I don’t know if you know this about me, but, as much as I love Los Angeles, and always have tons of fun in my own backyard, I also love discovering new areas of California, especially if they’re not too far away. But, besides that I never seem to have any time to explore, even before the pandemic, you know that hermitic Mr. X doesn’t like to leave his home base much. (Unless it’s to go to Home Depot, of course.) So we’ve rarely ever traveled anywhere, except for work. (I’m not complaining, because both of our careers have taken us to many wonderful places; I’m just explaining.)

A pretty area of Orange County. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Enter Laura, one of my contributing writers and, more importantly, my most fun friend in years. We laugh about our many differences, (like that one of us adores make-up and nail polish, and the other shuns those cosmetics enhancements,) but we’re on so many of the same wavelengths. And exploring is a major one of them.

So, when we recently met a dentist from Ladera Ranch, (which, of course, we had never heard of, but later found-out is in Orange County,) we were interested. He told us that a specialty of his office is teeth whitening, (which I feel that everyone with natural choppers needs from time to time,) so we decided to take a day trip down there to check it out.  And then we just lingered.  For hours.

We so adored just about everything we did down there that Laura suggested I share some of our adventures with you, in case you’d like to emulate our trip. I’ll go in order.

The well-stocked water fridge in the dentist’s office. Photo by Karen Salkin.

First up was our teeth whitening at that dental office, Hales Parker. Let me tell you—the whole place was spacious, beautiful, and actually elegant. I’ve never seen anything like it before, even in Beverly Hills! The ladies who manned the front desk, Randy and Stacey, could not have been lovelier. And, as an H2O guzzler, I really appreciated that the glass-covered mini-fridge, (located right below the complimentary coffee and tea station,) was loaded with tons of bottles of cold water for us to partake in whenever the need arose.

Claudia and Lucia did our procedures, and stayed with us the whole time, explaining every step of the process. I had never had it done that way before, so it was comforting to know they were there the whole time. It was all new to Laura, who had never had her teeth whitened before; she was ecstatic with the results. And as the icing on the cake, all three cute young dentists stopped in to chill with us for a few minutes. It felt more like a fun frat party, (but at a high-class institution like Stanford,) than a dentist visit, which you know I loved! When does that ever happen?!

We had planned on having Afternoon Tea while we were down there. I had literally spent weeks researching places in the area, even though I had no idea what part of SoCal we’d be in. Laura had just taken me to tea in LA for my birthday earlier that week, so we were really looking forward to enjoying another one so soon, especially since that repast is hard to find in our neck of the woods. I had narrowed it down to about eight places in Orange County, and then Stacey and Randy had narrowed it down even further for us. We all agreed on The Tearoom at Los Rios, and from the pictures on-line, Laura and my mouths were watering for that fare.

The outside of The Tearoom at Los Rios. Photo by Karen Salkin.

But—and this is a major but—when Claudia finished doing my whitening, she told me the aftercare rules. She said for the next twenty-four hours, “No coffee or red wine,” to which I retorted, “I don’t ever drink either, so no problem.” And then she continued her list, “And no tea.” I heard Hitchcock music in my mind when I heard those dreaded words! So that was it for our planned and appetite-whetting Afternoon Tea. We were heartbroken.

But Stacey told us that there are some good places to eat around there, anyway, so we decided to explore the entire area. And that’s how we wound-up in the legendary town of San Juan Capistrano, for both of our first time ever! After scouting for a fun eatery, (we were starving at that point,) I remembered that Stacey had suggested Trevor’s at the Track’s. So that’s where we headed.

Part of the massive patio at Trevor’s at the Tracks, with Alex Toto on music. Photo by Karen Salkin.

And it was the perfect choice for that chilly-yet-crisp afternoon. We got to sit outside on their gigantic patio, at a table right next to the fireplace, overlooking the actual train tracks, (although we never saw a train itself.)  The poutine, (fries with gravy, and in this case, melted cheese,) was perfect, the entire restaurant was full of interesting spaces, and the whole time we were serenaded by Alex Toto, who accompanied himself on guitar. And all the people who worked there were nice. (Well, being completely honest, except for the woman who manned the separate cookie area.) So, perhaps we’ll go back there one day to do a full review of the place.

When we were done eating, we decided to torture ourselves and check-out the tea place, to see what we were missing. And it appeared that we were, indeed, missing a lot! The Tearoom at Los Rios is adorbs! So we hope to have the opportunity to review it for you, as well. (Now we want a full week-end there, not just a day trip! You always need to continue relaxing after Afternoon Tea!)

The interesting thing is that all of those adorable and charming places are in that same area along the train tracks! Those San Juan Capistrano denizens sure have it good!

Photo by Karen Salkin.

And all of that is only two hours away from Los Angeles! It was a revelation to us.

Even the drive was fun. We noticed plenty of unique drive-thrus along the way, but, alas, we didn’t have time for them. But that just means more for us to do on our next trip down there.

To ease us back into civilization, (i.e. LA,) we stopped at a–don’t judge us–99 cent store on the way back home, and even that felt a bit different from the ones here!

But don’t get me wrong—I was thrilled to be back home in the city that I’ve loved since I was a teen. That little trip just reminded me to explore the not-too-far-away towns more often, now that we’re emerging from the main throes of the pandemic. And to not wait for another excuse, (such as our newly-pearly whites,) to do so!

Photo by Karen Salkin.

After sitting-out last year’s Jump Into Ireland fete, I was happy to return to it. I love that they often switch-up the venue, and this year held two surprises for us.

It was due to be held at the Four Seasons in Westlake Village, which is beautiful, but very hard for most local Angelenos to get to on a week night. And since I was also invited to several other events that same night, in locations much closer to me, I was a bit iffy on attending.

But, because of the horrendous fires in that area, the soiree had to be moved to the Beverly Wilshire Hotel, which was not only much more convenient for yours truly, but I’m sure for most attendees. And I have to laud that hotel for doing such a commendable job on that short notice. They really made it beautiful.

Carrie Malloy dancing. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The first part of the evening was a cocktail mingle in a room at the top of the winding staircase in the banquet half of the hotel. It was on the floor where Mr. X had thrown my very extravagant thirtieth birthday party, so I loved that memory of climbing those stairs back then, not knowing of the surprise that awaited me. (And the shock of my celebration featuring not one, but three strippers that my talent manager had thought would be a good idea, before the shock of the second one, dressed as a cop, brought it all to a screeching halt!)

