I’m so exhausted from all of my recent sports-watching, (first March Madness; followed almost immediately by the NBA Play-offs, which I swear, I watched every second of from April 15th to last weekend’s Final Game 7!; and the sadness of TNT showing its very last the NBA game and analysis show; all running at the same time as the games of my beloved Yankees and Mets,) that I almost cannot muster much enthusiasm for my also-beloved venerable tennis tourney, The Championships Wimbledon, which begins today.

But you know that I will try my best, perhaps just to be able to deserve my again-beloved strawberries and cream in almost two weeks during the Gentlemen’s and Ladies’ Finals, affectionately labeled Breakfast at Wimbledon.

Wimbledon before the tournament begins, when the grass is perfection!

With Rafael Nadal finally retiring, (with an emotional ceremony at his beloved French Open last month,) and, of course, my really beloved Roger Federer being done with competitive tennis for a trio of years now, I just can’t get behind the sport as much as I used to. These days, I usually root for Carlos Alcaraz and Aryna Sabalenka, but I don’t suffer when they lose, as I always did for Roger. So my heart is just not much into the sport right now. (This article is not an upper so far, is it?)

So adorbs! Carlos Alcaraz admiring Emma Raducanu’s athletic prowess!

But there are a few bright spots coming up in this fortnight, most of them courtesy of young romances, the games-within-the-games. First up, but not yet confirmed to the public, is my fave—Spaniard Carlos Alcaraz and Brit Emma Raducanu!!! I know, right? What makes it even better is that they’re both Majors Champions! She actually won a few years before he did! They claim they’re “just good friends,” (and will be doubles partners at the upcoming US Open, which I can’t wait to see,) but come on now—you can’t pull the relationship wool over my eyes!

When I told Mr. X that Carlos is seeing Emma, he exclaimed a long,” Wow,” followed by, “Lucky him!” That was so cute!

I’m officially dubbing the adorbs new duo “Carma!” (Remember–you read it here first!)

And then there’s young American player, Ben Shelton, who is now proudly seeing Olympic Champion soccer star, Trinity Rodman. She’s the none-too-happy-to-be daughter of crazy former pro basketball player, Dennis Rodman, (who she states has been largely absent from her life.) Trinity and Ben look soooo happy together. I can’t wait to see her in the stands, cheering him on.

Ben Shelton and Trinity Rodman.

Other than those peeps, I just don’t have the energy this year to suggest whom else we should be looking out for. So we’ll all just have to find-out together as these next fourteen days unfold.

I really don’t have much time to be watching the twelve-hours-a-day television coverage, but I’ll do my best. At least I’ll get back a few hours here and there because I always zip through the games of multiple-Majors-Champions Novak Djokovic and Coco Gauff, neither of whose on-court antics I enjoy watching. I don’t really dislike them as people—I just always root against them. (I also root against Jelena Ostapenko, by the way.)

One thing to keep in mind if you join me in watching Wimbledon is that players are now allowed to get coached from the stands. That policy went into effect last year; I think I’m still against it, but, with sooooo much wrong in the world right now, I can’t use any of my brain space to further think about something so unimportant in the scheme of life.

Because they’re so cute together, one more of the duo I’m dubbing “Carma!” (Remember–you read it here first!)

However, if anything major happens at Wimbledon over the next couple of weeks, I’ll do my best to tweet about it, @MajorCelebrity. But remember—the proceedings begin at 3AM West Coast time, so I’ll most likely be several hours behind the live action every day. But I have a feeling that it will still all be news to most of you guys!

And as always, I just hope that nice people win and, much more importantly, that everyone will be safe.

I had meant for last week’s NBA 2024 Postseason article to be a one-off, but as we get further into Round Two of the NBA play-offs, there’s more and more to say about them. And about basketball in general this year. (If you missed it, and would like to get caught-up, here’s the link: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/basketball-nba-2024-postseason.)

So here we go with the second installment of my thoughts on the proceedings:

Why were these NBA prospects at the Draft Lottery??? And why did they all look like they were awaiting bad news? Photo by Karen Salkin.

~ Before I get into some of my most recent basketball play-offs notes, I must first ponder something head-scratching about this past week-end’s NBA Draft Lottery. And that is: Why are some of the draft prospects invited to it??? (They were last year, as well.) This wasn’t the draft itself—it was just the half-hour show deciding the order that the NBA teams will get to choose their new young players in June when the actual draft will be held. And some of the guys’ parents were there, as well! What for? I don’t get it. Just do the ping-pong balls and let us move along! (Perhaps they have the guys there for the purpose of interviewing them on TV in order to get the public more interested in the sport. But it’s still stupid.)

~ Laker LeBron James and his wife showed-up in Cleveland last night, sitting in the front row of the Cavs-Celts game, which is very unusual for him to do—watch the play-off game of another team, especially after his has been eliminated. He’s from that city, and has always loved it, (except, of course, when he flat-left his first team, the Cavaliers, and famously “took” his “talents to Miami” years ago, in order to win his first Championship!)

LeBron James and his wife at the Cleveland Cavaliers-Boston Celtics game last night, trying to send a message to his Lakers owners. (But what’s up with her hat???) Photo by Karen Salkin.

But what’s interesting about his very public appearance there is that I feel it was to basically “threaten” the Lakers into signing his son Bronny for next season, in order to keep LeBron on the team. I feel he was letting the Lakers higher-ups know that he’d be happy to end his career back home, if the Cavs would sign the kid. That’s what I feel he should anyway. (Remember–I predicted this scenario first!)

Charles Barkley. Photo by Karen Salkin.

~ I totally disagree with Charles Barkley on something he complained majorly about during the first round between the New York Knicks and the Philadelphia 76ers. Chuck had a major issue with the fact that so many New York fans got tickets to the Sixers arena, (which they were able to do because the two cities are so close.) I agree that it was annoying to the Sixers team and organization, in general, to have people there loudly cheering their opponents on, but my take on the situation is totally different. I feel that it was good to have so many Knicks fans in Philly because it balanced-out the screaming, which is so much easier to hear, no matter for whom you’re rooting. It would be nice if all sports arenas could have a smattering of people cheering for the opponents.

