I actually had forgotten to plan to write about our anniversary this year! I had written an entirely different article for today, and then realized the date, and quickly whipped this up.

So what to say, what to say about our thousandth anniversary this time?

How we started. (Sort-of.) Photo by Paparazzi.

I don’t like ever repeating myself, but I doubt that there’s even one person out there who remembers everything I’ve ever written. Even I don’t! So I’m happy to again share one of my previous “Happy Anniversary To Us” columns, the one from exactly ten years ago. (Which means we made it through another decade! Will wonders never cease?) It features so many funny things Mr. X has said about our relationship over the years that this one is worth repeating. Here’s the link to his wonderful bon mots: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/special-day-my-1000th-anniversary-with-mr-x.

Here’s one little tidbit I never told you here before, even though I did discuss it on my TV show. Way back in the day, before we even lived together, Mr. X had a fun idea. He said, “Let’s throw a surprise wedding!” I said he can’t surprise me because, even though we all know how madly in love with him I was, (and still am,) I didn’t believe in marriage. But he said the surprise wasn’t for me—it was for the guests!!! I asked how that would work, and he said that we would invite them to a party, (which we had all the time back then,) and once there, they’d find-out we were getting married! What fun for everyone!

How it’s going. Photo by Karen Salkin.

While that would have been hilarious, I asked, “What about the presents?!” And told him I’m not getting married without receiving some much-needed bowls! (A category in which I still need some!) So, after jokingly berating me a bit for needing gifts, he came up with a brilliant idea—we’d have a “Wheel of Fortune” with the gifts we wanted, and after the ceremony, the guests would spin it to find-out what they should get us! Genius!

But then I queried, “Wait—what about our poor friends? I don’t want them to have to buy us anything.” So he came up with yet another brilliant idea. He told me that they would still spin the wheel, but then we would buy them whatever it landed on!!! Wow. What a thoughtful and ingenious idea.

For a couple of years now, I’ve regretted that I did not go along with that insane-yet-adorable plan. But I did talk about what a great idea it was on my show back then, so a few celebs copied us! Grrr.

What we definitely won’t be doing to celebrate, on any level, this year!

So how are we going to celebrate our thousandth anniversary this year, you may ask? I can confidently tell you that there will be no surprises this time. That’s because I know exactly what we’ll be doing, and it’s a combo of our choices. Mine is to stay home and continue to watch the Wimbledon tennis tourney! Duh. Mr. X’s choice is to stay home and just relax and have good food be delivered. And while doing all of that, both of us will be awaiting Lebron’s announcement, of course. We’ll be honored that he waited until our anniversary to share his new team with the world! (Go Cavs!)

So Happy Anniversary to all of us! But really just to Mr. X and me. Here’s to another thousand, my love.

Some call it our birthday, some say anniversary, and what July 4 really signifies in 2026 is that the date is 250 years since the signing of the Declaration of Independence.

So I guess it IS “anniversary.”

No matter what you label it, this Fourth of July is due to be a major party, especially because it’s on a Saturday this year!

For those of you who would prefer to stay in and avoid the crowds, (hello, Mr. X!,) there are at least a few fun things to watch on TV over the weekend. Perhaps the most interesting choice is to watch the Disney Celebrates America 250 marathon. It’s a 24-hour multi-platform broadcast which runs from tonight, Friday, July 3, at 10:00 p.m. EDT through Saturday, July 4th. I don’t remember anything like this since the turn-of-the-century all day and night televising of the New Year’s Eve celebrations around the world.

This new presentation includes performances, memories, a bit of American history lessons, and, of course, fireworks. I can’t figure-out the entire schedule, but it will all be available across ABC, Disney+, ESPN, Hulu, National Geographic, Freeform, FX, and ABC News Live. My DVR is already set to record it all on basic ABC, because, as you’ll read in a minute, I will be otherwise occupied for just about all of that historic day.  [Note: You can’t record streaming, which is just one of the reasons I hate those platforms!]

It might be fun to watch at least SOME part of it.

For sports nuts such as myself, there’s a plethora of choices. The main one for many is the World Cup. But, thank goodness for small favors, I could never get into soccer. Whew. There are also a ton of important baseball games. But, for me, it’s solely the middle weekend of the Wimbledon tennis tournament, which I’ve been watching obsessively since it began on Monday. It’s literally on for twelve hours a day, so I’m exhausted from just sitting on the couch!

And we’re all still on LeBron watch! I predict that will last all weekend, because he wouldn’t want to disturb this special holiday for everyone, including his own fam.

Not the most flattering still from my Fourth of July Parade video, but perhaps representative of it. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Do you want to stay in, but are not a fan of sports nor of round-the-clock Disney celebrations? You can always catch-up on all my YouTube videos, especially my favorite one about a “Fourth of July Parade” I went to a number of years ago. (I may or may not be going back again this weekend.) Here’s the link to that particular video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtLqXvbYNOE. And the link to my YouTube Channel in general is right here: www.youtube.com/channel/UCF7mwI2jwcB2xB9dBCBxLZg.

Now, to get serious for a moment, this is what I wrote at the end of my Fourth of July column in 2018: “I wish all of you a very happy and above all, safe, Fourth of July. And please spare a thought for how lucky we are to live in this country. Let’s all hope it gets better soon, despite an evil madman running it for a bit longer.” I had no idea that we’d still be here at this late date.

So, because of this lunatic, I was actually a tad concerned about if we normal folk are supposed to be celebrating America these days. But I realized that we can’t let the bad actors ruin our appreciation of this country for us—they’re already ruining much of the country itself. But I feel that we all have to be grateful for what we had before this regime, and hopefully will again beginning in January 2029. We all just have to hold on a bit longer and come together to get through it.

Now go celebrate this special occasion tomorrow, and all weekend. Just please stay safe out there. (And please make sure to check back here early next week to see what else I’ll be celebrating then!)

Before I discuss last week’s NBA Draft, I must first address the LeBron James news that broke yesterday. In case you didn’t hear it yet, he’s leaving the Lakers! Am I the only one who’s not shocked? He’s old, and this will most likely be his final year as a player.

Everyone’s weighing in, so here are my predictions for the future of LeBron James in basketball.  Dating back to the NBA playoffs in April, I’ve been saying that he is going to leave LA and go to…the Cavs! That’s right—the Cleveland Cavaliers. Where he’s from. I feel that he wants to end his career with his hometown and original team. And he’d be playing with a younger team than the geriatric Warriors, (which is where everyone else is predicting he’ll go.) Just sayin’.

My prediction of where LeBron is going to take his talents to!

I had also been thinking that his son Bronny would be part of any deal he makes, and that would be way more important to him than the money, for sure. But it turns-out that Bronny re-signed with the Lakers the day before LeBron told them he’s leaving, so perhaps his timing was to make sure that his son was taken care of with them despite his own act of desertion.