Karen Salkin and Carrie Malloy, in their matching Irish Dance ensembles. Photo by Imaan Jalali.

We mingled and met with the representatives of cities and hotels in Ireland. I keep waiting for this Tourism Ireland group to have a press junket so that I can finally visit them all! Especially the places that serve afternoon tea! Some of the reps plied me with images of theirs to whet my appetite, both literally and figuratively!

In addition to the passed appetizers and open bar, what really caught my attention were two attractions in that room. There was a duo playing lovely Irish music all night, along with Irish dancer Carrie Malloy. She has her own Irish dance school in town, so I may just go study up so I can join in the fun next year. (Funny sidebar: As I was getting dressed to go out that night, donning my kelly green dress, black tights, and flat ankle boots, I told Mr. X that I might be mistaken for the dancer. And after Carrie performed in a much fancier dress, she changed into—almost my exact same outfit!!! Even I didn’t know which one of us was the entertainer for the night!)

Karen Salkin and Roz Wolf. You can see part of Ireland on the bottom of Karen’s outfit, where her jacket opens, because she was wearing a green dress!

The other perk of that portion of the evening, which was new this year, was that we each got a photo of ourselves…in Ireland! Of course, it was taken against a green screen, so the background could be filled in with their stock photo. But I was wearing all green, so my pic looked like just a head, with a lot of hair, in the middle of the countryside! It looked pretty amusing, but we redid it with my jacket pulled shut. I’m just lucky that my five green eye shadows, and all my green jewelry, didn’t mess-up the picture any further. (But, in case you’re wondering, I made my nails purple this time, so I would totally match the green-and-purple canvas bags we always get at this fete.)

The musical duo. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Then we moved downstairs to a different room, all bathed in green light. [Note: See the pic at the top of this page.] I right away knew what Dorothy felt like in the Emerald City! It was all so beautiful!

This is where they did the little Jump Into Ireland presentations, to demonstrate a bit of what the different areas are like.

When that was over, we moved on to the elegant, generous, sumptuous dinner buffet. The first part was the best salad bar I’ve ever come upon. There were three different types of deconstructed salads, which means they provided all the ingredients separately, so we could choose just the ones we like. They must have known that picky moi would be there!

Part of the salad selections. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Then came the hot foods buffet, highlighted by sea bass and lamb chops, (neither of which I eat, but oh well. There were plenty of side dishes and desserts for me!)

All the while, we were serenaded by that strings duo again. My friend and I had such a good time that we were among the last to leave!

So, hopefully, I’ll make it to their rich green country before this time next year. And you’ll find me in one of their hotels feasting on afternoon tea!

I recently encountered the strange coincidence that this annual party for Tourism Ireland fell on the same night as the opening of The Beauty Queen of Leenane, an Irish play in town! That meant that I got double-use out of all my fabulous green attire, accessories, and even eye make-up that I was rockin’ that night! So, yay to that part.

Photo by Karen Salkin.

But, sadly for me, it also meant that I could attend only the cocktail and meet-and-greet portion of this “Jump Into Ireland” soiree, and not stay for the later presentation and dinner, which was all held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills.

But, no matter. It just meant that I had to be more prudent about my time there. While my pal, Alice, took care of taking pictures, and sampling the passed hors d’oeuvres (because they were all ones that I could not eat—lamb, fish, cheese, and beef,) I got to chat with every rep from the different areas of Ireland, and from the many lodgings and activities that await us there, should I ever have the good fortune to visit that gorgeous-looking country. Now I’m all set on exactly where to go, and what to do there.

The Irish step-dancer, performing right in front of our eyes! (Doesn’t she look a bit like Jennifer Morrison?) Photo by Alice Farinas.

I spoke with owners of bed-and-breakfasts, representatives of luxury hotels, (I was delighted to discover that some even serve afternoon tea!,) and agents for fun things to do once I’m there and settled, like taking a train ride across the countryside.

But the best part came when I handed my business card to one amiable gent. Most people don’t even look at the cards they receive; this guy was aware enough to notice not just the title of this e-zine, but also all my witticisms in the the tiny print! And I’m proud to say that he loved it all! He told me that not only was it the “winner” of the night, but that it was the best card he’s ever seen! You know that my mission in life is to entertain people, so this chance meeting made my night.

Even without eating or drinking anything, the cocktail hour proved fruitful for me. I met some lovely people, and got to also chat with my favorite server at that hotel, Victor.

The trio of musicians on the right, with the step-dancer taking a break, on the left. Photo by Karen Salkin.

All the while, we were treated to upbeat authentic entertainment. There was a musical trio, and even an Irish step-dancer! I loved seeing that magical art so up-close and personal!

I’m so sorry that I could not stay for the wonderful corned beef and cabbage (and all the trimmings) dinner that was to come, (I’m familiar with it from last year,) nor the little skits they usually do to show us the treats that are in store for us once we “Jump Into Ireland,” but I promise that the second this group organizes a press junket, I will be happy to join in, and tell you everything about it! After all, I’m already all set with my wardrobe!

I was happy to paint my fingernails three shades of green, and don a kelly green dress, to attend this year’s Tourism Ireland dinner. Even though they usually switch up how they do it, and at what venue, this year’s fete returned to the classy Beverly Hilton Hotel, in Beverly Hills, (of course,) although it was held in a different area of the hotel than it was last year.

The three Irish musicians. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The first part of the evening was the cocktail hour. It featured a generous bar, and passed trays of several attractive appetizers.  Best of all, we got to walk around and chat with the reps of the different areas of Ireland, which my friend, Lauren, took full advantage of.  She and I both hope to visit that country in the near future, and she’s a better planner than I am, so she got the scoop on it all, for both of us.

While Lauren mingled, I got to enjoy the wonderful trio of musicians who entertained us throughout, which was my favorite part of the cocktail hour. They even had a “river-dancer” along for the ride, and every time she got up to dance, she had my total attention.

The fare on each table during the presentation. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Then the assemblage moved on to the presentation portion of the festivities.  We sat at tables of four, each adorned with a lovely cheese and fruit platter, along with some Irish soda bread, which tided us over until the dinner.

