Because, as many of you may know, I’ve been watching every second of the Olympics, which got derailed by many hours because I also watched the Super Bowl and much of the attendant coverage, I had decided to let myself off the hook this year, and forego writing a review of the football championship.

But then, as the commercials rolled on, I thought that I should at least take some notes about them, just in case I had a change of heart about the situation. And, of course, I have! But just a slight one.

The Super Bowl winning Seahawks’ quarterback, (Sam Darnold,) MVP, (Kenneth Walker III,) and Head Coach (Mike Macdonald.)

So first just a very few thoughts on the rest of it, followed by my commercial takes.

First and foremost, major congrats to the Seattle Seahawks! That was quite the interesting win for them. I was rooting for them from the get-go, for several reasons, only a small part of which is because I detest the Patriots’ owner. (And Mr. X dislikes the Patriots’ coach.)

As to the aspect of the proceedings that received the most pre-event hype, Bad Bunny’s halftime show, I loved it! It was glorious. Perhaps he could have sung at least a tiny bit in English, (only because he has in the past—I can’t wrap my head around all that political stuff right now,) but it really didn’t matter, at all. The music, dancing, and pure joy were the point. And who can understand any lyrics these days, anyway, no matter the language; I just listen to the music.

Bad Bunny Halftime Show.

As far as the commentators go, I got a kick out of Cris Collinsworth surprisingly singing the kids’ song, Skip To My Lou, when one of the guys did a skipping step when running with the ball. That was cute.

Lastly before my ads round-up, I wish that all sports announcers had Mike Tirico’s cut-through-the-air voice, especially on the Olympics! So much of what the others are saying blends in with the crowd noise, music, whatever, since few sound mixers for sports shows do their jobs well. (By the way, as I tweeted last week, Olympics commentator Dan Hicks has that great kind of voice, as well. If it were up to me, Dan and Mike did all the work on every sport.) [Note: But I hate that Dan is among the sportscasters who incorrectly say “pUdium,” for “pOdium.” Ugh.]

Adrien Brody bringing it!

Now here are the highlights, (and lowlights,) of the commercials for me:

The best of the bunch were all three of Adrien Brody’s TurboTax ones. (However, I just had to look-up what company the ads were for, so that’s not good for what they were trying to accomplish with them. But Adrien deserves awards for them!)

Lay’s “farmer getting old and retiring” one pulled on my heartstrings.

Even Emma Stone’s commercial was scary! The purpose of it, and what company it was for, though, weren’t clear, but it reminded me of her last two horrible movies.

The message of the Redfin ad was beyond bogus. Yeah, I’m sure people will be nice to their new neighbors because they bought a house from Redfin! Not.

Right after a commercial telling us to not judge girls’ body types, the very next ad was about how jeans look on butts!!! What terrible planning on the part of NBC!

The Bud Light ad showing people throwing themselves down a dangerous hill for a beer was disgusting!!! It totally sends the wrong message to…everyone!

Perfect ad for a football game! I hope it wins lots of awards.

The one for RelaxItsABloodTest.com, (which tests men for prostate cancer,) was sort-of hilarious. And it’s oh so important! I actually loved it.

The Pokemon one was a tad weird, but interesting. I had thought Pokemon was so over years ago, maybe that’s because my last little kid pals grew up, so I haven’t heard of them since.

Sabrina Carpenter’s Pringles ad (where she fell in love with a “man” made of the potato chips, and then a crowd, including her, ate him!,) was just eww.

Not the ad itself, because it was a bit confusing, but the company, Search Party, is a great idea! I’ve been a little concerned about how far technology has come, and just how fast, but using doorbells around the neighborhood to find your lost pet could be revolutionary! I’m sure it can also be used to locate missing people, but they probably don’t want to say it in a commercial because it’s too depressing, whereas doing it for dogs has a hopeful sense. (But I have a feeling we’ll all learn more about it on Dateline very soon.)

Okay, that’s it for the Super Bowl this year. I have to get back to my Olympics-watching!

Yay!!! The Eagles won! And even better—the Chiefs lost. As I said—yay!

This was so my exact kind of game. Not only did my team win, but the team I detest was humiliated!

Photo by Karen Salkin.

I was praying soooo hard for the Eagles, for many reasons: 1) They deserve it. 2) I hate the Trump-loving Chiefs. 3) I love Saquon Barkley and Jalen Hurts.  I’m so happy for those guys.  4) With the recent plane crash, and death of a fan in celebration, Philly needs some happiness. 5) For some unknown reason, my friends in Rhode Island and South Carolina adore this team.

@MajorCelebrity’s most popular tweet ever!

I’m sorry that I didn’t think to tell you in advance that I might live-tweet about some of the proceedings. Despite that lack, one of my tweets, about Tom Brady, has over four and a half thousand views! That’s more than how many followers I have on that platform!!! There are only a few tweets up there, (because I got too behind for them to be “live” anymore,) but if you’re curious to still see them, I’m @MajorCelebrity.

GAME

I truly believe that I helped the Eagles win because Mr. X and I ate an expensive frozen pizza, (that we had never even seen before,) that came in a green and white box! I’m not kidding about how many superstitious things I do. In all situations!!!

What a fun opening graphic! And Fox must have known something–they put the two Eagles stars on it, but only Patrick Mahomes for the Chiefs! Photo by Karen Salkin.

It was the most unexciting game, with little tension, but that’s what I love. Only when my team is winning, of course.

