DANCING WITH THE STARS 2025—SEASON 34

That this dance competition show is still using this title is getting quite ridiculous. This season is filled with even fewer “stars” than last season! And that’s saying something!

There’s actually not even one star on Dancing With The Stars, (aka DWTS,) this year! Well, to be technical, hosts Alfonso Ribiero and Julianne Hough are, and judge Derek Hough is a huge one. And a few of the professional partners have become somewhat famous, as well, (such as Mark Ballas starring on Broadway in Jersey Boys a few years back.) But those people are not the ones to whom the title refers—it’s supposed to mean the competitors. Oh well.

The first two eliminations happened last week, on the second show of this season, so I’ll address them first:

Corey Feldman and Jenna Johnson—I know of Corey only because I used to read about mess-ups on his part. Upon researching him for this article, I discovered that he has a lot of acting credits, most notably in a bunch of movies he did when he was young, but I never saw any. I think he can be classified as a former movie star, so there’s that. But, if he really did believe he could win DWTS, (as he said on the show,) he’s delusional. I give him credit for trying to dance, though.

Baron Davis and Britt Stewart—As a basketball fan, and also one of UCLA, (my own third of four colleges,) this elimination made me sad. Back in the day, I was friends with the UCLA basketball team when we heard that Baron Davis, a local star high school player, had chosen to play his college basketball right there at UCLA! There was so much excitement at that announcement. On top of that, I had a slight connection to his high school, Crossroads, because some of the students were fans of my TV show and came to my tapings. So, back to DWTS, Baron was much better the second week than he was the first. So I really wanted to see him dance more. Plus, I like his pro partner, Britt. With all the competitors who have actually been real dancers, (Elaine Hendrix, Hilaria Baldwin, Whitney Leavitt, Jen Affleck, Alix Earle,) and most of the others having at least some dance training, I knew Baron wouldn’t go far, but he deserved at least one more week. I felt so bad at how crushed he looked when voted off.

Now, about all the rest of the (mostly unknown) contestants. Some are actually really good dancers, but that does not make them “stars.” Heck, most of them are not even celebrities! Some are has-beens, some are never-weres, some are from reality shows, and one is a so-called influencer, though who those people influence, and to do what, is a mystery!

The majority of them are soooo nobodies, in fact, that Mr. X and I didn’t even discuss the new cast when it was announced! The lack of famous competitors made me really not want to watch this year, but I broke down, most likely just to make fun of everyone continue Mr. X and my tradition of never missing a season of the show.

So, here are my in-depth thoughts on everyone after watching both of the episodes that have been on so far:

The producers make-up so many odd designations for these non-stars! They label them as “activist,” “conservationist,” and the inane “influencer.” They even said that the Baldwin wife is a “yoga teacher!” How does that make anyone a star???

In week two, Mr. X asked me, “Who are those girls?!,” referring to Olympic gymnast Jordan Chiles and Lauren Jauregui, who was in the singing group Fifth Harmony. That made me laugh. (And, by the way, whenever I write “we,” it means Mr. X and me.)

The only real worthwhile dancer, (and perhaps even person,) on there is Robert Irwin, whose partner is the adorable Witney Carson. I’m rooting for them because of his wonderful dancing, but the facts that he’s adorable, charming, and a good person, with a lovely family, (sister, and former deserving DWTS Champion, Bindi and mom Terri Irwin,) don’t hurt.

The ones I’m rooting against, outside of the trio of unknowns at the bottom of this column:

Hilaria Baldwin and Gleb Savchenko—I want her to be eliminated pronto! The woman is from Boston, yet now she’s not only still trying to affect a Spanish accent after all these years of being a phony, but she’s tinging it with a bit of a Brooklyn one!!! And that baby voice is like nails on a chalkboard, for just about everyone, not just me. It doesn’t matter that she is able to dance—she’s insane. (This is what I wrote about her Spanish craziness in 2021: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/juicy-gossp-hilaria-baldwin-hil-arity.)