Lastly on the topic, I think that LeBron will become a coach, possibly for the Cavs or Lakers, after the one or two years he signs to play for next year. I just wonder if his head is spinning deciding to where he will “take his talents”as much as the brains of those of us rabid basketball fans!

A bit lost in the LeBron news is the other shock that Kawhi Leonard is leaving the LA Clippers to go back to the Toronto Raptors, with whom he won the 2019 Championship. That’s a curious turn of events, for sure.

So now, this is the deal with the NBA Draft for me this year. I was, unfortunately, in the hospital that night, and they didn’t get me up to the room that day until the Draft was just about over! And then…there was no ESPN! At tony Cedars-Sinai! Even the doctors couldn’t believe it. (That dearth meant that I wound-up just watching…all the meal menus on the television! That was actually almost as good as the Draft for me. No lie.)

So I had to resort to seeing Round One on-line. Alone. In the hospital. And I actually commented out loud enough for the nurses to hear me! And then I still watched the entire proceedings once I was home for a few days, and could get my mind together.

My favorite thing about the proceedings, as always, was watching the draftees celebrating with their families when their names were called.

On the other hand, there’s one aspect that I absolutely detest, and that is that there is usually at least one last guy waiting in the “green room,” (of sorts—it’s not really that because it has everyone sitting at tables right in front of everyone, and not behind the scenes, which is what a green room really is,) who is not chosen in the first round, and he has to be embarrassed in front of his family and everyone, and then be relegated to the next day’s Round Two. (I liked it better when they did both rounds in a row on just one night. I’m sure they thought they’d have more interest if they did not have the audience fatigue factor.) This time, there was just one guy, Isaiah Evans, still sitting there, which is just heartbreaking. And he was already in all the pix of the “2026 Draft Class.” I’m sick for him. The entire attitude of the room went from upbeat to devastatingly sad in about one hour. I feel awful that he didn’t come back for the second round after his disappointment. Shame. And he got picked second in that round, so he would have been happy!

The good news is that I believe that no one was left sitting there at the end of the two days.

But on that tip, OKC stalwart Alex Caruso needs to speak to every college player in the world!!! He went undrafted, and has since won…two NBA Championships. And as an important contributor, not a benchwarmer! So the guys who were not drafted, whether or not they were invited to the proceedings, should learn from his example. Just put your head down and work as hard as you can, and do your absolute best. And I add—have fun.

Three members of the NCAA Champion Michigan team got drafted in the first round! (L-R) Morez Johnson, Jr., Yaxel Lendeborg, and Aday Mara. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Now to the newest members of the NBA: Every single one of them seems darling, which is not always the case in the Draft. I was a blubbering mess the entire time! Some got to me more than others, but they all did at least a bit. Especially when adores pix of them as kids were flashed on the screen! I wish I had the time and space to write about every single one of the draftees, and their fams, but I’m watching a dozen hours of tennis a day right now, so I’ll just give you some of the highlights for me.

I was especially happy for a few of the guys with whom I’m the most familiar. New college champion, (with Michigan,) Yaxel Lendeborg, (who has the most heartwarming personal story,) is going to the Warriors, so I guess I have to stop hating them now. And Iowa’s Bennett Stirtz is going to none other than last year’s NBA Champions, OKC!!!  And UConn’s Alex Karaban, who wasn’t even one of the twenty-four first night invitees, went #29 to the Sacramento Kings, who can really use him. I was honestly worried that he wasn’t going to be drafted because he actually graduated college, while most of the rest left after only one year! And he won not one but two NCAA Championships with them. I’m also happy for the teams that were lucky enough to get these young (and I do mean young,) men.

It was very smart of Cameron Boozer’s twin, Cayden, to stay in school, (Duke,) at least one more year, mainly so he can develop further, but also, (which most others will not mention,) so he won’t have to compete with his bro. But I love their State Farm commercial together!!! And I love that Cayden was at the Draft for him. [Note: I always wanted a twin sister. Always. Until now, that is. I just wanted to have a friend around 24/7 who’s as fun as I am. And, truth be told, I wanted to see what my face really looks like, not just in a mirror. But it never before hit me before that perhaps we would wind-up with different levels of success, which might irk me a bit. So I actually thank the Boozers for finally knocking the pain of not having a twin out of me.]

The Boozer fam. Cameron is in the front, in white, and Cayden is on the right in the back. Note the very uncomfortable seats! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Some guys made me cry, especially Yaxel and Cameron, who both wore white suits and got the most cheers when the invited two dozen were introduced.

Now I’m going in the order that the Draft itself did:

AJ Dybantsa’s very proud dad. Photo by Karen Salkin.

#1 AJ Dybantsa seems sweet. And Mr. X and I loved his outfit. But his very-bitten fingernails made me queasy!

Darryn Peterson looked so goony in his pic with the commish, after his dreads just about popped his new team the cap off. Mr. X said, “He’s practically Alfred E. Newman!”

I hate the director of the ESPN show for totally depriving me of seeing Cameron Boozer embrace his twin who showed up there for him! Grrr.

Caleb Wilson’s dad told us that his son already helps out his Atlanta community, which choked me up, of course. But the dad used a triple redundancy by saying that Caleb has “genuine true authenticity.”

#5 Keaton Wagler’s parents are the most attractive! And they’re a charming family. Good for them!

How is Mikel Brown, Jr.’s father named Christopher instead of Mikel??? How is the son a “Jr.” if he does not have the same name as his dad??? I mean it. Please, someone explain that to me.

Kingston Flemings had written a letter to all the GMs that very day!!!

I absolutely adore that new Dallas Mavericks coach, Dusty May, got one of his own Michigan guys, Morez Johnson, Jr.! I predict great things for the Mavs next season.

I love all the shiny logos on  the caps that made them special ones.

I feel bad for #10 Brayden Burries, the guy who’s going to the Bucks. He’ll be one of five strangers who will be on that once-great team next year. Wait—make that six strangers because they also got pick #13. (And they have the youngest looking war room I’ve ever seen!!!)

Emotional Yale Lendeborg and his mom. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Yaxel and his mom are the best story! It’s too long to tell her, so I suggest you look it up when you have time and want your heart warmed.

I got really into Nate Ament’s family!

There are two really interesting things about #21 Karim Lopez. He’s the first Mexican 1st round draftee, and will play his entire rookie season at age 19! (He doesn’t turn 20 next April 12th.)

Chris Cenac, Jr. went 27th, thank goodness. He was still trying not to cry when he took his pic with the commish.

Mr. X liked that #31 Bruce Thornton said, “I’m built for the moment.”

How does Spaniard Baba Miller have no accent??? At all.

They saved the absolute most charming, best personality (by far) guy, Ugonna Onysenso, for last. He seemed honestly surprised when he got chosen, and declared, “I wasn’t expecting it!”

If you want to see the list of all sixty 2026 draftees, just click here: www.nba.com/news/2026-nba-draft-order.

