Yes, I am ashamed to admit that I have been watching The Bachelorette since the pandemic lockdown. There wasn’t much else to do at the time, so please don’t judge me too harshly, (as I do myself!)  And then I started watching The Bachelor the next season. (But I held off on Bachelor in Paradise until 2023, when a very intelligent and successful show biz executive heavily suggested it to me, and Mr. X and I didn’t want to disappoint him.)

Taylor Paul, looking the best she possibly can, in an image from the show that we’re not going to get to see.

So I feel qualified to weigh-in on the inane situation that ABC finds itself in now with the newest creepy Bachelorette, whose fully-shot season they just had to cancel!

Taylor Paul was a stupid choice anyway. First of all, she wasn’t even a part of the franchise to begin with, as all other Bachelorettes have been. On top of that, she’s not even remotely attractive. At all. She looks like a washed-up old drugged-out harlot. As soon as we saw the (very many) promos for the upcoming rendition, Mr. X and I had already decided to not waste any time watching this season of the show.

If you don’t know this latest show biz gossip, here’s the tea: For some unknown reason, instead of booking one of the popular rejects from the former season of The Bachelor to be the new Bachelorette this season, the show hired this skank from Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives. I had never even heard of that show until this last season of Dancing With the Stars, when ABC took two of those “wives” to compete on the dance floor. So it must be popular among the idiots who watch reality TV. And that may be why The Bachelorette went against their own unwritten rules, and chose a divorced mother-of-three, (with two different men,) to vie for love with strange men. Who could have seen a debacle coming???

The answer is everyone, of course. But not like this. The situation is worse than any of us could have imagined.

Taylor Paul’s ex-boyfriend, Dakota Mortensen.

So, after this entire season was already filmed, and about to start airing on March 22th, (with at least a month of seemingly non-stop promos!,) a popular website published a tape of Taylor attacking her serious ex-boyfriend, (and baby daddy,) Dakota Mortensen in 2023. She even threw heavy metal chairs at him! Even worse, her five-year-old daughter was in the room! And the kid got hit in the head by one of those objects!!! What is wrong with that woman???

She got arrested for alleged domestic violence back then, and was charged with misdemeanor assault, criminal mischief, and commission of domestic violence in the presence of a child. OMG, am I right? (In August 2023, she pleaded guilty to one count of third-degree aggravated assault, and was placed on probation for the next three years. The other charges were dismissed. But my research shows that the authorities are considering even more charges against Taylor Paul, stemming from second and third incidents!)

After that three-year-old video of the attack came to life on this March 19th, her upcoming season of The Bachelorette was cancelled, just three days before its premiere!!! A Disney Entertainment Television issued a statement announcing the cancellation, explaining, “In light of the newly released video just surfaced today, we have made the decision to not move forward with the new season of The Bachelorette at this time, and our focus is on supporting the family.” What family???

Taylor Paul, looking as confused as the rest of us are as to why she was ever chosen to be this season’s The Bachelorette!

So now the big question is: Why didn’t the show vet this stranger??? I always thought that everyone who applies to be on the show is investigated, so how did the ABC powers-that-be miss this major situation??? TMZ seems to have had no trouble uncovering the info and video, so why did ABC’s high-powered detectives not get the memo??? Or actually, why didn’t whatever channel Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives is on catch it, especially because that series didn’t begin airing until late 2024? And she and Mortensen weren’t married, so she wasn’t even a “wife!”

No matter who is to blame for that oversight, let’s all thank them for the reprieve we’re all getting from these low-life shows. Maybe the cancellation will be just what we The Bachelor franchise possibly-addicts need to break free! And let’s just hope that Taylor does not show up on the next Dancing With the Stars!

Because, as many of you may know, I’ve been watching every second of the Olympics, which got derailed by many hours because I also watched the Super Bowl and much of the attendant coverage, I had decided to let myself off the hook this year, and forego writing a review of the football championship.

But then, as the commercials rolled on, I thought that I should at least take some notes about them, just in case I had a change of heart about the situation. And, of course, I have! But just a slight one.

The Super Bowl winning Seahawks’ quarterback, (Sam Darnold,) MVP, (Kenneth Walker III,) and Head Coach (Mike Macdonald.)

So first just a very few thoughts on the rest of it, followed by my commercial takes.

First and foremost, major congrats to the Seattle Seahawks! That was quite the interesting win for them. I was rooting for them from the get-go, for several reasons, only a small part of which is because I detest the Patriots’ owner. (And Mr. X dislikes the Patriots’ coach.)

As to the aspect of the proceedings that received the most pre-event hype, Bad Bunny’s halftime show, I loved it! It was glorious. Perhaps he could have sung at least a tiny bit in English, (only because he has in the past—I can’t wrap my head around all that political stuff right now,) but it really didn’t matter, at all. The music, dancing, and pure joy were the point. And who can understand any lyrics these days, anyway, no matter the language; I just listen to the music.

Bad Bunny Halftime Show.

As far as the commentators go, I got a kick out of Cris Collinsworth surprisingly singing the kids’ song, Skip To My Lou, when one of the guys did a skipping step when running with the ball. That was cute.

Lastly before my ads round-up, I wish that all sports announcers had Mike Tirico’s cut-through-the-air voice, especially on the Olympics! So much of what the others are saying blends in with the crowd noise, music, whatever, since few sound mixers for sports shows do their jobs well. (By the way, as I tweeted last week, Olympics commentator Dan Hicks has that great kind of voice, as well. If it were up to me, Dan and Mike did all the work on every sport.) [Note: But I hate that Dan is among the sportscasters who incorrectly say “pUdium,” for “pOdium.” Ugh.]

Adrien Brody bringing it!

Now here are the highlights, (and lowlights,) of the commercials for me:

The best of the bunch were all three of Adrien Brody’s TurboTax ones. (However, I just had to look-up what company the ads were for, so that’s not good for what they were trying to accomplish with them. But Adrien deserves awards for them!)