The presentation included videos and beautiful pictures of Ireland. (The ones of Dublin were especially stunning.) They let us know about all the various areas, resorts, and places of interest the country has to offer. Some of it was very interesting, such as finding-out that the Ireland-headquartered Waterford Crystal are the people who make the exquisite New Year’s Eve ball for Times Square. (I was glad when the man told us, “They release it, not drop it.” That’s important when you’re talking crystal!) I’ve seen many of Tourism Ireland’s past presentations, as well, and I must admit that they could really make it shorter next year; they had us at “Ireland!”

Some of the highlights were: 1) Deborah O’Brien, the rep for The Glenlo Abbey Hotel in Galway, who mentioned the magic words—afternoon tea! If ever I get to the Emerald Isle, you know I’m heading straight for her resort! 2) There was a speaker named Declan O’Brien, which just hit me as the perfect Irish name! 3) One of the presenters mentioned that everyone who visits the country must stay in an Irish castle at least one time. I totally second that! Except that then I may never come back to Los Angeles after that.  4) When they were showing us the many golf courses, they referenced their golf icon, Rory McElroy, just in case we forgot that he’s Irish.

The dessert buffet. Photo by Karen Salkin.

When the presentation ended, we were treated to a delicious, creative buffet. There was something for everyone, even newly-dietary-challenged me!

Lauren enjoyed the sautéed Irish filet of salmon with lemon parsley sauce, and though my mouth was watering for the roasted Irish honey-mustard-marinated corn beef with wild berry sauce, (OMG—what a moniker!,) since I can’t eat it anymore, I was thrilled to see the unusual and lovely assortment of vegetables on offer. There were green peas with mint, glazed carrots with bacon, roasted fingerling potatoes (in two colors,) asparagus with hollandaise sauce, sautéed parsnip with walnuts, and mashed potatoes with kale, which were downright heavenly!

The trio entertained us at the end, as well, but from the stage this time. The woman on the left is the dancer. Photo by Karen Salkin.

We finished the evening with an elegant dessert buffet, which included truffles, petit fours, and a chocolate mint mousse that I thought Lauren was going to marry. (And she is not a dessert girl!) While everyone enjoyed their treats, they raffled off a beautiful Waterford crystal piece, and I’m sad to say I’m not the one who won. But there’s always next year. Knock on wood.

We all still went away happy. After all that Guinness, I think I even saw some guests do an Irish jig out of there!

Here’s the final installment of my trilogy about my trip to San Francisco with Mr. X a few months ago. This one is about our dining experiences, (back when I could eat everything,) so, of course, it’s probably the most universally-interesting.

A trip out-of-town would never be complete without trying at least some of the local cuisine. If I had the room in my stomach, I would just eat my way through every day of any excursion.

But, shockingly, the best meal I had during our four days in San Francisco was a home-made one, courtesy of my great friends, the Zarkas. (If you missed it, you can read all about them, and our trip in general, here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/travel-my-trip-to-san-francisco-part-i-my-review. And you can read Mr. X’s take on the whole shebang here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/travel-our-trip-to-san-francisco-part-ii-mr-xs-take.)

The rest of the time, though, we had to dine in eateries, much to my delight and Mr. X’s chagrin. (I don’t know if I mentioned it in the previous columns about our trip up north, but we were put up in a hotel with no room service! I don’t know how Mr. X made it through!)

So, here’s the quick run-down on the places we ate while up there, in the order that we visited them:

WING LUM

We were starving when we finally arrived at our hotel, and I noticed a place next door; it served bar food, which I love. But we had invited our new-ish pal, Gus, (he’s a long, fun story, but for another time, but I explained who he is in the first column in this series, if you really need to know now,) to come along, and he seemed to have his heart set set on getting Chinese food. Since Mr. X and I always aim to please others, we acquiesced.  (Gus didn’t insist, or anything like that; like us, he would have been fine with any food at that point.) Of course, it was San Francisco, so I figured that’s the place to eat Chinese food, anyway.

But not only was Wing Lum’s food not anything special, (we chose it solely because it was literally around the corner,) but it, like our hotel, had no air-conditioning!!! OMG. What’s with these Northerners?!

We were the only customers, which should have given us pause. But, like I said, we were ravenous. The food was neither good nor bad—it satisfied our hunger, so that was that. But the heat of the place–not the food—made me miserable. At least I got a spot-on fortune! (It read: “People are naturally attracted to you!”)

TOMMY’S JOYNT

Photo by Karen Salkin.

Billed as “one of San Francisco’s longest living institutions,” I just don’t get how it got to become so. But, after our less-than-satisfying lunch, and a much-needed nap, we were in need of a late dinner. Contrary to how hotels are in New York, (and a lot of other places, too,) we didn’t have many choices near our Hotel Carlton, which we were told was in Nob Hill, but, as we horrifyingly found-out, was instead a block away from the uber-seedy Tenderloin District! (Again, I refer you to the two previous days’ columns.)

Just then, my semi-local pal, Dave called, and, knowing that I never just want food but rather an experience, he directed us to this walking-distance classic. (Several people at the hotel told us exactly which straight lines to walk, though, and warned us, in very ominous tones, to not veer off that path!)

Tommy’s Joynt is the opposite of the cushy situation I was craving at that point. It’s dark, dirty, and you have to stand on line for your food, with a lot of questionable-looking folks. Dave, (and everyone in line!,) told us to order the hand-carved meats. But Mr. X isn’t a basic meat eater, and the look of it was not appealing to me. So, I went with the spaghetti and meatballs, and he choose salmon, which came with a slop of white rice. Ugh. Strange choices for that place, I know. Why do they even have them on the menu???

Mr. X said his salmon was “old-tasting,” and while my meatballs themselves were delish, the spaghetti was only lukewarm, rubbery, slimy, and had no taste whatsoever.

The one fun thing was a take-your-own pickle barrel. Neither of us are pickle fans, but we had a few, anyway, just because we were in need of some flavor. And also because, like a little kid, I enjoyed getting them, (and teaching other newbies how to do it!)

But, it was good enough, a unique experience, and here’s the best part–after navigating a hooker-and-scary-guys path back to the hotel at midnight, we arrived safely!

