US OPEN 2012 FIRST WEEK THOUGHTS

 

First of all, I’m sorry there was no new column here yesterday, but I was just too involved in watching the US Open to write about it! But now, since with all the rain in New York this week, the Men’s Final will most likely spill over until next week for the fifth year in a row, I can now share some of my many thoughts on the first week of this tourney.

So, here they are, in actually some particular order, but none important enough to mention. (By the way, my thoughts may not be that coherent this time because, once again, I’ve watched every second of the tournament and have gotten very little sleep during it. So, my mind is a little bit mushy right now.):

I’m a tad worried about Roger Federer’s being able to play up to his absolutely amazing abilities in the quarterfinal because he hasn’t played since Saturday, which is an eon for a competing tennis player! His scheduled opponent for Labor Day was American Mardy Fish, but he had to withdraw due to his ongoing health issues, so Roger received a walk-over, (which means he advanced without having to compete for that spot, for you sports nescients out there.) That sounds good, but it could manifest itself in him being a bit rusty, which isn’t great against Tomas Berydch, a guy who’s beaten him a few times. Bite my tongue. (Which I am actually doing as I write, and proofread, this.) I’m just praying that the rest will do him good instead.

As all the commentators say, the organizers need to tweak the grueling schedule for next year. This way, with semis and finals being played on back-to-back days, is just crazy.

Ana Ivanovich is absolutely gorgeous, despite being too skinny now. I give Martina Navratilova big props for mentioning that Ana’s a little on the skinny side, something that most others shy away from pointing out. One of the male announcers actually mentioned it, too, but in passing rather than as a topic. That’s weird because I think they’re not supposed to mention anyone’s looks, even if they’re good.

And Ana is just the sweetest girl. So, yay, because I do have someone to root for on the women’s side still!

As inappropriate as it is for an athlete to promote sugary snacks, Maria Sharapova very publicly launched her candy line last week! And, being all gummy creations, it’s the worst kind of sweet! And it’s even worse that the commentators kept pushing it. I don’t see how that’s called for, unless she’s paying a promotional fee, which still doesn’t make it right.

I hate to always rag on Serena Williams, but her behavior begs for it, from everyone. Did any of you see how rude she was to that reporter asking about her gang-related dance at the Olympics??? Just awful.

The tennis authorities absolutely must outlaw this dreadful female grunting! It’s really difficult to watch!

I was still crying the next day over Kim Clijsters going out in the second round. (More on Kim later on this week.)

Former player Mary Jo Fernadez’s hair is gorgeous!!!

Why do so many of these females, (read Petra Kvitova, Falconi, Lepchenko,) hunch over and have their stomachs stick out??? Don’t they look at themselves? Why don’t their coaches, (or anybody!,) tell them??? Or at least anonymously send them a full-length mirror?

Relatively new commentator, LZ Granderson, speaks so poorly, in every way including speech, diction, voice, and word pronunciation, that I can’t figure out why they would hire him. I’m sure he must be a good writer, but he shouldn’t be on TV. (There are lots of those in sports, eh?)

Why do these idiot commentators keep kissing Serena’s butt? Some of them have even said that she’s the greatest player of all time. Are they nuts??? Have they never heard of Steffi Graf? Or Martina Navratilova? And did they forget about Serena’s thug-ish on-court behavior the last two times she played in this very tournament?

And they need to stop using the word “gracious” for the Williams sisters. They must be muttering “not” under their breath. Or at least crossing their fingers. While I just cross my eyes!

And at least one of the sisters’ coaches is also rude; in an interview during Venus’ match against #6 in the world, Angelique Kerber, (who won the match, by the way,) her coach, David Witt, twice said that Venus can “break this girl whenever,” and “routinely,” which is a rude way to minimize her opponent. I was so proud of Pam Shriver, whom I’m basically not a fan of, either, for saying to him, “This girl is # 6 in the world and has won more matches on tour than anybody!” Way to let him have it, though I doubt he even caught it.

As much as I haven’t ever been a fan of Andy Roddick, I actually feel kind-of bad that he’s retiring. I hate endings and change. I’m a little sensitive in that category right now, anyway, because of having to sell my mother and my house, that I’ve lived in with her for at least three months a year even having left home as a teen-ager, so I keep picturing Andy, (and Kim) having to give up the experiences they’ve had forever, as well. Sad stuff, all the way around.

I really love the timing of his announcement, though; it meant that I didn’t have to see those girls I don’t like win because all the sports stations were focused on Andy’s press conference.