By the way—contrary to what some of my friends thought, the Eagles are not my basic team. They’re one of the teams I really like, but this season I was rooting for the Buffalo Bills or Detroit Lions to go all the way. As I do with basketball, I choose my football team each year based on their personnel. (With baseball, I’m a diehard fan of the Yankees and Mets.)

PRE-KICK SHOW

What was up with the on-camera females’ shoulder pads? I actually wore some recently, thinking I’d get the ‘90s trend started again, but I didn’t think it would catch on as it apparently has. So, good for me!

Arik Armstead, the Walter Payton Man of the Year. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I’m always so happy when they show all the Walter Payton Man of the Year nominees, one from each team. Just seeing them in person makes me cry. For me, and I’m sure for all caring people, it’s the most important award of each season because it’s given to the most kind players. (But I hate to say it, the winner, Arik Armstead of the Jacksonville Jaguars, who spoke so well otherwise, said that he’s so “gracious” instead of “grateful,” a very bad mistake that I’ve heard several others make from time to time. I’m only pointing it out so that if you do that, too, you’ll know to fix it now.)

It’s good they began that part of the all-day coverage with a tribute to the victims of the January 1 shooting in New Orleans. And they included the victims of our LA fires and all the other tragedies that have already shamefully happened in this young year. There have been so many sad things that have happened in this country in the past six or seven weeks since 2025 began, that I actually forgot about the New Orleans one until they mentioned it on the Super Bowl! It’s all waaay too sad.

HALFTIME SHOW

I ran hip-hop clubs for a few years, and Mr. X is a krump dancer, so we’re obviously not against Kendrick Lamar’s music. But it was a very odd choice for the Super Bowl Halftime Show. It’s too niche. I would venture a guess that less than half the audience members were interested in it. So at least they sold more concessions during halftime than usual.

And yes, now I understand that his entire performance was supposed to be some sort of message, and not just about his beef with Drake. But the Super Bowl Halftime Show is supposed to be about fabulous entertainment and not messages. On-line trolls need to stop telling everyone they didn’t “understand” it; the musical show is not meant to be “understood,” (except maybe the lyrics, which is this case, I needed the subtitles for,) and no one is wrong for not doing so. so enough already.

Andy Reid’s perplexed expression during Jon Batiste’s National Anthem. Photo by Karen Salkin.

And SZA, who Mr. X said “can really sing!,” is not a big enough guest, as have been in previous years. (As Alicia Keys was for Usher last year, and Bruno Mars and Beyonce were for Coldplay in 2016.)

And they didn’t even have the usual big elevated stage.

I hate to say it, but even Mr. X said, “Make it stop!” I actually could have done that because we were very behind at that point, but I always want to be fair, and watch the whole thing before I pass final judgement.

So I feel that by the end, aided by excellent dancers, Lamar was actually holding his own. Mr. X agreed, but pointed-out “he doesn’t have a broad appeal.”

He was actually the anti-very first halftime performer. Do you know who it was?  You will never guess. Ready? Carol Channing!!! We know which one Orange Hitler would prefer to see, because she was only half black! (I’ve been refraining from mentioning him, but I couldn’t help myself on this one.)

OTHER MUSIC

Lady Gaga and her bad brows and teeth. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Lift Every Voice and Sing is a good enough song, (and it’s a one-hundred-year-old hymn,) but I guess it is sort-of rude/weird/off-putting to have a “black national anthem” sung at the Super Bowl, which is supposed to be for all people. The producers must have been a tad embarrassed about it because they tried to explain it. And Ledisi usually sings better than she did there, except for her fabulous last note. The ASL signer was actually the best aspect of the number, but they didn’t even show him for more than a second!

Lady Gaga’s musical tribute to the victims of the January 1st NoLo attack, and other horrors, was very good and moving. But someone, please—send the woman an eyebrow pencil!!! Her crazy recent look, combined with her discolored teeth, are distracting every time she takes to the airwaves.

But they brought the room back up with a really fun Mardi Gras-esque music performance headlined with a jubilant native New Orleans son, Harry Connick, Jr.

The Mardi Gras-esque pre-show music. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I love Jon Batiste’s music, but he’s far from a great singer. I think Kansas City Chiefs coach Andy Reid’s face said it all during Jon’s National Anthem, which I actually wound-up liking. A little bit. (Mr. X said it’s like one of my musical bits, which are all comical, I promise you—I can’t sing!)

COMMERCIALS

There didn’t seem to be the usual really important commercials of past years. And there were zero special ads for the entire first quarter.

The Law Brothers funny commercial. Photo by Karen Salkin.

And then, finally, a really fun one! And it’s local—it was for The Law Brothers. It actually cracked me up. A few times!

The one with Seal as a—what else—seal, was downright creepy! They must have given him a fortune to prostitute himself like that!!!

The Stand Up to Hate one with Tom Brady and Snoop Dogg was good. It says it all.

I loved the emotional Rocket Take Me Home one; when it was over and they cut to the Super Bowl crowd, the whole place was singing that song!!!

The one for HexClad pans with Pete Davidson and Gordon Ramsey was funny.

I loved the Ram trucks one with Glen Powell as Goldilocks was very clever.

Roger Federer, The Stranger I Love Most, with Elmo. Photo by Karen Salkin.

What a stupid campaign from Nike, saying dumb sentences along the lines of “You can’t win, so win.” Ugh.

I loved the on.com one with Elmo and Roger Federer because…Roger. It’s charming. (But even my 147IQ did not get that the logo says “on,” until the very end.)

Only because I adore colors soooo much, (I actually have a room in my tiny house called “The Crayon Room,”) I liked the sort-of stupid one for Nerd candy with Mr. X’s favorite new music artist, Shaboozey.

