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<\/a>I’m still so shocked over Ellen Degeneres’ ears that this picture deserved a place at the top! Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n
Other than that, the Golden Globes was entertaining enough. But this is weird\u2014the telecast was listed as being just two<\/em> hours, (after a football play-off game and then the national arrivals show,) but Ricky said it was going to be a three<\/em> hour show. But then the live telecast went so long that the arrivals<\/em> show was aborted. When the Golden Globes was shown live<\/em> at 5ishPM (which we watched, so I could live-tweet about it,) it appeared to be three hours, but when it was re-telecast a little while later, it went for three and a half<\/em>! So I have no idea what was going on with that aspect of it. (And no<\/em>\u2014I do not<\/em> drink or do drugs at all, so my perception was not the problem.)<\/p>\n I hope you enjoyed all my live tweets. (If you don\u2019t yet follow me, you can do so now, and read them from last night, @MajorCelebrity<\/strong>.) But either way, here are all the thoughts that didn\u2019t<\/em> make it into them, some for time constraints, some because they\u2019re better hidden-away in this article!<\/p>\n Kerry Washington. Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n So let\u2019s get to them already, in order of the actual show, followed by the arrivals on E:<\/p>\n The Globes lived up to their reputation (of giving awards to mostly foreigners) right off the bat, with an award to someone named Ramy Youssef<\/strong> for his obscure self-titled show that he even joked no one has seen. I\u2019ll bet there are few who have even heard<\/em> of it!<\/p>\n Why was presenter Jennifer Aniston<\/strong> being so rude and disinterested?! What an uncomfortable weirdo. Her co-presenter Reese Witherspoon<\/strong> tried her best to be extra<\/em> perky to make-up for it. And the way that Jennifer read Russell Crowe\u2019s heartfelt message (because he was not there to accept his award\u2014he stayed in Australia to help-out during these horrific fires,) was unforgivable.<\/p>\n Stellan Skarsg\u00e5rd<\/strong> gave a great speech.<\/p>\n So far, it\u2019s four out of four for foreign<\/em> winners.<\/p>\n Sienna Miller. Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n Mr. X and I were both shocked by how small Kieran Culkin<\/strong> is! (He\u2019s supposedly 5\u20196\u201d, but looked about four inches shorter than that.) Mr. X said if anyone ever does a movie about a jockey, he\u2019s in. (He meant it in a good<\/em> way.)<\/p>\n Kerry Washington<\/strong>\u2019s hideous chest-baring dress shouts, \u201cLook at me.\u201d<\/p>\n Now it\u2019s five out of five.<\/p>\n Sienna Miller<\/strong> is so naturally pretty. It\u2019s a pleasure to see someone who just is, and not crying-out for attention.<\/p>\n Pierce Brosnan. (His bottom teeth do ruin his good looks quite a bit, though.) Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n Pierce Brosnan<\/strong> is still gorgeous. And one<\/em> of his sons is. (But the other<\/em> one is the model!\u00a0\u00a0Go figure.) It was smart of the Golden Globes to\u00a0add a charity platform for the offspring-of-stars \u201cambassadors\u201d to speak about, no matter how<\/em> briefly. [Sidebar: I met Pierce a couple of years ago, and he is<\/em> that gorgeous in person! I\u2019ve been to his house, too, but we\u2019ll leave that story for my book.]<\/p>\n What is up with Ellen Degeneres<\/strong>\u2019 ears?! They look fake! I\u2019ve always thought that my<\/em> ears are big, (Mr. X has even been known to buy me Dopey figurines,) but Ellen\u2019s<\/em> take the cake! But she has obviously never cared about looks, so that explains her featuring them. [Sidebar #2: She\u2019s another one I knew back in the day. That may also make it into my book. And here\u2019s a hint: Viewers of Karen\u2019s Restaurant Revue<\/em> know that I<\/em> danced on my<\/em> show first!!! I\u2019m just sayin\u2019. For now.]<\/p>\n Ana de Armas and Daniel Craig. Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n Ana de Armas<\/strong>, the beautiful girl from\u00a0Knives Out<\/em>, demonstrates how you should dress at an event like this, unlike Kerry Washington.<\/p>\n Two people I can\u2019t stand, Tim Allen<\/strong> (I\u2019ll tell you why in my book,) and plump Lauren Graham<\/strong>, (whom I\u2019ve never even seen before, but now I\u2019m against her because not only did she not<\/em> laugh at Ricky\u2019s opening, but she downright scowled<\/em> through it!,) presented together. Perfect. (And I was happy to see them bomb.)<\/p>\n Now it’s six out of six.<\/p>\n Brian Cox<\/strong>\u2019s speech was the first not-great one.