~ In addition to predicting the recent firing of Lakers head coach Darvin Ham, I also predicted that Phoenix Suns’ coach, Frank Vogel, would be next. (But I have a feeling that everyone did!) And, of course it came to pass pretty quickly after the team got swept in the first round of the play-offs. They already hired the Bucks’ old coach, Mike Budenholzer, who will be a much better fit for the Suns. (That’s yet another prediction of mine that I expect will be correct.)

~ Speaking of coaches, I’ve noticed recently just how lovely the Nuggets’ Michael Malone is to his players. During a game or two, I’ve seen him tell a couple of them individually to not worry—that they’ll get rolling, and that one thing or another is not their fault. He’s so different from the coaches who get in their players’ faces.

One of the NBA sideline reporters, whom I actually like. She’s just one example of the awful teeth on everybody! (And you’re welcome for making this pic a smalll one!) Photo by Karen Salkin.

~ I’m absolutely flabbergasted by the number of people associated with the game—players, commentators, coaches, sideline reporters—who have awful teeth! They all possess the money needed to get new chompers, (mainly veneers,) yet they choose to have their mouths ruin their looks! How do they not know better??? Even recent convict Gypsy-Rose Blanchard, who was just released from prison after eight years, had hers fixed as soon as she could! (If you know any of those British-peeps-wannabes, please pass my sentiments along. And perhaps add the phone number of a cosmetic dentist!)

~ So they don’t seem to care about their teeth, yet some of the players shave their armpits!!! (For which we’re all grateful, actually.)

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander of the T-Wolves showing up to a game looking like one of those people posing as statues for tips! And please note the matching purse. Ugh. Photo by Karen Salkin.

~ Speaking of looks, some of the players show up to the games looking like idiots. They may as well just eschew their game that night and start planning for next year’s Met Gala! (Which I’ll finally be discussing in this space at the end of this week.)

~ I get such a kick-out of this: The trio of Knicks’ stars—Jalen Brunson, Josh Hart, and Donte DiVincenzo—all played together, and won multiple college Championships, at Villanova. So they’re especially in sync in the play-offs. They’re even referred to as the “Nova Knicks.”

~ I didn’t get a chance to discuss the Olympic team in my last NBA article, so all I want to say about it now is that I think that, as sad as it would be for him, Kawhi Leonard should bow out soon if his knee isn’t getting significantly better. He would not be doing himself or the team any favors if he can’t really play.

The “Nova Knicks”: Jalen Brunson, Josh Hart, (I thank him for his easy name, by the way,) and Donte DiVincenzo. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Since we’re only in the middle of the second round, with two more full rounds to go, I have a feeling that I may have Part III, and maybe even Part IV, in me before all is said and done. (After all, I do have to discuss the meaning of “MVP,” and share more thoughts about the Olympic team.) And why not? I eschew all my usual activities during the play-offs, so there’s nothing else to review for you right now!

Many of you know that I’m usually ranting about bad situations in life. But this time, I have to tell you of a business kindness that is so rare, it must be applauded.

Eli Aflalo, of EA Garage Door Repair, is a garage door installer/repairman who is so fair and honest that we in Los Angeles are lucky to have him.

Eli Aflalo of EA Garage Door Repair.

So here’s the full dramatic story of how we met Eli, and why we now think so highly of him. (But if you just can’t wait to get his info, scroll down to the bottom of this page.)

Two Friday nights ago, Mr. X and I pulled into our garage after an evening at the theatre. I was thrilled that it was an early-ish night because I had to be up at the crack of dawn the next morning to go out for the entire day and night, and therefore, I couldn’t wait to get into bed. And then, it happened; our garage door started going down, but reversed and went back up. When we tried to make it go back down, it stopped halfway open!

And then things got worse. Part of it detached from the side, and the whole door wound-up not level on the bottom, where it was still open.

As you can well imagine, we were frantic. It was getting late, and, of course, we couldn’t leave it like that. Not because it was obviously broken, but because we would have had to sit-up all night in the cold garage to protect the house from thieves.

The worst part was that, as most everyone knows, Mr. X eschews going out, but I had begged him to go to that show with me! If he had stayed home, the garage door wouldn’t have been opened that night to begin with! So I felt very guilty, especially as he mentioned that situation a time or two. (Or twenty!!!)

So I called the guy who had just worked on our garage door four months earlier, (and with whom it was still under warranty,) and I emailed him, too. Nothing. Because we knew he was a nice guy, who we were aware had a health issue, on top of everything we were already dealing with that night, we were worried about him!

Just a small part of our problem. That small pin to the right had come out of it’s horizontel holder to its left, knocking part of the garage door off its track. Photo by Mr. X.

So, in desperation, we began calling every garage door person we could find on the internet, starting with the ones who were listed as being open until midnight, (it was around 11PM at that point,) and the companies who were listed as open 24-hours.

But, of course, the first half dozen or so told me they could be at our house at…7AM!!! I explained that we can’t leave our home open like that overnight, and to a person, they all told me that we can! They stated that erroneous premise not because they thought it was even close to the truth, but rather because they didn’t want to come out at that late time of night, while still wanting our business! How rude of them! And dishonest, to boot.

We were really panicking. And then, luckily for us, I got Eli from the centrally-located EA Garage Door Repair on the phone. And he was a true godsend!!! I honestly don’t know what we would have done without him.

Eli Aflalo of EA Garage Door Repair installing someone else’s garage door.

He’s the only person who was smart enough to have us FaceTime him so he could see what the garage door was doing! Even I didn’t think of that! He told us he could get the door down for us that night, but couldn’t come back to fix it fully until Sunday.

We were overjoyed! Eli said he’d be here in twenty-five minutes. And that’s when he did show-up, to the minute!

I felt bad because I have a feeling he was already in bed for the night, but we were thrilled that he agreed to come.