SAHA

The French Toast. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Because of the no-room-service sitch, we did the next best thing for brunch the following morning—ate at Saha, the restaurant in the hotel. It’s touted to be always voted in the Top 2 or 3 of SF eateries, which is good.

But it was empty that day. No prob—more food for us!

The food is described as “a unique blend of Yemenese Arabic Cuisine, and boundary-pushing California cuisine with French hints mixed in for good measure.” Oysh. But our food was just basic breakfast fare. I went with French Toast drowning in with berry and banana compote, while Mr. X opted for one of the quintet of e-words Benedict. He enjoyed his so much that he went back the next day, and brought it up to the room.

But guess what? They don’t allow you to take knives and forks back to your room, sort-of like prison. And the airlines!!! So, someone had to slip the utensils to him. I just hope it wasn’t the guy who had turned me down the day before!

The brunch experience wasn’t a total loss for me, though–I was fascinated by the soap opera-esque life story of our amiable waitress, Kate. But Mr. X almost tore a muscle kicking me under the table. He’s the opposite of a yenta! She was an adorable character, and I was happy to lend an incredulous ear. (And, she was the only pal I had at the next evening’s “cocktail hour,” that Mr. X had to miss because he was still working on the set!)

MR. HOLMES BAKEHOUSE

My New Best Friend, Kate, told us of this famous, lines-around-the-block bakery. We missed the famous cruffins, (which are a rip-off of New York’s really famous cronuts, and the reason for the morning queue,) but this place was just right around the corner from the hotel, so we had to give it a shot, right?  (When we used to stay at La Fonda in Santa Fe, one of our favorite activities was going to the adjacent bakery and taking-out a boxful of beautiful pastries every day. And that’s when I was skinny! Boy, could I eat back then! But, anyway, that’s what I was expecting from this place, but it was not to be.)

The girl who waited on us was kind-of stupid and nasty, which put me in a bad mood. They had very limited inventory, and nothing appealed to me at all, save for the chocolate chip cookies. But those were $4. apiece!!!  What a rip-off!  Mr. X, (who’s so generous that he likes to pay just a little over retail,) bought us a bunch anyway, and I do have to admit they were delicious! And came in handy when there was no other chow around a couple of times. (I wish I had some right now! And was allowed to still eat them!)

A&W

Photo by Karen Salkin.

As my friend Dave and I were on our long drive from San Francisco to his home in Placerville, we finally pulled off the road to find a rest room. All of a sudden, in the outdoor shopping center, I saw a free-standing A&W! I thought it was a mirage! I hadn’t seen one since I was a teen-ager! I don’t even like root beer, (as a matter of fact, I hate it,) but I thought it was the most exotic place when I first saw one in Los Angeles.

I thought they had all closed long ago, so I implored Dave to let us take the time to go in and get a Baby Burger. We did, and I was jumping for joy. Until I tried it; it was kind-of gross. How disappointing. I don’t know what I had been expecting, really; I didn’t remember the taste of the burgers from back in the day, just that it was a cute, different place near my WLA apartment. It wasn’t a food whose passing I lament; it’s just the idea of it. So, at least I had that moment of happiness, just ordering this recent burger.

I was glad that we also shared an order of the nauseatingly-monikered “Cheese Curds.” (I guess they’re trying to get in on the new-ish “poutine” craze!) And they were, as billed, “Curiously Delicious!” They, of course, aren’t a nostalgic choice, but they definitely tided me over until that meal I told you earlier was my fave of the trip—the one that Deb had waiting for us when we arrived at their abode.

SWEETIE PIE’S

Photo by Karen Salkin.

Dave and Deb took me to breakfast at this place in their very cute town of Placerville. Dave had mentioned it to me on the phone a few months before, when we both thought I would never get up there. The Zarkas were on the way there on that day I called them, and when he mentioned it, I immediately had to look it up on-line. And, despite there being no chocolate chip pancakes, my mouth was watering to go there! And now I got to! Yay!

It was a pretty hot day, and guess what? This was yet another place with no AC! I was dying to eat in the adorbs interior, but there was no way I could sit in the very hot inside. It turned-out to be just as much fun sitting outside with these two, though.

I took a bite of Dave’s plain buttermilk pancakes, and they were actually heavenly! My dish of potatoes, with gravy, was just okay; I should have made it clear that my country potatoes needed to be really well done. (I kept pilfering some of Deb’s unadorned ones.)

But the absolutely gigundo buttermilk biscuits that came with them saved the day! I not only had one, with butter and the interesting olallieberry jam, in the hotel later, while waiting for Mr. X to get back from the set, but he and I shared one before leaving for the airport the next morning! And they were really delish! (I’m actually craving one right now!)

With the word “Bakery” in their title, Sweetie Pie’s is known for their desserts, but, sadly for us, they were out of chocolate chip cookies, which would have hit the spot for Deb and me. Can’t wait to try one next time!

FLY BAR & RESTAURANT

The brown and white awning to the left is our hotel.

We ended our food tour of the Bay area with this place that we had wanted to eat at the very second we arrived three days earlier! It was right next door to the hotel, which made it the perfect choice for this final night of the trip.  Mr. X and Our New Best Friend, Gus, had been working for over twelve hours that day, with very limited food, and I hadn’t eaten since breakfast, (except for one of those emergency cookies and biscuits I mentioned earlier,) so we were all pretty hungry.

It was your basic bar food, but some of it was really good. Mr. X had taken-out a pizza from there the night before, while I was feasting on a home-cooked meal from the Zarkas.

The guys let me do all the ordering, (duh,) and I did a pretty good job of it. At Mr. X’s suggestion, we had the Margherita Pizza, which was good, (but not as good as he thought it was!) We had a salad that we all loooved. But, unfortunately I can’t tell you the deets because their website is nutso, and doesn’t have any menu items on it! Shame. We remember that it had fruits and nuts in it, though.

Mr. X said I chose too much cheese because, in addition to the pizza, I ordered two cheesy appetizers. After all, I was trying to feed two hungry men! So, we tried the spinach and artichoke dip, (which was the worst one I’ve ever had!,) and baked brie, which came with the same dead bread as the dip. I was expecting a crusty baguette, but what we got was chewy rubber. So, those two dishes were a bust. But we were already full anyway.

And, this place is great to have right next door to the hotel. If ever you stay at the Hotel Carlton, in addition to asking a big, “Why?!,” I recommend getting some of your meals from Fly.

