![\"Portent](\"http:\/\/itsnotaboutme.tv\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/IMG_0562-e1526889216863.jpg\")
<\/a>Portent of things to come in this article–this is part of our tea re-dux the following afternoon. Photo by Mr. X.<\/p><\/div>\n
I\u2019ll discuss those topics in a moment, (along with a little bit of everything about the big day,) but first I must say that, even with my dislike of the bride, I really wanted the Royal Wedding to be classy and elegant, with decorum, as Kate and William\u2019s was. But, sadly, it was not.<\/p>\n
[Note: Speaking of classy and elegant and Kate, I didn\u2019t think I could respect her more than I already did, but that\u2019s just what happened with this wedding. That darling girl showed-up in a very bland outfit that she\u2019s already worn several times over the past few years, just to not take even one moment\u2019s notice away from the bride. And she came in with the children at the end, too, being just a mom, as opposed to the most famous Duchess of all. That<\/em> is a wonderful woman!]<\/p>\n Now back to the actual wedding. What is wrong with everyone? It seems that people are scared to say a bad word about both this inane wedding ceremony nor the coupling itself for fear of being branded a racist! As I hope you all know by now, I\u2019m the furthest thing from prejudiced against anyone\u2019s<\/em> ethnic situation\u2014I just don\u2019t trust this girl.<\/p>\n Kate Middleton, in the lowkey cream-colored coat-dress, walking her children into the wedding. (Look at how adorable Prince George is on the far left.)<\/p><\/div>\n And neither does Mr. X. He very rarely says a word against anyone, but when he does, he\u2019s usually correct. He was absolutely right about the few former friends of mine he didn\u2019t like. (Hence, the word \u201cformer.\u201d) And when he had a bad feeling about someone’s husband, bingo again.<\/p>\n I asked a very young couple I met on the eve of the royal nuptials if they were planning to watch the wedding. They had to think for a minute about what I meant, and when they did, the girl said matter-of-factly about Meghan, \u201cShe\u2019s untrustworthy.\u201d And the guy agreed. They both said they couldn\u2019t put their fingers on it, but that\u2019s the feeling they have. And I totally agree. There\u2019s just something so slick and conniving and manipulative and calculating about her. During the ceremony, I kept thinking of Gene Tierney\u2019s character in Leave Her To Heaven<\/em>. (Only not good-loping like that.) For Harry\u2019s sake, I hope that my gut is wrong this time.<\/p>\n MR. X AND MY PRIVATE WEDDING \u201cPARTY\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Before I critique the goony, classless wedding itself, I have to tell you about how Mr. X and lived it, which is where all the fun was. Sadly, both of us were suffering from the after-effects of the flu that we had suffered through the week before, so I wasn\u2019t planning to do anything special for us this Royal Wedding go-round. But then I read my own tips for watching it, (which you can still read here:\u00a0itsnotaboutme.tv\/news\/karens-tips-tips-on-watching-this-latest-2018-royal-wedding<\/a>,) and realized how disappointed I would be with myself if I didn\u2019t at least put in a bit<\/em> of effort.<\/p>\n The tea sandwiches and scones. Photo by Mr. X.<\/p><\/div>\n And even Mr. X was amazed and pleased with the results! I actually pulled it all together just that day. And night! I did a tad of grocery shopping for the occasion that afternoon, and then made the entire repast in under two hours that night…when I got home from reviewing a play, with a reception afterwards!!! And still coughing my guts out, while being drowsy from the cough medicine. What a woman, if I do say so myself! (Maybe Harry should have married me<\/em>! After all, he\u2019s obviously into older women.) I got it all together in under two hours, including whipping-up (figuratively and<\/em> literally!,) my own clotted cream! (The stores I had shopped at didn\u2019t carry it, and I had no time to go anywhere else when I discovered that dearth.)<\/p>\n Our repast, from above. Photo by Mr. X.