Eli got the door down in a *nano-second, and totally saved the day. He was wonderful. And nice and pleasant, as well. *[Note: It was far from as simple a fix as people on Next Door had suggested to me, so do not ever try to do it yourselves! I’ll explain in a minute.]

By the way, here’s a bonus of using Eli to build your own garage door: He is perfectly-aged for the job! He’s old enough to have about a decade of experience in the business, while still young enough that he’ll be around to take care of all of our garage doors forever, (unlike the original man who installed ours years ago, and then retired without telling us, selling his phone number to a new guy we had never met, so we wouldn’t know the difference when we needed him!)

Eli Aflalo of EA Garage Door Repair fixing another client’s garage door. (You didn’t think MY garage was that uncluttered, did you?!)

So back to my story: Eli said he’d call us the next evening to set-up a time for the big fix on Sunday, which, of course, he did, right on time. Mr. X and I were wrecks by then because of this predicament we had: Our original guy had just finally called and said, as we had worried about, that he had had a medical issue, so he hadn’t checked phone messages or emails for a couple of days. But he said he’d be right over to fix the door! Oysh.

I told him to hold his horses, and I called Eli and told him the story. I said that morally, (and also because we liked him and saw how efficient and diligent and fair he is,) we wanted him to do the work to fix the garage door. But that if we used the guy we had the warranty with, it would not cost us anything, as opposed to starting anew with Eli.

And you know what? Eli told us to use our under-warranty guy to save the money!!! What other business people are that kind and caring and honest??? Mr. X said Eli is “beyond fair.” I almost cried with gratitude to him.

On top of that, due to the unusual circumstances, and perhaps because of how little time it took him to get the door down that night, he waived his usual emergency fee. He could have charged us anything he wanted because he had us over a barrel, so his kindness was especially appreciated.

Where EA Garage Door Repair is located, so Eli can get to most places in LA pretty quickly.

I was with a fellow homeowner friend during my entire conversation with Eli that night, and she, too, was in shock over how wonderful he is. Neither of us had ever encountered such a good person in business before!

By the way—that gal pal is very handy, and can do her own plumbing and electrician duties. But, she told me that the number one thing that no one should ever try to fix on their own is a garage door! It can kill you! I had no idea, but I’ve since researched the topic, and she is absolutely correct.

So she immediately asked for EA Garage Door Repair’s info to have on hand. And she was grateful to have it.

And that’s what I’m doing right now for all of you, too. So here it all is:

Eli Aflalo of E A Garage Door Repair
14850 Weddington Street, Unit 2, Sherman Oaks
818-425-5214
www.eagaragedoorrepair.com

I suggest that out-of-towners even move to Los Angeles just to be able to use Eli Aflalo!

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous host Robin Leach is someone I had not seen in a long time, but I always expected to bump into him again any day; he was that kind of presence. So his death two weeks ago took me by surprise.

I was introduced to him when I was very young, and Mr. X and I had just started being a couple. At the time, Mr. X was one of the stars of a very popular TV series, and he had recently split from a famous TV actress. Their break-up was great fodder for the tabloids, and everyone wanted to know what was up with it, and were especially curious about who this young “starlet” he was now seeing was. We were keeping our new relationship under wraps at the time, so we were being followed around by photographers, and reporters were even going through our garbage!

Robin Leach learned of my existence from one of his photographers, so, being the reporter he was, he kept bugging our wonderful manager, Stuart, for the story. One of the very few people in the biz whom Stuart trusted was Robin, so we agreed to let him have a bit of our story, hoping he would treat us right, which he did. We stayed friendly after that.

So, awhile after it had become common knowledge that Mr. X and I were together, we took a trip to New York, coincidentally when Robin was there, as well. I was not even a billionth of the bon vivette I am today, and Mr. X was as hermetic as he’s always been, so, of course, we were not hip to what the illuminati do in that crazy town, outside of my teen-age Brooklyn knowledge.

So, Robin offered to “host” us that week. I had no idea what that meant, but it was a trip I’ve never forgotten. What a wild ride hitting the Big Apple with Robin Leach was! It was nightly limos and happening restaurants and the hippest clubs. It was a dream come true for the younger me! The whole whirlwind was the kind of time I still crave; many were group hangs, with other show biz pals of Robin. Let me tell you—that man was popular!

And he knew exactly what to do at each moment. The first night, he took us to a “Joe sent me” eatery in the basement of an Upper West Side…florist shop! I searched for that place forever after, but even when I thought I had found it, the flower people would not admit what was downstairs without Robin accompanying me. What an experience that was!

And after dinner each night, our whole group would be ushered right into the latest nightclub. Everything about our “Week with Robin Leach” was amazing. (Maybe I should write a book about it!)

I did have one quibble with Robin on that trip, though, but I told him about it, so I’ll share it with you, too. One night, Mr. X and I decided to have dinner at the iconic show biz hang-out, Elaine’s, by ourselves, and told Robin that we’d just meet him afterwards. While there, we had the very strange experience of Mr. X’s ex-girlfriend showing up while we were dining, and since Elaine had given us the A table, (possibly Robin’s doing,) the girl had to walk right past us. So, we all had no choice but to have a very awkward reunion right in front of everyone. (Especially awkward because she and I had also been pals back in the day, and I had not seen her since I was now with her ex-boyfriend! But, in my defense, I did know him first.)

We decided to not say anything to Robin about the encounter because, as friendly as we all were by then, he was still a tabloid reporter, and Mr. X was (and still is) very private. But, of course, word had traveled by then. Even so, when Robin grilled me about the encounter later that evening, I still resisted. So, at dinner the next night, he made sure to seat me next to him, to have another go at breaking me.

He kept saying to just tell him as a friend, not for publication. I finally said that if he promised to keep it off the record, I’d tell him the story, because I knew he was absolutely salivating for it. When he swore to it, I spilled my guts. And we continued to have a fun week together.

So I was shocked to find-out, when we got back to LA, that he had totally betrayed my trust and published the story, and worse, he attributed it all to me! In print. And it was not even close to what I had told him. Mr. X and our manager were furious with me for saying anything at all to Robin. But Robin thought it was all very amusing.