I actually give the media some credit for not “going there” about Andy Roddick’s super-model wife, Brooklyn Decker. They could have easily said lewd things like, “I’d retire to stay home with her, too.” Or ,“If that was my wife, I would have quit tennis a long time ago, heh heh.” You get my drift.

The fuss they made over Andy’s first match after the retirement announcement was so bogus! They kept saying all their friends want tickets, it’s sold-out, it’s the hardest ticket to get, etc. And the huge center court turned-out to be virtually empty!

And I love that now the press is all fawning all over him, after ragging on him forever. They’re doing with Andy sort-of what the masses do when someone dies. Now they’re kissing his butt and admonishing us for not appreciating him before, even though they led us in that endeavor!

And this is nothing against Andy Roddick, but I’m afraid I may gain weight from watching tennis now that he’s retired; I could never eat while watching him play because his sweat-dripping made me nauseated. No one did that better than he. (I do know that that’s not his fault, though.)

The first week, the crowds were just not there; it was a bit empty and dull in the various stands most times, even when the big names played.

American newcomer, and Stanford student, Mallory Burdette is great! She’s smart, well-spoken, grateful, and respectful. That’s the way these girls should all be, especially American up-end-comers. At last, someone new to root for now that Kim has retired. (I actually have a few others, like Ana Ivanovich and Sam Stosur, to root for, too.)

Within one minute the other day, idiot anchor Hannah Storm mispronounced the names “Baghdatis,” “Safarova,” and even “Burdette!” What a moron! She does that all the time; why doesn’t someone correct her already??? A word of advice: look ‘em up, honey! You’re the anchor, for goodness sake!

John McEnroe said of young Australian player Bernard Tomic’s father, “He’s a piece of work,” yet they all laud creepy Richard Williams!!! Shame on him. And them all for that!

Every time I hear Roger Federer speak, I love him even more. He is just the classiest person in sports ever. Even more so than Derek Jeter, and that’s saying something!

I have to spare a thought for the human “statues” outside the stadiums. When I was a model, I got jobs doing fashion illustration a lot, which meant I had to stand in one pose for hours while they drew me in the client’s clothing. I hated having to stand still for so long. I passed-out twice before I quit taking those assignments. And these people have to do it outside in the heat! Ugh. There’s not enough money in the world for me to do that ever again!

I don’t have any solutions for this, but it’s just too much for these guys to have to play the Olympics right in the middle of Wimbledon and the US Open. They’re dropping like flies!!!

When the Williams sisters lost in doubles early on in the tournament, they very sourly shook the hands of the winning duo. And Patrick McEnroe said, “Very nice handshakes and congratulations from Venus and Serena. They’re showing us a lot there.” Yeah, Patrick, they’re showing us how rude they are! But I have a feeling that’s what you meant anyway.

Pam Shriver made me like her once again! She told us this story: Maria Sharapova was concentrating so hard during her practice session that she didn’t stop for the presentation of the American flag; Pam said Maria continued hitting balls through it. She couched the tale to make like it was about “the focus of a champion,” but I feel it was really to let us know the “selfishness” of Maria Sharapova. So, good onya twice, Pam!!!

On a positive note, I don’t know what these tennis players find within themselves to come back from two sets down, or even from one dreadful six-one set, to win! What do they know that the rest of us don’t??? I know they like to keep their mental processes close to the vest, but I do wish they’d share; at least with me! If I’m not a front runner in something, even basic board games, I find it hard to rise above.

And lastly, (and perhaps most importantly,) there are two people in the tournament of whom I’m extremely jealous. Can you guess who they are? I’ll give you a second, and no peeking. First, I’ll give you some clues. No, it’s not the girls with the great bodies, like Victoria Azarenka and Aggie Radwanska, (though it should be!) Or even Ana Ivanovich, who’s absolutely gorgeous. Nor Roger Federer’s wife. Nor even the successful and filthy rich winners. It’s almost Sam Stosur, whose abs are so amazing that we can see her twelve-pack even through her semi-thick dress, but it’s not Sam, either. Ready? It’s the Bryan Brothers! I’ve always wanted a twin to begin with, and especially one like these two, who get along great. I’d settle for even just the wonderful sibling they have in each other, especially one with a nice spouse like theirs, so the foursome can enjoy each other’s company. Oh well. I guess we all can’t have such lovely situations. At least I can enjoy watching theirs. Maybe that’s just one small reason why I love tennis so much.

Okay, I have to go rest up for the remainder of week two!