<\/p>\n Margot Robbie (and her very messy hair) congratulating Quentin Tarantino. Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n Margot Robbie<\/strong> is the most gorgeous girl. But why is her hair so often filthy and stringy? Why would you go to an awards show like that?<\/p>\n Brad Pitt <\/strong>and Leonardo DiCaprio<\/strong> should have dropped the mike. I can hardly handle either one of their beauty on his own, but to see them together just made me squirm! [Note: Obviously, that’s those gorgeous men in the picture at the top of this page, so you can see them in a big pic. \u00a0Photo by Karen Salkin.]<\/p>\n That is the best Kathy Bates<\/strong> ever looked!<\/p>\n Laura Dern<\/strong> was the first American<\/em> to finally win last night! And she probably deserved it. (I\u2019ve seen only one<\/em> of the other four nominated performances, so I can\u2019t judge fairly. There are different nods for the SAG Awards, which I vote for at the end of next week.)<\/p>\n Gwyneth Paltrow from the back. I guess she wants the world to see her naked butt. She’s one of the only people shot from behind!!! Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n Gwyneth Paltrow<\/strong> is a lunatic! Now she wore a dress with her naked butt being seen, butt-crack and all!!! How desperate is she?!<\/p>\n The award for Most Mismatched-Looking Couple goes to Priyanka Chopra <\/strong>and Nick Jonas<\/strong>. Mr. X said they look like they met at a party where everybody put their keys in a bowl.<\/p>\n How is Ansel Elgort<\/strong> starring in the upcoming film version of West Side Story<\/em>??? From the little bit he sang last night, (as a presenter,) he is a dreadful<\/em> singer!!! I thought that was a bit he was doing\u2014to make believe he could sing!<\/p>\n Why would Dakota Fanning<\/strong> want to look like she did? Were all the stylists in town booked? And has she no friends? Nor mirrors in her house?<\/p>\n Priyanka Chopra looking like she just saw herself and her husband, Nick Jonas, on the monitor, and realized they don’t go together! Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n I was wondering who would win for Best Original Song, when composers Elton John <\/strong>and Taylor Swift <\/strong>and Beyonce<\/strong> all showed-up. (I use the term \u201ccomposer\u201d loosely in that last case\u2014more like \u201csomeone whose contract allows her to slap her name onto the songwriting team!\u201d And she showed-up an hour into the show, to boot!) I could not imagine who the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, (the organization whose awards show this is, in case you didn\u2019t know,) would consider the biggest star. And then I realized it was no contest.\u00a0Of course<\/em> Elton was the victor\u2014he\u2019s foreign<\/em>!<\/p>\n But really–how did Elton John and Bernie Taupin<\/strong> never win a Grammy in all these decades of penning iconic songs??? That revelation from Elton last night really boggled my mind. [Sidebar # 3: Bernie\u2019s another one I\u2019ve met along the way.]<\/p>\n Patricia Arquette and her massive boobs. I guess she figures no one will look at her awful teeth if she pops those suckers out! Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n She always says the right things, but it\u2019s hard to take Patricia Arquette<\/strong> seriously when she\u2019s constantly popping her boobs out like that! She looked like a joke-y SNL<\/em> character!<\/p>\n Zoe Kravitz<\/strong> looked so classy. It was a pleasure to see, especially up against Patricia Arquette\u2019s creepy, desperate, classlessness!<\/p>\n I always love Olivia Colman<\/strong>\u2019s fun speeches.<\/p>\n Tom Hanks<\/strong> gave a nice, educational<\/em> speech. [Sidebar #4: Yes\u2014Tom is<\/em> another one for my book. It\u2019s practically writing itself right here and now!]<\/p>\n Joaquin Phoenix. It’s the best he has ever looked! Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n Mr. X said that Helen Mirren<\/strong> has gotten better-looking as she\u2019s aged. But I\u2019ve only known of her old<\/em>, so I have nothing to compare it to. But I get why so many find her attractive, even though she\u2019s far from \u201cpretty.\u201d<\/p>\n Sam Mendes<\/strong> is yet another British winner. But even though I have yet to see 1917<\/em>, (which, in a big coincidence, is sort-of part of my phone number!,) the film is supposed to feature one of the greatest cinematic achievements ever, so I have a feeling he deserves both wins.<\/p>\n Embarrassment-to-the-industry Tiffany Haddish hanging on the winners for the very serious show, Chernobyl. Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n Tiffany Haddish<\/strong> was even more disgraceful that usual. She sashayed on-stage ahead of co-presenter Salma Hayek<\/strong>, like it was all just her<\/em>. \u00a0And then she purposely didn\u2019t even let their joke work. The most shameful was that she hung all over the people who won the award they were presenting for Chernobyl<\/em>! Even Salma<\/em> looked disturbed, and moved like she was going to tell Tiffany to stop it, just when that segment wrapped-up. Disgusting woman, that Haddish.<\/p>\n By the way, that was a weird-looking group of people from\u00a0Chernobyl<\/em>.<\/p>\n Why does Michelle Williams<\/strong> always make herself look so awful? That hairdo\u2014ugh.<\/p>\n Jennifer Lopez’s awful dress. Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n JLo<\/strong>\u2019s dress was awful! (And I admire her very much, so it pains me to say so.) When she has every designer in the world available to her, why would she choose that ugly Christmas package bow gown, which has no redeeming qualities whatsoever? I think maybe she was trying to not<\/em> choose a sexy ensemble, to seem like a serious actress. And she should have saved that serious hairdo<\/em> for the Oscars, (in case she gets a nod.) The Golden Globes is a more fun, loose show than the Academy Awards. (Or mayb<\/em>e, since the Oscars nominations didn\u2019t come out yet, she\u2019s trying to show those voters that she\u2019d be a good choice!) I\u2019m also sad that she had yet another facelift, even though she definitely always has the best plastic surgery I\u2019ve ever seen, including her multiple nose jobs!!! (I think I need her doc\u2019s number.)<\/p>\n I always hear jokes about Paul Rudd<\/strong> never aging, but he does<\/em> look the same as he did on Friends<\/em>!!!<\/p>\n Brad Pitt. Just because. Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n Hildur Gu\u00f0nad\u00f3ttir<\/strong>, another foreigner, won for Best Original Score for Joker<\/em>. I\u2019ve lost count.<\/p>\n Brad Pitt beat-out Pacino and Pesci and Hanks and Hopkins for Best Supporting\u00a0Actor??? And he seemed so embarrassed by it.<\/p>\n OMG\u2014I think I might be in love with Brad Pitt! His last two lines of his speech, one about being kind, really got to me.<\/p>\n Why did Pierce Brosnan get to appear twice? That\u2019s just nutty.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s far from a newsflash\u2014Joaquin Phoenix<\/strong> is weird.<\/p>\n Renee Zellweger. Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n There\u2019s so much bad to say about Renee Zellweger<\/strong>. First of all, her face was so greasy. And she was in desperate need of earrings, good hair,\u00a0and lip balm. Worst of all, why did she have a southern accent all of a sudden? And why did it come and go in that short space of time??? What a self-involved speech that was. No one in the live audience even seemed to like her.\u00a0 (And what happened to that she supposedly finally had her eyes fixed last year? I guess it didn\u2019t take. How can she even see out of those slits???)<\/p>\n Sandra Bullock<\/strong> is yet another woman who needs a hairbrush!<\/p>\n To sum-up the 2020 Golden Globes–this show needed so much more Ricky Gervais!!!!!!!<\/p>\n E ARRIVALS<\/strong><\/p>\n The blonde Morticia. Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n That giant forehead woman host finally listened to me after all these years and went with sleeves! Hooray. But that long blonde wig was hideous!!! She looked like a blonde Morticia. And she still doesn\u2019t know enough to stop saying everything is \u201camazing!\u201d How does she have a job on TV???<\/p>\n Years ago, Pierce Brosnan\u2019s wife, Keeley Shay Smith<\/strong>, and I were both correspondents on a local LA morning show. We never met, but I can tell you that she was gorgeous! I feel bad that I<\/em> have since gained a bit of weight, (because I broke my back, and can no longer exercise,) but why did she<\/em> do that, especially when she has the bucks for private trainers and chefs?!?!?! It\u2019s insane.<\/p>\n Pierce Brosnan (on the right, of course,) with his wife and their two sons.<\/p><\/div>\n I love what Sofia Vergara<\/strong> said about milking the\u00a0Modern Family\u00a0<\/em>experience from the start, that she vowed to accept every invitation and opportunity that came her way. That\u2019s my<\/em> exact philosophy, too. And she always did it in a charming way, which not everyone does.<\/p>\n Saoirse Ronan<\/strong> has gotten gorgeous<\/em>! It\u2019s a tad strange, too, because her skin is sooo white. But I think her beauty is because her skin is brown-white, not white-white. (Calm down, people–I\u2019m not saying anything ethnic<\/em>\u2014I\u2019m just talking about skin tones.)<\/p>\n<\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a>