Of course, I forgave him. But that stopped me from ever again having another totally magical experience with him after that. I realized that Robin and I were too dishy for my words to remain between us.

He and I bumped into each other in LA from time to time and we always had a giggle over something. And then I had not seen him in several years when I met him for the last time. We were both panel members on one of the annual telethons, and the second he saw me backstage, he came right over and, with a twinkle in his eye, asked how Mr. X is. That really struck me right—even though it had been several years, he was still right on top of things. To this day, many people still stupidly ask if my bae and I are still together, but Robin knew that, of course, we’re a done deal for life! I really appreciated that.

I’ve always held Robin dear in my heart, and long for even one more night like the exciting and incredible ones we had together. Even though that can never happen again, I cherish those wonderful memories.

RIP, Robin Leach.

Being a lover of Westwood Village, (as it was my very first destination when I arrived in LA as a teen-ager,) I had passed by this Greek restaurant on Westwood Boulevard many a time.  (It’s not in the Village itself, but just a few blocks outside it.)  And then a friend came to town from San Diego recently, and mentioned that he wanted to try it. But I was never able to make the time until the other night, when I was invited to a sumptuous set dinner for a few select members of the press.

Photo by Flo Selfman.

Since I had assumed that there would be a lot of foods I don’t eat, (including beef, lamb, and olives,) I brought along one of my trusty associates, Flo, who loves Greek food, and was excited at the prospect of finding a new ethnic eatery.

As we entered and were greeted by owner Roozbeh Farahanipour, and his pastry chef wife, Rana, the very first thing Flo noticed is that the “restaurant  is so clean; it looks brand new,” even though it had been there for over thirty-five years!  She also mentioned that the “bright white walls and vivid blue accents are very appealing.”  The intimate interior reminded me of the eateries in New York, so I instantly had a warm feeling towards it. And the Greek music that played throughout our stay, at a soft volume (thank goodness,) added to the ambiance.

The two different kinds of shark e-words in one of the three fish tanks. Photo by Karen Salkin, as is the big one at the top of this page.

There’s a trio of fish tanks on the walls, which is very relaxing. The biggest one contains two soon-to-hatch sharks, which the rest of the guests were fascinated with.  I pointed-out that they’ll have to move all the other fish once these guys hatch, or else they’ll be the only two entities in that tank, if you get my drift!

After mingling for a while, we finally sat down to our very lengthy and delicious repast.  There was something for everyone.  We began with a potpourri of cold appetizers.  I tried only the hummus and tabouli, and found them both to be superior.  Here are Flo’s impressions of the others: She said that the taramasalata, which is red caviar whipped with olive oil and fresh lemon juice, was “light and not very fishy,” while the melitzanosalata, which is eggplant whipped with Greek yogurt, tahini, fresh garlic and Greek herbs, “was very tasty.”

The plentiful appetizers. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Then came a fun surprise for all of us—Rana brought out the saganaki flame, which is cheese soaked in cognac, and she…lit it on fire!  We all oohed and aahed.  And begged her to do it again!  (Which she did.  Four times, in fact, because there was one for each table of guests.)  It was very flavorful, too. Flo said the cheese was “mild and stretchy,” and that she could have eaten it all night. [Note: The big photo at the top of this page is of that special presentation. Photo by Karen Salkin.]

I almost passed on the avgolemono soup because Roozeh described it to me as chicken broth with e-words, but being the good sport I (sometimes) am, I said I’d try a taste.  But guess what?  It was my favorite dish of the night!  First of all, it wasn’t broth at all!  And second, there were no chunks of e-words.  It was basically cream of chicken soup with rice, minus the cream.  And it was yummy!!!

We realized later that we didn’t get to sample any salads, but we were so full by then that we didn’t even miss it.  And we can have salad anytime. The entrees were the main attraction, and there were plenty of those on the menu!

Pork chop platter. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Being the picky eater that I am, I appreciated that we each got to choose our own dinner, which also made the vegetarian at my table happy. (I’m always thrilled when I’m not the only pain-in-the-butt at an event!)   There was a real variety of dishes; just at our one table of six, where we each chose something different. Flo wanted to be “traditional,” so she went with the pastitsio, which is a Greek signature dish. She told me, “The main ingredients were perfectly layered: macaroni-type pasta formed the base, topped with lightly seasoned ground beef and a firm layer of béchamel sauce and feta cheese; an unbeatable combination.”

But I believe that my pork chop was the winner.  Not only were the accompanying roasted potatoes and carrots delicious, as well, but it came with something I’ve never seen before—a side of cranberry sauce!  What fun!

The two non-traditional desserts. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Flo and I were too full for dessert, (and I’m not supposed to eat sugar, anyway,) so I brought some bites of the non-traditional chocolate cake and cheesecake home to Mr. X who said they were “moist, rich, and better than delicious.”

This was a wonderful introduction to Delphi Greek.  I definitely plan to go back there with my posse to do a full review for you before the year is out.  Until then, you cannot go wrong with any of the dishes I just told you about.  As they say in Greece, “Oopa!!!”

Crystal giving a magic massage to a guest. Photo by Karen Salkin.

My friend, Flo, and I spent a lovely afternoon at this event in Salon Ramsey in North Hollywood. Everything about it worked. All the guests were upbeat and mingling, the music was fun, the services were excellent, and the food was delish!

Even though it was held in a hair salon, they weren’t doing hair that day. Go figure. But we both got chair massages by massage therapist Crystal. This was perhaps the best massage I’ve ever received! She really got in there and worked on my evil knots, as opposed to some of the others masseuses at events who just kind-of phone it in. (And she’s an entertainer, as well. I bet she’s as good at show biz as she is massaging.)

The clever drink chillers. Photo by Karen Salkin.

While Flo enjoyed a glass of bubbly (or two—but who’s counting,) she spent a lot of time discussing an anti-bullying campaign with some of the other guests. She was very impressed with all of it. (In case you’re interested, as well, which we hope you are, it’s called CALLM, and began because the founder’s autistic son was constantly getting bullied at school. I believe you can find them on Facebook.)

