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<\/a>This was like opposite day to me–I expected the best Grammys show ever, with all the build-up and iconic performers like Bob Dylan, Barbra Streisand, and Mick Jagger (the only one who delivered.) And I always expect an awful Red Carpet for all awards shows, but especially the Grammys, because the music business is not exactly made-up of mental giants with good speech and something to say. They\u2019re talented in ways most of us can never even dream of, but profundity and charm are not their strong suits.<\/p>\nBut as dreadful <\/em>as the actual show<\/em> was, (I\u2019ll get to that later,) the red carpet <\/em>was kind-of good! And not because of attention-seeking idiots like Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj. Most of the other celebs were basically normal, and some, like Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, and of course, Adam Lambert, actually bordered on\u2026dare I say\u2026classy?<\/p>\n On the other hand, the show<\/em> was just awful. Mr. X and I kept wishing that we had fallen behind and could just speed through it. It was one desperate act after another. The producers were trying so hard to create \u201cspecial moments\u201d that could be talked about for years to come, like Ricky Martin\u2019s jaw-dropping debut in 1999 with Livin\u2019 La Vida Loca<\/em>, that they ignored trying to give us any spectacular numbers at all! Most of the attempts just fell flat.<\/p>\n I actually jotted down about eight pages of notes about the entire evening, but, feeling that may be too long for your concentration, I\u2019ll they to lump some thoughts together, sort-of like the show did with the acts I was just complaining about, only I have a feeling mine will be much more cohesive.<\/p>\n I think I\u2019ll start with my show thoughts first and then move backwards to my Red Carpet musings, both of them way pared-down from my original mini-series-length notes.<\/p>\n I\u2019m so glad I didn\u2019t go to the show because, with my luck, I would have been seated behind Nicki Minaj or Janelle Monae! Don\u2019t they realize how rude they are to wear such high \u201chair\u201d to sit in an audience???<\/p>\n Unfortunately, the best part of the show was Letterman\u2019s Top 10! We didn\u2019t need to sit through three and a half hours just to hear that!<\/p>\n Mick was really fun, and sang Solomon Burke\u2019s biggest song, making it a true<\/em> tribute to the man.<\/p>\n On the other hand, what was up with that inane \u201ctribute to Teddy Pendergrass\u201d by Lady Antebellum? It consisted of a few lines <\/em>from a song that wasn\u2019t even his<\/em>, but rather one he recorded when he was with Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes!!!<\/p>\n The show was so bad by 9:48PM, that I found myself wishing that they\u2019d do the In Memoriam section already to bring the room up<\/em> a little!<\/p>\n Then, when they finally did it, I was apoplectic. (Maybe the CBS2 reporter had seen that section, too, and that\u2019s why she wound-up with a condition that made her speak gibberish.) [Note: she\u2019s really okay–that\u2019s the only reason I can make that joke.] How dare they trivialize the late great Teena Marie by putting her on a card with others??? If anyone deserved to be on her own, it\u2019s Teena. It\u2019s bad enough they did that to anyone<\/em>, but if they must, lumping together deceased entertainment attorneys and others we never heard of would be okay, but not any<\/em> performer, let alone an amazing one!<\/p>\n Song Of The Year winner, Lady Antebellum\u2019s Need You Now<\/em>, is a song about drunk dialing for a booty call. Lovely.<\/p>\n By 10:09, I realized what this show needed: a comic host. Not an annoying<\/em> one, like most of the shows have, who try to make it all about him\/herself, but perhaps someone really <\/em>funny like Chris Rock or Jack Black. I know the Grammys always like to be \u201cclassy,\u201d (well, as classy as a music show can be,) but it was just a snooze-fest.<\/p>\n Poor, poor Babs. (Barbra Streisand, for you not in the know.) Her worst nightmare was realized with that awful vocal performance. Mr. X and I had to hold hands during it, like we do for frightening events. No wonder she doesn\u2019t usually sing in public anymore. She obviously couldn\u2019t control her voice<\/em>, but what about that miserable hair and Saturday Night Live <\/em>colonial skit outfit??? (She looked so bad that I couldn’t even find any full-length pix of her performing!\u00a0 How did she manage to get those deleted from the internet?) And why are all the other reviewers so scared to something bad about her? The other reviews I read said stuff like she was \u201cin fine voice.\u201d Is she holding their families hostage?<\/p>\n The other was the camera catching Nicole Kidman singing along, with gusto, to Katy Perry\u2019s number. When she realized, she got so embarrassed. It was a really cute and charming moment.<\/p>\n At 11:14, Mr. X summed it up more succinctly than I can: \u201cThis show is a total suck bag.\u201d I hear ya, bro!<\/p>\n Since I was pleasantly surprised by many of these Red Carpet interviews, I decided to break it down into winners and losers this time.