And a few last notes on the other aspects of the proceedings:

At least they did Round Two in the same place, Barclays Center, as Round One this year. That nonsense of moving it into a small room in a studio two years ago was just insulting.  (I missed last year’s Draft because, as usual, I was overbooked on those two nights. But at least the league obviously  listened to my complaints after the 2024 rendition.)

ESPN Draft Night host Malika Andrews is so good at this! I love that she always sneaks in little tidbits about the draftees’ lives, as I would do in that position. And once again I laud her great enunciation.

And newcomer to the analysts’ panel, Iman Shumpert, was surprisingly good. (It doesn’t hurt that he sounds like Barry White! I kept expecting him to break into Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe at any second!) I knew he could dance, because I voted for him to win Dancing With The Stars, (which he did.) I even implored all my readers to do so, as well. (You can still read that 2021 plea here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/televisiondancekarens-rants-please-vote-for-iman-shumpert-and-daniella-karagach-on-dancing-with-the-stars-tonight-and-every-monday-night.) But I did not know that he would work as well as a basketball commentator, even though he won the 2016 Championship with my Cleveland Cavaliers!

The Round One ESPN commentators, with host Malika Andrews on the left. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The couches on the set where the new guys and their families were interviewed looked sooooo uncomfortable! No one knew how to sit on them properly.

But Lisa Salters, the interviewer, was much better at them than many others in the past. But she left Cayden Boozer entirely out of the interviews with the rest of the fam, which made me so sad. He was even ready with the microphone.

To wrap-up, I can’t wait to see where all these guys actually land next season. And for the rest of their careers, which I hope are long and successful.

Now it’s back to wondering about LeBron, and trying to figure-out why Kawhi Leonard chose to return to his old team, the Toronto Raptors, after he left them to come home to the LA Clippers all those years ago. But I’ll do it all after Wimbledon.

Throughout each year, I attend several events at the Hollywood Museum. Most of them are for the purpose of introducing a new exhibit. And they’re all fabulous.

But on a few special occasions, the equally lovely fetes are right in the lobby. And I recently went to one of those. It was to celebrate the release of a new book, A Letter is Better! The Art of Thank You, written by Erica Gerard Di Bona, who is known to be a constant letter writer. If her last name is familiar, that’s most likely because you’ve seen it on your TV a zillion times—her husband is prolific television producer Vin Di Bona, who created America’s Funniest Home Videos, and has produced a myriad of other shows.

(L-R) Erica Gerard Di Bona, Vin Di Bona, and Karen Salkin. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I love a supportive man, so Vin is right up there with Carl Reiner, who was always so proud of the singing of his wife Estelle, and of course, the most supportive guy ever, Mr. X, who not only came to most of my TV show tapings, but is actually the person who created my cable series, Karen’s Restaurant Revue! (And then, as I was about to go through the curtain for my first appearance on The Tonight Show, he got to sarcastically say, “Yeah, Kah, you were right—doing a cable show was a bad idea.”)

And Vin Di Bona and I have a mutual very dear friend, Paul Gilbert, so I really wanted to meet Vin, especially after Paul told me that he’s a “great guy.” And he was absolutely lovely. It’s always fun, (and a bit rare,) to meet an uber-successful person who’s also very nice. So Vin was the highlight of the event for me. (And he told me that he had just been talking about Paul that day!)

But the entire event was good, right from the get-go, as it always is at the Hollywood Museum. There was a makeshift bar on one side of the space, with nice bartenders, and a pretty buffet set-up on the opposite end of the lobby. The fare was different than any I’ve ever seen there before, which was fun because I’m a fan of diversity. There were three kinds of finger sandwiches, caprese bites, (with a choice of tomatoes or blackberries on the skewers with the mozzarella chunks,) tiny onion tarts, and a whole bunch of delish desserts. I’m either ashamed or proud to admit that I ate a handful of mini strawberry shortcakes in cups! The pièces de résistance were bite-sized cranberry scones. (My friend Roz said, “The cookies are hard,” so I explained, “That’s because they’re scones!”)

Just a bit of the fare. Photo by Karen Salkin.

There was a plethora of speeches from the happy assemblage, including E.T.’s Dee Wallace and Hollywood Museum Founder Donelle Dadigan. I was the most entertained by artist Shepard Fairey, (whose credits include designing that famous Obama “Hope” poster.) He said that he and Erica had met on the Board of Trustees at The Rhode Island School of Design, (RISD,) where he went to college. I actually love that place, having gone to both the University of Rhode Island and Rhode Island College. I used to drive by RISD, and think about all the gifted artists who must be behind those walls! (I love having things in common with talented people. For example, Vin also lived in Rhode Island, and he and I both attended UCLA, as did Mr. X, also in the Master of Fine Arts program some time after Vin. And yes, I did go to all three of those colleges, and even one more!)

The gist of the many tributes was that Erica writes wonderful “thank you” letters, and the recipients are so lucky. Erica herself quipped that “a letter is so much better than anything.” She told us that she doesn’t start her letters with “thank you,” preferring to end with it. (But I do both!) I was happy that she and I agree on the usage of exclamation points when others say no to them! (See?)

Hollywood Museum Founder Donelle Dadigan at the podium to begin the speeches. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I also appreciated that she said to write a letter “on anything” and “in any method that you can.” Erica and my mother would have gotten along great because the latter used to write her missives on the backs of paper placemats from the restaurants my parents ate in while traveling! One of her old pals still mentions how much he always loved receiving those.

My favorite quote of the night came from Vin. About the sound of his wife’s typing, he said, “It’s like hearing children laugh in a playground.” What an absolutely charming and loving way to put it.

When the speeches were over, guests could purchase the books, and Erica signed them all in the “Blondes Only Room.” (The hair color rooms, which are my fave part of the Museum, date back to when the building was the Max Factor Salon. I featured them on a television special I hosted on The Travel Channel way back in the day, and have adored them ever since.)

Photo by Karen Salkin.

I got a gander at one of the books, and found it to be very interesting. And it’s not a little coffee table book—it has sooo much substance! There’s even a section for “Young People,” complete with advice on “How to Address an Envelope!” I love life lessons that we might think are basic, but are far from it these days.

I also love that “Thank You” is mentioned right in the title, A Letter is Better! The Art of Thank You, because I’m a stickler for saying that phrase! I actually just thanked a PR person for always thanking me for my reviews. My mother used to semi make fun of my signature, “Thank you so much!,” but I mean it every time.

Speaking of my little mo, (which I do a lot,) I have to say that, as a supreme letter-writer herself, she would have really liked Erica’s book. And she would have enjoyed her collection of typewriters, as well. I’m now the proud owner of my parents’ vintage one, so perhaps I should show it to Erica sometime. I should also pick her brain about how to put a good book together because I’ve been finding some of my mom’s letters around my house recently, and they are a riot! One in particular has become famous among my friends, and it’s been suggested many times that I should publish a book of them so more people can laugh until they cry.

