It seems that everyone is ragging on Jennifer Lopez these days. Yes, she has cancelled her tour, and had less-than-successful career offerings in the past few months, but I don’t know if she is exactly the correct one to blame in the Bennifer saga. Ben Affleck has always seemed kind of hard-to-deal-with to me and a bit gross, to boot, with his smoking and drinking and little teeth.

Jennifer Lopez from THIS  with ARod…

There definitely does seem to be trouble in their paradise. But I have a bold prediction for you guys: I think that Jennifer just may get back together with her former fiancé, Alex Rodriguez. Let me explain.

First of all, that girl can never be single. She’s always had one boyfriend or husband or another since she first burst on the scene waaaay back in the day. (She’s been married four times with another four serious long-term beaus.) So even though I believe that somehow Ben Affleck is the love of her life, if they do break-up, she’ll feel the need to get with another guy right away, and, at fifty-five-years-old next month, she has to work fast.

I have to admit that I was semi-crushed when JLo and ARod split up. It brought me back to Sonny and Cher’s break-up, and made me feel bad all over again. I’m actually not kidding—I thought that J-Rod, (as they were referred to,) was a perfect duo. He had always had a crush on her and she’s always…well, let’s leave it at that they’ve both always loved her!

…to THIS with Ben.

I hate to even know this myself, but Mr. X reads celebrity gossip, (only on sites that also feature politics, medical info, and real news, though,) and he’s been telling me for a while that Ben and Jen will probably break-up soon. I do feel that Ben is most likely the love of her life, and I know that no one can help whom they love, but I don’t know how she could be with him to begin with.

Here are some reasons I say that:

~ JLo is totally into working-out and having the strongest, best-looking body around, so I’ve been shocked that she chose to be with someone who doesn’t have those same interests. Whereas she and ARod loved going to the gym together and were totally aligned in their health pursuits, Ben does not look like he works-out, at all! He has that kind of soft, pudgy, dad bod. I don’t understand how she could go from sleeping with ARod’s chiseled body to sleeping with Ben’s. It’s pretty hard to understand.

~ And how can she be with someone who’s always smoking?! Ugh. I have no idea how she kisses someone with cigarette breath. I would throw-up if I had to do that. I recently asked a friend who has a husband who also smokes how she could make-out with him and she said that she can’t. She told me she hasn’t kissed him for years, plus she makes him try to get rid of the smell and taste as much as he can before he even comes to bed.

~ Okay, I’m making myself sick with all that bad breath talk! But he bites his nails, too!!! Yuck.

~ And, I almost forgot—Ben’s also an alcoholic!

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. It’s a tad weird that they always look miserable, but are still holding hands!

What I don’t like about the whole thing is that when Jennifer and Alex broke up, she made it seem like it was just because of stuff between the two of them. There was a rumor that Alex had “slid into the DMs” of some reality show woman, but nothing was ever said about it in that time period after the split, so I doubt that was it. And they own(ed) several entities together, so that was a lot of drama to get through, even though it was never out in the public.

But from all my detective work on the subject, it appears that Ben had emailed Jen out of the blue at the beginning of that year, and then all of a sudden, she and Alex broke-up, and she was back with Ben. So that must’ve been in the works between the two of them before she left Alex.

By the way—for those of you who don’t know, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were engaged over two decades ago before breaking it off partly due to “excessive media attention.” (I remember seeing them on TV doing an interview from their backyard, and there was a boat in the background carrying people grabbing surreptitious pix of them.)

Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez, and all of their kids. Doesn’t that look like a happy family?

So I’m thinking that all this drama with Ben 2.0—from his unpleasantness at the Grammys last year, to them always being photographed looking miserable, to him always yelling at her, to them supposedly living separately now—is making her realize how good she had it with Alex. You always saw them smiling and laughing, and their four kids (two of hers and two of his from previous marriages) looking so happy to be with one another, and she and Alex were always at the gym together, and they had made it through the difficulty of being together 24/7 during the pandemic. Perhaps harking back to all that will lead to the realization that ARod is who she really should be with, if he will even still have her, which I feel that he would. He hasn’t gotten serious with anyone in these last few years, and he just always has some nothing-looking blonde girlfriend or another with him, so I don’t think he’s serious with anyone.

He may make Jennifer grovel a bit, which I wouldn’t blame him for, but I can definitely see them back together. And one thing that I always picture is when she received the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award at the 2018 MTV Video Music Awards, and she was thanking people including her kids, and then she thanked Alex who was standing in the crowd just beaming for her, and she kind of giggled as she said his name. I hope she notices that that’s the kind of look she should have on her face when she talks about someone, not the scowling that she and Ben are always photographed doing. (During that acceptance speech, she addressed Alex in the audience, saying,“Alex. You’re like my twin soul. We’re like mirror images of each other. You know, my life is sweeter and better with you in it because you make me realize that every day, the sky is not the limit, the universe is infinite, and so is what we can accomplish together with love and trust and understanding. There’s so much more to do, to experience, and there is no one I’d rather do it with. You’re my macho baby, and I love you.”)

Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez.

So, to sum-up, not only do I hope that Jennifer and Alex get back together, but I predict that they will. And remember—you read it here first!

Addendum: Just when I was about to publish this, I had a glimpse in my mind of having written some of these thoughts before. And then I found that I had! I wrote an article about them when Bennifer first got back together in 2021. So here’s the link to my more in-depth look at some of it, right as it was happening back then!: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/gossipkarens-thoughts-my-issues-with-jennifer-lopezs-new-old-relationship.

If you missed my review of the actual Oscars show yesterday, there are some juicy, and perhaps controversial, observations in there. But no worries—you can still read it here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/awards-show-oscars-2024.

Carey Mulligan winning Best Dressed from me!

I didn’t want to muddy the waters by sharing my thoughts on both the awards show and the many arrivals and attendant shows in the same review, which is why I split the usual one article in two.

You can also still read my Oscar night tweets @MajorCelebrity; there are so many new things to say that I’m not repeating the tweets here (even though they’re some of my best work, especially what Mr. X said about Bradley Cooper and his mother!!! I could not stop laughing.) So I suggest you check them out as soon as you finish reading this “arrivals” review.

To watch as many arrivals as I could on Sunday, I switched around between the local ABC coverage, another local news channel, E, and the official national one right before the show. So for once, I’m not commenting much on the interviewers. Actually, this time, they were all better than they’ve been in the past. I’m just lumping them all together, (until I get to the half-hour national show near the end.)

The overriding take-away from the night was just how much Ozempic, (or the other weight-loss drugs,) has been used by Hollywood denizens in the past few months! OMG! How can some of them, (such as Da’Vine Joy Randolph,) still be so big???

And I’m beginning by declaring Carey Mulligan to have looked the absolute best, followed closely by Gabrielle Union and Eva Longoria.

Eva Longoria. Photo by Karen Salkin.

By the way—this is how these arrivals shows work: Some celebs really do show up early because that’s just their nature—to make sure they’re never late to anything, (which is what my parents always did.) But many of the either not famous at all or just lesser actors/songwriters/directors go early because they know that these arrivals shows begin at least three hours before the actual awards telecast, so the hosts are desperate to interview anybody, and this way, they have a greater chance of getting at least a bit of publicity. And the few lucky ticket holders who really have nothing to do with the proceedings at all, (like contest winners or someone’s secretary and her friends,) want to be early to experience the entire hubbub of the day, or just hope that a camera will get them walking in if they look decent enough.

Now I’m going in order of my viewing of the arrivals:

Dominic Sessa. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The Holdovers‘ Dominic Sessa showed-up first, so he got face time on just about every channel! Smart. He’s such a sweet, intelligent, grateful kid. Well-spoken and thoughtful, as well.

The local LA duo from Channel 5 here were so excited when they conducted a successful interview!

Even though E’s Laverne Cox has gotten better at interviewing, she creepily kept saying that things are “gagging” her, which is disgusting. It turns-out that she meant it as a good thing, but when I heard her first say it about Rita Moreno, I was shocked until I realized what she meant by it.

Also, Laverne very stupidly put the mike in hearing-impaired Marlee Matlin‘s face, but Marlee saved the interview by very cutely (and pointedly!,) directing it to her interpreter instead.

Marlee Matlin sweetly showing Laverne Cox to point the mike towards her sign language interpreter! Photo by Karen Salkin.

I loved Past Lives writer/director Celine Song. She’s intelligent and thoughtful and said just the right things. And…I’m so jealous of her spot-on bangs!!!

Eva Longoria said, “We look better now than twenty years ago.” Yeah, right. I just wish that I had had the same surgeries and treatments as the people who can say that!!!