Lay’s “farmer getting old and retiring” one pulled on my heartstrings.

Even Emma Stone’s commercial was scary! The purpose of it, and what company it was for, though, weren’t clear, but it reminded me of her last two horrible movies.

The message of the Redfin ad was beyond bogus. Yeah, I’m sure people will be nice to their new neighbors because they bought a house from Redfin! Not.

Right after a commercial telling us to not judge girls’ body types, the very next ad was about how jeans look on butts!!! What terrible planning on the part of NBC!

The Bud Light ad showing people throwing themselves down a dangerous hill for a beer was disgusting!!! It totally sends the wrong message to…everyone!

Perfect ad for a football game! I hope it wins lots of awards.

The one for RelaxItsABloodTest.com, (which tests men for prostate cancer,) was sort-of hilarious. And it’s oh so important! I actually loved it.

The Pokemon one was a tad weird, but interesting. I had thought Pokemon was so over years ago, maybe that’s because my last little kid pals grew up, so I haven’t heard of them since.

Sabrina Carpenter’s Pringles ad (where she fell in love with a “man” made of the potato chips, and then a crowd, including her, ate him!,) was just eww.

Not the ad itself, because it was a bit confusing, but the company, Search Party, is a great idea! I’ve been a little concerned about how far technology has come, and just how fast, but using doorbells around the neighborhood to find your lost pet could be revolutionary! I’m sure it can also be used to locate missing people, but they probably don’t want to say it in a commercial because it’s too depressing, whereas doing it for dogs has a hopeful sense. (But I have a feeling we’ll all learn more about it on Dateline very soon.)

Okay, that’s it for the Super Bowl this year. I have to get back to my Olympics-watching!

Since I wrote so much about Hallmark’s holiday movies in my Christmas column, I figure this is the perfect time to follow it up with my major complaint about almost all of them. And that is…they never portray passage of time right!

I honestly began writing this article…a year ago! And now, after watching so many this season, I’m upset about the topic all over again!

The movies will state something like this, but then have scenes with TWENTY days left until the holiday!

It happens every year. Well, at least since 2017, when Mr. X and I began viewing them. He initiated our new-ish tradition of watching tons of Hallmark holiday movies because we don’t decorate or have get-togethers anymore. We never seem to have enough time, (nor energy!,) these days for everything we used to do for decades. Some of those movies are good, most are pretty bad to awful, and a very few are actually wonderful! So that latter group make seeing them a worthwhile activity. (I lauded the recent best ones in that previous article, which you can still read right here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/holiday-merry-christmas-2025.)

But what drives me crazy in almost all of the films is that usually-erroneous portrayal of time in them.  They never seem to know exactly how many days it is till Christmas! I’ve never seen one movie do it right! Can no one count in these movies? A character will say something like, “Well, we have only three days to do our shopping for Christmas morning,” and then we’ll see them do activities for at least five more days!

It seriously happens in just about every TV movie that we see at this time of year. And trust me—we’ve watched at least two hundred of them over the years! And it’s not just Hallmark who does it wrong—we’ve noticed those errors on other channels, as well, such as UP, GAF, the CW, and even the obscure Bounce TV.

The weird thing is that…sometimes they even have the days written out in a scene or two! At first I thought that revelation was really helpful because the timing just had to be correct in those, right? But even then it’s usually at least a bit wrong.

But they’ll show us the characters doing NINE days worth of activities!

Would it be so difficult to just get those numbers right? If they have to mention the days or weeks until Christmas, why can’t they just number them correctly? I’m beginning to take it personally, because many other viewers would just let it go. But I cannot. It’s such a little thing to have the dialogue be mathematically correct that I feel they’re doing it wrong on purpose at this point.

Someone—the writers, proofreaders, script supervisor, continuity person, editor, director, producers, and even the actors themselves—should catch all these mistakes! (On my very first guest-starring role on a national TV show, I caught something like that in the script, and even as we were shooting the scene, I told the director that my character wouldn’t be in it! I now sort-of regret causing myself that omission, but how was I the only person on such a professional production to have realized it?! Leave it to the newbie. I think that Hallmark needs me on their productions, in any capacity, don’t you?)

And why is the deadline for everything—stories, newspaper articles, pictures, payments, buying a new house, getting a job, you name it—in most of these stories exactly on Christmas Day??? Who does that? The only Christmas deadline in real life is for the gifts! They must be bought, wrapped, and delivered by then. Dot, dash, end of story.

And, actually, that’s the end of this story, as well. You get the drift. Now, please excuse me while I go start working on a believable holiday romance screenplay, so that we’ll all have something correct time-wise to see in a couple of years!

I finally watched all of the Peacock limited series, All Her Fault, which seems to be popular, and decided to weigh in on it for several reasons.

Adorable Duke McCloud and Sarah Snook.

One is to laud the entire cast. They’re all perfect, and give excellent performances, even the adorable little boy! I would not be at all surprised to see every one of them nominated for various awards this coming season, especially the star, Sarah Snook. (I hope I got that “SS” name right—it’s hard to keep the names of all these new actresses with those initials straight!) Boy, can that woman tear-up at a moment’s notice! It was weird to see Dakota Fanning as an almost middle-aged woman, though. And Mr. X and I were fans of Jake Lacy back when he played the cute, dumb boyfriend on a one-season sitcom, Better With You, so to see him like this was a tad difficult for me. (I know he played a much worse guy on a different recent mini-series, A Friend of the Family, but I purposely didn’t watch that disturbing one.) But, somehow, I was most impressed with Michael Pena’s detective, in portraying both his professional and personal lives. I believed it all.

Another reason for this article is to say that the entire eight episodes are riveting. I love that so many of the characters’ backstories, especially that of the main detective, are included.

But mainly, I really want to discuss the several holes in the script! They’re driving me crazy! I don’t know anyone else personally who watched All Her Fault, (a weak and misleading title if ever there was one,) including Mr. X, who was out of there the second he saw the sadness of an abducted child, so I have to get these peccadillos off my chest here.