There was a bar set-up right in front, and there was a very cute touch at the back of the place. They put all different beverages in…the shampoo sinks!!! One held bottles of water, another one had cans of different sodas, and the third kept the many bottles of champagne on ice. Absolutely adorbs.

Photo by Karen Salkin.

But the piece de resistance was the buffet! It was catered by the near-by Sweetie Pie’s, which is always a crowd favorite. There was incredible fried chicken, fall-off-the-bone ribs, beans, rice, fish sandwiches, and salad. But several of us, (me included, of course,) actually began with the mouth-watering desserts! There were mini strawberry shortcakes (in cups!) and my fave—banana pudding! I would have been happy eating just a couple (okay—several) of those.

Flo and I were both on heavy duty deadlines that day, so we had planned to stay for only a few minutes. But, before we knew it, a couple of hours had gone by! We left there full, relaxed, and smiling. What more could you ask for in a pleasant Monday afternoon event?!

I just realized that I celebrate my anniversary with Mr. X in print here only every other year.  At first I couldn’t figure out why that is, and then I realized it’s because I’m too involved in watching Wimbledon to write about anything other than tennis during this time!

But this year, I’m making the time to do both—laud my uber-long relationship with Mr. X while watching the iconic tennis tourney.

But I am taking a bit of the lazy way out.  I wrote several of my favorite tales of Mr. X in my very first column about our anniversary, (which was six years ago,) so, since even I can’t remember everything I’ve written in that time, I’m re-printing a few of these here, and adding my favorite story, which I can’t believe I’ve never told you guys before!

And, after all these years, he’s still the Linus to my Sally.

Here we go:

–One day, I was pouring my heart out to him about how I fell in love with him because he was so talented, and saying that I didn’t even know at the time that he’s the funniest person there is, or that he can dance, sing, and play instruments. (And has the most gorgeous back!) Then I said, “Okay, now you tell me the story of how you fell in love with me,” to which he answered, “Ill let you know when that happens.” We had been together for many years at that time. Can you see why I love the guy?

–People always ask if we’re married, living together, or just dating. His answer? “It’s a hostage situation.” I’m afraid that I can’t even say that he’s wrong.

–I asked him, “If you die first, and look down, and see me with another guy, will it be okay?” He came back with, “Well, let me ask you this–will I already have been buried?” Good question, actually.

–This is a good one, but within the story, I have to tell you something good that a guy said about me once, because it’s the basis of the story. So please forgive me for doing that. Remember–I didn’t say it, a guy I know did. Here it is: I was at a party with a horrible former pal a few years back, and we hung-out with several people I knew. One handsome man was telling the assemblage that his wife knew he had a crush on me, and that all the other guys who watched my show felt the same at the time. (Remember—this was a long while ago.) So, when the jealous bi-atch pal was dropping me off at the end of the night, she very rudely asked, “Why do you think it is that guys like you, Kar? Do you think it’s your chest?” Since I’ve always disguised it, I knew that wasn’t it, but I didn’t have an answer. It wasn’t for me to figure it out. Or to even discuss. And her insensitive question really bothered me. When I told Mr. X of her rude query, he quickly stated, “I know exactly why guys like you.” Preening all the way, expecting to hear a litany of my shining qualities, I excitedly asked, “You do???” To which he gave me the supreme answer, “They don’t know you that well.” I swear, that’s my favorite comment of his of all time!

–Now here’s the best one, that I can’t believe I never told you guys!: As I was switching channels one day, I noticed at the end of some talk show that they were asking for people to contact them if they’re being stalked by a former relationship. I jokingly suggested to Mr. X that we contact them about one of his ex-girlfriends who I felt was following our lives a little too closely. But he answered back, with an incredulous tone, “Contact them about her?! She’s not the stalker. You’re the stalker! We should contact them if ever they a do a story about a stalker who won!” And you know what? To this day, I’m proud of that fact. I should give lessons in how to get your man!

And, as witnessed by today being our hundredth anniversary, I know how to keep him, too!

Happy Anniversary, Mr. X! Love ya, doll!

[Happy addendum: I’m happy to report that this year, at Thanksgiving, Mr. X finally told not only me, but the entire assemblage at dinner, how he fell in love with me! We were all floored. But I’m pretending I didn’t hear it because the torture of him making believe he doesn’t really love me is so much more fun than knowing the truth. For both of us. I guess we are made for each other.]

[Note: It’s funny—I just noticed that last time I wrote a column about about this date, I called it our 100th anniversary! And that was just two years ago!]

[Note: I visited six pre-Oscars Gifting Suites this year. (Well, actually, it was eight, but two are not worth telling you about!) As always, each one gets its own write-up, in the order that I attended them. This is the first of them, so please make sure to check back for the next five week-days, to learn about all the fabulous-ness. (And after that, there will be two wonderful stand-alone goodie bags to give you the scoops on, as well!) Lou was my Contributing Writer on this one. I was thrilled to have his male perspective on the proceedings.]

The buffet. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Once again, Doris Bergman threw her pre-Oscars event at one of West Hollywood’s top eateries, Fig and Olive. So, we were fed all day, from the passed signature flatbreads to a full lunch buffet to the wonderful mini desserts. This was Lou’s first time there, and he was impressed with it all! His favorite dish of the day was the penne pasta with a creamy red sauce and grilled shrimp. He deemed it “the highlight at the end of the buffet line. It was like the exclamation mark at the end of sentence.”

I sated myself with the healthful Moroccan chicken with hearty vegetables, served over cous cous. And their delish Caesar salad, of course.

Oscar winner George Chakiris.

For lunch, it was fun to sit right next to Everybody Loves Raymond‘s Doris Roberts, who never misses one of Doris’ events. It was also interesting to spy some different celebrities this time, ones I’ve never seen at a gifting suite before, such as my recent buddy (and Oscar winner, for the iconic film, West Side Story,) George Chakiris, the elusive Robin Givens, and boxing ring announcer Michael Buffer, whom I was the most excited to meet, especially since he had just done a comedy bit with Kevin Hart at the NBA All-Star Game the week-end before!