Jamie Lee Curtis looked excellent, too. For her. She actually looked sort-of like her mom that night. (It’s Janet Leigh, in case you don’t know. And now you do!)

Sandra Hüller’s unfortunate cat-eye. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Sandra Hüller is a wonderful actress, with double-success this year, (starring in two tough ones–Anatomy of a Fall and The Zone of Interest,) but her Oscars eye make-up was terrible! You can’t wear a cat-eye with shaded lids like hers. And boy, did she need earrings.

Just when I wanted to be a fan of Ramy Youssef, he wore a dress!!! Yuck.

Dwayne Wade spoke well about The Barber of Little Rock, the nominated short documentary for which he’s one of the Executive Producers. But, (and I hate to say this about my fellow Capricorn,) he’s from Illinois, and thinks the “s” at the end of it is pronounced!!! He’s obviously been mispronouncing it his whole life!

But he and his posse made a worthwhile film, so good for them.

Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Kingsley Ben-Adir is adorbs. And so real.

How much facial surgery has Mary Steenburgen had??? (And, boy, am I jealous!)

Colman Domingo speaks so well.

David Alan Grier’s head. Photo by Karen Salkin.

What is up with the shape of David Alan Grier’s head???

Billie Eilish‘s get-up was horrible, as usual. At first, I had tweeted that her arrivals outfit was the best she had ever looked. But, as soon as I posted it, the camera scrolled down and showed us that, once again, she was dressed like the opposite of a Barbie doll, (which is me putting it kindly.) But she did have much better hair than she usually does, for sure.

Did anyone else notice that Anya Taylor-Joy looks like an alien? Just sayin’.

What’s up with Emma Stone‘s weird, red, pointy-tipped nose???

Emma Stone. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Julianne Hough looked like the biggest star there, with the paparazzi surrounding her entrance, even though she was on the red carpet solely to interview others.

She was actually the most adorable arrivals interviewer ever, except for one glaring annoyance–she kept saying that absolutely everything was “amazing.” She has to ditch that dreadful habit.

But I have to laud Julianne for something I appreciated–when she and a guest knew each other well, or had an acquaintance in common, she acted like the rest of us do about it, and didn’t make it like she’s so in with the in crowd, as the other interviewers do.

Julianne Hough arriving to interview people. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Can people from Barbie finally stop wearing pink now? They’ve ruined the color for me.  Even Barbie herself didn’t wear that much pink! They need to mix in a red or blue already.

Arianna Grande looked awful, but I’m giving her a break because she was on SNL in NY until 1AM the night before, so she must have been exhausted from traveling.

I was going to vomit if one more person told each other how “beautiful” they are. I’m not joking—occasionally, that happened at least four times in one short interview!!!

Simu Liu said of someone, “Her vision for the movie shon through.“ Not the correct “shone”–he thinks the past tense of “shine” is “shon!” Shocking.

Emily Ratajkowski’s horrendously idiotic dress!

No one said Joseph Quinn‘s (who’s in the new A Quiet Place: Day One) last name! Even his co-star, Lupita Nyong’o, with whom he walked the red carpet and got interviewed, referred to him as “this guy!” And Joe was cute—he said, “If you thought the others were quiet…” He was also on the famous Stranger Things, so could someone have looked him up while the host was interviewing him???

There was that cute-but-definitely-not-famous Taylor Perez again! He had no reason for being at the Oscars other than that his publicist is working overtime. But, as you know, I’m always happy to gaze upon a beautiful face, so I’m not mad at him.

Interviewer Vanessa Hudgens pronounced Ariana Grande’s last name as “Granda!” A TV host of any kind should know how to pronounce a guest’s name, especially that of such a famous person!!! Shame on her.

Vera Wang. Photo by Karen Salkin.

At this point, when all the arrivals shows were over and the real show was about to begin, I told Mr. X, “I’m now too tired to watch, but it doesn’t matter because I’m going to be upset by all the winners, anyhow.” And I was correct! Well, about a lot of them, not all.

Lastly, I don’t have the energy to discuss the after-parties, except for two things:

Emily Ratajkowski‘s horrendously idiotic dress. Why would she, (or anyone,) want the world to see her droopy, saggy boobs??? That’s a real head-scratcher.

And I have one word of advice for Vera Wang—sleeves!!!

I was deciding between two already-written articles about recent fun LA events to publish today, but then it hit me—nothing is as important right now, (to my shallow self, anyway,) as the news that Hugh Jackman and his wife, Deborra-lee Furness, have just split up!!!

A recent pic of the Jackmans, before the split.

My teeth almost fell out of my head when I read the news on Friday! If Mr. X had learned of the split before I did, and tried to make me guess who it was, even with five hundred clues, I would never have guessed this one in a million years!!!

The weird thing is that, after having an undying non-stop crush on Hugh since I first heard him sing on SNL in 2001, I had told Mr. X that I was finally over Hugh just two nights prior to the break-up news! I’m not sure why the crush had lessened, but that he sat in Novak Djokovic’s box during this summer’s Wimbledon Men’s Championship certainly contributed to the demise. (Hugh’s Wolverine vibes didn’t help Novak, thank goodness—he lost to twenty-year-old Carlos Alcaraz.) Hugh had also tweeted his support of my least favorite player back then. So I believe seeing him do all that is where my love for him began to wane.

Just look at that gorgeous face!

But the embers of my flame never went totally away. My heart does still flutter a tiny bit when I hear Hugh talk or see him smile.

As you’re reading this diatribe on my love for him, the show biz folk among you may be thinking, “Does Karen not know he’s gay???” Well, first of all, I don’t know anything for sure unless I’ve witnessed it for myself! (We should all try to live by the old famous admonition, “Believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear.”)

But of course I know that that’s the prevailing word on him. And even though I very rarely pass rumors around, I heard some inside info from an incredibly reliable source some years ago. So here it is:  When I saw Hugh’s amazing performance in The Boy From Oz in New York in 2004, I had breakfast shortly after with a producer of a different Broadway show, (whom I’ll call “Tom” here,) and we discussed my massive crush on Hugh, of course. Tom laughed and told me that everyone in the theatre scene there knows that Hugh is in a relationship with his assistant, John. I was shocked. I protested that, just because Hugh plays a gay icon, (Peter Allen,) in the show, doesn’t make him gay in real life. Tom insisted it was true and that everyone knew it but kept it as quiet as possible because they adored Hugh.

Hugh Jackman in the middle, (of course,) his wife on the right, and his assistant on the left, back in the day.

I still took it with a grain of salt, but then, I witnessed something that caught my attention. It was when Hugh won either the Tony for the show just a few months later, or when he won an Emmy the next year for hosting that earlier Tonys show. Whichever it was, he not only thanked his wife, but his assistant John, who was shown on camera in his seat, practically bubbling over with love. I literally gasped seeing their interaction. I didn’t want it to be true, (only so I would still have a chance with him, if my beloved Mr. X and I ever broke up, God forbid, and bite my tongue,) but it did sort-of explain his marriage to a chubby woman who is thirteen years older than he is. (Actually, his choice of an older, not-thin wife means I still have a chance! But I always have better footwear than her nerdy choices! That’s for sure.)

Just a couple of examples of Deborra-lee’s dreadful footwear! And there are sooo mnay more! This one was just the other day.

And this one was a few years ago. How has no one told her to do better with the shoes??? (Perhaps that’s why he’s leaving her.)

Then a few years later, I saw a picture on the internet, (of course,) of Hugh and another hunky guy at the beach holding hands. A few months after that, a woman whose show business website I occasionally wrote for called me when I was packing for a trip, so I wasn’t paying attention while we chatted. For some unremembered reason, we got on the subject of the Jackmans, and I absentmindedly mentioned that picture I had seen. The woman was gay herself, and in the biz, so I figured it was not a big deal. But she went nuts on me, saying she was friends with Mrs. Jackman, who she was sure would “not stand for” Hugh being gay. She was so upset that she never called me again, even though I was still supposed to be writing for her endeavor! If I hadn’t been distracted by actively packing during our convo, I would not even have mentioned it. And I’ve kept that whole Broadway rumor to myself ever since, as though Hugh was my friend whose secret I was protecting.

But gay or straight, it doesn’t matter, not even one little bit. Hugh Jackman is still my second choice to Mr. X. But a word of warning to him…Paul McCartney is still waiting in the wings…of my heart.

High Jackman and Deborra-lee Furness on their wedding day, looking sort-of like a boy and his mom, don’t you think?