Apropos of Erica’s book about saying “Thank You, “I’ll leave you with this little poem that I used to recite with my young students when I was a teacher. (See if you can spot the big mistake in it.):

“Hearts like doors will ope with ease
To two little words, and the words are these:
Thank you, sir, and if you please.”

Do you see the mistake? Those are six words, not two! I didn’t write it, of course, because in addition to always expressing gratitude, I can also count! But I do very much believe in the sentiment. I know that Erica Gerard Di Bona does, as well. I just wish that everyone did.

My sports-loving self is so happy that the annual summer Wimbledon tennis tournament begins on Monday! Basketball is over for the season, (I’ll delve into this week’s NBA draft next week,) and shockingly…I am not into the World Cup! Soccer is one of the few sports I just cannot get into. Thankfully so, because sports-watching already takes up enough of my time, so I don’t need any more than I’m already interested in.

I always want the Wimbledon towels.

And a lot has been happening in the tennis world since I last wrote about this sport in September. There are a lot of promising newcomers, top guy Carlos Alcaraz is injured and is therefore sitting out for the second Major in a row, and creepy Serena Williams is back, (playing doubles and, in a recent surprise, singles, as well, and, I’m sure, doing so to advertise show-off her Ozempic—or whichever drug she’s taking—weight loss, which she denied for a long time, until she could make money off it!) Even though I can’t stand her, this is the biggest news in the tennis world since someone beat Sabalenka last month!

Before I get off the Serena tip, I have one more catty fun comment on the situation. Because I write about sports so often, many official oddsmakers include me in their missives. So I see a lot of odds in many categories. For example: who will be rookie of the year, what players will be traded and to whom, which teams will win championships the next year, etc. But the most interesting one that I’ve ever received is this one from last week: “What will be Serena Williams’ playing weight at Wimbledon? Over/Under 160 pounds.”

That so cracked me up! Mr. X still can’t get over that in her playing days, when she was clearly close to 200 pounds, she had her weight listed as…a mere 135! He still mentions it when he sees her.

Serena Williams SINCE she’s lost weight! Oysh.

But the rest of the ladies must be quaking in their boots right about now. Since she’s entering as a Wild Card, because she longer has her old-time seeded player status, anyone can be unfortunate to play her in the first round! Anyone!!! That includes even World #1 Aryna Sabalenka! And all of today’s top players, including defending Wimbledon Champion Iga Świątek. So that might be an interesting wrinkle to this usually drama-free tourney.

As to the rest of Wimbledon 2026, perhaps most interestingly, the French Open a couple of weeks ago wound-up with not one, but both first-time Major Champions!!! On the men’s side, #1 Jannik Sinner and #3 Novak Djokovic both were defeated in…the second round!!! #2 Sasha Zverev took advantage, stayed the course, and after losing his first three Major finals over the years, he finally won one. I’m so happy for him.

New first-time French Open Champs, Mirra Andreeva and Jannik Sinner.

The jury is out on my happiness for the women’s winner, young Mirra Andreeva. I’ve seen her be sort-of sweet when she started out, but in recent times, I’ve seen her be a bit nasty.

Mr. X asked me who my top players are now. He knows I’ve never had the same love of the sport since The Stranger I Love Most, Roger Federer, retired. I do sort-of always root for Carlos in Roger’s stead, but he’s out this year. So, even though I have a feeling that Matteo Berrettini will never win a Major, he’s been my guy for several years now, shallowly, I admit, because of his extreme beauty. But the powers-that-be at these tournaments must be jealous of him because they rarely show his matches, (on normal TV—all the matches are available to stream,) unless he makes it so far that they must! Shame.

Just one pic of gorgeous Matteo Berrettini. I’m grateful for the opportunity to research so many images of this man’s beautiful face!

On the Ladies’ side, I have been rooting mainly for Elina Svitolina for several years because A) she’s a really good person, B) she’s Ukrainian, and I would like that country to have every little bit of happiness, and C) I adore her hilarious husband, Gael Monfils, and I always want him to be happy. Outside of Elina, I’ve rooted for Aryna Sabalenka for a few years because she’s so entertaining, both on and off the court. But there are several girls I wouldn’t mind if they won, as well. As long as Serena Williams does not.

No matter what happens, I will be watching it all. And, of course, I plan to tweet about the goings-on as much as I can, so please follow me @MajorCelebrity now if you don’t already. I’ll also do a full wrap-up when it’s all over.

But most of all, I can’t wait for the Finals to savor my yearly Breakfast at Wimbledon strawberries and cream. Yu-um!

So far, the upcoming season of Dancing With the Stars should be subtitled “A trio of nobodies and Guillermo!” That’s right—I’m jumping right into the only good news so far. And that is that Jimmy Kimmel’s adorable and genuine sidekick, Guillermo Rodriguez, will compete on the show in September. And…he can actually dance! Or he at least has rhythm.

Guillermo Rodriguez getting ready to rumba!

Since the best dancer rarely wins, and popularity matters most in votes, Guillermo has a great chance of winning. (And he actually may turn out to be the best dancer! He will at least be the most charming.)

I’m for sure voting for him. Just when I planned to not watch this nonsense anymore, they had to do this to me. I think they booked him now in case Orange Hitler succeeds in his vendetta to get Jimmy off the air, resulting in Guillermo not being relevant anymore. He’s so cute and entertaining, but I hope he’s been investing his money because I don’t see many other job ops for him if that show is ever over.

Before Guillermo, the first two people the show booked this season are nobodies, (named Ciara Miller and Maura Higgins,) who I believe I read are from reality shows, but I prefer to not use any of my time to research them. Shortly after that, Savannah Bananas player Jackson Olson was announced. They may possibly all be nice people, they may be fun, and they may even be able to dance. But, as much as I enjoy the Savannah Bananas on occasion, they’re all very far from being “stars!!!”

And it was waaaay too early for the producers to choose anyone—those three have the gargantuan advantage of an extra six months of learning how to dance!!! That’s so unfair to the competitors who will come later. (So note to all nobodies everywhere: Start practicing now because you’ll have the best chance of being one of the new chosen ones down the line.)

(Center, L-R) Mark Ballas, Robert Irwin, Shirley Ballas.

While all this nonsense is not beginning again until September, (by what time I should be even more riled-up about the complete lack of celebs,) their new spinoff show, Dancing with the Stars: The Next Pro, will be happening in a matter of weeks!

The official description of that series is that it “features twelve exceptional up-and-coming dancers who move into one house and compete in a grueling audition process, all vying for a coveted spot as a pro dancer” on the new season of the regular show. But that all means the winner of this one will look lesser than his fellow pros on the real show. The situation will truly be that they just won a competition his-or-her-self, not that they got hired by DWTS because they’re someone who’s successful in their field of ballroom dancing, even though they may be really be that! Shame. (The only good thing about this spinoff is that dance fans will be made aware of a dozen good dancers as opposed to just one.)

