So, all these years later, I was shocked once again when that same man remembered word-for-word what he said to me those many years ago. And he even knew which of that quintet of attributes was the one I cared most about. I\u2019ve since asked some other of my peeps that same question, and they must think that I\u2019m as shallow as I pretend to be because they all got it wrong.\u00a0 Except for the original author of the statement\u2014without hesitation, he knew that being kind<\/em> was my number one priority in life! As it should be for\u00a0everyone<\/em>.(But, quite sadly, is not<\/em>!)<\/p>\n This is the waitress being kind, which looks like it’s normal to her, so she rocks!<\/p><\/div>\n So when I recently read a news story about how a waitress was rewarded for her kindness in cutting-up the food of a disabled customer, as happy as I was for her (because her reward was a college scholarship,) I realized right away that I had to discuss this here.<\/p>\n That story reminded me right away of a little story that happened with my own friends in Aspen several years ago. You need to hear it spoken<\/em> to get the full impact, so you should click here for my new short video about it on my YouTube channel, (but then come back to finish this article): www.youtube.com\/watch?v=mon4s6dE7TU<\/a>.<\/p>\n I was amazed by that concept back then, (which is basically that acts such as the one in the news story should be considered normal<\/em>, not nice<\/em>,) as I still<\/em> am all these years later. (You have to see the video above to fully understand of what I speak.) Shamefully for this entire world, kindness is far from the norm these days. It should be innate to human beings, but nowadays, kids seem to learn to be ruthless and even mean<\/em>, because that\u2019s the majority of behavior they see from their parents, celebrities, and in the media. I don\u2019t have high hopes for this new generation at all, especially because they\u2019re learning evil straight from the supposed leader of this country right now!<\/p>\n My mother was the absolute kindest person I\u2019ve ever met. So, I learned from the best. I truly always thought this way of life was indeed, normal. My family dining room was constantly loaded with goodie bags for us to fill for children in hospitals. (And, as someone who\u00a0receives\u00a0<\/em>goodie bags now, I can assure you that it is, indeed, more fun to\u00a0give<\/em>\u00a0than to\u00a0receive<\/em>. I adored putting those gifts together, knowing how much joy it would bring to the recipients.) As a teacher, Maybelle organized talent shows with her students to go entertain in those hospitals. And she always gave clothing, food, and lots of money to the families of her cash-strapped students.<\/p>\n She also threw many parties at our house for her students each year, which got them all to bond. I never even realized this one situation until a former student told the story at her funeral: He\u2019s a gay man who said that my mother was the first person to ever not only accept<\/em> that he was gay as a teen, but make him feel good and special about being so. She gave him the confidence to be himself, which has continued throughout his very successful life. That story reminded me that my siblings and I were the only white Jewish kids who had black and Asian friends back then. My parents never made us think that people are different.<\/p>\n Then there was my kindest\u00a0friend, Alicia Maczuga, who was a true angel on earth. Every time I stayed with her in Rhode Island, I was overwhelmed by her kindness, not just to me<\/em>, but to the world<\/em>. I\u2019ve honestly never seen such a great mother. And she spread sunshine wherever she went. She brought a smile to the faces of every worker in every store we walked into. This is just a small sample of what she did for me<\/em>: First of all, she made plans for me before I even got to town. She made time in her busy life to search for new tea places to open up, just to surprise afternoon-tea-loving moi. (And this was before<\/em> everything was available on the world wide web!!!) She always had a nightgown laid-out for me when I got there, with flannel on the inside and silk on the outside, so I could be cozy and attractive at the same time! Then, she\u2019d go out every morning to get me freshly-baked muffins, wait to hear me get out of the shower, and pop one in the microwave, so that I\u2019d have a hot fresh muffin right away. Wow.