Whatever happened between the Jackman duo, it has worked for all these years, and I think it’s very brave of them to do whatever it is they want to do solo now, especially in these awful days of celebs’ every move being watched, recorded, and scrutinized by strangers.

The one thing I absolutely do believe is that Hugh and Deborra-lee are best friends and will always be.

Someone on a comments page when the news hit last week wrote that people don’t break up after this long together if one or both of them don’t have a new love interest on tap. I assume that person will be on Hugh’s part because he has a gazillion options, while I feel that poor Deb doesn’t have any. And I semi-agree; why rock the steady boat with someone you’ve loved for decades, on whatever level it was, except for a newer shinier option?

So, anyway, we can all speculate all we want about why the Jackmans broke-up, (or were together to begin with, for that matter,)  but I doubt we’ll ever find-out. And it’s none of our business, anyway!  We should all just wish them the best, and then focus on our own lives.

One of the pix of Hugh Jackman and a friend at the beach several years ago. And this is the last I’m going to say on the subject.

But here’s one funny thing about this situation: When I first saw the news on Friday, after I picked my jaw up off the floor, I just knew I had to comment on social media about it. So I jotted off a quick little missive about how Mr. X has to watch his step now. I originally wrote, “This is shocking! Mr. X better be nice to me now–my celebrity crush is finally single!!! But Hugh Jackman has to shave that beard first,” that last part referring to his facial hair in the pic. And then about ten minutes, later, I realized that people probably thought I was referring to his wife! (For you innocents among us, that’s how relationship partners of gay people are referred to, because they cover them up.) So I had to go back and add an explanation of my use of “beard” to my posts.

Lastly, no matter how huge my crush on Hugh is, the demise of his long marriage still saddens me. I may be jokey about it all, but I really do wish those two, and their children, the best. Now all of us, including yours truly, need to leave that family alone.

This was actually the happiest season of The Bachelorette I’ve ever seen!

As much as I hate to admit that I watch this low-class franchise, I have to. It all began during the pandemic, of course, when there was not much else to do. And, also of course, I roped Mr. X into watching it with me.

Engaged couple Charity and Dotun.

I must say, this was the best season in my three and a half years of watching it: the lead was a pretty, classy, intelligent girl, (except for her always saying “me and him,” as opposed to the correct, “he and I”); there was the best crop of “contestants” ever; she chose the right guy; and the adorable runner-up, Joey, became the next Bachelor. So it was all good.

But most of you will not guess who the highlight of the series was for me. I’m giving you a second before I tell you. (And keep in mind—I’m often shallow!)

Okay, drum roll for my favorite person ever on this entire franchise—ready?–it’s…Brayden!!! And yes, I am ashamed of myself for it. But only a little bit.

He’s adorable looking, enthusiastic, and…honest! The stupid jealous other guys were ragging on him for saying that although he liked Charity, he didn’t think he was ready to get engaged in just those few weeks. And…he is correct! He’s twenty-four-years-old, for goodness sake! He has his whole future ahead of him. And he’s supposed to want to marry somebody he just met??? Give me a break.

Brayden Bowers.

So not only is he beautiful-looking, with a sense of style, (which I love in a guy, except for his way-too-long earring choices,) but he can stand up for himself.

Yes, I know that you’re not supposed to apply to be on any of these silly shows if you’re not ready to not only get engaged right away, but to a stranger, to boot. But you know that’s not the case for most of them. They all go on there for their own fame and fortune. And if they fall in love and it works out, (which it rarely does,) all the better. But, despite the vie-ers being told they need to be there “for the right reasons,” that reason is rarely to really find your “person.”

My quasi-crush on Brayden was confirmed for me on the final show of the season on Monday night, without him saying a word. When host Jesse Palmer asked everyone in the small-ish live studio audience to stand if they would like to date new Bachelor Joey, (meaning the girls,) Brayden jumped right up to lend support to his former cast-mate! How adorable of him.

Brayden…again.

And just to show you how media-savvy I am, this is an email exchange I had—way back on July 18!!!–with a grown-up television executive who, despite being smart and worldly, absolutely loves the spin-off series, Bachelor in Paradise, (which I’m proud to say that I’ve never once seen.):

Me: “What are the chances Brayden won’t be the star of the next BIP???”

Exec: “He’s an idiot…”

Me: “So, of course, he’s my favorite! Except for the long earrings.

But I really hope she picks Dotun. I’ve hoped so for a while. And I think she will.”

So, I not only correctly predicted that Brayden would now be on Bachelor in Paradise, (which begins next month,) but also that Charity would choose Dotun! And I’m a relatively newbie in so-called “Bachelor Nation!” If I would only use all of my abilities in more worthwhile ways, I could run the world!!! (Okay, I think I’m getting ahead of myself here.)

Charity with final two suitors–Joey and Dotun. See how her body language tells you she’s more into Dotun?

So now back to just a few more thoughts I had on the Finale of this inanity.

First of all, of course Charity is going to be on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars!!! How did I miss predicting that one! I’m sure she’ll do great on it. I just hope they pair her with a happily-married pro because that show has broken-up a number of couples who don’t like to see their loved-ones manhandled by someone else. (And let’s face it—Charity is always just about naked, which she can easily do with her cute skinny bod!)

Why can’t The Bachelor producers never afford air-conditioning during these shows??? Or just not shoot close-ups, (like during “rose ceremonies,”) outside in the heat?! It’s so creepy to see the people on there always sweat profusely! And then they have to grab each others’ drenched faces and lay the mac down!!! At the very least, can they not have the make-up people towel the contestants down???

As much as I am not a fan of fourth-place guy Aaron, what the producers did to him was really cruel. They needed a sacrificial lamb after Charity had unexpectedly eliminated third-place Xavier the week before. They felt they still needed a third person to be in the absolutely unnecessary last rose ceremony, and to fill the airtime that drama with a final-three guy would take, so they had Aaron fly twelve hours, (each way!,) from San Diego back to Fiji for just one day just for the sake of their stupid show. That is soooo offensive.

The last four guys. She had sent Aaron (2nd from left) home in favor of Xavier (on the right.) But then the producers used Aaron to fill space when she surprisingly got rid of Xavier the next week.

She had already nixed him the week before, so everyone in the world, including Aaron himself, knew that she wasn’t going to all of a sudden choose him over one of her top two. It was actually evil of the producers to make him fly all that way again only to be rejected that same night.  (I just hope that his deal was an entire week there, and that he got to bring a friend along for an all-expenses-paid vacay.)

I think the only honest Bachelorette there’s ever been was Clare, who told the producers right away that she was interested in only Dale, so she was quitting the show because she didn’t want to go through the rest of the season of baloney. I always give her so much credit for that. (And that’s what got Mr. X and me interested in this nonsensical show to begin with.)

Next season’s Bachelor Joey, (Did anyone else notice that they fixed his hair now?)

I actually thought that Charity was going to be one of the most honest people ever on there, as well. But she told both Dotun and Joey that she was in love with them, and that’s just not possible. You’re not “in love” with two people, especially after that brief time of knowing them. You can want to date both men, but not be confused as to which virtual stranger you’re going to get engaged to in a matter of weeks!!!

That whole nonsense really pissed me off. And it did Mr. X, as well, because he had to hear me say it every other second during the finale!

Here’s my own fave pic of Joey! Photo by Karen Salkin.

All that being said, this Season 20 of The Bachelorette was a really good one. It goes to show that you can’t judge a book by its quiet cover. We didn’t think Dotun stood a chance for the first few weeks, because he was so quiet and classy, and far from a boat-rocker, and then, as soon as Charity took him into her room for a more private conversation away from the prying eyes of all the other guys, I knew he was the one. (I guess she did, too!)

So I’m happy with the whole situation. Two nice people getting together and appearing to be really in love—what can be better than that???

Oh, I know what can be better—watching Braydon, (and his cute, spongey, swim trunks-clad body,) on next month’s Bachelor In Paradise! If I don’t throw-up from the rest of that show first.

The Coronation of King Charles will be upon us very soon, (perhaps even sooner than some of us expected, being that it’s in under five days,) so, as to not allow talk of the *creepy Sussexes to permeate the Coronation itself along with all the happy surrounding activities, I’m getting my latest diatribe against them out of the way right now. *[Note: Wherever in this article I describe that horrible Markle woman, just substitute any of these adjectives in front of her mention: wicked, fiendish, hellish, calculating, scheming, awful, disgusting, sinister, desperate, maniacal, and psychotic. Sadly, they all apply.]

In almost every picture I can find of the Markle woman standing behind or next to the Royals, she’s giving them the evil eye!