Karen Salkin and Mark Ballas a few years ago. Photo by Jeanine Anderson.

More weirdness is that, since it’s already been completely shot, the public can’t vote for their favorite contestants. And there are only two full-time judges—mother-and-son duo, Mark and Shirley Ballas. But at least there will be guest ones. And mentors, even though it’s sort-of insulting to imply that these contestants need any—they’re all pros, not amateurs! They don’t need mentors at this stage of their careers, although the show will make them act like they’re sooo grateful for the help. Oysh.

Karen Salkin and Shirley Ballas a few years ago. Photo by Robyn Shreiber.

Case in point, one of the competitors, Alex Joseph Pritchard, was even already a pro on Britain’s Strictly Come Dancing for three years! And because of that, he was also on that country’s I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here and Celebrity Chef! So, he’s a pro on the original and a celeb, so why in the world would he have to audition for this one?! That’s just nuts! He’s already a celebrity in England, while all of the dancers who became pros on DWTS, from the very beginning and over the years, were unknowns here. They all had to audition, of course, but in private, not in front of the world on a judged TV show. And they definitely did not have to live together while doing so!!! It’s all so ridiculous.

The only really good thing about The Next Pro is that the host is Robert Irwin, the adorable Aussie wildlife conservationist who deservedly won DWTS last season. Mr. X and I, (along with everyone else in the world,) love him, so that spot of happiness will be nice. I just realized—that must be why the show was taped in Australia! To accommodate young Robert. So good on ya, mate.

What a weird and entertaining NBA Play-offs we were treated to this year! I’m literally exhausted from it.

Of course, I had very many thoughts as the competitions went along. I tweeted many of them during the proceedings, so you can still read those there, @MajorCelebrity, because I have so much else to say that I’m repeating very few of them here.

The Champions.

First of all, I must congratulate the Knicks. Along with most of the rest of the world, I absolutely did not see their Championship coming. My two teams were the Cleveland Cavaliers, (because I love Donovan Mitchell so much,) and the Denver Nuggets, (because I admire them all, even though their coach is the image of Gollum!)

I have to admit that I did not root for the Knicks this postseason, at all. I have nothing against the team—it’s their uber-rude fans I can’t stand! I hate that many of them travel to different cities for the play-offs, which ruins everything for the other home teams and their fans. And some of their celebrities who cheer for the Knicks are too “extra.” And what the heck was creepy full-of-herself Taylor Swift doing there?! She’s not from New York, does not really live there, (she does own a place there, but that’s along with another seven or so abodes around the country, among which she divides her time,) and her boyfriend is a fan of the Cavs! So own could surmise that she showed up to a Finals game for her own aggrandizement.

Mr. X gets annoyed with me for not rooting the Knicks, even though I’m a New Yorker, but I choose my team each year based on their personnel. I like the guys on the Kinks, except for Jose Alvarado, but none of them get to my heart, except for Karl-Anthony Towns, in a bit of a way. My heart always breaks for him because he lost his beloved mother, along with at least six other relatives, to Covid. I cry just about every time I hear him speak.

And, I am happy for the Knicks on a few levels, especially because they deserved the victory. They really buckled down and came back several times for their wins. Some of their comebacks, most notably the one from twenty-nine points down to the Spurs, were truly amazing. They came back in every game of the Finals except the third, which is the one they lost to the Spurs. Their entire playoffs was one of the most impressive runs in history!

How much do I love all those colored sneakers?! Photo by Karen Salkin, as is the one at the top of this page.

But I still don’t know how they did it. They were a very different team in the playoffs than they were during the regular season. The whole thing boggles my mind. The defending champs Oklahoma City Thunder were the best team in the NBA all season! They won sixty-four games, which is amazing! But then the up-and-coming, very young, second-place-in-the-West, (and in the entire league, actually,) San Antonio Spurs came up with sixty-two wins! That was also amazing. And the lowly Knicks were back in third place in the East, and sixth place overall, with only fifty-three wins! So no one, not even Spike Lee, expected this level of greatness from them.

Well, perhaps handsome former Villanova coach Jay Wright saw it coming for a few years. That’s because he coached now-Knicks Jalen Brunson, Josh Hart, and Mikal Bridges in college, and won two Championships (in 2016 and 2018) with a combo of them! (Josh Hart left for the NBA before the second victory.) So, I’m very happy for Jay, too—he taught his college men well!

Just look at the parity in the sport over the last eight years! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Two last thoughts on these players. One is that Jalen Brunson wasn’t drafted until the second round, so that means that no one thought he’d become as good as he is. He just won MVP of the NBA Finals, for goodness sake! Not only that late number pick by the Dallas Mavericks, but it was done so that Jalen would be the back-up to star player Luka Dončić, and not be a starter himself! And then they traded Brunson to the Knicks. And then a few years later, the idiot in charge of these things for the Mavs, Nico Harrison, traded Luka away, too! (For the already-ineffective, always-injured, and in-the-twilight-of-his-ball-playing years Anthony Davis!!!) Boy, was that Dallas exec a jerk to get rid of them both! (He did finally get fired this year, thank goodness.)

The other thing is one that sort-of tickles me—Knicks player Jermey Sochan would have received a Championship even if the Spurs had won! Can you guess why? Ready? It’s because he was a Spur for the first half of the season before they waived him and he was picked-up by the Knicks. And he played exactly three minutes and eight seconds in the Finals. Good deal for him.

And now here are some of my musings on the rest of the play-offs:

Note the baby. Photo by Karen Salkin.

This one is for the fans: How stupid do you have to be to have your baby be in the front row!!! And especially with no headphones to shield them from the noise! If a ball or player hits the baby, it can very possibly result in instant brain damage, if not death. If you can afford floor seats, you can afford a babysitter!!! Idiots. The league should protect the children if their self-absorbed parents won’t. They need to make a rule “No Babies In The Front Row!!!”

All the sideline reporters ask the stupidest, most pat questions.

In Game 4 of the Cleveland vs. Toronto series, Mr. X insisted that it could not be the halftime, (as opposed to after one quarter of the game,) because both teams’ scores were in the 30s, which is very low!

My favorite player, (tied with Luka Doncic,) Donovan Mitchell.

Mr. X asked for whom I’m rooting in the playoffs. My answer was, “Whatever team Donovan Mitchell is on is the one I root for.” And nothing has changed since then.

Something hit me in the middle of the first round—I’ve got to give the foreign-born players tons of credit for speaking English so well! Philadelphia 76er star Joel Embid especially—he gave one of the best, most thoughtful answers in Game 5 of the first round. Really.

Occasional color commentator PJ Carlissimo kept calling Donovan Mitchell “Dun”ovan! It’s “Don,” you idiot! Don’t you know the difference between “o” and “u” sounds???

At one point in an earlier play-off game, the Knicks were up fifty points with 5:15 to go in the 2nd!!! What was going on there???