The Lay’s one with a little girl growing just one potato, with the lyrics of the music saying, “If you were a kiss I know I’d want to be a hug,” was so lovely it made me cry.

Shaboozey. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Kanye West paid for an ad for himself, as opposed to being paid to do a real commercial. That was soooo many millions for him to spend! What an idiot. (Duh—we already knew that about him.) (And we found-out the next day it was for him to sell tee-shirts with swastikas on them! He needs to be arrested. He can share a cell with Diddy.)

It’s offensive that Jeep used the concepts of being “free” people and heroes such as servicemen, to sell their Wranglers.

They saved the best for (almost) last. David Beckham and Matt Damon as long-lost twins was just about brilliant.

POST-GAME

They did the Trophy Ceremony all wrong! First of all, interviewer Terry Bradshaw showed up late to do the hosting honors, and then he not only didn’t hand Jalen Hurts his MVP trophy, but he barely even talked to him!!! And then he didn’t chat with any of the other players at all! I would have loved to hear what birthday boys, star Saquon Barkley and rookie Cooper DeJean, (who caught an interception and returned it for a touchdown!,) had to say!

FINAL THOUGHTS

Brad Pitt’s odd and puffy visage. (But, shockingly, he is 61! When did that a happen???) Photo by Karen Salkin.

~ It rattled me that Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, and Tony Brady all looked weird. The first two looked old and puffy, especially Cruise, and Tom Brady looked crazily gaunt and Ozempic-faced. In his case, the quick change in his look in just two weeks could be due to him being miserable because his ex-wife, Gisele, just had had a baby with her new-ish beau, her Jiu-Jitsu instructor with whom she already worked when she was married to Tom. Seriously, stress can do that to a person. I lost sixteen pounds in the first week that I was seeing Mr. X!!!

~ Mr. X saw a sideline reporter and had no idea that’s the woman he was seeing was Erin Andrews because she looked sooo awful! She was never good-looking to begin with, but now she looks old and haggard and puffy, as well.

~ I’ve been less than thrilled that Tom Brady replaced my favorite NFL color commentator, Greg Olsen, who got demoted to Fox’s second team. And all season, I’ve constantly read how bad “everyone” thinks Tom is at his new gig. I’ve listened to him a few times myself, and didn’t notice anything either yay or nay about his commentary.  But I heard every word he said this time, and not only is Tom totally fine at it, but the fact that he has so much to add through the lens of his truly amazing career made it extra-interesting.

~ We were amused that, at one point when the camera showed famous people in the crowd, and one was short Kevin Hart, Tom asked, “Kevin Hart’s here? How do the cameras find Kevin Hart?” So his play-by-play partner, Kevin Burkhardt, chimed in with the apt, “It’s the Roast Revenge Tour for Tom Brady.”

Seriously, is this Carson Wentz or Prince Harry??? Since we can’t see a bald spot, we may never know.

~ I did not know that long-time Eagles quarterback, (and Prince Harry doppelgänger,) Carson Wentz, was a back-up for the Chiefs this season! Who knew?! He’s played so long that I thought he was around fifty already. (He actually just turned only fifty-two.)

~ Near the end, I finally let myself have the victory, and started crying as I said, “I can’t believe they won!” And Mr. X said, “Won?! They massacred them!” Yay!

~ Saquon Barkley wound-up his first season as an Eagle with the most yards rushing, in the season and playoffs combined, in NFL history! You go, boy!

~ One of the absolute best parts of the entire shebang is that they showed Taylor Swift and Orange Hitler only once each!!! And never mentioned them at all. Hitler probably left because his team was losing so badly.

~ This is as good a place as any to share my thoughts on the relationship of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. I had refrained from mentioning them in this article, (or in any, actually,) because she has nothing to do with the Super Bowl whatsoever, and he apparently had nothing to do with it either, based on his dreadful performance. But I’ve revealed my theory to several people, so I figured let’s get it over with here instead of giving it its own full column. Here goes:

Travis Kelce arriving to the Super Bowl looking like an idiot. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I really think that Travis is using Taylor to get fame. He’s been chasing it for years.  He’s made no secret that he wants to act, and in late 2016, he even had a stupid Bachelor-esque reality show to find a girlfriend from fifty contestants. I always imagine that after that, he and his bro were sitting around trying to think of ways for him to get famous, (outside of football,) and they said, “Who’s the most famous single girl I can date, to get publicity because of it?” So he set his sights on always-desperate-for-love Taylor. It’s not like they met naturally—he literally went after her. And it has worked-out beautifully for him; his podcast is now really successful because of it, he’s gotten acting jobs, and he hosts some game show. He’s probably going to retire from football now, and his show biz career is all set up. But—now he’s stuck; if he ever breaks up with her, her legions of fans will make his life hell!!! So now he and his bro have to figure-out a way to make her break up with him! Mark my words.

After yesterday’s tragic (for me) Super Bowl, I realize that I have to disallow myself from watching sports. I’m just too much of an empath to handle the pain when the wrong team or person (in my opinion) wins.

I hope to never reflect on this one again!

I’m honestly way too crushed to even write about Super Bowl LVIII, but since I took these notes throughout, I’m publishing this sad article.

The game was a very hard experience for me. I was sick almost the whole time; my heart was pounding, my hands were shaking. I desperately wanted the San Francisco 49ers to win. There would have been so many amazing stories if that had happened, (i.e. quarterback Brock Purdy going from very last draft pick to Super Bowl winner in one year, and the Shanahan and McCaffrey sons following in their fathers’ victorious footsteps.)