<\/p>\n And I\u2019m lucky enough to have a few kind\u00a0living<\/em>\u00a0pals.\u00a0 I could not have gotten through the death of my little mother, and the aftermath, without Lauren Bennett in New York. This woman drove from Manhattan to pick me up at the airport, took me to my house in Brooklyn, and then stayed with me, so I wouldn\u2019t have to be alone until I got used to the house without my mother. And on my last Mother\u2019s Day there, which would have been a killer for me, she and her husband drove from the Hamptons to get me in Brooklyn, then on to Manhattan just to take me out to dinner with her family, and then back to Brooklyn to stay with me, so that I would not have to be alone on that heartbreaking day. There\u2019s so much more than that, too, (but I can\u2019t list any more because I don\u2019t want others to feel inadequate.)<\/p>\n And then we have Carol Rampino, the most pleasant person ever. Besides being a single girl working hard for her money, and then using her earnings to buy so many things for her family<\/em>, instead of herself<\/em>, she did something wonderful for my<\/em> family, too. She lived in Brooklyn when my mother was alive, and she\u2019d print every single article I wrote and bring them to my mother, who didn\u2019t have a computer, so therefore would never have been able to read my columns otherwise. Someone being good to my mother was always the most important thing to me.<\/p>\n By the way, this is not at all what I was planning to write. I just wanted to say that kindness should be normal<\/em>, but, as I continued writing, I realized that I\u2019m lauding these kind peeps because it is so not what we find every day. And that\u2019s so sad to me.<\/p>\n Audrey Hepburn receiving her Oscar from Jean Hersholt in 1954. Audrey would go on to receive the Humanitarian Award, which is named after Jean Hersholt, in 1993.<\/p><\/div>\n One more tidbit about kindness, in general. One of my favorite aspects of the Academy Awards, since I was a little kid, has always been seeing who gets the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award. That continued kindness effort is so much more important than an acting award, don\u2019t you agree? It didn\u2019t dawn on me until a few years ago that this award is so special, it\u2019s not given-out every<\/em> year; just when there\u2019s someone in Hollywood who merits it. And the very sad news is that in the ninety<\/em> years of the Oscars, it\u2019s been awarded only thirty-eigh<\/em>t times! And only nine<\/em> times in the past twenty-eight<\/em> years!!! I\u2019m sort-of ashamed to be even a minuscule part of the industry with stats like that.<\/p>\n When I tell people of my admiration for Angelina Jolie, and they think I’m nuts, because she\u2019s been a tad nutty herself in the past, I explain that it\u2019s her kindness and humanity<\/em> I’m talking about. What a shame that people don\u2019t realize that to begin with. But at least Hollywood has recognized her many kindnesses because she received a Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award in 2014.<\/p>\n And it\u2019s never too late, for any of us, (because I<\/em> should do better in that department, as well.) Kindness should be normal, (which is my whole point to this essay to begin with, before I took all these detours,) but when it\u2019s not<\/em>, I hope that all of us can dig deep and do unto others as we would have them do unto us. And be happy to be doing so!<\/p>\n [Note: So, now that you\u2019ve read all this, if you haven\u2019t yet seen my companion video, this would be a good time: www.youtube.com\/watch?v=mon4s6dE7TU<\/a>.]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" KINDNESS SHOULD BE\u00a0NORMAL! For the basic premise of this article, I have to tell you a little story, which is good about myself, so I feel funny writing it. It was much easier for me to tell it to you verbally, so I hope you\u2019ll watch my latest YouTube video, before you finish reading this<\/p>\n![\"Unknown-1\"](\"http:\/\/itsnotaboutme.tv\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Unknown-1.jpeg\")
<\/a>So, here\u2019s the embarrassing story: Many years ago, a no-nonsense male friend asked me if Mr. X was in love with me. Before I had time to give my jokey answer, (which would probably have been, \u201cHe said he\u2019ll let me know when it happens,\u201d) my pal answered it for both of us. He said exactly, \u201cHow could he not?! You\u2019re beautiful, sexy, witty, bright, and kind.\u201d I was in shock because I<\/em> had never even thought of myself in those terms; I was just\u00a0me<\/em>.<\/p>\n![\"This](\"http:\/\/itsnotaboutme.tv\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/4A0BD9E500000578-5483525-image-m-49_1520623886011-e1521735797348-300x235.jpg\")