Even more important than the celebs, food, and gifts, though, is the charity Doris always highlights. So, this time, I’m telling you about it first!:

Wednesday’s Child—Since giving back is so much more gratifying than receiving, my first stop at this semi-annual event is always this adoption charity’s table. love saying hi to everyone, and donating gifts for teen-agers who are in their organization. The upbeat personnel are always on-hand to thank the (hopefully, generous) givers, and to answer any questions we have. It always starts my day off with an extra pep in my step. I hope that every one of Doris’ guests visits them first, as well. (Gifts in hand, of course!) www.foxla.com/wednesdays-child

Doris always has tons of repeat sponsors, so she must be doing something right! I enjoyed seeing them, as well as being introduced to the new ones. So, let’s get to the highlights of the gifts already!:

Photo by Karen Salkin.

Art Lewin Bespoke—At the last event, I discovered that Art is not just a men’s clothier—he makes women’s duds, as well!!! So, I recently stopped by his Beverly Hills showroom to be fitted for a button-down shirt. I haven’t been able to wear one for many years (because, if you must know, none ever close over my chest,) but Art said he can tailor one with no problem at all. (Not to mention that I saw a top male model getting fitted by him, too, while I was there! But you’ll have to wait for my next Celeb Sightings column to find-out who it was.) Lou loved meeting Art at the suite, and said of him and his designs, “Clean and simple elegance. The extraordinary gentleman will immediately recognize the fine difference from this purveyor of fine-tailored suits and shirts.” He continued, “I simply stared at my classy black bow tie from this company; I can’t decide whether to wear it or frame it. Or enter it into my will!” www.artlewinbespoke.com

Photo by Karen Salkin.

2-Minute Club—No, it’s not what you think. Get your minds out of the gutter! (But it is a catchy moniker!) This is a monthly subscription service…for your hair! As a chick whose new meds are affecting my usual ten thousand pounds of hair, I was especially interested to discover their Pura D’or shampoo and conditioner, which fight hair loss. The products are packaged very attractively, to boot, and the lovely female rep was really informative and caring, and seemed sincerely interested in helping follically-challenged folks. Lou said his “damaged hair says ‘hell to the yes!’ ” And this company will just send it when we need more! Haircare doesn’t get easier than that! www.2minuteclub.com

Photo by Karen Salkin.

Single Dress—These dresses from this very popular sponsor are so coveted that there was almost a catfight over some of them! I’m really not kidding about that–the female guests were literally fighting over these adorable dresses! They were also gifting men’s underwear, so, of course, here’s Lou’s take on them: “This line adds to the hybrid underwear tradition with its sleek-cut styling and the hipster millionaire prints it features. I approve!” www.singledress.com

The Center For Aesthetic Dentistry—This attractive dentist, Katherine Ahn, was on hand to talk pearly whites with the attentive guests. (Who in Hollywood doesn’t want to have a brighter smile?!) They were gifting home whitening kits, and we all entered a drawing to win a professional sesh in her office. Here’s hoping I’m one of the winners! (If you need sunglasses when you see me approaching, you know that I did!) www.thecenterad.com

Photo by Karen Salkin.

Fit For a Belle–The very first thing I noticed when I walked out to the gifting area was a young blond girl wearing a gorgeous pink and blue pullover sweatshirt. I couldn’t get over to her table fast enough. It turns out that she has recently lost a lot of weight, (just like I have!,) so she decided to design a cute line of fitness clothing to make work-outs more fun for everyone. And trust me, anything I do in this attire from now on will be more fun because of it! www.fitforabelle.com

Photo by Karen Salkin.

Sue Wong–I loved seeing one of my favorite designer’s gowns on display here, available for certain celebs to borrow for this award season. They were also showcasing several new fragrances from Sue’s fragrance line, while gifting her exquisite chiffon beaded shawls, which everyone in Hollywood covets. www.suewong.com

Master Pan—I’ve known about this multi-compartment pan for awhile now, but had never seen it in person before. Using it is like cooking a one-pan meal, but with all different areas so you can cook it all at once, without any of it touching! (I hate my food touching, especially before it’s all cooked!) www.masterpan.us

Photo by Karen Salkin.

Twisted Silver—Designer Debra Mitchell was, as usual, one of the most popular people there. So, rather than waiting for her hands-on jewelry advice, we chose to be assisted by a beautiful member of her staff, Cassidy Clark, who could not have been more pleasant or helpful. She proudly showed us the “Chai” pendant that they were gifting each guest, designed for just this occasion. But I, always marching to my own drummer, (sort-of like Debra herself does,) was more attracted to a silver big-chain bracelet. And guess what it’s moniker is? Ball and Chain, which is what I am to Mr. X, so of course I love it! www.twisted-silver.com

Photo by Karen Salkin.

Di Snapback Caps–While I was showing Lou the cool caps, the rep from the company told me they now also make really hip baggy shorts. (The “really hip” part are my words, not his.) I can’t wait to see them on basketball courts everywhere! www.disnapback.com

Photo by Karen Salkin.

Faux Pas Womenswear–Trust me, these designs are no faux pas! Each gift bag contained a different kind of work-out wear for women, including mouth-watering cobalt blue bike shorts, and the cutest little top with tiny pirate scenes all over it. This clothing may even inspire me to get to the gym! (Or at least look cute making believe that’s where I’m heading.) www.fauxpasapparel.com

Art of Real Estate—Northern California realtor, Debbi DiMaggio, was on-site gifting her book on the subject. Lou (who knows more about this topic than I do) said, “Debbi’s informative book is a helpful client-first guide for people who are thinking about wading into the unique residential home-buying market.” www.debbidimaggio.com

Photo by Karen Salkin.