Daniel Monks, Abby Elliott, and Jay Ellis. How would there be no housekeeper in that beautiful abode?!

Hole #1: This is the biggest one of all: The two main families are very rich, especially the one whose son goes missing. Have any of you noticed what else is missing??? A housekeeper!!! There is absolutely zero way that a couple who both work, in finance, no less, and have a nanny for the kid, and have at least one extra home on their property, (in which the husband’s disabled brother lives,) clean that humongous house themselves!!! In real life, they’d actually have a team! That hole in the script is just insane. I don’t know if it was written that way in the novel, but it would be nuts in there, as well.

And no—the nanny would not be the one to clean that entire domicile. I’m sure the lack of a cleaning character, (and none in the mom’s new bestie’s house, as well,) is to not overcomplicate the tale. That presence would require extra people to explain away, and there are already more than enough suspects.

Hole #2: SPOILER ALERT! (If you haven’t seen the show yet, and plan to, don’t read again until after “Hole #4,” the paragraph that begins with the word “Now.”): When there was that original horrific car accident between the couple and the eventual kidnapper six years ago, wouldn’t the cops and/or insurance companies have been involved? So the parties would have known each other pretty well and for a long time. And you just know that the young girl’s rotten father would have made sure that she sued the pants off the rich family, especially for the wrongful death of her child!

So the wife’s line to the girl in the final episode, “I thought you were dead,” doesn’t really fly. The backstory of the girl is really clever, but it could not happen in real life.

Cute Sophia Lillis as the kidnapper.

Hole #3: Speaking of the car accident, the powers-that-be at the head of the show made sure that we could not see whose fault it was. I hate that. At first, it looked like Carrie/Josie’s car got hit, but later the director made it look like it was the couple’s car that did. It can’t be both ways. There would have had to be a major investigation. A control freak like the new dad would have not let it go.

Hole #4: There is absolutely no way that Peter, the father of Milo, the kidnapped boy, could have taken him out of the motel room without the kid recognizing either his father’s voice or hands or feel or smell! He later told his wife that he put something over Milo’s face so the kid wouldn’t see him, but Milo was awake in the bathroom, so, at the very least, the dad would have had to tell him to cover his eyes, in which case the kid would have heard his voice! Then he put him in the trunk of a strange car, and we’re supposed to believe that the kid managed to find his way out of the trunk into the car’s interior??? How many of us could even do that??? I cry foul. And how did he get him in there? Did he look around the motel parking lot for a car whose trunk he could access all while holding an awake five-year-old child??? And then how did someone discover Milo in a strange car in the dark? And lastly, didn’t Peter realize that he was putting his son in danger? Milo could have gotten out of the car, into the parking lot, and been killed or abducted again!

Now, as to the story overall, it’s not actually “all her fault,” but these errors are the fault of someone involved! And that title is so misleading! The only things that are “her fault” are the changes made by screenwriter and producer Megan Gallagher from the novel by Andrea Mara!!!

Sarah Snook and Dakota Fanning.

My last thought on this tale is a very personal one, that some of you Los Angeles readers may remember, (because it was all over the local news at the time.) Even though he wasn’t a human child, when our precious toy poodle, Clarence, The Singing Dog, (who was my co-star on my TV show,) got dognapped at nine-years-old, I really did experience a lot of what this mother goes through in All Her Fault. I can attest to just how excruciating the pain is. Fortunately, we got him back within a couple of days because the kidnapper’s son ratted her out, and to him we’ve always been eternally grateful. But the horror and panic is totally real. And I’m sure that to live it with a child is a zillion times worse.

So All Her Fault is far from an upbeat saga. If you haven’t seen it, maybe it’s best to leave it until after the holidays.

I’m begging everyone who reads this, and believes in fairness, to please vote for Robert Irwin and his pro partner Witney Carson tomorrow night. You can do so even if you don’t watch the show. (The instructions begin six paragraphs up from the bottom, with the words “So back to my original plea,” if you’re kind enough to do it, but don’t have time to read my entire explanation here.)

Robert Irwin, who has never danced before this show, and Whitney Carson. Can you see why they deserve to win?!

Yes, I do know that doing that is the opposite of fairness, but let me explain.

The voting on Dancing With The Stars, has been sketchy for several years now. It used to be that you had to watch all the performances, so you could decide which one(s) you wanted to vote for. Then they started telling you to vote from the second the show came on, which is weird to begin with because you haven’t seen them dance yet! When ABC did away with the next-night “results show,” meaning they needed all the votes to be tabulated before the end of the live show, their only solution was “live” voting, which means that only the viewers on the East Coast can vote while watching the show!

Few people vote fairly to begin with, and then many of us around the country, (and most likely from everywhere around the world, if you care about a contestant or two,) figured-out that we can just vote on-line or by text any time in the two hours that it’s on the air in the east. Crazy, right? And all so unfair.

Also unfair is that, despite the show’s title, Dancing With The Stars, they never book any “stars” anymore, so they choose dance ringers, meaning people with a modicum of niche fame, (such as being an “influencer” or on a reality show,) who have tons of previous dance training! So, of course those contenders are good! They have the total advantage over the people who are putting in the hard work to learn a new skill just for this TV series!

Robert Irwin and Whitney Carson.

So I’m desperate for Robert Irwin to win tomorrow night! Besides that he’s one of the most genuine and lovely people to ever grace a television screen, (he’s as wonderful as his sis, Bindi, who won this very show with Derek Hough…ten years ago!,) and he’s adorable charming, to boot, he’s been dancing great! His and Witney’s routines are truly the best and most exciting week after week, so he definitely deserves to win!

It’s weird that the show is having five contestants in the finale this year. It used to always be three, and then they made it occasionally four, but five is ridiculous.

The three women left, (older actress Elaine Hendrix, “influencer” Alix Earle, and Olympian Jordan Chiles, whose freestyle will most likely feature a lot of her gymnastic skills,) are all trained dancers for their entire lives! And the two guys, cuties Robert Irwin and Dylan Efron, have zero dance experience between them! It’s just not fair if one of the females wins. (Dylan has been fun to watch, too—especially his perfect abs, which are beyond a “10”—and has come really far in his dancing, but Robert deserves the win much more.)