And, Ladies and Gentlemen, that is all she wrote for San Francisco! Or rather, all I did! Hope it was helpful. Or at least, entertaining. Or, best yet, both!

The lobby of the Hotel Carlton. Photo by Karen Salkin.

In case you missed yesterday’s column, Mr. X and I spent a long (and I do mean loooong) week-end in San Francisco this past July. He was doing a commercial, and I got to go along for the ride. (If you missed my part of the review, you can read it here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/travel-my-trip-to-san-francisco-part-i-my-review.)

So, now, for the first time ever, and with great pride, I bring you the review of a guest columnist—Mr X! [Note: My only addition is in brackets, like this one is.] Here’s his take on the hotel the production company chose for us, (which is really an email he wrote to a pal, that I purloined to share with you all!):

OUR SAN FRANCISCO TRIP—BY MR. X!

Did a commercial in San Francisco last week-end.  Stayed at the Hotel Carlton that was made famous (to me) as the hotel that Paladin lives in in the fictional Have Gun Will Travel.

Snazz, the lobby entertainer. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The good:

Every person at the hotel was kind, sweet, and attentive.  A one-man band called Snazz performs in the lobby from 5PM to 6PM while free wine is served.  A good pizza joint/bar is right next door, a highly renowned restaurant is on the premises, and the warm rooms are painted in soft pastels.  [And he does mean “warm,” in every sense.]

The bad:

Heading to San Francisco?  Check out the Carlton Hotel.  Not to be confused with the stuffy Ritz of the same name, the Carlton is located just of few short blocks from the action-packed Tenderloin District where the street meets anyone with a yen for dramatic confrontation.

The view out our window. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Not to worry about summer travel because, forget air-conditioning, our fourth floor rooms are equipped with ceiling fans and windows that look out onto the expansive roof of the Halstead Gray Funeral Home.

Need ice?  It’s just a lazy ride down to the lobby in our cozy 4’x4′ elevators.

Can’t sleep from the heat?  No problem.  Just open your carjack-friendly window.  Still too hot? Again, no problem.  Simply open your room door in the middle of the night to create a nice cross-ventilating breeze that’ll cool you off until you’re tired of jumping at every noise, thinking someone’s walking down the corridor.  And with that window open, lucky you will notice there’s plenty of Frisco action till about 4 AM in the form of sporadic gun shots, police sirens, car alarms, and the occasional unexplained very loud explosion.  All of which is flavored by the soothing sounds of drunks fighting.  Just a short stroll from home base, and you can take in our unique local color as you encounter flamboyant hookers and multiple homeless people walking in circles.

So come on up to the Carlton where the risk of air-conditioning-caused Legionnaires’ Disease is zero.

[Note: In this month of giving thanks, I want to tell you about a few days that I’m grateful to have had in July. To do the story justice, I need three days to tell it all, so I’ve been saving it until I had consecutive ones available for the saga. So, please make sure to come back for the next two parts. One will even feature my very first guest columnist!]

During the final week-end of this summer’s Wimbledon tennis tourney, (which ended so badly for me that I can’t even ever discuss it,) Mr. X and I spent a few days in San Francisco.

San Franciso. Photo by Karen Salkin.

We were in town because he was doing a commercial there, (which ran for a long while after that. Yay!)  Even though he’s intense when he works, (and, actually, all the time—he’s Italian!,) he brought me along.  A lot of issues had been getting to me at that time, and, even though I had never before had a good time in that area, I really needed a little break from LA.  (I just realized—in all my years here in Los Angeles, the town that I adopted when I was just a teen-ager, I had never before stayed put for a whole year without a trip somewhere, usually New York.  At the point of my SF trip, I hadn’t left town for well over fourteen months!  Wow. I guess I was experiencing something akin to island fever.)

So, here are our reviews of that week-end.  I’ll leave out the part about the hotel and surroundings for now, and will bring you those deets in Part II, which contains—wait for it—a review from Mr. X himself!!!  For the first time ever in this e-zine!

And then the following column will be my reviews of the many places we dined at in those few days.

The California State Capitol in Sacramento. Photo by Karen Salkin.

But here now is my story of the good parts of that week-end! (But, weirdly, most of those were without Mr. X!  Read on to see why.):

We had to fly separately because of a glitch in his schedule.  But, as stressed as I was about getting there alone, (I’m a wimpy traveler,) it all worked-out.  My great friend, Curtis, took me to the airport, which sent me off in the right mood.  And even the airport wait was okay because I got to watch Roger Federer’s beautiful semi-final win over Andy Murray, on my iPad.  (But please never mention the subsequent Final to me, ever.)  I was seated in the first row of the plane, and an adorable teen-ager, Moses, sat in my row, and made the time fly.

Mr. X, who rarely goes out to eat (because he thinks sitting in a restaurant is a waste of time) had to go out to four meals there with me!  I loved it!  One was really good and three were pretty weak.  (You can read all about them in the upcoming Part III.)

The beautiful sunset at the Zarkas gorgoeus home in Placerville. Photo by Karen Salkin.

And, even though the bed was half the size of the one we sleep in at home, and the hotel had no AC nor room service, (deets tomorrow,) we laughed the whole time we were together.  I don’t think we had even one fight there!  (I guess we were just too hot and uncomfortable to argue.  And we were united in our anger at others, mainly the situation, to be angry with each other.)

But this is why I had a beautiful time up north: It was because of Dave and Deb Zarka.

The experience made me think of some show business stupidity I saw many years ago.  For some unknown reason, Jerry Lewis was given a talk show.  On his very first show, he said this, that’s stuck with me for all these years: ”The best wish I could ever wish you is to have people in show business as friends.”  How shallow and weird.  But I thought of that statement recently when I realize that I now wish everyone (well, all good, deserving people,) a friend like the Zarkas!!!  When I tell people what they did for me, they’re all amazed.

Photo by Karen Salkin.

Here’s the quick backstory: I met Dave through mutual pals when neither of us had been in LA very long.  But he then moved up north and married Deb (with my major approval,) and, as life goes, we lost touch.  And then, just a year ago, Deb, thankfully, put us back in touch.  (Most wives I know make their husbands stop talking to me!  How dumb.  Deb is one in a million!)  Talking to Dave all the time is like having a wonderful brother.  But I couldn’t imagine when we would ever get to see each other again; they don’t come to LA, and I don’t go to San Fran.