But first, one happy note: Early next week, to get you all as prepared as possible, so you don’t miss-out on the optimum way to enjoy this historic event, I’ll share some tips on how to watch the Coronation to make it the most fun for you. You won’t want to miss the festivities because this is most likely the only one many of us will ever see. [Note: King Charles is already seventy-four, so some of us, especially you young ‘uns, will probably also see the crowning of King William in about two decades from now.]

Now back to the Sussexes, and them always making everything about them. I still haven’t gotten over that those creeps made the last years of the late Queen’s life hell.

The late Queen, not looking happy with the couple. And the Markle woman trying to figure out how to get out a life where she’s not the Princess she thought she’d be.

As you may have heard, Harry is planning on going to the Coronation, but his creepy wife will not. Sadly for Harry, he’ll have to rush right back to California afterwards, for his son’s fourth birthday party. They could have easily postponed the kiddie party so that Harry could have stayed in England for the post-Coronation concert and all the fun surrounding his father’s big day. The kid is too young to know what the date is, of course! But this way, Markle controls Harry, and deprives him of any possibility of having fun with his brother, Kate, his cousins, niece, and nephews, and maybe even a few old pals. She’s so afraid that he might remember that he really wants to be a member of the Royal Family again, which would screw-up her plans to be a celebrity in America! (More developing info on that in a minute.) What an evil, evil woman.

There are two schools of thought in regard to the diabolical Markle woman not attending the Coronation. At first, I was happy that she’s staying away; that will make everyone, (except possibly Harry, of course,) more comfortable. I really do think it’s best for all concerned–actually, for all of England!

William, Kate, and Harry having their usual fun together, before evil Markle came along.

But then I realized that she’s actually doing it solely for herself! She doesn’t care, not even one little bit, about  how her absence will affect her emotionally-weak husband. She knows that he always leans on her for support at all times, so he might especially need to hold her hand (both literally and figuratively) during what will surely be a stressful time for him. How unbelievably selfish of her to make him have to deal with all of that by his lonesome.

But it’s all about her. She knows that, by now, she’s basically reviled in England, even more so than in the rest of the world, (which either also at the very least dislikes her, and at others doesn’t care about her,) and she’s so scared of being jeered at the coronation, or worse yet, ignored! And she abhors being second to the beloved Kate, who’s going to be the next Queen of England, that she can’t bear to be in attendance at all! And this way, she gets one more dig at the Royals about the race stuff.

And the misery all four of them show when forced together now.

And, since it’s just been revealed that she signed with a top agent in LA, (which I can’t imagine why they would do that—no one is interested in seeing or hearing her!,) she’s probably happy her husband will be away for a few days, so she won’t have to make believe she cares about, or even likes, him for that time. (Did you see him go in for a small peck on the Jumbotron “Kiss Cam” at the Lakers game last week, and be rejected by that witch, on national television, with her smiling and laughing the whole time??? Repulsive.)

On top of all that, this will be Harry’s first time back with the fam since his rotten book, (in which he especially slammed Camilla, Kate, and his brother,) came out. So both of them will be more hated than ever!

By the way–I used to really like Harry. I always rooted for him and forgave all of his peccadillos, even including his uber-offensive Nazi costume!  But now I can’t stand that milquetoast. He’s so mentally unstable about growing up as the “spare,” that he married someone who basically bulldozed him by making believe that she’s always there for him. The poor unwitting fool just has never been able to see that he has always been used as the route to fame for his wife. He’s always wanted to be loved for just himself, not as the back-up to William, and he thought this manipulating woman was doing just that.

This is not the couple laughing TOGETHER. It’s HER laughing as she recoiled from Harry as he leaned in for a quick kiss on the Kiss Cam at a recent Lakers game. Delightful of her. (The video shows the incident better, if you’re curious to look for it.)

Anyone with half a brain knows that he’s beyond-manipulated by his evil wife, the Markle woman. I don’t think I’ve ever had more disdain for someone I’ve never met. So far, she has gotten everything she’s wanted out of this relationship, namely fame and fortune.

But I’m sure that what she really wanted to be, (and thought she would be,) is a new Princess Diana, and be beloved and revered around the world. So that she’s hated so much by everyone, especially the British people, made her alter her course.

And man, can that woman pivot! And she figured the way to do that has been to smear the people she’s so envious of. Being able to play the race card has been such a bonus for her, to boot. (By the way, I don’t remember knowing she was even any part black until her mother showed-up for her wedding! And I’ve never once thought about it since then, except for the many times that she mentions it herself!)

She set-out to hook a man who could make her famous, and Prince Harry was the perfect patsy. He was vulnerable, a mess, and mentally and emotionally fragile. She knew exactly how to reel him in. And it was not even close to for love or a desire to help him heal from all his issues.

She thought because she was a Z-list actress, she could act the role of Princess. But when she saw that she would never—and I mean never—come even close to being Kate, she knew she had to come up with something else. Hence, Megxit.

And what Prince William was doing while his brother was being humiliated on the Jumbotorn–laying a wreath at the Australia Memorial in Hyde Park to pay tribute to soldiers who made the “ultimate sacrifice,” on Anzac Day.

I have a feeling that she’s the one who made Harry go against his family by writing a tell-all book. I’m sure she’s planning to do her own later on, but she figured she’d test the waters with one from him first. This way, she can gauge the reception to his, and compose accordingly.

So Harry does his book, attempting to skewer his family. The guy loathes his brother even more than my equally-jealous older sister does me, just for us existing. (So I’m more familiar with sibling rivalry than I wish I were. But in both William’s and my cases, it’s not us, it’s definitely them!) In his case, the only way William has “hurt” Harry is to be born first. It turns-out that Harry has always been sensitive about being labelled “The Spare,” but William isn’t the one who coined that term—it was the press and the public! “The Heir and The Spare” was a clever moniker for the bros.

But now it turns out that Harry has major psychological issues from the label. He’s gone so far as to aver that the reason he was born was in case William would ever need a kidney! If that were true, his parents would have had more children, because you can’t count on one being a match. They had him because that’s what couples do, especially if the mother is so young, and they can afford it—they have children!

And he, in specific, wasn’t born for anything—they simply had another child and it turned-out to be him! Period!

As much as he supposedly hates that label, he sure didn’t mind using it for his rotten tell-all, now, did he?

Harry’s mean-spirited book.

Since my blood is boiling just rehashing this topic, I must bring this tirade to a close. But first I must say that Harry is delusional if he thinks that any of the Windsors will be reconciling with him any time soon, no less apologizing to him, as he has been demanding they do! He did this to his family, not the other way around.

The monarchy has always been classy and, above everything, private. I have no doubt that they’ve had their issues, as every single family in the world has had. But it has always stayed amongst only themselves, which is the way it should be, with everyone, but especially royalty.

As a side note, on the eve of their wedding five years ago, I asked a young couple whom I met that night if they were planning to watch the wedding the next morning. The girl said no, explaining very matter-of-factly of Meghan, “She’s untrustworthy,” with the guy agreeing. They both said they couldn’t put their fingers on it, but that’s the feeling they were having. Many of us had that same inkling back then, including yours truly. I was really hoping I would be wrong about her, and that the Royal Family would just enjoy each other and live happily ever after. But it’s only gotten worse since then.

So the one good thing she’s ever done for anybody is to stay away from England during the Coronation.

Now let’s put this creepy couple behind us, and get on to baking scones and finding fascinators next week! I’ll happily discuss all of that for you on Monday.

There’s soooo much to say about this year’s strange Oscars, and I was planning to say it all right now.

The slap heard ’round the world!

But Will Smith ruined so much for so many with his selfish thuggishness, (including me, by making double the work for me in these past two days,) that I have to postpone my entire show review until tomorrow, to address just his insanity in this article.

He dragged the Oscars down to street level with his oh-soooo classless display. I think that just about everyone else in the world knows that you don’t street-brawl on live TV, ever.

In case you don’t know what happened at Sunday night’s Oscars, (which seems impossible,) presenter Chris Rock made a joke about Jada Pinkett-Smith’s shaved head. He said, “Jada, I love ya. G.I. Jane 2, can’t wait to see it,” referencing the 1997 film where Demi Moore shaved her head.

Will Smith, laughing at Chris Rock’s joke, (while his wife disapproves of it,) minutes before rushing the stage and slapping him. Photo by Karen Salkin.

It was probably the most benign joke that Chris has ever told. It wasn’t insulting at all, so when Will Smith jumped on stage and walked over to Chris, Chris was laughing along with the rest of us. We all thought it was what we show biz folks refer to as “a bit.” And then Will hauled-off and slapped him! For reals. It was horrible.