<\/p><\/div>\n So, this was our Royal-Wedding-watching menu: A flowering green tea in a glass pot, honey for it, (of course,) finger sandwiches of pineapple cream cheese and walnuts on cinnamon-raisin bread, mini blueberry scones (which were store-bought, but I doctored them up, and they were perf) with my homemade clotted cream and blackberry jam, and giant strawberries, which we also dipped in the cream. Yu-um!!! (I had angel food cake and chocolate-covered shortbreads on-hand for dessert, but we were too full to have them, both times! That\u2019s right\u2014we did it all again that afternoon when we finally arose for the day, at Mr. X\u2019s request! And that time, I added little caprese sandwiches to the whole shebang.)<\/p>\n Karen Salkin featuring her pale pink Royal Wedding nails and crazy makeshift fascinator. Photo by Mr. X.<\/p><\/div>\n We were too sick and exhausted to go with full-on festive wardrobe, but I did<\/em> polish my nails a pale pink for the occasion. I rarely have such genteel-looking fingernails, so that was an interesting change for me. I have a few gorgeous fascinators to my name, but didn\u2019t have the time, or energy, to find one before that night, but I loved the makeshift substitute I did wear all night. (Really<\/em>\u00a0all night\u2014it was so light that I forgot I had it on and wore it to bed!) A star on the end of a point scared me in the middle of the night, (rather, the\u00a0morning<\/em>, because we went to sleep after 6AM,) because when I saw it move in the dim light of dawn, I thought it was a\u00a0bug<\/em>\u00a0on my pillow!!! Oh, what was it already? It was a patriotic scrunchie that had chiffon tentacles emanating from it, with red, white, and blue stars on the points. I attached it to the top of my head with a big clip. And it was adorbs!!!<\/p>\n So, I guess you can see why I forgot to live-tweet much that morning, which I wholeheartedly apologize for. Between the food coma, and the weird hours, (we watched every second of the coverage from 1-6AM, west coast time,) I was just too lazy to get on the computer much. (And I hate tweeting from my phone\u2014I don\u2019t know how anyone<\/em>\u00a0can\u00a0do that! Those people are all going to wind-up cross-eyed and hunched-over, with arthritic fingers! Mark my words.)<\/p>\n Now let\u2019s get to my impressions of the proceedings.<\/p>\n CEREMONY AND COVERAGE<\/strong><\/p>\n If I had heard one more time that Meghan had \u201cgiven up so much,\u201d I was going to puke! Even the idiot commentators couldn\u2019t come up with anything that she actually<\/em> gave up other than \u201csocial media.\u201d That is nothing to \u201cgive up\u201d!!! She gave up nothing<\/em>. No-thing!!! She got exactly what she wanted and doesn\u2019t have to work another day in her life. And charity work is not work<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s a privilege<\/em>! She will have every single thing done for her from here on out. (Now, if they would just hire someone to wash her hair and face, and show her how to wear her hair so she doesn\u2019t look like she\u2019s just doing housework, that would be great.)<\/p>\n Notice the woman in the middle taking a nap, right in the middle of that American pastor’s self-absorbtion.<\/p><\/div>\n I did switch around the channels a bit, but chose a station where there was little to no commentary during the actual ceremony. But I knew that as soon as it was all over, not one of them would be telling the truth about what they had just seen. And, boy, was I right!\u00a0 Human and touching??? Personal??? Powerful???\u00a0 Were they watching the same fiasco that Mr. X and I were??? They really spun that boring nonsense.<\/p>\n That creepy American pastor was beyond unnecessary. And totally inappropriate for the occasion. If the purpose was to add some \u201ccolor\u201d to the proceedings, (which I\u2019m sure it was,) they should have invited Meghan\u2019s relatives! He went on and on for about twenty minutes. People were literally nodding-off during his self-involved rant. Even Harry and Meghan were making crazy eye moves to try to stay awake. Prince Phillip was wishing the man would shut up already because he wanted to make it to ninety-seven next week!!! (When I asked\u00a0just who chose this blowhard, Mr. X opined, \u201cOprah.\u201d Touche.)<\/p>\n MEGHAN\u2019S PHONY \u201cKINDNESS\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Meghan pretends that \u201ckindness\u201d is so important to her, but she\u2019s awful to her own family!!! How could she leave them out, but invite total strangers, who are celebrities, (of course)? And Serena Williams got to bring not just her husband, but her agent<\/em>, as well!!! I cannot even portray how disgusting and offensive that was! I\u2019m sure that Meghan is very close with Serena\u2019s agent. Not.