone’s guess; but definitely not mine.

And several of their “after-party” looks were even worse!

I wish I had the space to show you all the dreadful “fashions,” but these are some of the most egregious choices, so I hope they add a bit of mirth to your day.

And now you know what to never look like yourselves!