Emotional Terri and Robert Irwin after he did a gorgoeus dance dedicated to his late dad, Steve Irwin.

I have a feeling it will come down to Robert and Alix. So, in addition to comparing them, let’s compare their mothers! While Terri Irwin is an angel-on-earth, Alix’s stepmother is a certified hooker! No lie! After she serviced, and brought down, former New York Govenor Eliot Spitzer lo those many years ago, she then had an affair with Alix’s filthy rich father, while he was married with two little girls. She’s downright repulsive. And she had the nerve to send-out a dreadful message on social media about Guest Judge Cheryl Burke for giving Alix a “9” for a dance. Out of “10!” Disgusting. That woman doesn’t deserve any happiness because we all know she’ll view her stepdaughter’s win as her own. Grrrr. And ugh.

So back to my original plea: There are two ways to vote, and you can vote for Robert and Witney ten times on each method.

Just look at Robert Irwin, a non-dancer until this show, not only jumping over his pro partner, Whitney Carson, but with pointed feet!

To me, the easiest way is online, at www.dwtsvote.abc.com. If you’re a new voter, you’ll have to sign up with your email address. And when they want a password, you can just click the option to have them send you a one-time code for the night. And then just press the votes under the picture of Robert and Whitney until it says “10.” Then make sure to click “Save Your Votes.” I think you have to click on it in the two places they ask for it. But it’s super-easy; if I can do it, anyone can!

If you’re better with text, (which I am not,) just text ROBERT to 21523. Ten times, of course.

If you’re voting without watching the show, (which, again, I recognize is unfair, but that’s how the show is currently set-up,) you can vote any time after 8PM East Coast time, (which is 5PM Pacific time,) and for those next almost-three hours. (The voting stops about ten minutes before the end of the show, so make sure to get yours in on time, please.)

Remember, it’s not until tomorrow, Tuesday, night, but I wanted to give you plenty of notice.

Thanks to all who do it, and…go, Robert and Witney!!!

That this dance competition show is still using this title is getting quite ridiculous. This season is filled with even fewer “stars” than last season! And that’s saying something!

Karen Salkin with the always-biggest star on DWTS–Derek Hough. Photo by…Derek Hough!!!

There’s actually not even one star on Dancing With The Stars, (aka DWTS,) this year! Well, to be technical, hosts Alfonso Ribiero and Julianne Hough are, and judge Derek Hough is a huge one. And a few of the professional partners have become somewhat famous, as well, (such as Mark Ballas starring on Broadway in Jersey Boys a few years back.) But those people are not the ones to whom the title refers—it’s supposed to mean the competitors. Oh well.

The first two eliminations happened last week, on the second show of this season, so I’ll address them first:

Corey Feldman and Jenna Johnson—I know of Corey only because I used to read about mess-ups on his part. Upon researching him for this article, I discovered that he has a lot of acting credits, most notably in a bunch of movies he did when he was young, but I never saw any. I think he can be classified as a former movie star, so there’s that. But, if he really did believe he could win DWTS, (as he said on the show,) he’s delusional. I give him credit for trying to dance, though.

Baron Davis and Britt Stewart.

Baron Davis and Britt Stewart—As a basketball fan, and also one of UCLA, (my own third of four colleges,) this elimination made me sad. Back in the day, I was friends with the UCLA basketball team when we heard that Baron Davis, a local star high school player, had chosen to play his college basketball right there at UCLA! There was so much excitement at that announcement. On top of that, I had a slight connection to his high school, Crossroads, because some of the students were fans of my TV show and came to my tapings. So, back to DWTS, Baron was much better the second week than he was the first. So I really wanted to see him dance more. Plus, I like his pro partner, Britt. With all the competitors who have actually been real dancers, (Elaine Hendrix, Hilaria Baldwin, Whitney Leavitt, Jen Affleck, Alix Earle,) and most of the others having at least some dance training, I knew Baron wouldn’t go far, but he deserved at least one more week. I felt so bad at how crushed he looked when voted off.

Now, about all the rest of the (mostly unknown) contestants. Some are actually really good dancers, but that does not make them “stars.” Heck, most of them are not even celebrities! Some are has-beens, some are never-weres, some are from reality shows, and one is a so-called influencer, though who those people influence, and to do what, is a mystery!

The majority of them are soooo nobodies, in fact, that Mr. X and I didn’t even discuss the new cast when it was announced! The lack of famous competitors made me really not want to watch this year, but I broke down, most likely just to make fun of everyone continue Mr. X and my tradition of never missing a season of the show.

So, here are my in-depth thoughts on everyone after watching both of the episodes that have been on so far:

The producers make-up so many odd designations for these non-stars! They label them as “activist,” “conservationist,” and the inane “influencer.” They even said that the Baldwin wife is a “yoga teacher!” How does that make anyone a star???

Robert Irwin and Witney Carson.

In week two, Mr. X asked me, “Who are those girls?!,” referring to Olympic gymnast Jordan Chiles and Lauren Jauregui, who was in the singing group Fifth Harmony. That made me laugh. (And, by the way, whenever I write “we,” it means Mr. X and me.)

The only real worthwhile dancer, (and perhaps even person,) on there is Robert Irwin, whose partner is the adorable Witney Carson. I’m rooting for them because of his wonderful dancing, but the facts that he’s adorable, charming, and a good person, with a lovely family, (sister, and former deserving DWTS Champion, Bindi and mom Terri Irwin,) don’t hurt.

The ones I’m rooting against, outside of the trio of unknowns at the bottom of this column:

Hilaria Baldwin and Gleb Savchenko—I want her to be eliminated pronto! The woman is from Boston, yet now she’s not only still trying to affect a Spanish accent after all these years of being a phony, but she’s tinging it with a bit of a Brooklyn one!!! And that baby voice is like nails on a chalkboard, for just about everyone, not just me. It doesn’t matter that she is able to dance—she’s insane. (This is what I wrote about her Spanish craziness in 2021: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/juicy-gossp-hilaria-baldwin-hil-arity.)