<\/p>\n [Note: This is what her brother had to say about her, in case you\u2019re interested: www.dailymail.co.uk\/news\/article-5683559\/Meghan-Markles-brother-warns-Prince-Harry-biggest-mistake-royal-wedding-history.htm<\/a>l.]<\/p>\n On ABC, Andrew Morton noted early on that none of Markle\u2019s family, outside of her mother, was there, and that that was the elephant in the room. So host Robin Roberts quickly tried to make it like Meghan\u2019s friends are her family. Yes, we all<\/em> say that our friends are our family, but it\u2019s a tad strange that none of hers were there! It\u2019s like she was trying to deny their existence. (Hey, listen, I\u2019m<\/em> related to some creeps myself, but even so, I would not leave them out of this major occasion.)<\/p>\n The Beckhams arriving at the wedding.<\/p><\/div>\n A British commenter on a site wrote this, with which I totally concur:\u00a0\u201cSo her Mum attended the wedding but she managed to rub out the rest of her entire family from the guest list and replaced them with strangers who are celebrities. Very \u2018humanitarian!\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n Here\u2019s another sign of a selfish girl\u2014she didn\u2019t even have a maid of honor to share her big moment with! Who does<\/em> that??? How about the person who introduced you to Prince Harry in the first place?! Doesn\u2019t that seem like a great friend?!<\/p>\n On top of that, the only friends she seemed to have there at all are co-stars or more-famous-than-she actresses! Think about it.<\/p>\n One last thing about her insincere kindness, which has bothered me ever since I first heard her speak, at their engagement interview. In it, she phonily said that, when they were set-up, she knew nothing about Prince Harry. Yeah, right. Like that calculating woman had not studied everything about him before she set her sights on him! She said she asked the matchmaker just one question, \u201cIs he nice?,\u201d because, \u201cIf he wasn\u2019t kind,\u201d that would have been a dealbreaker. Any moron with half a brain has known of Harry\u2019s kindness forever!!! That\u2019s the one and only reason she makes believe that trait is important to her!!! I hate that he hasn\u2019t seen right through her.<\/p>\n WEDDING LOOK FAILS<\/strong><\/p>\n Meghan Markle’s messy hair and make-up. She actually looked even worse than this–my camera softened the lighting a lot! Who looks this bad on her own wedding day??? Photo by Karen Salkin.<\/p><\/div>\n If I were Jessica Alba, I would not be bragging that her company\u2019s people did Meghan\u2019s make-up! That was the worst make-up job I\u2019ve ever seen!!!\u00a0 Meghan looked the same that she always does, but worse.\u00a0 There was no glow or dreaminess to her look. Her skin looked downright dreadful, her eye make-up was all smudged under her eyes, (and not in a good, sexy, smoky eye way,) and she was in desperate need of lipstick! (No one loves a nude lip more than\u00a0I<\/em>\u00a0do, but there\u2019s a time and place for it.) And, let me be the only one with guts enough to point this out\u2014how did no one remove her moustache for her big day???<\/p>\n Her hair was in that messy bun that she thinks is so attractive when it\u2019s far from it. Even if it was<\/em>, it\u2019s not appropriate for any<\/em> wedding, even as a guest, and definitely not when you\u2019re the bride, and…it\u2019s a Royal Wedding!!! That was a \u201cstyle,\u201d with those dirty pieces falling down, that one would wear while cleaning the house! She looked like she had had a hard night and hadn\u2019t even gotten into the shower yet!<\/p>\n And that wedding gown looked like a sack dress that was made at the last minute from a bolt of basic fabric that was lying around. Especially compared to Kate\u2019s stunner seven years ago! I\u2019m sure the fault lies not with the designer but with manipulative Meghan; she seems to be married not to Harry but to that stupid neckline! And that washwoman hair.<\/p>\n Speaking of her tresses again, the Queen must have fainted to see that gorgeous tiara, which is a very valuable family heirloom, sitting atop that greasy mess of hair!<\/p>\n<\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a>