Jordan Chiles and Ezra Sosa—She dances well enough, but, especially as a former dancer, her pigeon toes are driving me crazy. But the reason I’m a little iffy on her is because she was erroneously awarded a bronze medal in the Olympics, and when they said some technical issue means it really belonged to a different athlete, (whose routine really was better than Jordan’s,) she wouldn’t return it. (And seeing the competition, I felt she really came in fifth!) I don’t know if the conflict was ever resolved, but, as an avid sports watcher, and believer in fairness, I really do believe the Olympics Committee should have just awarded two bronzes instead of embarrassing anyone. But I do notice that the whole debacle did turn me against Jordan a tad.

Scott Hoying and Rylee Arnold—I adore Rylee, but Scott is somehow rubbing me the wrong way. I like his singing group, Pentatonic, and totally rooted for them when they were unknowns competing on The Sing-Off, an a cappella competition show many moons ago, (which I watched just because Nick Lachey, a former celeb crush, hosted it,) but Scott is just not cutting it for me on this one, neither with his dancing nor personality.

In addition to Robert Irwin and Witney Carson the ones I’m rooting for:

Elaine Hendrix and Alan Bersten—I love an older woman who can dance! I know her from only the second version of The Parent Trap, (Mr. X always cites that one, which stars young Lindsay Lohan, while for me, the only true movie is the original, from which I insist on still believing that Hayley Mills is twins!!!) So, I consider Elaine to be a working actress, as opposed to a “star,” but at least I’ve seen her have a big role in a hit movie, which puts her higher up the “star” chain than most of this non-sparkling cast. And she dances great, so I’d love her to get all the way to the Final, and finish as the runner-up to Robert!

Lauren Jauregui and Brandon Armstrong—Just as I love an older woman who can dance, I also admire a hefty one who has that ability! (But Lauren should never wear a leotard on camera again, until she begins Ozempic, that is!) And her face is really pretty. I’m glad for Brandon that he finally has a partner with dance training! (Of course, we never even heard her name before, but DWTS is determined to feature all of the singing group Fifth Harmony at some point!)

Ones I’m not rooting against…yet:

Dylan Efron and Danielle Karagach—This guy is really cute, and appears sweet, but…his claim to fame is that he’s Zac’s brother!!! That is far from being a star!

Danielle Fishel and Pasha Pashkov—I never saw Danielle’s former TV series, and I hadn’t even heard of her since the ‘90s. But upon researching her for this article, it turns out that she still acts on occasion and also directs some TV shows! So, good for her. However, that does not make her a “star.” But we feel bad for her because of her multiple hamstring injuries on this show, so we’d like her to be on there for a little while. Plus she seems nice and can dance a bit.

Andy Richter and Emma Slater—While he’s obviously the worst dancer left, (and the second worst this season,) at least we’ve heard of the guy! I don’t think I ever watched any of Conan O’Brien’s trio of talk shows, on which Andy was his announcer/sidekick, but somehow, the knowledge of them seeped into my brain.

And lastly, we have who, who, and who??? All three women can dance well enough, but they’re far from “stars,” and definitely not worth my time to research them to figure-out who the heck they are and why they’re on the show:

Whitney Leavitt and Mark Ballas

Jen Affleck and Jan Ravnik

Alix Earle and Valentin Chmerkovski

Dancing With The Stars—Season 34 continues tomorrow night. Since the show’s voting isn’t fair anyway, (because they encourage viewers to vote as the telecast goes on, as opposed to waiting until after we’ve seen all of the dances, and make live voting open to only the East Coast!!!,) let me tell those of you who care about the outcomes—as I actually do—what to do tomorrow evening. (And every Tuesday.) You can vote on-line, (and probably by text, as well, as long as you know the special number for the couple(s) you like,) as soon as the clock strikes 8PM East Coast Time! And for the next almost-two hours. That means you’re just voting for your faves with no regard to anyone’s performance. It’s totally not fair, but neither is this show.