Jordan Chiles and Ezra Sosa—She dances well enough, but, especially as a former dancer, her pigeon toes are driving me crazy. But the reason I’m a little iffy on her is because she was erroneously awarded a bronze medal in the Olympics, and when they said some technical issue means it really belonged to a different athlete, (whose routine really was better than Jordan’s,) she wouldn’t return it. (And seeing the competition, I felt she really came in fifth!) I don’t know if the conflict was ever resolved, but, as an avid sports watcher, and believer in fairness, I really do believe the Olympics Committee should have just awarded two bronzes instead of embarrassing anyone. But I do notice that the whole debacle did turn me against Jordan a tad.

Scott Hoying and Rylee Arnold—I adore Rylee, but Scott is somehow rubbing me the wrong way. I like his singing group, Pentatonic, and totally rooted for them when they were unknowns competing on The Sing-Off, an a cappella competition show many moons ago, (which I watched just because Nick Lachey, a former celeb crush, hosted it,) but Scott is just not cutting it for me on this one, neither with his dancing nor personality.

In addition to Robert Irwin and Witney Carson the ones I’m rooting for:

Elaine Hendrix and Alan Bersten.

Elaine Hendrix and Alan Bersten—I love an older woman who can dance! I know her from only the second version of The Parent Trap, (Mr. X always cites that one, which stars young Lindsay Lohan, while for me, the only true movie is the original, from which I insist on still believing that Hayley Mills is twins!!!) So, I consider Elaine to be a working actress, as opposed to a “star,” but at least I’ve seen her have a big role in a hit movie, which puts her higher up the “star” chain than most of this non-sparkling cast. And she dances great, so I’d love her to get all the way to the Final, and finish as the runner-up to Robert!

Lauren Jauregui and Brandon Armstrong—Just as I love an older woman who can dance, I also admire a hefty one who has that ability! (But Lauren should never wear a leotard on camera again, until she begins Ozempic, that is!) And her face is really pretty. I’m glad for Brandon that he finally has a partner with dance training! (Of course, we never even heard her name before, but DWTS is determined to feature all of the singing group Fifth Harmony at some point!)

Ones I’m not rooting against…yet:

Dylan Efron and Danielle Karagach.

Dylan Efron and Danielle Karagach—This guy is really cute, and appears sweet, but…his claim to fame is that he’s Zac’s brother!!! That is far from being a star!

Danielle Fishel and Pasha Pashkov—I never saw Danielle’s former TV series, and I hadn’t even heard of her since the ‘90s. But upon researching her for this article, it turns out that she still acts on occasion and also directs some TV shows! So, good for her. However, that does not make her a “star.” But we feel bad for her because of her multiple hamstring injuries on this show, so we’d like her to be on there for a little while. Plus she seems nice and can dance a bit.

Andy Richter and Emma Slater—While he’s obviously the worst dancer left, (and the second worst this season,) at least we’ve heard of the guy! I don’t think I ever watched any of Conan O’Brien’s trio of talk shows, on which Andy was his announcer/sidekick, but somehow, the knowledge of them seeped into my brain.

And lastly, we have who, who, and who??? All three women can dance well enough, but they’re far from “stars,” and definitely not worth my time to research them to figure-out who the heck they are and why they’re on the show:

Whitney Leavitt and Mark Ballas

Jen Affleck and Jan Ravnik

Alix Earle and Valentin Chmerkovski

Dancing With The Stars—Season 34 continues tomorrow night. Since the show’s voting isn’t fair anyway, (because they encourage viewers to vote as the telecast goes on, as opposed to waiting until after we’ve seen all of the dances, and make live voting open to only the East Coast!!!,) let me tell those of you who care about the outcomes—as I actually do—what to do tomorrow evening. (And every Tuesday.) You can vote on-line, (and probably by text, as well, as long as you know the special number for the couple(s) you like,) as soon as the clock strikes 8PM East Coast Time! And for the next almost-two hours. That means you’re just voting for your faves with no regard to anyone’s performance. It’s totally not fair, but neither is this show.

…partially perverse? (Someone had to say it out loud, so why not me?)

The White Lotus’ creator/writer/director Mike White.

I had actually originally written much harsher thoughts than that in this article, and then thought better of it. But as I was done writing it, I read words in the media about this season of The White Lotus such as “disgusted,” “appalled,” “disturbing,” “gross,” “draining,” “crushing disappointment,” “indulgent,” “tedious,” “terrible,” “biggest load of crap ever,” the list goes on and on. (I applaud one clever person who wrote the comment, “Forget the incest. What’s up with Chloe and Chelsea’s teeth?” I’ve been questioning how those actresses got jobs with those awful chompers all along, but I decided to leave them alone. I do know good dentists for them, though, should they decide to improve their smiles, as everyone should. In this age of invisible braces, there’s no excuse for money-earning on-screen talent to not fix their teeth, for goodness sake!)

The two actresses teeth.

I feel like I’ve wasted time on every episode of the streaming television series The White Lotus; I’ve kept watching because the internet keeps tricking me into thinking it’s going to be more interesting than it is. Weirdly, the first season was billed as a comedy, and therefore was put into that category for awards, so when Mr. X and I watched it much later, we were pretty surprised that it was a total drama and not the least bit amusing. We didn’t get it. (They changed that designation for Season 2.)

And now Season 3, which takes place in Thailand, just finished last night, and I’m absolutely disgusted with the whole thing. Besides all the deaths and dumb storylines that other critics and viewers are ragging on today, (all of which I totally agree with,) the main reason for my disdain is that there was absolutely no reason for the beyond-creepy incest storyline, especially with such young actors. I almost threw-up before Patrick Schwarzenegger did on-screen! (I actually did a little in my mouth.)