Christian MCaffrey’s very athletic family tree. Photo by Karen Salkin.

And, after rooting for the Kansas Chiefs in the past, it’s enough already with them. They didn’t play very well throughout this season, and then came through for these last few games. I’m honestly sick of them, especially hothead, out-for-himself, probably sneaky Travis Kelce.

Speaking of him, Kelce grabbing and pushing his elderly coach while screaming at him is one of the most disgraceful moments I have ever witnessed in the sport! It was very scary and disgusting. Even former NFL great and now commentator Boomer Esiason mentioned it during the Halftime Show. Good for him. The other panelists should have followed suit, but I have a feeling they didn’t want to get into a beef with the rabid Taylor Swift fans. (In case you’ve been living under a rock, Kelce is her boyfriend now. But after her parents saw this terrifying side of her beau when a bit angry, it may be over soon. And he already got the fame he wanted out of the very public relationship, so he probably won’t even care if she breaks up with him.)

Travis Kelce shoving and screaming at his sixty-five-year-old coach, Andy Reid, because he wasn’t in on a play! Disgraceful! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Despite my disappointment in the outcome, I’m plugging on with the other aspects of this major sporting event.

I have to admit that this is the first time in my life that I’ve watched as many football games as possible. I stayed home just about every Sunday this season, and when I absolutely could not, I recorded the games and watched them later. Mr. X begged me to just rush through them, but I like to watch it all. That’s a true sports fan!

Unlike what I do with baseball, (which is root for my home teams, the Yanks and Mets, always, year after year of my entire life,) for football, I just watch the season unfold, and the teams to root for appear to me over time. So my allegiance changes each year. I’ve liked the Niners since last year, and have slowly gotten sick of the Chiefs.

A close-up of Travis Kelce screaming at his coach, just so Taylor Swift can know what she’s in for.

So I was so nervous for this one that I found myself actually waiting with bated breath for the ads.

On a medical note, why am I the only person who calls these athletes’ Achilles tears? Can’t the commentators see the same pop in the back of the ankles that I do??? I can’t be the only one with orthopedic knowledge! (I actually learned to spot it on Dancing With The Stars, when another athlete, Misty May, tore hers.)  I’m devastated for Dre Greenlaw of the Niners for that to have happened to him, just jogging in from the sideline! What a shame. He was so excited for the game in a pre-show interview.  And they may have won with his defensive skills in the full game.

The only laugh I had during the game, (not counting a very few amusing commercials,) was when Tony Romo accidentally sang along badly to Adele’s song, Rolling in the Deep, which prompted his broadcast partner, Jim Nance, to encourage, “Take it to the commercial there, Mr. Romo.”

THE PRE-GAME FESTIVITIES

Even Mr. X, who doesn’t want to watch the pre-game festivities, said the three-hour long pre-show was full of good features.

There was a great opening montage, featuring some of the players’ families talking about them, before the game began. It actually choked me up.

I had seen Cam Heywood of the Pittsburgh Steelers win what is the most important honor to me, Walter Payton Man of the Year, (for being a superior human being,) in an earlier ceremony this week, but I’m thrilled they showed all the candidates, (a few were missing, though,) again on the field before the game. The viewers need to know about this award.

The pre-game fireworks that no one in the roofed stadium could see!!! Photo by Karen Salkin.

It was a lovely touch to have four coaches and four team members of the Lahainaluna HS football team (from the recently fire-devastated town of Lahaina) do the coin toss at the beginning of the game.

After the toss, which was flanked by four Captains each from the Chiefs and Niners, creepy Travis Kelce shook only opponent George Kittle’s hand, while the other seven all shook each others’. Rude.

Please everyone–you cannot deem something “iconic” before it even happens!!! (That’s what Jim Nance said about Usher’s performance, which was a couple of hours away!)

THE ACTUAL GAME

While I’m still on Coach Andy Reid, here’s his reaction to… (Photo by Karen Salkin.)

…Post Malone! Photo by Karen Salkin.

I covered a lot of it above, and the rest is too hard for me to relive. I’m more of a color commentator, anyway, as opposed to the play-by-play person.

But I do have to say that the absolute most exciting part of the game for me was the double flea flicker which resulted in a Niners touchdown. I was literally screaming. I had never never seen a double one of that very-occasional play before.

Because of that play, and several others, if the Niners had won the game, (I’m sick again now, just writing that,) Jauan Jennings would have deserved the MVP trophy, in my opinion. Jennings became only the second player in history, (the Eagles’ Nick Foles in the other,) to both catch a touchdown pass and throw one in the same Super Bowl game.

THE MUSIC

I love Andra Day, so I’m happy to hear her anytime. But it is kind of rude to other ethnicities to have a black anthem sung.

I feel that Post Malone was an odd choice to sing America the Beautiful!  Chiefs’ Head Coach Andy Reid’s face said, “What the hell???!!!”

Reba McEntire and her new face. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Even though she’s darling, and considered sort-of a “national treasure,” Reba McEntire was another bit of a strange choice. Her rendition of the National Anthem was far from special or even dynamic. They should have chosen someone who headlines Vegas! Poor Reba couldn’t hit many great notes, which was possibly due to having some apparent recent plastic surgery. She looked very weird.

However the Halftime Show was fun. But, despite being a hip-hopper from way back, I knew just that one famous one last song of Usher’s. The best part of his presentation was all the dancing and acrobatics, especially the roller skating. He was brave to roller skate himself; even though he knows he can, there’s always the possibility of falling.

THE COMMERCIALS  (IN THE ORDER THEY WERE SHOWN)

For the most part they didn’t do anything for me, either good or bad. There was neither anything really special nor egregious. But many of them did seem to be trying waaaay too hard, with no noteworthy creativity.

