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<\/a>Willima Hung in the center, Larry Platt on the floor, and dancers.<\/p><\/div>\n
But the appearance that made Mr. X and me both jump out of our seats, literally, was that of William Hung, chiming in on a very odd performance of the basically two-line \u201csong,\u201d Pants On The Ground<\/em>. OMG to that one.<\/p>\nI can\u2019t even muster-up enthusiasm to complain that one of the dullest duds ever just won, especially since his singing is usually just a step above brutal. I felt like the guys in Chicago (the group, not the city, though maybe them, as well) were rolling their eyes at Lee\u2019s performance of their classics. And, he has zero personality, doesn\u2019t seem too smart, and his head is as big as his body. Mr. X and I still don\u2019t get why he was even in the Top 24! I know some people like supposedly shy guys, but I really think that what many take as shyness is really a lack of anything to say. I really think the cartoon balloon over his head would be blank.<\/p>\n
Crystal Bowersox so deserved the win, but I really think she\u2019s okay with it. She was being very motherly to Lee, who barely even acknowledged that she was standing beside him, being in the same boat. All season long, Simon repeatedly announced what a nice guy Lee is, so perhaps he is, but you could never tell it from his TV appearances. And, does he know any words other than \u201camazing?\u201d It\u2019s actually amazing<\/em> how much he uses that<\/em> one!<\/p>\nOn another note, I am sorry to see Simon go. He\u2019s usually the only reason to watch the show. I was actually semi-happy to see Paula arrive on stage for the finale, until she tried her hand at over-written humor delivered so badly. Mr. X said she better not try for an acting career now. She was so not funny that you could hear the audience members\u2019 mouths hanging open as she waited for chuckles that never came. Oysh. (It was actually sort-of like the recent Fox-doctored speech of Obama\u2019s, where the network cut out the audience laughter. Only Paula\u2019s speech was live<\/em>.)<\/p>\nI don\u2019t have much more to say on the topic, except for that it was nice and interesting to see so many past contestants on the stage. I kept hoping for Adam, but I\u2019m assuming he had other commitments; I don\u2019t think he would have missed Simon\u2019s last night otherwise. (Or the producers just didn\u2019t want him there because his presence alone, before he even opened his mouth to sing, would over-shadow all the rest by a million miles.)<\/p>\n
Also, I keep thinking that they\u2019ll get the negative-but-without-charm David Foster to replace Simon next year, but it seems that I\u2019m the only one who thinks that. I hope that they do<\/em> get Harry Connick, Jr. because he\u2019s funny and knows of what he speaks. If it\u2019s Jamie Foxx, I\u2019m done with the show.<\/p>\nLike Simon Cowell and Ricky Minor are. BTW–nice send-off for the latter, eh? He\u2019s been the bandleader for all this time, and is now leaving to fill that position on Jay Leno\u2019s show, and not one mention of him in the entire 2-hour finale. Classy. Not!<\/p>\n
Salkin, Out! (On this topic, anyway.)<\/p>\n
DANCING WITH THE STARS<\/h2>\n
Yay to a fair outcome!!! Nicole Scherzinger totally deserved to win this season\u2019s Dancing With The Stars<\/em>, so most of us who know dance are thrilled that she did. I\u2019ve read some of the really not too bright comments on a couple of message boards, so I\u2019m addressing a few of those issues here, with a sprinkling of my own topics.<\/p>\nPeople keep saying that it wasn\u2019t fair that Nicole won because she had dance experience. First of all, not ballroom<\/em> dance, with it\u2019s crazy very specific rules, and secondly, she doesn\u2019t do partner dances of any<\/em> type!<\/p>\nAlso, when Kristi Yamaguchi was on this show, everyone said it wasn\u2019t fair because she\u2019s a skater<\/em>, which meant years of dance training. Now, they say that Evan<\/em> should have won because he is<\/em> a skater<\/em>! (As opposed to a dancer.) So, which is it??? I think that people just want to complain.\u00a0(And Erin studied ballet her whole life and was even on point, so that\u2019s probably even more dance training than Nicole has.)<\/p>\nI do agree, though, that the varying levels of competence wouldn\u2019t be fair in the scheme of real<\/em> dance competitions, but this is definitely not that!!! It\u2019s a TV show and those are their rules!!!<\/p>\nAnother complaint is that Derek Hough gets all the good partners. That\u2019s not true, either. He\u2019s had several bad partners, (do viewers not remember Elizabeth Shannon and Jenny Garth?) and he does well with them anyway because a)he\u2019s an unbelievable choreographer and teacher, b)he gets along with them all and doesn\u2019t create drama, false or real, and c)people vote on the professional partners as well as the supposed celebs, and Derek\u2019s one of the most popular pros. I\u2019ve met him and he\u2019s adorable, bright, interesting, and full of life rather than of himself!<\/p>\n