Sam Rockwell on The White Lotus.

And there was even less of a reason for that utterly nauseating sexual perversion soliloquy by Sam Rockwell on Episode Five. It didn’t further the story at all, and was simply gratuitous. I feel it was just included for prurient interest. Did anyone else wonder if it’s something that a person involved with the script may have experienced for himself? And perhaps got off on having someone else, (especially a respected actor,) relive it for him?

Of the entire eight-episode season, I feel the most awful for Patrick and his on-screen little bro, actor Sam Nivola, who had to make-out with each other. (And more!) I read that when Sam saw the incest in the script, he thought it was a typo!

I really feel for those two young actors; I once turned down a good role in a movie because I would have had to play someone who had been a lesbian in college, and…I’m not that good of an actress! Even if I was, I would never do something like that, especially if it was explicit, which is what these guys had to do.

Sam Nivola and Patrick Schwarzenegger on The White Lotus.

In my opinion, The White Lotus, which is helmed by creator, writer, director Mike White, is soft porn disguised as a whodunit. And the offensive parts are foisted on its audience. If you watch something labeled “porn,” you pretty much know what you’re in for. But this White Lotus crap is sprung on us. Most of us watch the show for the murder mystery aspect of it. The rest of the characters in there are mostly just annoying to begin with, but then to see young brothers making-out, and then one performing a sex act on the other, while you’re just trying to watch a drama series, feels violating.

I hope that at least this sickening season will teach any young ’uns who watch it to not take drugs with strangers anywhere, let alone in a foreign country. And it will remind their parents to not let them wander off, especially on a ship, with said strangers. Nothing good ever happens on a ship in the night!

Mike White.

Yes, I do know that saying all this will negate any nano-chance I ever had of appearing on an upcoming season of The White Lotus, but, as Mr. X pointed-out, I hope to not be on the show! Do any other viewers wonder if one day, in this climate of show business accountability, maybe someone will make allegations against one of the powers-that-be over there? If I were writing a fictional story about it, I’d make it that perhaps the person in question would wind-up sharing a cell with Harvey Weinstein. Or that Arnold would beat the crap out of him for making his son perform those sex acts on-screen. (But my guess is that, if this season of The White Lotus is any indication, that latter idea might be enjoyed. Just sayin’.)

Even though I have a funny personal story about the Kennedy Center Honors, (which I’ve never shared publicly before, and you’ll understand why when you read it on here in a few minutes,) it came to my attention yesterday that I have never reviewed the TV special in this e-zine! I’m not on Facebook very often, except to post my article links on my Facebook Fan Page, (which is It’s Not About Me TV, if you’d like to follow it in order to never miss any of my bon mots,) but, out of post-Christmas ennui, I was on there today, and noticed that one of my Facebook friends, Richard Zimmerman, gave his own fabulous mini review of the recent show. I only wish I could be so succinct! (I began this diatribe because of my brief, although longer than usual for FB, ten-sentence comment on his post. So that’s what I was expecting this review would be. It appears I was wrong. Oh well.)

The 2024 Kennedy Center Honorees.

Richard had some questions about a couple of the performers, so as I was writing that comment on his post, to clear a bit of it up for him, I realized that I would like to share those thoughts, and more, with you guys, as well! So here I am.

This 2024 version of the Kennedy Center Honors seemed to lack a lot of the usual pizazz and pathos. I can’t quite put my finger fully on the problem, but a big part of it for me is that this was one of the few times that I’ve seen this presentation done in the absolute wrong order. The production usually ends with whichever honoree will provide the most rollicking musical moments, to make the show go out on a huge high. So I was positive that the tribute to the Apollo Theater would occur last because you know that that one would feature some rousing music. But they put that segment second in the show! That was just crazy.

And they ended the whole shebang with the tribute to the Grateful Dead!!! I have no idea why they did that. It couldn’t be to attract younger viewers because the Dead is basically a baby boomer band, with two of the main dudes already deceased. That segment just lay flat the whole time. They didn’t even have anyone perform two of the group’s biggest songs, Truckin’ and Casey Jones, (the only ones with which I’m familiar.) I was really surprised. I’ve never been a fan of the Dead, and I’ve always been a fan of soul acts, so that order was just really perplexing to me. And Miles Teller trying to dance to ‘60s and ‘70s music, in a tie-dye T-shirt, no less, was sort-of painful to witness.

But there were some wonderful performances in other parts of the show. The first of the two best acts was Brandi Carlyle singing I Can’t Make You Love Me during the tribute to Bonnie Raitt. Wow. Just wow. She was just perfect in the easiest way possible. Her heartbreaking voice made me almost wish that some guy had broken my heart in the way the lyrics portray. (Almost, mind you—Mr. X is difficult enough!)

A wondrous part of that performance was Sheryl Cole playing the piano for Brandi’s song! She didn’t take even a small part of the words for herself, nor even harmonized; she just played the musical accompaniment for Brandi! With glasses on and relying on the sheet music, looking like an elementary school music teacher who had just received the music that day! But it was actually glorious!

Brandi Carlyle singing with Sheryl Cole on piano.

Speaking of glorious, that’s exactly what married soul duo War and Treaty’s rendition of Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell’s You’re All I Need to Get By was in the tribute to the Apollo Theater. (This was the first time in the Kennedy Center Honors’ forty-seven year history that an institution was one of the honorees, as opposed to people.) We had heard them before, but Mr. X and I became big fans of theirs that night. (The genuine-love kiss at the end of their song sealed the deal for me.)

By the way, I have never been a fan of comedian Dave Chappelle because of his constant smoking on stage, which is rude to not only everyone around him who has to breathe it, but to the possibly-impressionable audience members whom he makes think that smoking is not only okay, but cool. But he did not smoke in this show, and his speech was really good and sincere here, talking about losing at the Apollo when he was just a teen and what it meant to him. So now I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. (Perhaps he laid-off the cigs because the producers forbade him from doing it. But either way, it was good to see him not smoking.)