I’m going in order that they were shown, but this is one I have to tell you about right up front, because it pertains to me! OMG to the cute one for T-Mobile Magenta, which featured a lot of celebrities. The “OMG” is because…Laura Dern stole my eye drops bit! I did a cameo in a web series a few years ago, where we had to be dramatic about something at the end. There were about a dozen of us actresses doing the line our own way, so I went a step further and brought eye drops, not to put them in before, “Action,” but during my little bit, which was the joke. I’ve never seen anybody else do that anyplace ever! So now I have to find-out if anyone associated with this ad saw my performance, and stole my own creative bit.

Karen Salkin in a 2018 web series using obvious eye drops to comically fake tears, and then…

…Laura Dern copying Karen Salkin in a new 2024 T-Mobile Super Bowl ad!

Here are my thoughts on the others that stood out for me, for one reason or another:

The M&Ms’ one with Scarlet Johnson was really good.

I enjoyed the Kawasaki Ridge truck ad that declared it’s “business in the front, party in the back.”

The long Michelob Ultra one with Messi was nice, but nothing special.

I always love the talking babies on E-trade ads, this time playing pickleball.

The absolute best one, that actually made me laugh out loud, was the one for Reese’s Big Cups.

The second best, sort-of surprisingly, was the Ben Affleck and JLo one for Dunkin’ Donuts. It’s perfect, as well, because absolutely everyone in New England lives for Dunkin’!

Loved the emotional one for Guided Frame on Google Pixel.

Anthony Hopkins really gives his all to everything he does, including this stupid cold brew ad.  I’m always proud that we share our Business Manager!

If that was Cardi B, (it sounded like her,) she had her entire visage changed recently!!! I didn’t recognize her at all, but it was an ad for a lip plumper, so I’m assuming it was Cardi.

Usher roller skating in the last number of his Halftime Show.

I don’t remember seeing so many make-up ads on the Super Bowl before. I wonder if it could be because they assume many young girls will be watching this year to catch a glimpse of Taylor Swift.

The ad for Pfizer was stupid and desperate.

Also dumb was the Bud Light one with a genie. (But that actor must have been thrilled because the ad gig meant he got to go to the actual game!)

The Kia ice skating one almost made me cry. And Mr. X clapped at the end of it.

I just realized that I didn’t understand even one of the way too many commercials for Homes.com with Heidi Gardner and Dan Levy.

I liked the T-Mobile wi-fi one because I always get a big kick out of Jason Momoa.

AND LASTLY…

Taylor Swift and Black Lively, still feeling the need to show the viewers (who care) that they’re friends. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I’m so sick of Taylor Swift. Why do she and Blake Lively have to stand there hugging each other constantly? Get a room already. Nobody their age acts like that, unless they’re doing it for the camera.

Taylor biting her finger near the end of the game, in worry for her team, is the only non-phony moment she’s ever had at a game.

I’m so glad football season is finally over so that we don’t have to hear about her anymore!!!

To end on a positive note, I actually liked the jewels glued onto Lady Gaga’s face.

Now on to March Madness next month, if the pain of this loss wears off enough in time.

I usually write about each year’s Super Bowl the day after. But this year, Valentine’s Day, (along with Galentine’s Day,) got in the way. So here I am now.

To begin with, I put both the Super Bowl number and the year in the title to make it easier for readers down the line. I hate when they show a clip from a previous game with just the number—few of us can figure out the year from that. Just tell us what year it was, please, and we’re good.

Look how even the seasons of the two Super Bowl teams were before the game! Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

I was conflicted about this game going in—there were reasons to root for both teams. I would usually root for the Kansas City Chiefs, because I’m awed by Patrick Mahomes, who has been powering on despite his painful ankle injury, which got hurt again during the Super Bowl. If I even break a nail, I’m down for the count.

But I rooted for the Philadelphia Eagles to win the 2018 edition, which they did. So I like them, too. And I admire their also-injured quarterback, Jalen Hurts, who’s been playing with a throwing-shoulder injury for weeks. And I think I like the older Kelce brother, Jason, a bit more than younger one. (I’ll explain in a minute.)

So for whom to root was a major conundrum for me. On a personal side note to all of this, I had polished my nails a sparkly red early last week, for Valentine’s month, but I then re-did them green on Thursday for an Ireland luncheon! So they were still green on Sunday, which confused my football team choice even further for me.

So let’s get to discussing it all. I’m not going in chronological order this time, but rather in order of interest: game, music, pre-game festivities, ads, (which were basically much ado about nothing) and trophy presentation. The game turned-out to be so dramatic that I’m compelled to begin with it.

THE GAME

Donna Kelce, the mother of the Jason and Travis, rocking her divded jacket. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

This was the “Super Bowl of firsts!” For the first time in history, two brothers, (close ones, at that,) faced each other. How hard was that for Jason (of the Eagles) and Travis Kelce (of the Chiefs) and their fam?)

And it was also the first time both quarterbacks, the Chiefs’ Patrick Mahomes and the Eagles’ Jalen Hurts, were black! And during Black History Month!

The first half score started-out so close, and then, somehow, the Eagles ended it ten points up. And Mahomes was gimpy again. So I really thought it was all over for the Chiefs at halftime.

And then in the second half, the Chiefs tied it up! And it all came down to one crazy ending. I had never before seen a team avoid getting a go-ahead touchdown…on purpose! That was brilliant strategizing. But it was still a risk. They were counting on using-up the clock so the Eagles wouldn’t have time to score, and winning it themselves with just a field goal. Which is exactly what they did. But their field goal kicker had missed one earlier, so that’s why how it would end was a mystery until the clock actually did run out.

