OSCARS 2026

Because there were sooo many arrivals shows this year, they’ll be getting their own column here tomorrow. so all I will say about them today is this:

The surprising thing about the arrivals is that many of the heavy hitters, (Leonardo DiCaprio, Timothee Chalamet,) were not interviewed on any of those shows. I’m assuming that Leo just shunned them, and that Timmy’s “people” told him to steer clear so that he would not have to discuss his recent controversy. (I’ll be devoting an entire column to this sad topic next week, but if you’ve been living under a rock, this is the gist of it: In a recent interview, he sort-of maligned ballet and opera, which has made people with something to hold against him crazy.)

I live-tweeted as much as I could, so if you missed any of my bon mots, you can still read them now @MajorCelebrity. (And please follow me while you’re there, so that you never miss any more of them.)

If you’re curious, here’s the most recent one: Am I the only one who thinks the Oscars producers really missed the mark by not having Kate Hudson and Goldie Hawn present an award together? They were both there, for goodness sake! People would have gone nuts over the mother-daughter duo! But what is up with Goldie’s more than sun-dappled chest? When it looks like that, see a dermatologist, have it lasered, or at least cover it up!!!

Here are the rest of my thoughts on the show, with a few general ones first:

What a waste of the announcing spot. Why would they hire someone working from, any remote location, least of all across the pond in London??? And the guy is supposed to be a comedian, but I didn’t even notice him. That part is actually a good thing—I hate it when I notice the announcers for other shows, such as the Grammys. But they could have hired someone in LA. Just saying.

Having even that brief segment of that guy talking to host Conan O’Brien was one just one of the many wastes of time on the show. Even though I have nothing to do with music whatsoever, I’m offended that only two of the songs got played. But they made time for that announcer talk, did a stupid taped bit about editing movies to play on phones, and a Casablanca spoof. They really need a new producer next year, such as yours truly!!!

By the way, I am impressed with all these creatives, even when I’m putting them down for one reason or another.

Now let’s get to the telecast in the order that they happened:

Mr. X and I loved, loved, loved Conan’s monologue. I was especially happy with the comical and gentle way he got the Timothee Chalamet situation out of the way early.

Amy Madigan’s great speech made me cry. A lot. Mr. X deemed it “a popular win.”

I hate to say this, because I’m a fan of so many artists in it, (such as Shaboozey, Misty Copeland, and Miles Caton,) but the Sinners nominated song number was like a bad rehearsal, with everyone warming-up at once, before the director shows up! Everyone in it was extremely underused. With all the advance hype, I was expecting sooooo much more! It was really much ado about nothing. Mr. X said the number was “less than remarkable,” which is a generous understatement.

On a side note, Misty Copeland needs to mix in a sandwich or two. She looked dreadful! Retirement is not agreeing with her. (But, to her major credit, she danced—en pointe!—so beautifully just three months after hip replacement!!! You go, girl.)

That was the best Anne Hathaway ever looked!!

Neither Mr. X nor I ever knew that Anna Wintour is British!!! How did that fact escape us?! (I guess we were always just too busy wondering why she chooses to always wear sunglasses and rock that helmet hairdo!)

The winner for Best Costume Design for Frankenstein, Kate Hawley, seemed so grateful and lovely. But shouldn’t she have designed a better outfit for herself that night?

Is Jacob Elordi’s date his mother? Or a cougar? Either way, I’m jealous.

Once again, I was just at an event with an Oscar winner! Cliona Furey, who won for makeup on Frankenstein, (and is a Patti Scialfa doppelgänger,) and I were both guests at the Wow Gifting Suite two days prior. (You’ll read all about it in a few days.) And I had met Ernestine Hipper, who won the Oscar for Best Set Design in 2023, for All Quiet on the Western Front, at a similar event back then. I predicted that one. I guess those meetings show that all technical nominees should try to meet me from here on out!

Poor Babs. (Barbra Streisand.) That was so brave of her to grace us with a bit of The Way We Were in honor of her late co-star, Robert Redford, when she knows she can’t sing anymore. But she’s almost eighty-five, so let’s all give her a break, shall we? (And by the way—it wasn’t just Robert Redford who called her that nickname; my Brooklyn family always did!)

There were way too many recently deceased movie business people missing from the In Memoriam segment. For instance, movie stars James Van Der Beek, Robert Carradine, and Bud Cort from the classic film Harold and Maude, Brigette Bardot, Eric Dane, (who is more known for TV, but has several good film credits,) and Canadian film producer David Keighley, who was a key figure behind the introduction of IMAX cinemas. Those omissions are shameful of whoever made the decision on whom to include.

I’m so worried that Pedro Pascal may be sick, bite my tongue. He’s only fifty, but looks to be in his late sixties!!! I feel that they paired him with seventy-six-year-old Sigourney Weaver to mask how old and frail he looks. I’m praying that he just overdid the Ozempic. I’m not joking about any of this.

I’ve seen just about every film that has a nomination this year, and feel that Frankenstein deserved wins in just about every category. I’m glad they did win many.

The on-stage escorts were the best ever. They were attractive, unobtrusive, and classy. Good for them!

Note to all actresses, especially the other four who were in the old movie, Bridesmaids: Do not ever stand near Rose Byrne!!! You will only look even worse than you already do! Poor Melissa McCarthy lost all that weight, so she erroneously thinks she’s a stick now, and wearing that mostly-white gown just showed her weird body. And Kristen Wiig looked like she was wearing a bad short dress to start, and then her mother made her put the drapes on the bottom to cover it up!

This was quite the surprise: Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences President, Lynette Howell Taylor, looked second best of the evening to Rose Byrne! I love a person with good posture!

Bill Pullman was the only one who made the big mistake of saying, “And the winner is…,” instead of the correct, “And the Oscar goes to…”

Andy Jurgensen, who won for Film Editing, for One Battle After Another, gave a nice heartfelt speech.

Poor Demi Moore. Believe me—I understand not wanting to get old-looking. But looking like a skeleton, due to Ozempic and cosmetic surgery, is not the answer. At the very least, she needs a better plastic surgeon!!!

How did Jessie Buckley not thank her co-stars in Hamnet, Paul Mescal and Jacobi Jupe??? That’s unforgivable. She knew she was going to win, so have a speech prepared, woman! (And I have not seen these awful omissions discussed anywhere else in the media! What is up with that???)

Someone has to say it, but Michael B. Jordan forgot to thank the main reasons he won: ballet and opera!!! (Because of what people think Timothee Chalamet said against them. As I said earlier, I’ll be devoting an entire column to this ridiculousness next week.)

And, by the way, Timmy was a great sport about Michael’s win. Good for him.

Teyana Taylor is sooo creepy. Mr. X said she’s an “inappropriate a-hole.” When One Battle After Another won Best Picture, she was the first one to run up to the stage, ahead of the producers! And she grabbed the Oscar that was supposed to go to the female producer! That was sooooo rude of her! And she put the director in a chokehold on the way up the steps, to boot! Ugh.

As sour as that note is, I have one more, for the future. This was the last year the Oscars were telecast on network TV—next year it’s moving to a streaming channel. That is so crazy. It’s bad enough that normal-people viewers have to shell out so much money just to see the films, but now they have to pay to subscribe to a streaming channel to watch the Oscars!!! Life is not fair, and this will be just another little inconvenience for the masses. What a shame.