But when Mr. X’s talent gave me this wonderful opportunity, I jumped right on it.  I called Dave, and asked, “How far are you guys from San Francisco?”  My big plans were crushed when he answered, “Over two hours!  I said, “Well, that’s the end of that.”  When I explained the situation, Dave said, without skipping a beat, “Of course I’ll go get you!!!”  For just a day!  He even planned to bring me back to their house for dinner, and then return me to the hotel that same night!!!  How unbelievably kind is that???  (I have that friend in New York, Lauren, who’s like that, too.  Believe me, I’m always a grateful girl.)

Sausalito. Photo by Karen Salkin.

But Mr. X said I should stay over with them for that Saturday night; he was working on Sunday, anyway, and he didn’t want Dave to drive five hours round-trip in one day for me!  (Dave actually drove much more than that—because of the crazy traffic up there, especially on a week-end, it took him three and a half hours just to get to me!!!  OMG!  And people complain about LA traffic!)

So, Dave scooped me up in the afternoon, and it was like we had just seen each the week before!!!  And, trust me, it had been a couple of decades!  He drove me all around San Francisco to show me absolutely everything!  He even offered for us to get out and explore, which would have made his return trip that much longer, but I really do like to just see everything from a car.

Poolside cocktail hour. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Then, because it had been the first place I had stayed in California all those years ago, he drove me around Sausalito!!!  What a trip (mentally) that was!  We even stopped at a roadside A&W, (because I hadn’t seen one since I was a teen,) which was a good memory, but awful burgers.

The best part was arriving at the Zarkas’ beautiful home in Placerville.  Deb had put out a spread of snacks that would be welcome at the finest resort!  We enjoyed them poolside, then took in the sunset from their many different decks.  OMG!  [Note: They share pix of the sunsets on Facebook many nights, so, to see one in person was special indeed.]

But that wasn’t it for the food!  Deb had made a delicious sumptuous dinner for us, as well.  We dined al fresco, on the lower deck, in candlelight.

The view out my bedroom window. Notice the sad tennis on my iPad on my bed! Photo by Karen Salkin.

By the time we were done, it was 11:30PM!  Wow.  So that meant only thing—hot tub time!  We had so much to talk about, and there were so many stars to marvel over, that, by the time we entered the house, it was 2AM!

I took a shower and got into a cozy bed, and reflected on my great day.  I had only a few hours sleep when the beautiful sounds of nature wakened me.  (I slept with no AC and the window open, which I’ve never done in LA.  It was a revelation.)

The cute town of Placerville. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I got ready, and joined Deb on the party patio while we waited for Dave to return from church.  And then, sadly, it was time to leave.

But, of course, not straight back to San Fran.  They showed me the adorable city of Placerville; I need a week there, not just a few hours!  We had breakfast at a cute little country eatery on the edge of town, (I’ll tell you all about it in Part III,) and then back to the car for more touring.

This time, they took me through Sacramento.  I had been there only once before, as part of a biker gang, (don’t ask,) in my first months on this coast.  Needless to say, this time was much more to my liking!

The cocktail party, complete with music duo, in my hotel lobby. Photo by Karen Salkin.

We arrived back at my hotel by 5PM, just in time for me to relax at the hotel’s nightly cocktail hour, complete with a music duo.  Having to then drive all that way back to their town, Dave and Deb couldn’t stay for it, but I was shockingly fine alone.  (And, I spent a bit of time there with my New Best Friend, Kate, the waitress from the previous day’s breakfast!)

And the best part was—the Zarkas weren’t sick of me yet!  (That they shared me with, anyway.)

When Mr. X finally got back from working, (at 9:30PM!,) we gathered-up his long-lost cousin Gus, (who, in a lovely coincidence, was acting in the same commercial!,) and went next door for late dinner, which turned-out to be surprisingly delicious.

And that was that!  We got back to LA the next day, refreshed and relaxed, and better able to face all the challenges that awaited me.

So, all the above is the good stuff that happened up north.  For Mr. X’s cynical take on the surroundings and experiences, please check-out tomorrow’s column.  I couldn’t have said any of it better myself!  (But you know that I’ll just have to weigh-in a bit, as well.)

I’ve attended the Los Angeles Tourism Ireland dinners and luncheons for the past several years, and I love that they do it so differently every year. The nescients would assume that each go-round would be in an Irish pub, with corned beef and cabbage and potatoes as the fare, but those people would be very wrong.

Welcoming remarks. Photo by Karen Salkin.

This time it was a classy dinner at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. It was a perfect venue for all that the organizers had going on with their “Jump Into Ireland” presentation.

We began with a true cocktail hour featuring several varieties of passed hors d’oeuvres, including beef croquettes, which were my absolute favorite. I could’ve eaten just fifty of those, and jigged all the way home.

Can you see that all my eye make-up is green? Selfie by Karen Salkin.

I love that many guests made an effort to wear green. But, even if I do say so myself, my guest and I would have won the award, if there had been one. (I think they should institute one next year!) Alice wore a green paisley dress with a—drumroll, please—green coat! I had on a new green and black top, four different green bracelets, a green necklace, shamrock earrings, green nails, and–get ready for it–all green eye make-up!!! (I forgot to bring my green glasses, though. Darn. Now I have something new all ready for next year’s fete!)

Each individual table had this cheese and crackers platter on it, not to mention a little Irish flag. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Then we moved into the Wilshire Ballroom, to listen to much interesting information on everything the Emerald Isle has to offer. The organizers were smart; on each table for four was a cheese and crackers platter, so no one’s stomach would growl during the presentation. Very classy. And appreciated!

After an hour and a half of telling us about so many areas of Ireland, (the telling of which included some live river-dancing, a little golf competition, and beautiful visuals,) we moved on to the sumptuous buffet. It featured grilled salmon, mashed potatoes with kale, sautéed parsnips, lox with all the trimmings, and of course, corned beef. And it was all absolutely delicious.

While they did a couple of raffles, we enjoyed the dessert buffet, which was made-up of creative and delicious bite-sized pastries.

This Irish music and dance group entertained during both the cocktail hour and the dinner. Photo by Karen Salkin.