ALL THE MUSIC (IN ORDER)

Jason Derulo gave a great pre-show performance, at what’s billed as the “Tailgate Party,” especially considering that he was still on crutches (from a bad foot injury) just a few days before! I know that others are upset that he used robotic dogs as dancers, but, although the visual was a tad creepy, I thought they were kind-of interesting.

Jason Derulo, with his human and robot dancers. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Sheryl Lee Ralph’s performance was awful!  I could not figure-out what the heck that song was, and later I learned that it’s considered to be the “Black National Anthem.” You know I’m a total Democrat, but I really think there should be just one National Anthem, since we’re one nation. But I’m okay with this new one being sung, if everyone else is. The thing is—that rendition sounded horrible at the Super Bowl; that’s all I’m saying.

Sheryl Lee Ralph giving it her all. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Then Babyface sang America the Beautiful.  I thought he was a producer, not a singer. Well, he proved me right. It was kind-of sweet, but not even close to good enough for the Super Bowl!

Chris Stapleton‘s National Anthem was great, as he always is. You all know I’m not a big fan of country music, per se, but he’s one performer whose work I totally appreciate. (And I was very pleased that he, and his celeb signer, Oscar winner Tony Kotsur, knew enough to not don their signature chapeaus!)

Rihanna and her pregnant stomach! Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

That was excellent halftime music. It was an incredible-but-simple presentation, with great dancers performing fabulous choreography. And Rihanna sang her usual good songs. She didn’t need any guests.

But…I couldn’t take my eyes off her prodding stomach the whole time! I kept going back to check it out from every angle! I had to convince Mr. X of her pregnancy, too, because I couldn’t imagine she’d just let her belly hang out like that if she were not. Then shortly after I had tweeted, (@MajorCelebrity,) “Is Rihanna pregnant again?,” her performance ended and she announced that she is! So…go, me! (I knew she either had to be preggers or had just eaten like I do!)

And, for a bit of Super Bowl Trivia—who was the very first halftime celebrity musical performer? (Answer will be somewhere below. Or guess for yourselves in the Comments at the bottom of this article.)

PRE-GAME FESTIVITIES

How did Michael Vick get a job on the team of pre-game broadcasters? I was in shock! (Still am.) Did everyone forget about his extreme dog abuse??? I, for one, cannot forgive him for it. Are there no other retired players who could be on this already over-crowded panel???

Travis Kelce (in the shades) trying to horn in on Coach Andy Reid’s pre-game interview. Andy did not even flinch. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Coach Andy Reid was doing a classy interview, while his Chiefs team was walking behind him into the locker room, and the only one to stop and intrude was Travis Kelce. That was so rude. I had liked Travis for years, but then, when they won the game to get them into the Super Bowl a couple of weeks ago, during the trophy presentation, Travis had only rude things to say to the city and Mayor of Cincinnati, whom they had just defeated, so I was done with him. And now I like his older brother, Jason, (who plays for the Eagles,) better, so that became one of my conflicts about for whom to root.

I love, love, love color commentator Greg Olsen. I feel so bad that he’s due to lose his job on Fox in 2025 when Tom Brady replaces him. (But I have a feeling they’ll find something else for him—he’s honest, knowledgeable, has an easy-to-listen-to young voice, and is young and attractive!)

Damar Hamlin and his health heroes. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

It was a fun surprise to see Damar Hamlin in an on-field presentation, in a tribute to the trainers, first responders, and hospital personnel who saved his life. I loved that!

And right after that, they introduced the Dallas Cowboy’s Dak Prescott, who had just won the most important award in football, the Walton Payton Man of the Year Award. And the crowd was so rude that they booed him!!! Because he’s a Cowboy. I hate the Cowboys, too, but that was downright disgusting. This player was being celebrated for being the kindest person in the sport, and those idiots booed him because of the team he plays for! Shame on them.

Carissa Thompson and her anorexic arms. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

This is only the second time I’ve ever seen the female member of the team, Carissa Thompson. Last time, I was shocked by how awful her wardrobe is, and this time, I was nauseated by her anorexic arms. Put some sleeves on, woman!

One of the best moments of the day–Eagles Head Coach Nick Sirianni positively weeping during the National Anthem. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni was literally sobbing during the National Anthem! Tears were dripping down his face. It was very interesting to witness.

As the game got closer, they started calling the pre-game show the “pre-kick show,” which was totally unnecessary.

COMMERCIALS (IN THE ORDER THEY WERE SHOWN)

None of these new ads, (which we watched all of!,) seemed Super Bowl-special. They were mainly a great big disappointment. But oh well—the game was the main attraction this time.

Serena Williams’ plastic surgeried face. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

I was happy to see A-Rod in the Pizza Hut ad with Von Miller. And yes, even I’m surprised that I’m still a fan of his.

I’m not a Ben Affleck fan, (I hate smokers and I’m still team A-Rod,) but his Dunkin’ Donuts ad is great, especially JLo, whose delivery is perfect in it.

As to Serena Williams‘ Remy Martin ad, bedsides that it was hard to follow, and I had no idea what it was supposed to be about, her facial plastic surgery is just a scooch away from her looking like Madonna!

Why would Bradley Cooper look like he did for his commercial? His hair is filthy!

Alicia Silverstone is basically weird these days, (with her chewing food which she then puts into her son’s mouth—ewwwww,) but she looked great in that Rakuten ad. And she did great, too.