My Saint, My Hero—Lou was impressed with this line of “knitted and robust” blessing bracelets, whose company motto is “One Love, One World.” He said, “Once it’s on your wrist, it promises to be your constant reminder about what’s truly important in life.” Amen to that, brother! www.mysaintmyhero.com

Yoga Guru Mahankirn’s Three-Minute Start—This peaceful woman was gifting her books and DVDs with tips on how to destress and “reboot” in three minutes, using her techniques, of course. She seemed pretty mellow herself, so it’s definitely worth a try! (And if it works, Mr. X and I just may beg her to move in with us!) www.mahankirn.com

Photo by Karen Salkin.

Spongelle—Lou checked-out the men’s line of these soap-filled buffing sponges, and told me he liked “the simple yet elegant black packaging; it shows the refinement of thought and purpose that went into every aspect of this product.” (Oh no–he’s better at this than I am!) He admired that the product is “billed as a ‘multi-use, multi-function scrub and body wash,’ with healthy extracts included to complement your bathing experience. These are small but vital details for those of us who love an elevated experience in everything we do, each moment of the day.” (I think this company needs to hire him, don’t you?!) www.spongelle.com

As guests entered, they also received a giant gift bag, perfect for gathering the wares. Even better, it came with some goodies already in there! Here are the highlight of those: Blue Can Water, (in a can, of course!,) which has a fifty-year shelf life; Telic squeezable plastic flip flops, which Lou said “offer tennis shoe level comfort and arch support, and are made in the USA too!”; a “suitable and classy” stainless steel wine sealer from Rabbit; and The Basic‘s Wallet Cash Coin and Key Holder, which Lou deems “every gym fanatic’s best friend!”

All in all, this was yet another very wonderful and satisfying event by the incredible Doris Bergman!

[Note: In this week leading up to the Oscars, I’ll be reviewing several of the top films of the year, the ones that I didn’t already get to before the SAG Awards. All of those reviews are still available in my archives, (which you can access on the right of this page,) but, because it’s the best film of the year, (or of any year!,) here’s the link to my review of The Revenant, so you don’t have to search for it: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/movie-review-the-revenant.]

“Steve” and his “daughter,” the latter of which gave the only credible performance in this whole film.

Steve Jobs is the only movie I saw this season that I absolutely hated!  On every level.

I didn’t buy any of the actors as their characters, except for the teen-age daughter at the end.

If Steve Jobs’ life was as boring as this film about it, no wonder he had to invent something to entertain himself!

I’m a fan of Kate Winslet, in general, but I have no idea how she keeps winning awards for this performance! I just don’t get it. She’s good, of course, but no better than what an actress at her level should be. What she did was so nothing special. And I had no idea what accent she was trying to affect. If she hadn’t mentioned in the film that she has a “funny accent,” I would have just thought she was speaking a bit weirdly, but that’s it. (The real-life woman, Joanna Hoffman, was born in Poland, but moved to the U.S. when she was twelve, so she should have no accent whatsoever.)

Michael Fassbender and Kate Winslet.

And Michael Fassbender’s lisp was really hard to listen to. I’m not very familiar with him, (having seen him previously in only that one small role in 12 Years A Slave,) so I don’t know if that was Steve Jobs’ speech impediment or Michael’s. (According to the internet, Steve Jobs did not lisp. As an almost-luddite myself, I never listened to his webinars, so I don’t have first-hand knowledge of it. And the topic is not important enough to me for me to waste any more of my time researching it.) His speech was so annoying. I had trouble listening to it.

And Michael’s performance was all on one level. Perhaps that’s how Steve Jobs really was, or how the script was written or directed. But it was a snoozefest and a half, for whatever reason. A boring subject is no excuse to come up with such a boring end product in film-making.

And since when was the real Steve Jobs the tiny one, while Steve Wozniak towered over him?! Hey director-ever hear of an apple box???

And the story seemed to be all on one level, as well. It didn’t move. I t made me more claustrophobic that the first half of Room!!! [Note: I’ll be reviewing that one in the next two days.]

I seriously had to force myself to keep watching Steve Jobs, just in case it picked-up, in any way. Any way at all. But, of course, it did not.

And my dislike of this film has nothing to do with my boredom on the subject. After all, I’m not a fan of bear-maulings, either, (hence this YouTube vid of mine: www.youtube.com/watch?v=spG8zu732hM,) but that didn’t deter my love of The Revenant!

And this is as deep as I want to delve into Steve Jobs. I was bored, annoyed, claustrophobic, and upset that it was using over two hours of my precious time. And writing this is just furthering that waste, so…The End.

Here’s a heads-up for my Twitter followers, whom I totally appreciate: I will be live-tweeting the Oscars on Sunday, beginning with as many arrivals as I can. @MajorCelebrity. If you don’t already follow me, there’s still time before the big show.

Sarah Hyland, the best-dressed, best-looking, best put-together person there, by far! Photo by Karen Salkin.

If you followed me on Twitter (@MajorCelebrity) during Sunday’s Emmys, I have to apologize for something. Though some of them were good, I was a bit disappointed in my own tweets on the arrivals interviews. But the majority of the interviews were so bad that I just could not bring myself to be that mean to point-out each one’s folly. I actually felt for the whole of show business! It’s gotten so unclassy. [Note: My tweets are still on my page, if you want to have a gander at them, anyway. And there are a couple of fun GIFs there, as well, including one of Sofia Vergara that I don’t think anyone else has!]

So I saved most of my snark, (and props, too,) for today, so let’s get to my thoughts on all the proceedings.

And yes, I did cut some a break because I felt so awful for these poor peeps in that brutal heat! I bet the rest of America was thrilled for those privileged peeps to be suffering like they were!

E ARRIVALS

Rayn Seacrest’s hair. Photo by Karen Salkin.

What was up with Ryan Seacrest‘s hair? Was it designed to give him more height?

Did any of you count the number of times the Rancic woman said “amazing” and “obsessed?” If it had been a drinking game, you all would have been drunk in about a minute!

I’m a fan of Kate McKinnon, but I didn’t know she speaks so creepy nasally because, since she does only skits on SNL, I’ve never heard her talk as herself before! Maybe she should have done the red carpet interviews as Justin Bieber!