Josh Hart doing a booze commercial! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Even though I like Knicks star Josh Hart, I feel that pro athletes should not be doing ads for alcohol! It sends an awful message to young people, who will think he looks cool drinking it, so they will want to emulate him. In reality, it’s definitely uncool! (On a side note, his three-year-old twin sons are adorable!!!)

At one point, Kenny Smith said, “The conversations he and I had last week…,” about Shaq and him. I love that he didn’t say the illiterate, “me and him,” as so many morons people do these days.

I was, (and still am!,) appalled by how rude the Mayor of San Antonio, Gina Ortiz Jones, was to Charles Barkley on Inside The NBA! He sometimes jokes around about the “big ole women” in that city, so when Ortiz appeared on their show as a guest, the first thing she said was, “I learned a long time ago you can’t teach courage, you can’t teach class, and Mr. Barkley reminds us of that.” How downright rude of her! (And what did courage have to do with anything?!) But Chuck handled it so well. Jones proved that she’s the one with no class.

(L-R) San Antonio Mayor, Shaquille O’Neal, Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, and Charles Barkley. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Play-by-play guy Mike Breen said that the games are “broadcasted!” As a very long-time broadcaster, how does he not know the word is just “broadcast” with no added “ed”???”

Enunciator Extraordinaire Malika Andrews. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I love ESPN’s sideline reporter Malika Andrews. Besides that she’s adorable and gives excellent reports, there is no one on earth, not even my own literate self, who enunciates as perfectly as she does!!! We never need the captions to know what she’s saying.

Now I’m moving on to the NBA Draft next week. At this point, there’s much drama and intrigue expected. And I’ve already begun watching every Yankees game that I can. And to that end, I’m going to keep an eye on the MLB Draft for the first time in…ever! And that’s because I recently became aware of Georgia Tech player, Vahn Lackey, who actually played all eight positions, (outside of pitcher,) in a game on March 10th! That’s unheard of. So now I’m rooting for him to go first. And, of course, Wimbledon starts in a week and a half.

So, in other words, there will still be plenty of opportunities for me to be hurt by sports other than basketball. Bite my tongue, but just calling it like I see it.

What an unexpected fabulous experience I had last month! It was so special that I have to go in the order that this adventure happened.

Ronnie Hazel, Jr. and Karen Salkin. Photo by Providence staff.

Some of you may remember over the years that I’ve mentioned my second favorite person in the world, (after Mr. X, of course,) Ronnie Hazel, Jr. I’ve known him since he was born, and have adored him always. (He’s basically my sort-of nephew.) But when he was five, we became besties. Ronnie spent his eleventh and twelfth summers in LA with Mr. X and me. (He’s from Providence, Rhode Island, and I consider his entire family to also be somewhat my own.)

I’ve been taking him to restaurants since he was two, and in those two “Summers of Ronnie” out here, he was even a special guest critic on my show. He’s actually always known food.

Then, when he was nineteen, he met me in New York for the International Restaurant & Foodservice show at the Javits Center. My friends and I have attended many Restaurant Shows there and here in LA, and all of us care about mainly the food. But even though he was young, Ronnie pointed-out other things on display, such as the cutlery and plates! Wow. At one point in life, he wanted to become a chef. (He cooked a steak for me when he was six!)

The special and colorful Uni Egg, (the only time you’ll see the e-word written-out in this e-zine!) It’s on the menu of auxiliary choices, and is served in a decorative cup that Ronnie says looks like a pelican foot! Photo by Ronnie Hazel, Jr.

So, even though we kept in a modicum of touch over the years, I haven’t been back to the east coast in quite a while, and he hasn’t been out here, so we hadn’t seen each other in several years until a year ago, when he finally came out to LA for a weekend. But he got sick right away, so we missed our plans, and got to see each other for just an hour before he left. I felt like a gourmet to simply introduce him to the favorite sandwiches of all my visitors. (I’m sure regular readers know it’s Ike’s.)

As he’s grown-up, he’s become something of a world traveler, and has gone waaay beyond me in his foodie-ness. He’s obsessed with Michelin-starred restaurants while I’m obsessed with cute places.

He was out here recently for only a weekend, and wrote to me a week before to see if I was free on Saturday night, which I was, of course, for him. He did all the planning, and was taking me someplace secret, so he asked me for my food allergies and dislikes. When he saw my massive list, he semi-jokingly told me that I was going to be hungry, but that we were still going.

I had no idea what was ahead of me, even when he told me it was on Melrose near Highland, and to dress up. I was actually worried that it might be a tasting menu eatery, and since I’m the pickiest eater ever, I never go to those.

Just a small part of the classy interior of Providence. Photo by Karen Salkin, as is the one on the top of this review.

So, when we pulled up to the twenty-one-year-old uber-classy Providence, I was a mix of excited and trepidatious. (We were there exactly one month and one day before its twenty-first anniversary!)

But we were put at ease right away, before we even entered the premises, when an employee saw us taking pix out front, and he came out to take them for us! He even suggested that we take them in front of a different section of the exterior.

Actually, the entire staff of Providence is the nicest personnel I’ve ever met outside of my favorite ever, iconic LA maitre d’ Dmitri Dmitrov, (now of the Tower Bar.) I honestly haven’t seen service like this since Dmitri led the team at the late Diagliev at the former Bel-Age (now London) Hotel! I regret that I didn’t get the name of every last person we met at Providence, but chief among them were our main server, my fellow Brooklynite Bobby, and our secondary guy, Nik, who’s fluent in at least three languages! Manager Sara even helped us out a bit, and we wrapped-up the evening with Julian at the greeter’s stand. Julian even invited us into the kitchen at the end of the night to see how it all worked. (As you might imagine, kitchens are not my thing, but Ronnie loved it!)

The Providence menu. Photo by Karen Salkin.

As you know, kindness and personality mean more to me than food, but this seafood-centric menu is basically a masterpiece.

So here’s where that kindness comes in even more. I was going to go with the flow for once, and just keep giving Ronnie my food to eat along with his own. It’s a set tasting menu, and there was not one thing on it that I eat! Nada. It might not have mattered because each “dish” was minuscule. Seriously, just about all of them were one-biters. But all gorgeous! (More on the presentation in a minute.)

Bobby inquired about food preferences right at the top. Ronnie being a pescatarian, and a gourmet, he was fine with it all. I told them to not worry about me, but Bobby told me to not worry—they’d come up with items for me. Which they did. In spades!!!

The courses seemed never-ending. And they were all gorgeous. And all the ones that I did eat were actually delish. And each one was accompanied by different plates and flatware. Ronnie had a flight of non-alcoholic drinks, and all of them came in different glassware, as well.

Each bite had several different ingredients, often unusual ones, so I can’t really tell you what I ate because they were made specially for me. But, in the midst of all the exoticness, I was surprised to see a…bread course! And I loved it! It actually came with my favorite detail of the entire experience—a tiny wooden “shovel,” which looked like a matchstick, to take special salt out of a little trench to put on the butter. I loved that presentation. (I’m still sick that I didn’t ask to take it with me because it’s something they have to throw out, not wash.) But all the accouterments were attractive and creative. I have no idea how anyone came up with so many different presentations.