We learned some interesting things throughout the evening. First was a bit of trivia that even I didn’t know: the real Titanic ship was built in Ireland! (If any of you really knew that tidbit before I just told you, please let me know in the Comments section below. But only if you really did know that.)

The best info was that Los Angeles will have non-stop service to Dublin beginning in June of next year, on Ethiopian Airlines. I hope I’ll be on one of those flights!!!

I hope that by now you’ve read the first two parts of my recent thirty-six hours in Vegas. If you missed them, and want to get caught-up, you can read my review of One Queensridge Place here: http://itsnotaboutme.tv/news/vegastravel-vegas-trip-part-i-one-queensridge-place, and my review of dinner at Cantina Laredo here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/vegasdiningtravel-vegas-trip-part-ii-cantina-laredo.

But now we come to the juiciest part—the road trip! If you heard the Jaws music playing in the background just now, you’ve got it right.

GETTING THERE

I had taken another road trip to Vegas several years ago, with two blondes. So that might give you a clue as to what’s coming. They turned the basic, straight-shot drive, that should have taken four hours, into practically the movie Vanishing Point, (or some film like that,) with us on the road for eleven hours! And that wasn’t for any fun stops along the way, trust me! [Note: I’m still in touch with one of them, but hadn’t seen the other since that strange sojourn until…this past week-end! And the first thing she mentioned was that trip! She even acknowledged that they went wrong because they didn’t listen to me, so at least I have that.]

The two blondes I had done this trip with several years ago!!! If only it had also been in that gorgeous car!

That particular story requires an entire column unto itself, so I’ll tell it on a slow news day, but the reason I’m mentioning it now is this: just as I was about to tell Lauren this story, I noticed that she and I were on the wrong freeway! I absolutely could not believe it was happening again. But at least she would listen to me, and we corrected that mistake with losing only about twenty minutes of drive time.

But that was the last time she listened to me on directions. She decided that she had to use the idiotic “Siri” on her iPhone, who’s wrong more often than she’s right. So, guess what? Siri had us go on the wrong freeway into town, and exit at the wrong place, by about a mile. I knew something was amiss when she told us to park in the middle of nowhere and “walk to” our destination! In the middle of the desert!!!

The majestic scenery on the road between Cali and Vegas. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I told Lauren to go to a gas station and ask someone, or let me go into the only building in the area, that we had pulled-up in front of, but she was insisting on listening to Siri, and trying to figure out the map on the phone. I called my friend Lori, who lives right near the condo we were headed for, and also the reps from the condos, both of whom know the directions to where they are, but Lauren would not listen to any of us. So, despite exiting the freeway in the wrong spot, we could have corrected it in ten minutes, but because of stupid Siri, (and my pal’s stubbornness,) we arrived at our destination forty-five minutes after we got off the freeway!

The trip took us an extra hour and a half! In no traffic!

RETURNING HOME

The trip home was not quite as eventful, knock on wood. I know that Lauren is cellphone-obsessed, so rather than fight it on a long trip, I decided to not say anything if she had to talk business on the phone, and I brought a pillow and blanket to rest while she did so. Good thinking, eh? Not so fast.

I must commend her because she totally held herself back on the entire round-trip, and we just caught-up with each other, which is what people are supposed to do when they’re together. I never have phone time myself—I’m always living my adventures, or writing about them—so I talk to only the people I’m spending time with, as a rule.

I was so exhausted on the way home that I was actually hoping that Lauren would take some phone calls, so I could rest, so when an important business call came through that I knew she had to take, I told her that I was going to close my eyes while she talked, but she should make sure to look-out for the next freeway.

Can you guess why I took this picture? Give up? Because the truck looks like it has a happy face, of course! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Famous last words. About two minutes into her call, I heard her yell an expletive and say, “I just missed the 210!” I seriously could not believe it! But, thank goodness she at least noticed while it was happening, as opposed to that previous trip with the blondes, who just went about four hours out of our way while my eyes were closed for a few minutes. (By the way, Lauren is a blonde, too. A natural one!)

We just went to the next town to turn-around, and figured we might as well take bathroom breaks at the same time. Lauren went first while I stayed behind to guard the over-stuffed rental car. I told her to not return the key to the bathroom, and just bring it out to me because I was going next, and that I’d return the key to the clerk.

So when she walked towards me, texting all the way, of course, I asked for the key to the restroom, and she handed it to me, telling me that only the men’s room worked. So I went into the building, and as I approached the men’s room, I saw that it was already open, so I didn’t even need the key. When I came out, there was a guy waiting to go in, so I asked him if he wanted the key. He looked very confused and just shook his head no. So I went over to the guy behind the counter, to give him his restroom key back. He was helping someone else, so I just put it on the counter and told him I was “returning the key,” and started walking out.

I heard him say to the woman he was ringing-up that he didn’t know what that was! So I walked back over and asked, “Isn’t that the key to your restroom?” And he said he never saw it before! So I finally looked at it, and you’ll never guess what it was—the key to Lauren’s rental car! Do you see what texting does to one’s brain?!

But, after that, we made it back to Los Angeles without incident. And without running into traffic, either, until semi-close to my house! And we had left Vegas at around 2PM! That’s pretty amazing. Almost as amazing as the fact that we never even attempted to gamble during our entire twenty-four hours in Nevada! So, as Mr. X says, we went to Vegas and broke even. Maybe I should teach classes in how to do that. Or classes in Driving Directions…For Blondes!

Recently, my friend from New York, Lauren, and I took a quick overnight trip to Vegas. (Without gambling even once!)

If you missed Friday’s story of where we stayed there, the beautiful condominium building, One Queensridge Place, you can read about it here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/vegastravel-vegas-trip-part-i-one-queensridge-place.

Now we get to what I’m always the most interested in—a restaurant review!

(The juicy story about our actual time on the road will be published tomorrow, so please don’t miss that one.)

One of Cantina Laredo’s interior spaces. Photo by Karen Salkin.

We had just that one night in town, so of course, I always want to know where locals would recommend to eat. My friend Lori is not only a local for the past decade or so, but she also lived in L.A. for a very long time, and worked in Beverly Hills, where we used to go to lunch together often. So she’s someone whose opinion I really respect when it comes to restaurants. She and her boyfriend, Rob, said that one of their very favorite restaurants in Vegas is Cantina Laredo, so that’s where the four of us went.