Will said he was defending his wife, but he had even just laughed at the GI Jane joke! Heartily! He laughed, and then sauntered on to the stage. Which means he had plenty of time to think it over and stop himself. So he can’t even lie and say it was in the heat of the moment because there’s all that video proof that it definitely was not.

I sure wish they had some footage of what happened in the minute between him happily laughing at Rock’s joke, then strolling on up there to be violent. My guess is that the always-controlling Jada told him to do that for her.

But they seemed absolutely fine when earlier in the telecast, Regina Hall, one of the three hosts of the show, intimated that they swing. She was doing a repulsive bit about swabbing male celebrities’ throats with the back of her tongue, (more on that tomorrow,) and was calling some men up to the stage for that bit of disgustingness. After she chose a few of them, she said, “Will Smith, you’re married, but you know what–you’re on the list, and it looks like Jada approved you. So you get on up here.” He declined to go, but both Smiths were laughing and applauding the whole time.

That bit harked back to the fact that the duo had to finally admit that Jada had been having an affair for years, with Will adding that they were not monogamous. And then, over the years, they’ve tried to walk back from all that. So, if they had to have a beef with someone at the Oscars, why not get angry at Hall for dredging-up their private lives in such a public forum??? That’s so much worse than the basically nothing joke that Chris made, so why didn’t Will defend his wife’s virtue at that point?

Conversely, they were both all smiles earlier, when one of the female hosts joked about making-out with Will! Photo by Karen Salkin.

And what if Smith had smacked Hall for her joke? Would the reaction of the assemblage and the producers, and the world, for that matter, be the same as it’s been for his assaulting a man?

As I tweeted when it happened, Smith should have been arrested for assault! After all, Chris has millions of witnesses!!! And he could have been seriously injured. If that hard slap had knocked him down, he could have hit his head and gotten a concussion, or worse. But he has turned the other cheek, and declined to press charges. Heck, I have a feeling that he’ll even be the one to apologize!!! (Although he definitely should not.)

And let me be the first to point-out, (because I haven’t seen it mentioned anywhere in these past two days,) that Chris Rock did nothing to retaliate! I have no idea how he held himself back; if someone assaulted me, weak as I am, I would have hit him back, pronto. But Chris stood there, in shock, with his hands behind his back, and didn’t even swear back at the foul-mouthed Will Smith, who cursed at him like he was any place other than the revered Oscars.

Will Smith, cursing Chris Rock out once he got back to the his seat in the audience. Note the shock on the face of Lupita Nyong’o. Photo by Karen Salkin.

When the slap happened, the sound was so loud that I, thinking it was a staged comedy bit, was impressed that the sound people could time it that exactly. I went back over it several times trying to figure-out how it had been accomplished. I deduced that somehow, Will had hit Chris’ microphone on purpose, as a gag. So when I moved the show on, and saw him screaming a profanity at Chris from the audience, I was in shock!

How did Will Smith have no control over himself, especially in such a public place as that??? He could have just gone backstage when Chris’ award presentation was over, and yelled at him. Was Smith not aware that he was up for an Oscar in a little bit???

By the way—nobody in the world knew that Jada has alopecia!!! I’m sure Chris Rock has better things to do than learn about whatever-the-heck goes on in that weird family. If he knew, he would have just made a joke about someone else.

Chris Rock still thought that Will Smith was doing a “bit,” up until he got slapped. He’s still laughing at this point, and saying, “Uh-oh.” Photo by Karen Salkin.

Those two Smiths are so desperate for Hollywood to love them; they just can’t take being so reviled, which they are even moreso now.

Here’s an update since this horror show occurred:

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences say that they “strongly considered” kicking Will Smith out of the Oscars ceremony after he slapped Chris Rock, and have now launched a formal review into the incident.

The statement they released yesterday reads, “The Academy condemns the actions of Mr. Smith at last night’s show. We have officially started a formal review around the incident and will explore further action and consequences in accordance with our Bylaws, Standards of Conduct, and California law.”

It’s good they’re doing that because the Academy’s Standards of Conduct state that it is “categorically opposed to any form of abuse.” But I have a feeling they’ll do nothing, except maybe kick him out of the Academy itself, if he’s even already in there.

All that being said, I’m torn over what they should do about this horrible situation. On one hand, he should have been thrown-out on the spot. And I do feel that he definitely needs to be stripped of his Oscar. Behaviors have consequences.

Will Smith walking back to his seat, after assaulting Chris Rock live on-air, looking satisfied with his rotten self. Photo by Karen Salkin.

But on the other hand, I would also feel terrible if an Oscar, (especially a deserved one, as in this case,) would be taken away for something outside of the voting on the performances. I voted for him for the Screen Actors Guild Awards, because even though I am soooooo not a fan, his work deserved it this year. Especially up against one of the weakest crops of actors ever. (For examples of stronger fields, Morgan Freeman would have won in any other year for Driving Miss Daisy, but he had to lose out to one of the most  incredible performances ever–Daniel-Day Lewis in My Left Foot. And Robert DeNiro had to win for Raging Bull, while John Hurt was also worthy for his astonishing portrayal of The Elephant Man. But this year, the other four nominees’ performances were just up to the standard of what movie stars should be doing, not anything above and beyond.)

Meanwhile, where have Smith’s publicists been in all of this?! Why haven’t they released some sort of “mea culpa” statement, even though we all know how insincere it would be. [Update since I first penned this article: Now we know where they were since the incident—crafting an apology to Chris supposedly from Smith, which he finally issued late yesterday. Too little, too late, in my opinion.]

Still, I’m sure nothing will happen to derail Smith’s career. Alec Baldwin killed someone last year, for God’s sake, and he’s still doing movies right now!!!

Will Smith ended his acceptance speech later on that evening with, “I hope the Academy invites me back.” Let’s all hope they never do. (But I predict that Rock and Smith will be presenting, or even hosting, together next year! Bite my tongue. And that the show will go back to having a proper stage that won’t be as easy to jump on to!)

Chris Rock standing on stage in shock after getting bitch-slapped by Will Smith. Photo by Karen Salkin.

We do know one thing—all the talk show hosts are scrambling to book both those dudes, and anyone else who was in that front area of the audience the other night.

There’s one more truly sad and shameful aspect to this debacle. I always hear African-Americans say that they have to behave better than everyone else, which should not be the case, at all. But, if that does have even a modicum of truth, we all witnessed Will Smith shaming not only himself and his family, but his race, and setting their progress back decades. So now expect another “Oscars So White” next year.

I could go on and on about this slap topic. But Will Smith has wasted soooo much time out of all of our lives that I have to just move on now, and finish my review of the entire Oscars presentation. So I have to end this one here.

But please follow me on Twitter, @MajorCelebrity, to make sure not to miss the rest of my bon mots on this topic; you never know what else may occur to me at any time.

Update: With a day to think it all over, I predict that Will Smith, per his PR people, will enter rehab very soon, for both anger management and PTSD from his father abusing his mother. Most of us will see through that ploy, but I do hope the Academy lets him keep his Oscar, because it was voted on before the slap. But they really need to kick him out of the Academy and ban him from future Oscars. That’s the best solution for all.

I have no doubt that Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are each other’s true loves. I’ve always felt that Ben got with the other Jennifer, Garner, on the rebound, and Lopez got the same way with—well, everyone. So I’m happy for two middle-aged people to finally get back together and rectify their relationship for the years they have left. (And yes, I hope we get to see how it goes when they start looking their ages in perhaps their sixties or seventies!)

Look at what a happy family this was! Alex Rodriguez and his two girls with Jennifer Lopez and her twins. Such a shame for the kids that it’s over now.

What I do object to is…how JLo treated her recent fiancé, Alex Rodriguez, which has also adversely affected their four kids. Alex will get over it; I don’t know if the kids ever will. We don’t know how being separated from three other people each one was used to, and loved, will manifest in their later lives. [Note: I say “three people” on each side because each child lost not only the main other adult in his or her life, but also the two children of the other adult.]

Again, if JLo and Ben are soulmates, which I have a feeling they are, I have no problem with them getting back together. But I have issues with the insensitivity of their reunion.

One issue is the public-ness of the new-old relationship. Jen was with A-Rod for four years, they lived together, shared property together, and even tried to buy the Mets together! And his two kids and her two kids were together all the time, especially during the seclusion of the pandemic. They were together so much that I wondered when the kids ever saw their own other biological parent. So none of them want to see image upon image of Jen and Ben so soon after she left Alex.