I was actually pretty sure that someone playing the Apollo’s famous Sandman would come out for a second, not to really sweep off a “loser,” (because there are no losers in this show!,) but just to make people be so happy to see that humorous act in person. (I know that I would have loved it!) But as far as that iconic little bit is concerned, they did a little tribute to Howard “Sandman” Sims, (the original “Sandman,” who passed away twenty-three years ago,) in the body of the presentation. I was glad to see that, at least.

As much as the famous people who are getting the tributes are being honored, there’s something else very interesting about all Kennedy Center Honors presentations. And that is that they often book sort-of obscure talent to perform. I’m sure that a lot of those artists are well-known in their particular genres, (such as Cuban and Latinx artists performing for honoree Cuban jazz-trumpeter-extraordinaire, Arturo Sandoval,) but they are not familiar to the public at large. So it’s wonderful exposure to new audiences for the musicians. I love that.

Actually, one of the best discoveries that night was during the tribute to Mr. Sandoval. And that is that Andy Garcia…is a percussionist!!! Who knew?! He played the bongos, along with everyone’s favorite instrument—the cowbell, with the happening jam sesh band.

So my Facebook pal with the mini review didn’t know who the blonde girl singer who began the tribute to Francis Ford Coppola is. So for those of you who are also in the dark as to her identity, I’m here to enlighten all of you. (Mr. X did not realize who she was while seeing her, but when I told him who it was afterwards, he was amazed.) She is Grace VanderWaal, who won America’s Got Talent in 2016, when she was just twelve. She was a really good singer back then, but what everyone loved about her was that her voice and delivery were beyond her years, and also that she was such a sweet girl. I didn’t know why she was on Kennedy Center Honors when they announced her at the top of the show, but it turns out that she’s in Coppola’s most recent film, Megalopolis, (which I believe was a complete bomb.)

The speakers in tribute to Francis Ford Coppola sitting around that elevated table. (L-R) Grace VanderWaal, (her ever-moving foot and leg are blocked in this pic,) Laurence Fishburne, Al Pacino, Talia Shire, and Robert DeNiro.

Grace is twenty now, and obviously an actress as well as a singer. But I’ve got to be honest here and tell you that her performance on this show was pretty bad. Even worse than her singing that night was what she did afterwards. Just to make this all-talking tribute, (outside of Grace, of course,) more interesting, they had all the presenters sit around a table that was on an elevated stage, to emulate the dinners that Francis hosts at his northern California vineyard. After each person spoke, (or in Grace’s case, sang,) they sat down there while the rest of the people gave their little speeches. Since Grace was the first one up, she had to sit there through eight speakers. And she was moving her leg and foot, in the way that connotes absolute boredom, the entire time!!! So all during those heartfelt speeches, you could see how bored she was. It made her look so immature, and semi-rude, actually. I kept hoping that someone would get a message to someone on stage to lean over and tell her to stop it. I’m sure she had no idea she was doing it, as happens to all of us, but her whole appearance there was just brutal. Grace was not a good representative for Gen Z performers. By the way, no one ever explained why she was singing, (or trying to,) The Impossible Dream from The Man of LaMancha in honor of Coppola; we were left to ponder the significance for ourselves. [Note: She’ll turn twenty-one on January 15th, the day after my own January 14th bday, so I feel a tad bad for ragging a bit on my fellow Capricorn. But you know I always tell it like it is.]

Queen Latifah hosting the show.

Now to the supposed host of the evening. As far as I know, Queen Latifah, is a rapper, and now in her older years, a successful TV actress, but she’s not really a singer. So that was a little strange to have her on there singing. The only reason she was hosting is because she stars on a CBS series*, and the Kennedy Center Honors is on CBS, as well. *(That series is The Equalizer, and trust me, I’m not saying anything bad about Latifah because I’m the only person I know who watches that show. Mr. X has seen a tiny bit of it over the years, and he always makes fun of it. She’s not a particularly good actress, and, since she plays a former CIA agent who still beats-up the bad guys, which means she should be at least somewhat in shape, she could definitely benefit from a few shots of Ozempic. Just sayin’. And the show is pretty stupid, but it’s the kind of mindless entertainment that I enjoy. So there’s that.)

I just have to mention a few more people on there. Al Pacino’s head was so close to the podium when he was speaking that I thought he was sitting down! He did not look very good, but I’m giving the guy a break because he’s eighty-four-years-old! And even though Jackson Browne looks like a handsome older man, I did not recognize him at all! When did he become such a grown-up??? Raye is always a great singer, but I feel she was a bit nervous, and that the audience didn’t “get” her enough.

One big thing I missed throughout all five of the tribute segments is that after the first person spoke about each honoree, they used to show a brief visual bio of their life/lives. And this time they did not. They offered just a bit of each one’s history, but not enough and not in linear order.

Still, it’s an always-entertaining show, and though this year was one of my least favorites, I’m always glad to see such a classy presentation in this crazy world.

Now here’s my personal Kennedy Center Honors tale. For the last decade or so of his life, I was friends with the incredible tap dancer, Fayard Nicholas, (who had actually introduced me to Savion Glover back then, and Savion performed in this year’s show! I love a full circle situation.) He and his brother Harold had been honorees in 1991, and when his precious wife died at the end of that decade, we started hanging-out more often. He was eighty-five-years-old at the time, and I considered him to be sort of a grandfather figure to me, which I loved. He introduced me to his whole family, and we met a lot of each other’s friends. We even tapped-danced together on my TV show back then! What an honor that was!

The 1991 Kennedy Center Honorees, with Fayard Nicholas on the far left.

All Kennedy Center honorees are invited back each year for the new festivities, with their flights and accommodations all taken care of, as well as those of their guests. So when he was planning to attend that first year he was widowed, guess who he asked to be his “date” to the event? Yours truly, of course! I was so excited because getting to be at that classiest of events would have been a dream come true. But checking on what the accommodations would be, I asked him, “We wouldn’t have to share a room, would we?,” to which Fayard answered a definitive, “Oh yes!” I couldn’t believe it. I had no idea that my little pal was such a lusty old man.