The bread course, complete with an info card and…that adorbs little salt “shovel!” Photo by Karen Salkin.

Since we were starting at 5:30PM, Ronnie had told me we should be done around 8. As our time at Providence flew by, I finally noticed the little window at the top of the dining room wall, and saw that it was totally dark out! So I looked at the time, and…it was 10:30PM! And we weren’t finished yet! I told Bobby and Sara that they need to turn the place into a Bed & Breakfast because I could have used a pillow and nap right about then.

The very last course was dessert, of course, which, also of course, was my favorite, especially because most of the components were chocolate. There was a small ice cream situation, and then a trio of tiny bites—a chocolate macaron, a blueberry tart, and a sticky white thing with sticks. (Good description, right?) And chocolate tea accompanied it, with a substance that looked like honey but was chocolate “simple syrup.”

The dessert course. Photo by Karen Salkin.

And you know what—I was actually very stuffed by the end!

And then they brought us…candy bars! Made of their signature Peruvian chocolate. I swear—I was sure that pillow would be next because they had thought of everything else.

The beautiful chocolate bar. Photo by Ronnie Hazel, Jr.

I think the only thing we missed doing that night was seeing their herb garden on the roof. (Bobby showed us a book about it, but I didn’t think to ask to pay it a visit.)

I told some of the servers that Ronnie and I met in Providence, Rhode Island, and then I immediately added that it was when he was born because he’s my fake nephew, so that nobody would think that it was a Joan Collins situation! But I wanted them to know our connection to their establishment’s moniker.

And guess where the chef and co-owner of Providence, Michael Cimarusti, is from? Ready? Philadelphia. Just joking. Providence, of course! I wish I had realized it that night, so we could have asked to meet him. I’m sure we’d have a lot of Rhode Island things, especially foods, to discuss.

By the way, the third usage of Providence for me that night fits several of its definitions. It was “fate, destiny, luck, or divine care” for us to wind-up at that eatery, and Ronnie’s “foresight, prudence, forethought” to get us there. So it was truly providence that we Providence peeps wound-up at Providence that night! I’m sure that we will never forget the experience, and I have a feeling that neither will anyone who worked there that evening! I may quite possibly have worn them out. They’re all hoping that I don’t show-up there for another twenty-one years!

This is more an homage to LA’s premiere dance company, BodyTraffic, than it is a review of their farewell performance. Even as the latter, it’s an all-positive one.

Photo by Karen Salkin, (as is the one above,) of part of BodyTraffic’s farewell pre-show video.

Before I left for the Wallis to see their Los Angeles swan song last Saturday, I texted someone, “Will you be there today? I’ll bring the tissues.” And thank goodness I did. (Bring the tissues, not text the guy.) The entire presentation was sooo emotional.

I don’t know the reasons for BodyTraffic to be closing after twenty years, but, of course, along with their many fans, I wish it weren’t so. However, since it is the reality, I wish the best of luck going forward to everybody involved, especially these amazing dancers. It would be a shame if they didn’t all get other gigs right away. As I always declare, dancers are the most talented of all artists, yet they have the fewest opportunities. I just hate that situation!

Tina Finkelman Berkett, in the video. Photo by Karen Salkin.

But let’s not get negative. Let’s focus on BodyTraffic’s last ever performance at the Wallis in Beverly Hills, which it appears, (from brief messages the company members shared that day, which I’ll elaborate on in a moment,) they consider to be their “home.”

I truly cannot imagine better dancers than this group, so I have to name them all: Husband-and-wife duo Joan Rodriguez and Katie García, her sister Becky Garcia, Brenan Gonzalez, Jordyn Santiago, Pedro Garcia, Grecia Cruz, and, of course, my all-time favorite dancer, Chandler Davidson.

Actually, all the dancers are so excellent that my eyes didn’t even single Chandler out until he did one leap in the first number that made me gasp out loud and gave me chills. From that one move! And then I realized just whom I was admiring. Even if I hadn’t already been in love with his dancing, I would be now. He knocked my socks off once again.

I really don’t know how to convey his magnificence to you, but part of it is that Chandler dances sooo much bigger than his body. While I’m watching him perform, I always perceive him as a giant, and then I saw this little skinny guy in their video, and I’m impressed on a whole other level.

Chandler Davidson and Jordyn Santiago thanking a different Karen, of course. (But I’m taking the thanks, anyway, for all my positive reviews!) Photo by Karen Salkin.

Now, let me tell you about said video. For about fifteen minutes before the show began, as we were taking our seats, there was a silent video playing on the giant screen on stage. It was of BodyTraffic’s Artistic Director and Co-Founder, Tina Finkelman Berkett, and the eight dancers, taking turns sitting on a bench and displaying cards with people they’re thanking for support over the past two decades. Occasionally we’d see one or two of them together, or hugging as they switched places, and always smiling. It was all so beautiful that I wished I had gotten into my seat even earlier.

Each of the three performances at the Wallis last weekend featured a couple of shared programs along with one or two different ones. If I had not been booked elsewhere on two of those dates, I would have loved to attend all three performances. But I got extra-lucky with the one I chose because the first number, Blue Until June, choreographed by Trey McIntyre, with music by Etta James, is one I had never seen before, and it was incredible.

The Blue Until June curtain call. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The second number, Shared Ground, was also new to me, and I adored it! Most of it was danced to my favorite piece of classical music ever, Ravel’s Bolero. It’s what British figure skaters Torvill and Dean skated to for their iconic Olympics performance that won them the Gold Medal in 1984, and changed Ice Dancing, for the better and forever after. So I didn’t think I could love any other artists performing to it. But BodyTraffic’s number, choreographed by Fernando Hernando Magadan, to that classic music lived up to Torvill and Dean. I cannot give higher praise than that. It was stunning!

The Shared Ground curtain call. Photo by Karen Salkin.

All three nights ended with Richard Siegal’s o2Joy, danced to songs by Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday and others of their ilk. When I first saw this one in 2018, I wrote, “The hallmark of o2Joy is really joyful and colorful dancing, so, of course, I adored it. It was the perfect ending to the leave-them-wanting-more evening of dance.” How ironic then that now it was the very last bit from BodyTraffic that any of us will ever see, and it still left me wanting more!

The reason that I know my exact review from back then, (which was actually the very first time I had ever seen BodyTraffic,) is that, as my own private tribute to them, I recently looked through all my reviews of the company over the years. And in doing so, I realized something. Everything about their final show was a bit “more” than ever before. The dancers I had been admiring through the years who are still with the company looked leaner and tighter, and all their moves appeared to be the crispest ever. These people know how to go out with a bang!