I’m not sure of the exact timeline, (because no one is who is not in that exact relationship,) but I understand it appears that Ben emailed Jen in January, about a month before the rumors of A-Rod DMing the woman.

With whom do you like Jennifer better? Alex Rodriguez or…

Okay, digression here to discuss that situation! So in about February of 2020, before the JLo-A-Rod break-up, some skanky women from some obscure reality show said that Alex had DMed her on Instagram. (Perhaps surprisingly to some, I’m not really up on any of that stuff. I just found-out that people sent me messages on my Instagram something like four years ago!) So, yeah, it’s not good if your boyfriend is corresponding with someone, but that really isn’t exactly cheating. And, again, I’m not sure of the timeline, but it appears that Ben emailed Jen two months before Alex’s peccadillo. So we don’t know which of Jen and Alex chatted with a member of the opposite sex first. But the woman involved has actually denied that she’s ever even seen A-Rod, so none of us knows what really went on. (But I do know firsthand that anyone can make-up any story about anybody, which is really evil and sad.)

…Ben Affleck?

But if that story, true or false, made JLo want to leave Alex, that’s only her business. Their break-up was uber-sad to fans of their relationship, (such as myself,) but she had to do what she had to do. I still have no issue with it.

What I think was sort-of despicable of her was that…she was back with her long-ago fiancé, Ben Affleck, just two weeks later!!! And in the public eye with it!

Jen and Ben could have been thoughtful to everyone around them and waited at least a month, like the couples from The Bachelor do, so no one would find out. It just would have been more polite to Alex, her significant other of a significant length of time. The whole thing was just so thoughtless.

Jennifer Lopez’s daughter, Emme, holding on to her father, Marc Anthony, while crying over her mom’s break-up with Alex Rodriguez. Heartbreaking.

And not just to Alex—that thoughtlessness hurt all those children. (Jen’s twins with her ex-husband Marc Anthony, Alex’s two daughters with his ex-wife, Cynthia, and even Ben’s three children with his ex-wife, Jennifer Garner, who now have to watch their parents’ new drama play out.) I saw a picture of JLo’s daughter hysterical crying over her mom’s break-up with Alex. Not only did Jen take Alex away from her two kids as a semi-father figure, (Marc Anthony is supposedly really in their lives, and the whole fam seemingly has a really good relationship,) but she also took herself away from Alex’s daughters. Those girls seemed really attached to her at that point, even though they, too, are very close with their own mother, Cynthia.

But the worst part is that she took those four kids away from…each other! After spending soooo much time together, especially in their formative years, that quartet was practically siblings. And now they never see each other at all anymore. On top of that, all of a sudden, JLo’s twins now have to get used to Ben’s three kids!

An unhappy-looking outing with their joint children. (The two in this pic are his.) Look closely at Ben and Jen’s faces–see how furrowed their brows are? That means they’re in distress. (Or maybe she’s just annoyed that she’s wearing such a dowdy dress!) Actually, ALL the images I’ve seen of that day have them looking like that! And she was yelling at her son, too, who is not in this particular picture.

Perhaps Bennifer needs to be reminded that when you have children, their happiness must come before yours. Period. That’s all there is to it. (You knew there was a reason I haven’t had kids, didn’t you? I honestly do not want to share my crayons!)

Jennifer Lopez with Alex Rodriguez and their blended family in happier times…

I just looked through a zillion pix of JLo’s kids with her and Alex Rodriguez and his daughters, and then Jen and her kids with Ben and his kids. And the difference is night and day! Trust me—I’ve spent waaaay too many hours analyzing all those images before I published this.

But ultimately, I wish everyone involved good luck. I really do. For all any of us know, perhaps Alex is really Jen’s soulmate and she’s just using Ben to get back at him for perhaps cheating on her, (which is a strong possibility.) And she does not care if she hurts Ben along the way because…he cheated on her (with strippers) when they were engaged!

…and with Ben Affleck and all their children now. You be the judge of how long this will last.

It’s all so complicated, isn’t it? (So complicated that I’ve repeated some of my themes throughout this article! But they’re all sort-of mushed together in my psyche.) And I can somewhat understand every aspect of the drama except for these:

~ How can Jennifer, (or anyone, actually,) make-out with a smoker??? Especially when she’s so health-conscious? [Note: Ben Affleck is a major smoker.]

~ Which brings me to: how can a work-out freak like Jennifer go from uber-fitness-fan A-Rod to practically-dad-bodied Ben? I do not get that at all. She and Alex were in the gym together just about every day! That seemed to be sooo important to her, to have a partner who cares about his body as much as she does hers.

Ben Affleck smoking just the other night, in case anyone needs reminding of his disgusting habit.

~ And lastly, how has Alex not missed one step since the break-up and subsequent public humiliation??? I see him on tons of baseball games, (where he’s an analyst,) and he hasn’t looked one bit different! When I was doing my TV show, everyone could tell if Mr. X and I even had a small fight because I looked a mess! I’d be pale, my eyes would be all red (from crying,) and I had little to no pizazz on camera. Yet, A-Rod still seems jovial all the time. I really don’t get that. Maybe he’s actually relieved for it to be over.

Okay, that’s it for my analysis of the Alex-Jen-Ben saga. I can’t wait to see everyone’s next moves. Join me, won’t you?

Meghan is a disgrace! I’ve always wanted Prince Harry to find happiness, but that creepy woman is not the way. Why didn’t one of the British blondes just marry him, and make us all happy??? [Note: I have no idea who came up with that pic at the top of this page, but it’s brilliant!]

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

I feel terrible for Harry. He isn’t blameless in this new “quitting the Royal Family” debacle, but he is the hapless dupe. The poor guy has been so vulnerable since he lost his beloved mum all those years ago, when he was just twelve-years-old.

That rotten Markle woman has been planning this current crisis situation from the get-go. I could not loathe a complete stranger more than I do her. She’s caused all this chaos in just a year and a half!!!

And I predicted it all!!! Especially that she’d get pregnant in a nano-second. (If you need proof, you can read my article on their wedding right here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/karens-thoughts-prince-harrys-royal-wedding.)

Megan Markle is just like the lead character in Leave Her To Heaven who gets the man to marry her quickly, after which he realizes that she’s a psycho who’s completely unstable and insanely jealous of everyone around him. (It’s even been reported that Harry was worried that his “unsettled” wife would have a “meltdown” if she remained in the UK.)

Some entities, such as the New York times, have seemed to laud Markle for being, to quote them, “…American, a former actress, biracial, divorced, and a self-described feminist,” which is just nutty to begin with. But they left-out a few things—she’s also a gold-digger, fame whore, and manipulative bi-atch!!! (I’ve actually forgotten that she’s biracial. But you can be sure that she’s going to say that the Royal Family is racist! Mark my words.)

The Markle woman having to demonstrate to the world that she’s pregnant.

And Markle’s timing is always so devious. The Sussexes made their new big announcement, which they knew would be earth-shattering and global-headlines-grabbing, with every Brit glued to it, the day before Kate’s birthday, which has got to be the cherry on the bitch cake! It’s just like another totally rotten thing that Meghan did—she announced her pregnancy at Princess Eugenie’s wedding!!! And then she named her baby “Archie,” which is Prince George’s nickname. She’s always trying to steal someone else’s thunder. (And, unfortunately, she’s succeeding.) I think she’s also jealous that she’s five months older than Catherine, yet sooo much further behind in being respected and revered.

But I’ve got to give Megan Markle this–she is a genius—a frigging evil genius. She’s gotten everything she was hoping for when she first went after Harry. She wanted massive fame, which her pitiful little acting career wasn’t giving her. I’m sure she was also in pursuit of fortune, but that was secondary to her maniacal plan to bag an uber-famous man. She had to find one for whom she was at least sort-of age-appropriate, (before she aged-out of her plan,) and who was super-vulnerable, and desperate for a relationship. And voila—here was the open-wound that is Prince Harry!

Is that her master plan in her hand?

Her next step was to go over to England and find mutual connections who could introduce them. Since he had been sort-of a “party prince,” with horrible judgement, (remember the “swastika incident,” anyone, or the “strip billiards” one?,) she didn’t have much trouble finding him. She made believe she knew nothing about him, (as she declared in their televised engagement presser,) even though everyone in the world knew his entire life! Then she invented that she had all his same interests, (which I’m she had already researched extensively.) Genius, yet oh so evil.