Bradley Cooper and his filthy, oddly-styled hair. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Some of the ads with celebs, such as Will Ferrell, were all trying way too hard.

The Jennifer Coolidge Elf cosmetics ad was ridiculous! They made the product look awful!!! Who would okay this terrible concept? They’re declaring their own make-up primer to be super-sticky!!! Who wants to put something sticky on their face?! Especially before make-up.

Kia’s “Pinky” commercial was the first really good one. And it wasn’t on until almost the end of the third quarter.

I really enjoyed the Planter’s “roast” of Mr. Peanut. Very clever idea. I had used the goober in a campaign of mine, as well, back in the day, whihc proves that great minds really do think alike. When I was running for Sophomore Class President in high school, one of the major posters my team, (i.e. my family,) made was a picture of Mr. Peanut alongside “his” statement, “I’m nuts for Karen for Sophomore Class President!” How did I come up with that idea, you may ask? Because he was just about the only thing I could draw at the time!!! And I guess it worked because…I won!

My favorite, though, was the Workday ad with real rock stars telling people to not call other people “rock stars” who are, in actuality, not. Mr. X and I have been saying that for years. (We feel the same every time Howie Mandel idiotically tells a contestant on America’s Got Talent that they’re a “superstar!”)

TROPHY PRESENTATION

Why were only four Chiefs players on the “stage” for the trophy ceremony??? They weren’t even on the field for it! But the owner’s full-of-herself trampy daughter got to be front and center!!! How rude of the event organizers to plan it that way! The stand was built waaaay too small, to not accommodate many players. This was the happiest time of their careers, and they did not get to be up there celebrating. That was patently unfair! Perhaps they were back in the locker room celebrating already, but it’s still awful for them. And for their families and fans, who would have loved to witness their loved ones’ jubilation!

The trophy presentation, with the Chiefs’ owner’s creepy daughter butting in right next to the NFL Commissioner, (in the center, holding the trophy,) while the winning coach is relegated to being all the way on the end! (He’s the one in red.) And only those few players you see on the platform! Grrr. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Fox cannot allow Terry Bradshaw to do any more interviews after his supreme, yet inadvertent, rudeness to Chiefs Head Coach Andy Reid!!! First of all, he told the old and very hefty man, “Waddle over here.” And then he said to him, the man who had just won the Super Bowl,  “I know that you’re getting up in years now like me. I just know that there’s gotta be a time that with all these Super Bowls, you’ve got to say to yourself, ‘Time to ride off to the sunset.’ That’s not going to happen, is it?”  How rude!!! Like with Michael Vick, they have no one who could fill that gig? So, shame on Fox for that peccadillo, as well.

AND LASTLY…

Here’s the answer to that Super Bowl Trivia question, which was: who was the very first halftime celebrity musical performer? Ready? You’re not going to believe it, but it was none other than…Carol Channing!!! Give yourself a platinum star if you got it right!

It happened at Super Bowl IV (the first one with a celebrity performer—it had been marching bands for the previous three years,) in 1970, at Tulane Stadium in New Orleans. And she did it again two years later! It wasn’t until the ’90s that the celebs started rolling in year after year!

Now go amaze your friends with this (what I assume is) new knowledge.

Carol Channing performing at halftime of Super Bowl IV.

Two local Los Angeles high school football teams played each other in a crazy game on Friday, October 29, with the second worst and lop-sided score in the history of high school athletics. Or of any sports, actually.

Inglewood High beat Morningside High with the final score being 106-0! Wow. Just wow. [Note: In case you’re curious as to what exactly the highest high school score of all time is, that would be the 256-0 rung-up by Kansas’ Haven High School over Sylvia High School…in 1927! Double wow.]

The very gracious “losers” from the Morningside team, Dayvon Scruggs and company. Photo by Karen Salkin, off the TV, (as is the one at the top of this article.)

And then the controversy began. Most people, (Mr. X and me included) feel that the Inglewood team was classless to continue scoring, which I think we can all agree was totally unnecessary after let’s say seven touchdowns with no reciprocal scoring from Morningside. On top of that, the victors made the most unsportsmanlike decision to go for the absolute most unnecessary two-point conversion in football history when they were already at 104-0. Enough already.

I don’t know if high school football has a “mercy rule,” but if they do, someone on the field should have invoked it. I totally blame the Inglewood grown-ups for this complete absence of respect. Coaches should teach their players how to be good sports, and even better people, along with imparting how to play the game itself.

Many others are putting the onus on young Inglewood quarterback Justyn Martin for throwing thirteen touchdown passes, instead of just laying off after his team was up about 49-0. Martin had recently committed to play at UCLA, my old stomping grounds, (both in going there and then being friendly with all the sports teams years later,) and I’m just praying they teach him better at that institution! And how stupid and selfish of the Inglewood coaches to keep him in this game when totally unnecessary; it’s rude to UCLA and Justyn himself to have risked an injury when he was definitely not needed anymore!

Photo by Karen Salkin, off the TV.

The whole debacle showed an incredible amount of bad sportsmanship on the part of the Inglewood football powers-that-be. The principal of Inglewood did issue a sincere and very embarrassed apology on the Monday following the game. But the coach, Mil’Von James, should be fired! He should not be allowed to do anything with young people after that total lack of judgement. Or kindness. Or good sense. Or…anything that young people should ever emulate!

To their credit, the California Interscholastic Federation Southern Section condemned Inglewood’s in-game conduct in a statement, saying, “We expect coaches, players, officials, administrators and students to adhere to the Six Pillars of Character–Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring and Citizenship. A score of 106-0 does not represent these ideals. The CIF-SS condemns, in the strongest terms, results such as these. It is our expectation that the Inglewood administration will work towards putting in place an action plan so that an event such as this does not repeat itself.”