It turned out to be right down the block from One Queensridge Place, in the tony Tivoli Gardens outdoor shopping center. It’s sort of a smaller, classier version of L.A.’s Grove, but with free, easy parking, no less!!!

The beautiful tree lights on the patio. Photo by Karen Salkin.

This was such an upbeat dinner at what Lori tells me is a trendy eatery.  I enjoyed the perfect low-key lighting, and a highlight in that category for me was the brightly-colored lights on the trees that are on the popular patio.  I’m sure the patrons appreciate that they have such a variety of areas to sit in, and the bar looked very happening, too.  I’m so glad that there was such a fun, hip restaurant so close to One Queensridge Place.  It made our stay there even more buttery.

You know that when I visit a new eatery, I have to try as many dishes as possible, so thank goodness Rob came to the rescue in that arena. Lori eats like a bird, (hence, that’s why she has the greatest body I’ve ever seen,) and Lauren and I were way past hungry at that point, (read my story of our harrowing road trip there tomorrow,) so the three of us ladies just took bites and then foisted our leftovers on Rob. Good thing he’s a manly man and could take it!

Speaking of men, we were treated well by new manager, Matthew, (who had been there only three weeks, at the time; it will only get easier for him after cutting his teeth on our party!,) and informative server Eric, also known as Leche, (leaving me to crave milk for the entire meal.)

We were far from a party of drinkers, but Lauren insisted we try at least one alcoholic beverage to tell you about because their drink menu was so inviting. Cantina Laredo features more margaritas than I have ever seen in one place before, so, even though it was a tough choice, we finally settled on the Mango Pepper Rita, which is made with blood orange liqueur. As I said, Lauren was the only one who had a few sips, and she said it was quite delicious, while we were all in agreement that it looked quite festive!

Tableside guacamole presentation. Photo by Lauren Bennett.

As recommended by everyone we had met that day, we began with their signature guacamole, which they mix up fresh for you, table-side. Not only was it delicious, but it was perfect for our group because I didn’t want spicy peppers in it and Rob did, and Lauren shuns onions and I need them. So, after Eric mixed the basics, he gave us each a little dish of the extras we wanted, so the whole group was satisfied. As Lori put it, they “accommodated our individual tastes,” while I was saying that they “accommodated our nuttiness.” I think she said it better, don’t you? Rob declared it to be “awesome and super-delish,” while Lauren chimed-in with “creative.”

I’m really a wimp, so outside of the specially-mixed guacamole, everything, including the basic cilantro-lime rice, (that the other three described as “zesty and tangy,”) was too spicy for me. I should have thought of ordering my chicken dish with no spice to begin with, but Matthew was kind enough to have it re-made sans sauce, and it was perfect.

So, here are the rest of the highlights of our meal, in the order that we ate them:

The mango and chicken salad, with the chicken on the side, the way we ordered it. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Rob said the ceviche was “great, tangy, and robust,” and Lauren added that it had a “hearty flavor.”  All four of us loved the Ensalada De Mango Y Pollo, which is salad with mango and chicken.  Lori’s a vegetarian, so we had the chicken on the side, which I can tell you was grilled just right.  Rob put it at “the top of the list,” and lauded the honey vinaigrette for it’s “subtle taste.”  He and I also enjoyed the “perfect amount of sweetness” of the tropical dressing on the Ensalada De Camaron Con Miel, along with the “fresh slices of mango.”  (The shrimp on it was a tad too “smoky” for the three of us who tried it, though.)

Lori loved her vegetarian Enchiladas De Avocado, which carnivorous Rob even deemed “hearty.” It’s one of their favorite dishes at Cantina Laredo.

For the true spice lovers out there, (like Rob,) there was the slow-roasted brisket Tacos De Barbacoa. Rob appreciated the “authentic Mexican flavors and aromas.”

The grilled steak. Photo by Lauren Bennett.

Lauren, who was a bit too tired from our road trip to Vegas to eat much, enjoyed her grilled steak special, which is one of their signature dishes. She kept encouraging me to try it because the steak was “so tender,” but I had just started on my specially-made sauce-less Camarones Escondidos, and didn’t want to change tastes.

This is the story on that chicken dish: it normally comes with a chipotle-wine sauce, which, as I mentioned before, was too spicy for me. So I asked Rob to eat it, because I can’t bear to waste food, and he said it was “very tasty,” and he really liked the “good, smoky flavor.”

The shrimp-stuffed chicken breast, minus the sauce and rice. Look at its simple beauty. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Then I got to try the new one they made me, minus the sauce, and I absolutely loved it! It was a combination of ingredients I never would have thought of, and they worked perfectly together. What it is is a grilled chicken breast that’s stuffed with the tastiest baby shrimp ever, and topped with sautéed spinach. Much healthier than that you cannot get, especially in such a flavorful dish.

We were finally ready for the desserts which were prepared table-side, a presentation we all enjoyed.

Shockingly, I sat them out because I couldn’t eat another morsel at that point, so it was mainly Rob trying three of the four. The funny thing was that Lauren rarely eats desserts, and Lori tastes sweets even less than that, but they both took bites, and loved what they tried!

The sizzling Mexican apple pie. Photo by Lauren Bennett.

The consensus favorite was the Mexican apple pie, which was truly sizzled in Mexican brandy butter, and topped with cinnamon ice cream. It did look luscious. Lori said it’s “unique,” and “not to be missed.”

They moved on to the Mexican brownie, which was also served on a sizzling skillet with the Mexican brandy butter and vanilla ice cream this time. Lauren loved it and said it was “great,” while Lori piped-up that it was “moist and nutty,” and then added, “And who doesn’t like moist and nutty?” She might have a point there.

Cantina Laredo’s Tres Leches cake, which is just about mandatory in Mexican restaurants nowadays, had a fun twist; it came with a mango cream sauce. Lauren said it “looked cool on the plate,” and she positively swooned over the strawberry that was served on top of it, declaring it “divine.”

We were having such a good time that we practically closed down the place. With Cinco de Mayo coming up in a little over a month, I just may feel another visit to Cantina Laredo coming on, even if I do have to endure another road trip to Vegas to do so!

Cantina Laredo
  430 South Rampart Blvd. 
 Las Vegas  702-202-4511  www.cantinalaredo.com