The woman with Andy Samberg. (The box in front is an insert they were showing.) Photo by Karen Salkin.

Was Andy Samberg‘s date auditioning to play Frau Blucher in Young Frankenstein?  And Mr. X asked why she was wearing a doily?

When did Sarah Hyland get gorgeous? She was the best-looking, best-dressed female there! No contest! The other women should take note. Actually, lots of notes!!!

Laverne Cox is well-spoken.

I don’t know who Amy Shumer is, but why would someone so…hefty, shall we say, wear that dress?!  And had she just fallen out of bed with that scary hair?

Heidi Klum. I guess the woman on the bottom left was confused over her Big Bird look, too! Photo by Karen Salkin.

How did Cat Deeley get that pregnant in six days??? The finale of SYTYCD was just the Monday before the Emmys, and you couldn’t see anything!

I love, love, love Ricky Gervais!

Giuliana Rancic is finally taking our advice and wearing sleeves!  But it’s literally 100 degrees there, so weird timing on her part.  But it’s the best dress she’s ever worn.

The beginning of a question Ryan asked Heidi Klum was, “With so much access to designers…,”  and I though the rest of it would be, “…why would you wear this???” At least, that’s what it should have been!  She looked like an idiot in that canary yellow Big Bird outfit! Maybe she got confused and thought she was attending one of her own Halloween parties, and she was going as Mrs. Big Bird! And her face even looked old and tired and like she forgot to do her make-up.  She looked like a tired old soccer mom.

Taraji P. Henson. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Taraji P. Henson looked gorgeous!  Best hair she’s ever had! And perfect dress and make-up, too. She looked so cute.

It was perfect to witness a convo between the two biggest phony-talkers ever—Cat Deeley and Giuliana Rancic!!! I didn’t even need a spoon to gag me!

Is this Jaime Alexander woman an idiot to wear a long-sleeved skintight dress in 100 degrees??? The answer is yes! [Note: Okay, now I’m cooking with gas! Back to my old self here.]

Christina Hendricks is so heavy, and has pointy teeth, so why does she think she’s so attractive?! (Remember when she got pissed at an interviewer who mentioned her weight?) And why would she wear a long-sleeved heavy-material dress in that heat?! Does she not know enough to check the forecast?!

Christina Hendricks. Photo by Karen Salkin.

How rude of the Rancic woman to bring up Padma Lashmi‘s age!!! I’ve really never seen that before!

Mindy Kaling is so bad-looking, but she seems so sweet.

I love my birthday-mate, LL Cool J! As his name states, he is so cool! (We were at a party together in New York a few years back, and he could not have been nicer or more real. He even offered to watch my coat for me, so I could walk around unencumbered!)

Anthony Anderson lost a lot of weight.  Good for him!!!

And his teen-age son is gorgeous!  And so mature and well-spoken!  Love him!  [That’s Anthony and his beautiful son in the big photo at the top.]

Rob Lowe and his wife. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Rob Lowe is even more gorgeous than ever, and his poor wife is just not good-looking. It happens to all couples—the man gets better-looking, and woman goes the other way—but it happened to them in spades!

This was the absolute best that Gina Rodriquez ever looked!

The best-dressed, by far, was Sarah Hyland.

Allison Janney. Photo by Karen Salkin.

And I especially love her for this little exchange about the Emmys with dreadful interviewer, Giuliana Rancic: G–“Why is it so special, year after year?” Sarah–“I don’t know why it wouldn’t be special!  It’s the Emmys! It’s the celebration of television!”  “You idiot” understood.  Great answer, Sarah! Perhaps the best one ever!

Allison Janney may be a good actress, and probably even a nice person, but she was displaying back fat, was swayback, and that dress featured her little, floppy, different length and shape boobs, which was far from attractive.

Great black dress and green jewelry on Julie Bowen.

It looks like Mayim Bialik was getting a head-start on Yom Kippur. (I can say that because I’m Jewish, too. But I wouldn’t go to an awards show look like that.)

Claire Danes, the Human Hanger. Photo by Karen Salkin.

But I love her for saying,”I’m not only a neuroscientist in real life, I get to play one on TV.”  She’s the only one there who can state that!!!!  And she said it with a straight face, to boot!

Good for Sarah Paulson to have pointed-out to Giuliana that she asked the same inane question that everyone has asked!  That truly made my day. (Giuliana said that she thought she was the only one who came up with it. A five-year-old could have come up with that one! And probably did!)

Claire Danes‘ body look just like a clothes hanger in that dress!  Why would she feature her non-existent cleavage like that???

CHANNEL 5 ARRIVALS

Niecy Nash. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The co-host, (with Sam Rubin,) Jessica Homes, does look adorable pregnant.  She said she’s nine months along, which means she’s expecting any second, but she looked better than just about everyone else there!  She shouldn’t have even been there!  She should have been home resting!  And she was even wearing heels, which is just nuts of her.

It looks like Niecy Nash lost a ton of weight, in her perfect red gown! Good for her, whether she did or it was just the dress.

The two ultra-annoying hosts gave their guests all the bum’s rush off their podium.

Did Tayrn Manning think it was the middle of winter, in her heavy, long-sleeved, black dress???

Is that Bradley Whitford or Truman Capote? Photo by Karen Salkin.

The hosts told Amy Shumer to give them her non-winning speech, so she did. In it, she threatened to blow-up the other nominees in their cars after the show, and they should say good-bye to their families!  How creepy and uncomfortable.  That a supposed comedian would think that’s a funny thing to say makes me worry about the business. Or just her.

Mr. X noted that Bradley Whitford is turning into Truman Capote.

And that’s it for this year’s Emmys! But the festivities don’t stop here; I still have all the attendant Gifting Suites to tell you about! Tomorrow is Yom Kippur, so, of course, no new column then. But the five-day suites coverage will begin bright and early on Thursday morning! And, if you’re of my ethnic persuasion, I wish you an easy fast, with lots of excellent (and probably necessary) atoning!