![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.itsnotaboutme.tv\/news\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/Deli-Facade-Scaled-940_470-e1371587869368.jpg\" "\\"Deli-Facade-Scaled-940_470\\"")
<\/a>So, on a day that we were skedded for a play date, (yes, grown-ups can have those, too!,) she suggested Mile End Deli, since we had both wanted to try it. It’s a bit far away from our ‘hoods, and I really didn’t want to spare much time away from working on my Brooklyn abode, so she even offered to pick-up some sandwiches and stuff and bring it over to my house.<\/p>\nSomeone had erroneously described it to her as an \u201ciconic<\/em> deli,\u201d but this was far from that! [Note: \u201ciconic\u201d means \u201cexecuted according to a convention or tradition,\u201d which this place is the opposite<\/em> of. Heck, I’d barely even call it a \u201cdeli!\u201d] Thank goodness I wound-up having to do some business in Manhattan that day, so we were able to \u201ctake\u201d afternoon tea instead.<\/p>\n But, since the Mile End blurb in the 2013 Zagat began, \u201cAgain rated NYC’s No. 1 deli,\u201d I kept it in the back of mind for another day.<\/p>\n My friend, Manny, was helping me at the house, and since we would be passing by the Boerum Hill section of Brooklyn on the way back to the city, when he asked if I wanted to have lunch at some quick little place, I immediately came up with Mile End; he’s a deli lover, and I just desire to try every eatery known to man! Especially nowadays in Brooklyn, with my three-months-a-year time there coming to an end.<\/p>\n After trying to park in that weird neighborhood for about a half hour, (I think I remember there being no left turns, or something like that,) and walking a few very long blocks, we finally arrived! And we were famished, (and fermisht<\/em>, which fellow deli-goers should understand,) which is usually when food tastes its best. That’s another rule that Mile End breaks because nothing about this place is fabulous in the least, especially the food! I’d like to know who these Zagats voters are because they must be subscribing to the \u201cVote For The Worst\u201d mentality! This place is barely a deli<\/em>, let alone the best<\/em> one in the city! And anyone who truly thinks so cannot be Jewish, because if my people are experts on one thing, it’s delicatessens! [Note: here’s an example of their non-classic deli fare : \u201cromaine & radicchio salad with green apple, pistachio, buttermilk dressing.\u201d Messrs. Carnegie and Katz are rolling over in their graves!]<\/p>\n The service was okay, but nothing to write home about, either. The servers and kitchen peeps didn’t exactly look fresh, though, so that just added to the un-appetizing-ness of the place. We were actually relieved that we didn’t have time to \u201cdine.\u201d (But I must laud them for being really helpful on the phone, all three times that I’ve called there. That’s a major bonus.)<\/p>\n Granted, we tried only three menu items, but that’s actually about a quarter of their entire<\/em> menu, so I think it’s a fair share to do a review of.<\/p>\n We asked what would be ready the fastest, since we were time-constrained. I wound-up with the weirdest reuben sandwich ever! It did<\/em> have the obligatory corned beef, cheese, and Russian dressing, but there was cole slaw instead of sauerkraut, and, in place of the classic rye bread, it was on seeded pumpernickel<\/em>…with raisins<\/em>!!! OMG! (And not in a good way.) And it was so wet from the overuse<\/em> of said dressing, that it literally crumbled in my hand and was so unattractive to consume. Don’t ever order it on a first date! (If this is where your gentleman caller chooses to take<\/em> you on a first date, run from the guy! Unless you’re both faux hipsters, then attendance here is de rigueur.) The sweetness of the raisins really did not blend well with the meat.<\/p>\n Speaking of meat, all<\/em> of it appears to be smoked! The fish, too. What’s up with that?!<\/p>\n Manny choked down the basic roast beef sandwich, and said it was the worst he ever had. And remember\u2014he’s the deli lover. He said the only thing that would have made it worse is if, after the long trek back to the car, we had gotten a ticket!<\/p>\n<\/a>So we finally get there, and it’s minuscule! I swear, my small-ish walk-in closet is bigger! There are three picnic tables inside, (complete with the requisite hard wood, no-back benches, another reason to say, \u201coysh,\u201d) so you’ll most likely be sitting right up close to a stranger. And, on this hot day, there was no air-conditioning! So, if you also have that sticky experience, you’ll most likely have to find someplace to shower after. Ugh. There are about five counter stools, as well. This is definitely not the place for claustrophobes, such as myself!<\/p>\n