<\/a>![\"kindness-1080x776\"](\"http:\/\/itsnotaboutme.tv\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/kindness-1080x776-300x215.jpg\")
<\/a>In this cutthroat world, hardly anyone I know is kind anymore. And being good to people\u00a0for money<\/em>\u00a0is not kindness<\/em>\u2014that\u2019s\u00a0business<\/em>. The trio of kindest people I\u2019ve ever known are no longer on this level of life.<\/p>\n![\"NoActOfKindnessIsEverWasted\"](\"http:\/\/itsnotaboutme.tv\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/NoActOfKindnessIsEverWasted-300x138.png\")
<\/a>One last note about my little mo: every time I was in town, (which was often after my father died,) she had me buy dozens of little boxes of chocolates, so that she\u2019d always have a gift to give anyone who did even the smallest thing for her! Have you ever heard of such a thing?!<\/p>\n![\"kindness-620\"](\"http:\/\/itsnotaboutme.tv\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/kindness-620-300x176.jpg\")
<\/a>And then there was my best friend of recent years, Carole Wilcox, who has sadly joined Maybelle and Alicia in heaven. This was a lady with all rich pals, (outside of me<\/em>, of course,) who was a single mother and very low on funds herself, but, rather than working at a paying<\/em> job, she volunteered\u00a0full-time<\/em>\u00a0at a hospital!!! And, trust me, she didn\u2019t do it as a trick to meet doctors to date; she actually spent her time fending them off! She was just kind. If she had a free day, she spent it driving an elderly neighbor to appointments. And if she got a gift certificate to a restaurant, she always included me in it with her son and herself. On top of that, she was my first friend in my entire life who gave me gifts just for being nice to her! I\u2019ve rarely even had pals thank<\/em> me for including them in my glamorous activities, let alone get me \u201cthank you\u201d gifts<\/em>!!!<\/p>\n![\"02-Kindness-Quotes-to-Remind-You-to-Be-Nice-233350501-MSSA-1024x683\"](\"http:\/\/itsnotaboutme.tv\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/02-Kindness-Quotes-to-Remind-You-to-Be-Nice-233350501-MSSA-1024x683-300x200.jpg\")
<\/a>And then there\u2019s Sheila Tracy. Sheila drove from Ohio<\/em> to help me clear-out my Brooklyn<\/em> house every time I was there<\/em>!!! She never even takes a vacation for\u00a0herself<\/em>, but she came all the way there to help me, time and time again!!! And she did all the work!!! I\u2019d wake up, and she would already be cleaning for hours.\u00a0My<\/em>\u00a0house, not hers!!! Who does that???<\/p>\n![\"rak8\"](\"http:\/\/itsnotaboutme.tv\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/rak8-300x238.jpg\")
<\/a>Which brings me to Betsy Abramova, who I\u2019m thrilled to announce just became a nurse, which is perfect for such a kind person. This girl volunteered to visit the elderly when she was just<\/em> a young teen-ager<\/em>. For no other reason than to be kind! How many other young people can say that?! Not many, I\u2019m sure. (And, sadly, only two others whom I\u2019ve ever met.) And that\u2019s how I met Betsy. No\u2014she did not help\u00a0me<\/em>, you mean people! She helped my little mo. She went over after school and read all my columns (that Carol had printed-out) to my mother, organized her meds and her schedule, and just generally cheered her up all the time. Can you see why I call her my little sister? She\u2019s more of family to me than my own blood relatives! Whoever hires her as a nurse now will be lucky to have her.<\/p>\n![\"Audrey](\"http:\/\/itsnotaboutme.tv\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/rsz_585267591-e1521737035743-300x210.jpg\")
<\/a>![\"Kindness-Matters\"](\"http:\/\/itsnotaboutme.tv\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Kindness-Matters-300x211.png\")
<\/a>So, if you\u2019re one of the kind few in this world, I hope so much that you will stay that way, and not let the sad state of the world jade you. Someone asked me recently why I wasn\u2019t cutting-out one of my pals who never gives back to me in any way. And my true answer is that I never want anyone else\u2019s bad behavior to make me change my good behavior.<\/p>\n