And now I predict that she’ll soon be Robin Givens-ing it. She’s going to throw Harry under the bus as soon as she can figure-out what for, as Robin did to her then-husband, Mike Tyson, (although he did later deserve all the dissing he received.) Megan will have by then wrung everything she possibly could out of the marriage, and won’t need Harry anymore. Her ticket to the Royal Family for life, (much to the chagrin of so many of us,) was having that baby right away. (Yeah, a baby whom she cares so much about that she left him a continent away for the past several weeks, while he’s only eight-months-old!!! What kind of mother does something like that?!?!?! A complete narcissistic sociopath, that’s who!)

And here’s one more of my predictions: When she realizes just how many people are against her, and she becomes desperate to get back into everyone’s good graces, (if she ever even was to begin with!,) I predict that she’ll claim that all of her “megxit” efforts were due to…severe postpartum depression!!! And then she’ll make it a cause of hers, so that new moms everywhere will laud her. (I shouldn’t be giving her any ideas, just in case her scheming mind hadn’t thought of that yet. But if it occurred to me, you know her “team” is already on it.)

Delusional Meghan erroneously thinks that she’s going to fare as well as Diana did when she left Charles. But I have news for Markle—she’s the opposite of beloved—she’s reviled! And if she dies, as Diana did, there will be few mourning her.

An on-line cartoon of how many of wish they’d wind-up!

And it’s come-out that she’s already set-up many fame-and-money-producing opportunities for herself now. A lot was made of her “sacrifice” of giving-up her website when she became a royal, which most woman would consider a no-brainer; writing crap all day or living with the man you love. And as one of the most famous people in the world, to boot! So now she’s already secured a new website. And some deals with fashion lines, and even a voice-over deal, which Harry begged the president of Disney for when the man was a guest at a royal dinner! When Markle guested-edited a magazine last year, I’m sure her wheels were already turning to get a mag for herself, à la what Oprah did! I’m really hoping that it all falls apart for her. In a big way.

I was trying to figure-out why I’m so upset about all this, when these people are total strangers to me. And this I realized: I hate when evil wins. (The only British person who can possibly be happy about this is Fergie—she’s finally no longer the scourge of the royal fam!)

I just hope that someday, Prince Harry can find true happiness with an old flame, just like his father did.

As all of England is, (along with much of the rest of the world,) I’m watching closely to see what’s going to happen with this stressful-for-the-Monarchy (and for me) situation. I hope they strip those ungrateful d-bags of their titles, and then we’ll see how well they fare.

Prince Harry and James Hewitt. (Which is which?)

Okay, here’s something that I wonder if anyone else has thought of. (Perhaps they have, but I’m the only one who’s brave enough to communicate it to the masses.) If Prince Harry insists on leaving “The Firm,” the Queen should finally insist on a paternity test for him. If, as we all think, his father is actually Princess Di’s occasional lover, the ginger-haired James Hewitt, and not Prince Charles, Harry is not a royal at all! And then we’ll see how fast that Markle creep leaves him! His carrot-top would spin! And please remember—you read it here first!

Today is actually May Day, which I heralded here in INAM for the first time last year. It worked out so well then, that I decided to do it again this year. Once again, there’s so much to review and preview this month, (as there seems to be every year at this time.) So I’m celebrating May Day by sharing all that info with you.

Let’s begin with some quick wrap-ups:

Manny Davis and Karen Salkin. Photo by Karen Salkin.

LA JEWISH FILM FESTIVAL—The opening night in Beverly Hills was really fun. After a quick dessert reception, (which featured little packages of cookies to bring into the theatre,) we settled in for a screening of Sammy Davis Jr.–I’ve Gotta Be Me, a wonderful documentary about my old pal Sammy, which featured a ton of info about the icon that even I never knew! It was so riveting that I totally forgot to eat my cookies! (And for me to forget about food is a really big deal!) I was thrilled to re-connect with his son, Manny, who was my little buddy back in the day. He made me cry that night when he told me that he had thought of me often through the years because I was “one of ” his “most precious people.” You can be sure that we’ll stay connected now. Thanks, LAJFF!!! (And there are still a couple of more nights of events, so you can still get in on the fun, here: www.lajfilmfest.org.)

Nigel Lythgoe and company. Photo by Rex Geert.

A SHAKESPEARE JUBILEE AT THE WALLIS—This kick-off of BritWeek in L.A. did not disappoint. I’m far from a fan of Shakespeare, but with so many on-stage participants, there was a lot of variety, (including some opera!,) and no scenes were too long. Shockingly, (because he’s not an actor,) Nigel Lythgoe’s appearance as Bottom from A Midsummer Night’s Dream, complete with four fairy children, was the hit of the evening! (That’s a photo of the evening’s entire cast at the top of this page, by Rex Geert.)

The San Antonio Spur great, Manu Ginobili. Photo by Karen Salkin.

THE NBA PLAY-OFFS, TO THIS POINT—I plan to write about the NBA play-offs at length again this year, but here are a few quick observations so far, to tide-over my fellow sports fans out there: 1) Brent Barry is the best commentator. He’s no-nonsense, has a soothing voice, and gives us lots of good sense info. 2) I’m in love with Jazz stars Ricky Rubio and Donavan Mitchell!!! 3) The Utah Jazz is my fave team now, followed by the Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers. 4) Chris Weber always tells us what the players are “saying,” which just cracks me up. 5) I hadn’t realized that nutty Lance Stephenson of the Indiana Pacers went to Lincoln High School in Brooklyn!!! So did my father, who later became the Chairman of the Speech Department there, and also the President of the Alumni Association, which he actually founded! So, no wonder I get a kick out of his antics. (Those of Lance, not my deceased dad!) And lastly, for now, 5) I wept when it might be the last games of Dwayne Wade, Tony Parker, and mostly Manu Ginobli. But it is sort-of nice to witness exciting new blood.

Karen Salkin, rocking her bandage in her own creative way. Photo by Mr. X.

SURGERY UPDATE—My dozen stitches came out last week, so now I’m on the mend. I’m thrilled to be out of the woods with this particular skin cancer episode, but now I have to be checked, all over!, every six months. I guess it’s time to find a woman derm because I’m not getting undressed in front of a male, other than Mr. X, of course! (But he only played a doctor on TV!) And a female I still look better than, because I don’t want to imagine that she’s judging me. And winning! (She may be a doctor but we’re all girls first.) I’m still in a lot of pain, but knock on wood for make-up and bangs! I don’t think that anyone can see how bad it looks right now. (If you missed the whole story, with my health warning to everybody, you can, and should, read it here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/health-skin-cancer-surgery-with-a-warning-for-you-all.)

And now, a few upcoming events that you should not miss:

BLUES IN THE NIGHT—I’ve really missed former Artistic Director Sheldon Epps at the Pasadena Playhouse, so I’m looking very forward to his show at The Wallis this month, Blues in the Night, which he originally produced on Broadway way back in the ’80s! But since it’s comprised of all old blues songs, which tell the story, I’m sure it’s timeless. I’ll do a full review of it next week, but if you just can’t wait, you can get your tickets here right now: www.thewallis.org.

MASTERS OF TASTE—I hope all L.A. foodies will be joining me at the Rose Bowl this Sunday for this really fun, and filling, event! I cannot wait for it! Here’s the story, with all the info you need to join me there this week-end: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/eventdining-masters-of-taste-2018-preview.

The previous fabulous Royal Wedding. (We Americans erroneously thought that Kate was doing the driving.)

THE STUPID ROYAL WEDDING—Let’s just all place bets on how soon creepy Meghan Markle will start speaking with a phony British accent, ala Madonna and Oprah Winfrey. (And also how soon the Brits will start referring to her as “our Meggie!” This e-zine is copy-written, so please remember that you heard it here first!) I’ve been a champion of Prince Harry since he was a kid, so I was hoping for a wife I like better for him. I felt awful for him to lose his precious mother so young, (and, of course, for William, as well,) and to be left with an aloof father, and then have to hear about your erroneous parentage forever. (We all know that he looks just like Diana’s boyfriend during her marriage to Charles, James Hewitt. Harry is the spitting image of him! Everyone knows it, the same way that we all know that Ronan Farrow is the son of Frank Sinatra and not Woody Allen.) I do believe that Harry loves this woman; I just hope that she does him, as opposed to being married to her life-long quest for fame. That Mr. X doesn’t trust her, either, gives me even more pause—he’s rarely wrong about anybody. I’ll still be watching the wedding at the crack of dawn on May 19th, but without the joy that I felt when William and Kate wed. Oh well. But the most important question is—what will I wear to watch it??? A fascinator, for sure. But what topper goes with a fuzzy bathrobe? [Note: I’ll be giving you all the tips for watching the royal nuptials the day before they happen, so please keep an eye out for that article.]