I have to add one little interesting thing that I’m just guessing at, but my detective mind believes I am correct about it. As Mr. X and I were sitting in the lobby before the show, the most exuberant young girl came rushing down the steps, so excited for the show. She was rocking shiny shoes and angel wings, and Mr. X and I both enjoyed seeing little Sofia running happily around. (We knew her name because a cute guy, who I assumed is her father, and a boy who is perhaps her brother, were trying to wrangle her.) And then, at intermission, I semi-deduced that she is the daughter of BodyTraffic’s Tina Finkelman Berkett. I really think I am correct, but even if not, I want to give that little girl a shout-out—we should all love life as much as she apparently does! (And Sofia—I was as excited for this show as you were!)

The o2Joy, and overall BodyTraffic swan song, curtain call! Photo by Karen Salkin.

And now I can’t believe we’re never going to see the uber-impressive BodyTraffic at the Wallis, nor anywhere in Los Angeles, ever again! But luckily for some of you, they still have a few dates left around the country on their farewell tour, including two of my favorite cities, Aspen and Santa Fe. So try to see them if you can. Here’s their sked: www.bodytraffic.com/performances/upcoming-shows.

And I strongly suggest that everyone always check-out the Wallis’ schedule because you’re sure to find something wonderful there. Here’s their site: thewallis.org.

This won’t be as long as my Tonys reviews in previous years because there’s not that much to say this time. Most of the comments that Mr. X and I shared with each other while watching the show live were negative. Comically negative, but negative nonetheless. So I just don’t have the heart to repeat most of them here.

Part of the opening. I don’t like anyone messing with my beloved Peter Pan!!! (But I suggest that Pink play him down the road.) Photo by Karen Salkin, as is the one above.

I also tweeted a bunch of my other Tonys thoughts, until we got waaay behind in our watching. You can still read the tweets, if you’re curious. (I’m @MajorCelebrity on that platform.)

But I reserved some of my bon mots to share with you guys right here. Let’s get to them already, in the order that they happened. [Note: Since few people care about the Tonys at all, zero channels showed the arrivals! Not even streaming. You had to watch them on-line! And I don’t have that kind of determination.]

First of all, though I really like and admire Pink, why in the world was she the host of the prestigious Tonys?! She’s never been in a Broadway show, (although she’s more talented than all of those creepy non-stars who go from Dancing With The Stars to appear in Chicago!) I predict she will star in a stage musical very soon, but she should not have hosted this year. She performed great, but every time she just spoke, she was so uncomfortable that she kept swaying side to side. (She even joked that would learn how to read next week, because she was so bad with the teleprompter.)

All that being said, that lengthy opening number was wonderful!

Sarah Paulson. Photo by Karen Salkin.

But in a little while, Mr. X said, “It’s been dragging from the moment the music stopped,” which he was 100% correct about. And we definitely didn’t need to keep hearing Pink do publicity for her daughter!

Thank goodness for Maya Rudolph. She brought the room up again. (I actually tweeted that exact sentiment on time—three times!—but it just would not go through. Crazy. Does Twitter hate Maya or me?)

Sarah Paulson is such a talented woman, but she’s far from a looker. So why would she make herself look even worse for a big awards show?!

On the other hand, that was the absolute best that Laurie Metcalf has ever looked. Or can!

June Squibb, looking the best of everyone!

But I was desperate for June Squibb to win in Metcalf’s category, just for being a nonagenarian who appears on stage every night!!! That woman is ninety-six, and looked better than just about all of them!

When the two little boys from Ragtime appeared on-stage for a stupid bit, Mr. X and I said that we “want to slap this kid” at the same time! (Don’t worry—we’re not into physical abuse, (only mental, and of just each other)–that’s what makes it funny that we both said that!)

I have one word for Rachel Zegler: necklace!

I wholeheartedly expected Marla Mindelle, the woman who co-wrote and stars in Titanique, (as Celine Dion,) to sing much better. (And I do mean much!) [Note: I learned later that many, many people ragged on her singing on social media, so I’m glad I didn’t add to her pain. Perhaps it was just a sound mixing snafu that night.]

Until after the Tonys ended, I had no idea that the person playing Rose’s mother in that show was none other than…Jim Parsons! That was quite the shock.

At this point, after seeing scenes from several of the nominated shows, mainly musicals, I told Mr. X, “I want to write a really stupid show so we can put it on Broadway.” Those seem to be the ones that are succeeding these days.

The talented broadway newcomers from Two Strangers (Carry a Cake Across New York). Photo by Karen Salkin.

There should be a separate award for Best Playwright, not just Best Play. The Tony for Best Book is separate for musicals.

The musical Two Strangers (Carry a Cake Across New York) looks adorbs! As do those two actors. It was the first fun show they had shown all night! I can’t wait to see this one!

The young winner for Best Featured Actor in a Musical, Ali Louis Bourzgui, is deep! What a speech he gave. I never heard of him before, but now I’ll seek him out. He doesn’t need to even be an actor—he could run the world! He gave perhaps the speech of the century.

When she won Best Actress in a Play, Brit Lesley Manville, (who I joke with Mr. X that she’s “my close, personal friend” because we met at a party at the Wallis a few years ago, and she seem pretty puzzled by everything I was saying,) quipped, “Would somebody like to write a play for five women?,” in regard to the group of nominees in her category. That is the absolute best thing any winner has ever said regarding their competitors. (They usually declare their admiration for the losing four, and it always sounds so condescending.) And guess what—one of Lesley’s rival’s husbands is Tracy Letts, an award-winning playwright!!! So I expect to see the show she’s conjuring nominated for a bunch of #Tonys in a few years. (Perhaps Mr. Letts should let me collaborate with him for coming up with the idea!)

I hate to say this, but I must be honest: The Rocky Horror Show has the worst-looking cast I’ve ever seen. Even good-looking-in-real-life Luke Evans looked dreadful. And they all appeared to be lip-syncing. (I could be wrong, but I rarely am in that category.) But I did love Luke’s subtle butt-jiggle as he sashayed away. Great butt!

I was shocked when I discovered that one of the women in that musical is excellent TV-and-film actress, Brad Pitt’s ex-girlfriend, and former major Scientologist Juliette Lewis! I knew all those other facts about her, but had no idea that she sings.

Nicole Scherzinger, giving alien face! Photo by Karen Salkin.

I was also shocked that Rachel Zegler sings so beautifully! But how is her singing What I Did For Love, the major song from A Chorus Line, (a show she was never a part of,) a “tribute to the original cast,” as it was announced to be???

Nicole Scherzinger looks like an actual alien now. It’s very weird. I guess having soooo much plastic surgery is better than having wrinkles, but still, she looks very odd now. How can she even open her mouth to sing?!

That was a great speech from Best Actor in a Musical, Joshua Henry of Ragtime. He appeared the most popular winner of the night.

And finally, just to let you sticklers know, I did paraphrase the exact title of some of the categories. The ones in the Tonys are way too long to type!