And he and Nicole should have gotten even higher scores in their free-style dance. Okay, they had a bobble on their big lift, but the whole dance would have started from a higher base score than the others, if this was indeed \u201cfair\u201d all the way round. And speaking of not fair, the other two pros brought in outside choreographers for their free-styles!!! How is that<\/em> fair???<\/p>\nDerek and Nicole also got screwed the week before on their \u201cera\u201d dance. (The one where they picked a decade out of a bowl and had to create their dance in the style of that era.) They actually received all 10s, but Maks should have gotten at least one point taken off his for not even attempting to conform to his era at all! He even told us that\u2019s what he was doing. He said the costumes and music will reflect his era, but not the choreography! What\u2019s the point then?! Derek almost gave himself a brain hernia trying to come up with a \u201850s paso doble! And it turned-out to be brilliant, even moreso than his usual numbers.<\/p>\n
I do think the producers created those final two dances, the ones that the public couldn\u2019t vote on, to have the judges be able to correct the possible wrongs of the public, including: people who know nothing about dance, the ones who vote just to screw up the results on purpose (like different nerd-run websites suggest,) and all the negative females who are sitting at home being jealous of Nicole. She\u2019s a perfect female: good-looking, great body, talented, and nice. (And she didn\u2019t try to make a fake romance with Derek, like so many of them do.)<\/p>\n
Speaking of possible romances, fake or otherwise, Maks said his and Erin\u2019s bed-centric free-style was the story of them<\/em>–so does that mean he admits they slept together? It\u2019s no biggie if they did–he\u2019s had flings with previous partners, and he\u2019s trying to mend his broken heart over Karina Smirnoff leaving him last year. Those<\/em> two were perfect together, and if he is<\/em> seeing Erin, which I still find hard to believe,\u00a0(even though she refers to him as \u201cmy man\u201d–gag me with a spoon,) it appears to be a rebound relationship. But different strokes for different folks, so who really cares, either way. And I always want everyone to find happiness, whether I can understand the connection or not. But with Erin\u2019s horrible voice, which as a broadcaster she really needs to work on, if that dance was a true depiction of what\u2019s going on with them, he must wear earplugs to bed.<\/p>\nSidebar: I just read that Erin said, \u201cI am one of the best at what I do\u2026\u201d meaning, at sideline reporting. She obviously doesn\u2019t watch a lot of other sports because she\u2019s actually just about the worst. And, either way, it\u2019s lovely of her to say so. Talk about being full of yourself! Ugh.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s a DWTS<\/em> question from me<\/em>: How did Kate Gosselin get any fame??? Because she birthed multiple kids??? She has no talent, is not bright or witty or fun or nice and only moderately okay-looking. And has a weird, heavy voice, with actually nothing to say. She appears to not get life in general. So, how does she now have two<\/em> shows??? For all you fairness-seekers, how about ponder that one for awhile.<\/p>\nBIGGEST LOSER<\/h2>\n
As I wrote in a previous column, I wish someone would invent Medium<\/em> Loser<\/em>, so I can go on it! Last summer, I spent an evening with some talent coordinators around town, and they asked if there\u2019s some show I\u2019d like to do, to get my television career back on track, now that I had ended my long run with Karen\u2019s Restaurant Revue<\/em>. Without hesitation, I answered Celebrity Fit Club<\/em>! I\u2019ve actually never seen it, but I knew that I couldn\u2019t get back to my most-of-my-life skinniness without a trainer. They scoffed, but I was adamant.<\/p>\nEven though I\u2019ve never been that famous, I think that most of the contestants aren\u2019t either, so I was hoping to have a shot, though I figured word would come back that I wasn\u2019t famous enough. But guess what? Word came back that I wasn\u2019t heavy<\/em> enough, rather than not famous<\/em> enough! I lived off the fumes of that happiness for several months!<\/p>\nBut, as my site states, It\u2019s Not About Me, so let\u2019s move on to this season\u2019s finale of real Biggest Loser<\/em>. I would have been satisfied with any of the three finalists winning. I was so happy that America voted to keep Daris in there, and leave Koli off. If not, Koli would have beaten Michael, by about 3%! And he was just too obnoxious. Though, in the interest of fairness, it\u2019s good that he won the home game.<\/p>\nI always applaud major achievements, and to all of the contestants, I give a true standing O. I love a show that is truly helping people, not just being an entertainment. Great job, all the way around.<\/p>\n
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