<\/p>\n Shockingly, Ryan Seacrest! He\u2019s finally gotten it right and makes it about the interviewees, rather than about showing the audience that he personally knows everyone.<\/p>\n Bruno Mars. When Ryan said, \u201cTell me what it means to have seven nominations at the Grammys,\u201d he replied, \u201cIt means hard work pays off.\u201d So simple and humble. Maybe the rest of the assemblage should start doing his drugs! (Seriously, only kidding about that!!!)<\/p>\n Selena Gomez looked and sounded so grown-up, in a lovely down-to-earth way. And she has excellent vocabulary, too. Just started loving her. So glad that she and the adorable and charming Justin Bieber are hanging out, on whatever level. That\u2019s a perfect duo.<\/p>\n Drake, who brought his mom, I think as a visual aid to show us that he\u2019s really Jewish, for those who thought his announcing it recently was just a publicity stunt.<\/p>\n My favorite Red Carpet moment? Two of the many couples of ladies-towering-over-the-men, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban and JLo and Mark Anthony, greeting each other away from the mike. They were all so genuinely smiley and happy to see each other. If you can read lips, you could see that Keith was animatedly telling Jen that he loved her on American<\/em> Idol<\/em>. <\/em>But I am dying to know why Keith congratulated Ryan knowingly when they spoke on-camera. Are Ryan and Julianne Hough engaged or something??? You read it here first, if that\u2019s the case.<\/p>\n Chris Harrison–always looking down at his notes, rather than listening to the interviewee, and often has something rude to say, that\u2019s not even amusing. And he doesn\u2019t even listen to himself<\/em>! He told B.o.B., \u201cYou realize Stevie Wonder, everybody you\u2019ve ever grown-up listening to, they\u2019re all going to be staring at you tonight.\u201d Yeah, Chris, Stevie Wonder\u2019s going to be staring<\/em>.<\/p>\n Willow Smith–this smug little girl, who would not be anywhere without her father manufacturing a career for her, is just downright obnoxious. When asked, \u201cWhat does it feel like for you when you\u2019re in the car and you hear it on the radio?,\u201d she answered, \u201cIt feels like all the people that are hearing the song are changing their lives, so I\u2019m very happy.\u201d She thinks her stupid hair-whipping song is changing anyone\u2019s life??? Talk about hubris! The only way that song is changing anyone\u2019s life is that whipping you head around a lot is very dangerous to one\u2019s health, so yeah, your stupid ditty may be ruining<\/em> lives. So, good for you. (That last line of mine to be delivered like Christian Bale did in his on-set rant last year.)<\/p>\n Matthew Morrison–he totally dissed the Glee<\/em> tour! When asked how he got out of doing it, he said because he has \u201cgood people\u201d repping him! Talk about biting the hand that feeds you!<\/p>\n<\/a>And the way they did the mixing of the artists was more than annoying; rather than pair the assorted stars for some singular collaborations that could have lasted in memory for years to come, like a jam session, they basically just put them together on stage, in succession, to do their own works. During that interminable number by banjo pickers who looked like an Appalachian prison band, Mr. X kept saying that he thought Bob Dylan was supposed to be in it. Yeah–that\u2019s how they had announced it, but Bob showed up for the last few minutes of that act to try to sing something that couldn\u2019t be heard over those exuberant strummers.<\/p>\nGRAMMYS TELECAST<\/h2>\n
<\/a>The number I was most looking-forward to was Ceelo singing Forget You<\/em>. I love that song! Even Gwyneth Paltrow joining him was not going to ruin it for me, and might even make it more fun. But, having him dress-up like a sad peacock or something was simply unfortunate on every level. His garb was just too distracting. And Gwyneth trying to dance on a piano just came off like some drunk girl in a bar. And I don\u2019t even want to use any brain power on trying to figure out why the Muppets were there! We all know the producers had Ceelo sitting at the piano, even though he rarely even tickled those ivories, to make sure that Gwyneth, especially in such high heels, didn\u2019t dwarf him, but it was all just so ridiculous and disappointing.<\/p>\n<\/a>Outside of Mick, there were only other two highlights for me. The musical one was the just-standing-at-the-mike trio of Norah Jones, Keith Urban, and John Mayer, singing a simple song with the two guitars. That was breathtaking.<\/p>\nGRAMMYS RED CARPET<\/h2>\n
WINNERS<\/h2>\n
<\/a>Miranda Lambert, Blake Shelton, B.o.B., LL Cool J, Jewel, and of course my favorite, Adam Lambert, are all so nice!!! LL even hired an \u201cetiquette expert\u201d to teach his children because he wants them to \u201chave manners\u201d and \u201cbe polite.\u201d So, the way this world is going, they\u2019ll be the only<\/em> ones with those sensibilities when they grow-up!<\/p>\n<\/a>Jennifer Lopez. Her shoes were the most mouth-watering I\u2019ve ever seen! Her dress and purse were way cool, too.<\/p>\nLOSERS<\/h2>\n