But I should have realized it would be weak–the writer-director is Sophia Coppola, the person who brought us the annoying Lost In Translation<\/em>. If I had paid more attention to what I was RSVPing to, I might have stayed home.<\/p>\n When it was over, my pal leaned over and whispered, \u201cSomewhere<\/em>? This should have been titled Nowhere<\/em>.\u201d I hear ya on that one!<\/p>\n It was like a student film of one long object exercise that you have to do in Acting 101 class. No fooling–I think no one talked for the first fifteen minutes of the only ninety-eight minutes.<\/p>\n As it went one, I got a little more into it because I finally figured-out what Sophia was going for, which she confirmed in her post-screening comments. But give me a break with this pace! And the stupid ending. Even she<\/em> couldn\u2019t explain it! And she\u2019s the one who wrote it! I guess it\u2019s supposed to be a look at a major movie star\u2019s really humdrum existence, but we got that in the first few minutes.<\/p>\n And what\u2019s wrong with the parents of the Fanning girls? First they allow Dakota to do that rape movie, and now Elle gets to be in this bore-and-a-half.<\/p>\n Surprisingly, Stephen Dorff, whom I\u2019ve never seen before, but is the star of Somewhere<\/em>, (and in every scene,) was kind-of interesting in the Q-and-A. He\u2019s a self-confessed smoker, which you can tell immediately when he speaks, and we all know how I feel about smokers, but he explained so much more than did the director. Strange.<\/p>\n Elle just laughed like an idiot, but then again, she\u2019s only twelve, though she looks about eighteen. And Sophia spoke with one hand waving the whole time in that affected manner of many show business folk. The whole event made me wish I was Somewhere<\/em> else.<\/p>\n Yeah, like these three would be attracted to...<\/p><\/div>\n While it\u2019s always a treat to see Dustin Hoffman on film, (or in person, for that matter,) even he couldn\u2019t save this one.<\/p>\n There are two big problems with Barney\u2019s Version <\/em>to begin with, (outside of the stupid title.) The first is that it veers too much from what is set-up at the beginning to be the main premise, a murder mystery of a man possibly wrongly-accused. They forgot all about it till the very last few sentences, leaving us confused as to why it was part of the story to begin with. (To be fair, it\u2019s based on a novel and is not an original screenplay.)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.itsnotaboutme.tv\/news\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/imagesCAP8X9J0.jpg\" "\\"imagesCAP8X9J0\\"")
<\/a>I almost walked out of the house without glasses, and when I got home, I realized it wouldn\u2019t have really mattered for this one! This is one of the slowest movies I\u2019ve ever seen.<\/p>\nBARNEY\u2019S VERSION<\/em><\/h1>\n
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