The truly amazing Nicholas Brothers.

I laughed internally, but I said, “Oh Fayard, you know I can’t share a room with anyone but my own boyfriend!” He’d actually met Mr. X a few times, including when he had guested on my show. So I hoped that perhaps he’d say something like, “No worries, dear, I’ll get you your own room.” I had actually thought of saying that I would just pay for my own room, but by the way he said that “oh yes,” I knew that would not be an option.

So, of course, I had to give up that beautiful opportunity. The idea of the adorable and unbelievably talented Fayard Nicolas chasing me around a hotel room in Washington, D.C. was just not my idea of a great time. But during every annual Kennedy Center Honors telecast since then, I start feeling bad that I missed-out on that unique experience, wondering if there was some other way I could have handled it to still attend with him. I know that there wasn’t, so then Mr. X and I have a laugh picturing what that week-end would have been like for me. So maybe I’ll get there some other way some other day. But I always hope that Fayard is up in heaven, looking down and having a little bit of a chuckle with me about it every year.

And I should know because Mr. X and I have watched every episode of this crap this season! (I’ll explain why in a second.)

At least the cast is attractive.

And the winner, (or should I say loser,) is…Doctor Odyssey! It’s on ABC, and stars Joshua Jackson and Don Johnson, who, at this point in his life and career, is probably happy to work a few hours a week and get a big paycheck, without regard to the material. Heck, I’m sure most of us would be happy to make a quarter of what Don does, even though we’d have to put our work principles aside to do so.

Let me explain that, in normal times, I wouldn’t have even sampled the show. Or, if I did, I would have been done with its nonsense in a nano-minute. But with this harrowing political season, I was looking for something relatively mindless to watch to distract my brain from the horrors that are coming in this country for the next four years. (I’m just getting back to watching a tiny bit of local news now, and no national shows. And I’m baby-stepping into even reading anything.) So I decided to watch the most benign new show I could think of. And this was it.

By the way, Mr. X hasn’t watched network hour-long shows in years. He’ll join me for sitcoms and dance shows, but supposed dramas are not for him. But he’s agreed to view some this season for the same reason that I’m now watching shows I normally wouldn’t. We’re so shell-shocked by the election results that we just sit in front of the TV like bumps on a log, desperate for an escape.

So Doctor Odyssey seemed like a fun solution. But let me tell you—it’s seriously the worst show in the history of television! I hope that none of the rest of you have wasted your precious time on this drivel.

As witless as the old Love Boat series was, it was Shakespeare compared to Doctor Odyssey!

The entire medical team cavorting on the beach…again. So who is standing by on the ship for health emergencies???

In addition to the asinine weekly stories, what cruise ship has only one doctor and two nurses on board?! A quick google search told me that a “smaller ship” typically has two doctors, three nurses, and sometimes a medical secretary, while a “larger ship” typically has three doctors, five nurses, and a secretary. And at least one medical professional has to be available 24/7, so that this trio is always playing dress-up, partying, or hanging-out on the beach is just pure bunk. Not that a TV show has to be accurate, but this set-up is egregiously imbecilic!

On top of the medical crew’s sparse availability, how does this general practitioner, (the one played by Joshua Jackson,) have the ability to do bowel surgery on the ship??? And with just one nurse??? (The other nurse had an eye infection that day, which cleared-up by the next morning!) It’s all insane. And not one of them seems to be on duty often—they’re always either in the pool, dancing, or…having a threesome!!!

Speaking of that last part, how do they get away with having a threesome on network TV??? At 9PM, not even the late primetime spot! That’s so odd. And unwanted.

Ryan Murphy creeping into the bigger image of Joshua Jackson.

When that happened, I said to Mr. X, “This must be created and produced by some weirdo pervert!” And then we discovered that they’re both none other than…Ryan Murphy! In our opinion, he peaked with Glee.

So do yourselves a favor—miss this show! Even if you sit there just twiddling your thumbs for an hour, it will be a much better use of your time than watching the insanely awful Doctor Odyssey. Unless you’re as dumb and creepy as this show!

I always adore Halloween month for many reasons, with this being one of the big ones: We TV viewers get to once again see perhaps my favorite commercial of all time, GEICO’s Horror Movie: Poor Decisions. Every aspect of it is brilliant!

The wall of chainsaws in the barn. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I allude to it in my upcoming Halloween column, so please look for it this Thursday to see why. But in writing about it for that piece, it occurred to me that it needs its own laudatory article, so here it is.

The commercial has been running for a decade now, (which is far from the industry norm,) and it’s still the best commercial ever; my admiration grows with every viewing. I actually watch it on purpose, which I’m pretty sure none of us do for any ads these days, when we can always speed through them. And if we’re watching a show completely live, we use commercial breaks for so many other purposes—getting a snack, bathroom break, checking our phones, getting dressed, doing make-up, maybe even talking to our TV companions! (Wow—what a concept that last one is!) So to watch Horror Movie on purpose is truly saying something.

David Figlioli. (I couldn’t capture his perfect look.) Photo by Karen Salkin.

Mr. X says actor David Figlioli, the “scary” guy at the end of it “should get an award” for that one subtle, spot-on face he makes.

But I recently discovered my new favorite part of it—when one guy says the foursome of teens should not get in the running car to escape, but rather to hide behind the chainsaws, the dark-haired girl subtly says, “Smart.” That is so perfect! I can’t stop saying it myself when Mr. X suggests something the opposite of smart! I love that one word so much now, even more than when my friends and I made up the “smart table” in first grade!

With commercials these days seeming to be dumber and dumber rather than more clever, I’m glad we still have this oldie-but-goodie to savor and appreciate.

This is the scene in which the tall girl says my favorite line. Photo by Karen Salkin.

If you know not of what I speak, here’s the link to it: www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yxiS6S96_0.

Enjoy it now, before it goes away for another year!