And last but not least, we have…MY GARAGE SALE!!! I hope that strangers have no idea where I live, but if you’re one of my supportive pals reading this, just get in touch with me privately for the deets. I really don’t want to get rid of anything I own, but it’s either that or get rich and move to a bigger house.

I’m wrapping-up my coverage of the recent SAG Awards with my thoughts on the arrivals shown on the E channel. This is how unimportant the media thinks these awards are—E is the only channel covering the walk-ins live, as opposed to at least four for the Oscars and Emmys.

I’m sharing these separate from my review of the actual awards show, so that neither article would be too long for you to read at one sitting. (If you missed the previous one, you can still read it here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/awards-show-2018-sag-awards.)

White as a ghost Dakota Fanning. You’ll have to scroll down to see what award I gave her. Photo by Karen Salkin.

And, in full disclosure, I didn’t watch the arrivals live; I actually wound-up watching them the next day, because they were on against the football play-offs, and you know I wasn’t going to miss sports!

So, here are my thoughts, in the order they appeared on the arrivals show. The two hosts—that Rancic woman and a new one, Nina something-or-other, were as bad as can be. And, on top of their inanity, (like Nina talking non-stop and over everyone,) there was one extra correspondent who said hi near the top of the show, but we never saw that girl again! Did she appear on camera just to tell us their position on the red carpet?!  I don’t get that.

So here goes with what happened on E as the guests arrived for the SAGs, with the second incident being one of the worst things I’ve ever seen on one of these shows!:

The interview that the Nina woman did with the two boys from Stranger Things was beyond uncomfortable!

OMG—How c-wordy of that Rancic bi-atch to ask adorable Allison Brie, who’s married to Dave Franco, her thoughts on the accusations against her brother-in-law James Franco, and word it that she should enlighten us because she’s also “a supporter of the TimesUp movement!”  Rancid (as I now have to call her) absolutely sabotaged that poor girl on what should have been a wonderful night for her!  Ugh.  I used to have only disdain for that skin-and-bones woman, but now I absolutely loathe her for doing that!

Alliosn Brie went from this happiness…

…to this face when that Rancid person asked her the most inapporpriate question on the red carpet!

But now I adore Allison Brie!  I had never even heard of her before The Disaster Artist, but, even though her happy face and demeanor totally changed when she heard that unbelievably crass question, her reply was spot-on and thoroughly composed. You go, girl!

Milo Ventimiglia’s weird hair. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I never cared about him one way or another, but Milo Ventimiglia seems like such a sweet, nice guy.

But what was up with his hair? The back looked like either a bad wig or awful extensions. It was very weird.

Rancid asked new-ish actress Kelly Marie Tran, who she wanted to meet that night, and her dumb answer was Oprah, who wasn’t there and was not even due to be there!

That Nina woman was so rude to Jason Clarke of Mudbound.  She asked, “How do you feel about [something] because Mudbound has really struggled…,” and then when he was talking it up, she rushed him off. So the question about his “struggling” film was rude, and then it got worse for him! I hope this Aussie doesn’t think all of us Americans are like that!

Hong Chau.

I was so happy to see that Hong Chau is as lovely as I had hoped. And all her red carpet posing was adorable, not full-of-beans, as most others are.

This was a tad weird, though–Hong looked so much older as herself than she did in Downsizing.  Either the movie had great make-up people, or Hong doesn’t!

Sam Rockwell’s annoying girlfriend, Leslie Bibb, totally hijacked his interview!  We wanted to hear what the nominee and eventual winner had to say, not her thoughts on his recent Golden Globes win. Someone needs to tell that woman that it’s not about her!!!

Allison Williams. Nice posture, eh? Photo by Karen Salkin.

I’ve never seen Stranger Things, and did not think I’d like Millie Bobbi Brown, but she named the following as her top three acting inspirations: Audrey Hepburn, Angelina Jolie, and Jodie Foster, so now I have to admire her; that was so astute of a young girl to come up with that impressive list on the spot like that.

I give Holly Hunter so much credit for speaking intelligently during this red carpet baloney!

Allison Williams could not have looked worse.  The make-up, her filthy hair that was trying for some flapper-type ’do that did not work, and the ill-fitting dress, paired with her terrible slouching posture.  Yuck.  And that horrible nasal voice was the icing on the crap cake.

Margot Robbie.

I love classy, adorable Margot Robbie.  That girl cannot look bad no matter what she does.  Her hair was sort-of a mess, with no special style, but she still looked beautiful. (But why does she never smile on red carpets?)

It’s so weird to see previously adorable Goldie Hawn with the same cutesy visage she’s always had, but all wrinkled and haggard-looking now.  It’s sort-of sad.  But that’s what happens when you live at the beach, I guess. (Or, perhaps more accurately, make it into your seventies!) [Note: That’s Goldie and her daughter Kate Hudson in the big photo at the top of this page.]

I met Bob Odenkirk a few years ago, and had no idea who he is.  We sat next to each other in an audience of a magic show, and I asked if he was in Nebraska. I had no idea that he had ever done any other work! It turns-out that he’s been working forever, just not on any shows I watched.  He could have listed all his other credits to me, but left it at the one I had asked about. He was at that show alone, just to support a friend, who was one of the magicians who was so fabulous that he didn’t even need anyone there. But there Bob was. Listening to his interview on the red carpet at the SAGs, I was so glad to see that he’s still the same good guy whom I met.

And Laurie Metcalfe is as nice as I had hoped, as well.

What is this hair-do on Emily Gordon?! Photo by Karen Salkin.

This one I hate to say, but Kumail Nanjiani’s co-writer wife, Emily Gordon, is already—how shall I put it?–not exactly a looker, so why would she wear her hair like that to make it worse?! She had some sort of very short bangs, but it was even more severe than that. Why wouldn’t she try to look as good as she can? I never get that, about anyone.

But they are a very cute couple, and I root for them. (I even hope they win an Oscar for their script.) And I give them sooo much credit for writing their fabulous film, The Big Sick.

Nina took the mike away from every-award-this-season frontrunner Gary Oldman as he was answering her question!!!  How awful of her. That offense is unforgivable!

Olivia Munn told a story about Sandra Bullock being so nice, and I had the same experience with her! Way back in the day, she and I were finalists for the lead role in a TV show, (that turned-out to be awful, without us, of course! And, by the way, the role was to basically play me! That’s what the script even said! And I didn’t get it!) I had to go in after Sandra, and I was sick, which everyone could tell. She stopped to talk to me about it, which, trust me, girls who are up for the same role never do! She was already a tiny bit successful at the time, so she could have been uppity about having to read for the role, but she was the opposite. So I loved hearing Olivia’s story about her, as well.

Rail-thin Nicole Kidman. Photo by Karen Salkin.

But, of course, even though Olivia was telling real person, fun stories, that Nina person cut her off.

How skinny is Nicole Kidman?!  When I was a young starlet, everyone made such a fuss about how skinny I was, because no one else was back then, but now I’m a tad chubby while everyone else is a rail!

That Rancid woman asked Mary J. Blige, “What do you mean by, ‘This is a really great time?’ ”  What did she think she meant??? As she herself had just mentioned at the top of the interview, Mary was a double nominee at the SAGs!!!  What an idiot!

Mary J. Blige is so honest, sincere, and not at all full-of-baloney!

Then Rancid asked her, “What was that like?,” referring to that Mary had just received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  Without skipping a beat, Mary answered, “It was like being high.” Love that honest answer!!!

The winner for Most in Need of a Tan is paleface Dakota Fanning.

Yael Grobglas and Gina Rodriguez.

I love that Gina Rodriguez brought her co-star, and nemesis on Jane The Virgin, Yael Grobglas, with her.  And Yael really was the classiest-looking one there!

But Nina left her just hanging there for the whole long interview of Gina! She didn’t ask her even one question or include her in any way. How incredibly rude!

One final thought here: I read elsewhere that people were upset that Rancid and Nina were basically dismissive of the very few Asians on the red carpet. (Hong Chao, Olivia Munn, Kelly Marie Tran.) I understood exactly what they’re talking about. The E hosts are always totally insensitive, while thinking they’re asking the profound questions. Enough of them already! That channel needs to hire new people, pronto. But they never will.

Okay, that’s it for the arrivals. Now on to the Grammys this Sunday! (Am I the only one who thinks these awards shows are too close together? We audiences, and journalists, need a break in-between, don’t ya think???)

By the way–I am planning on live-tweeting the Grammys again, so you might want to follow me before then, if you don’t already. @MajorCelebrity. And then my full review will be published on here next week, so keep an eye out for that, too.