And the Inglewood Unified School District also released a statement, that went, “We at the Inglewood Unified School District are saddened beyond words by the events that transpired at the football game Friday between Inglewood and Morningside high schools. We will conduct a full investigation.”

A lesson the OTHER high school could use right now! Photo by Karen Salkin, off the TV.

Most importantly, in the final analysis, as Mr. X pointed-out to me when we watched some members of the Morningside team speak impromptuly to a TV crew a few days later, the losing team came out the winners in all of this. That’s because, as the Inglewood team was classless enough to continue to score, the “losers” showed their class with their words. Dayvon Scruggs, the teen with the most to say, explained simply, “The media is making it more terrible than it has to be. A game is a game. We lost. There’s nothing there.” He added, “[The Inglewood coach] used their star quarterback, so it was to be expected. We came in the game knowing that we were going to lose, but at the same time we still fought to the very end and didn’t quit and that’s what really matters.” And that makes them the winners in our book.

In honor of the NFL Super Bowl players, I just took the past two weeks off, as well. But unlike them, I didn’t practice. So please forgive me if my writing skills in this first article I’ve written in that fortnight are a tad rusty.

This was towards the end of the already-won game, but look how serious Tom Brady still is! Photo by Karen Salkin, as is the big one at the top of this page.

Now to the all-day Super Bowl coverage. (Oh yeah, the Tom Brady-led Tampa Bay Buccaneers beat the Kansas City Chiefs. Really badly. But all that will be discussed as we go along.)

First of all, I have to say that even though I’m a huge sports fan, I feel that sports still being played during the pandemic sends the wrong message to the masses. So while I watch the games, meets, matches, part of me is cringing the entire time. The world is experiencing far from normal times now, and when we see sports still being played, we tend to feel that we can go out and do normal activities, as well, which is the opposite of how we all need to be living our lives these days.

But I couldn’t help myself, and of course had to watch the Super Bowl. But this year, I didn’t start watching until noon, as opposed to the three-hours earlier when I usually begin.

The turf on Patrick Mahomes’ helmet, (from being sacked,) not to mention the intense look on his face, tells you just how down and dirty he was willing to get through the entire game. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Even though I believe that there should be no spectators at sporting events until it’s all 100% safe again, I was thrilled for the front-line workers who had the fun of attending the big game.

But no fooling, the highlight of my day was the half-price pizzas from an upscale Beverly Hills eatery that we had delivered to our house right before the game began.

On Friday, when I heard the horrible news about Andy Reid‘s son’s car accident, (more on that in a minute,) plus knowing that Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes‘ fiancee was about to give birth, I told Mr. X that the Bucs would win. I was hoping I was wrong, but apparently, I was correct. At least we saw history.

So let’s get to my many thoughts on all the proceedings. I couldn’t share every single one of them, of course, but here are the highlights:

PRE-GAME COVERAGE

Karen Salkin with Warren Moon, the tenth black quarterback in NFL history. Photo by Alice Farinas.

I started crying early on because CBS did a feature on Laurent Duvernay-Tardif, perhaps the most wonderful NFL player ever. As I told you last year, he’s the Kansas City Chief who’s also a doctor in Canada. He chose to give-up playing football this year to help out in a hospital in Montreal. He’s what every human should aspire to be.

I appreciated the feature on the history of black quarterbacks, especially learning about Marlon Briscoe, the first black starting quarterback in NFL history. This is the year and month (Black History Month) to fill in our history like that.

I remember liking the Bucs’ Jason Pierre-Paul when he was a Super-Bowl-winning New York Giant.  But I had forgotten that he lost some fingers a few years ago in a fireworks accident, so his pre-game interview was very interesting, especially because he admitted that he also did something else stupid, not wearing a seatbelt, which caused him to break his neck in a car accident two years ago. I’m glad that he came through all that to be able to play, and win again!

What were Jim Rome’s pants doing???

Jim Rome and his very ill-fitting pants! Photo by Karen Salkin.

I’m so glad that I made the time to watch the feature on Whitney Houston’s old Super Bowl National Anthem, especially because I learned that she agreed with me about what was the best rendition ever—Marvin Gaye at an NBA All-Star Game.

I got a kick out of being made aware of the Bucs’ Scottie Miller before the game.  Looking at him, I couldn’t help but think, “How is this guy an NFL player???”

I wish they hadn’t done that final pre-game feature, about the players’ real-life heroes, (with Dr. Duvernay-Tardif being one again,) when I was in the middle of eating my game day pizza. It’s hard to chew and cry at the same time!

THE GAME

Dr. Laurent Duvernay-Tardif, featuring both his occupations–graduating from med school while holding his beloved Chiefs football! Photo by Karen Salkin.

This was the worst Super Bowl I’ve ever seen! Not just because my team lost, (and really badly at that,) but just because it was far from a competitive game.

I hated the whole thing, but I was especially disgusted with the officiating in the first half; it was painful to me. I wanted to really throw-up by the end of it. How many flags did the Chiefs get in it? I’ve never seen anything like it. Either the team lost their collective composure, or the refs were against them. Or, most likely, they lost their composure because the refs were against them!

I, of course, wasn’t the only one who felt that way. At halftime, CBS analyst Boomer Esiason said, “I kind of feel that the referees are way too involved here,” and they were “throwing too many flags that are leading to points for Tampa Bay.” Fellow panelist Nate Burleson added, “When it comes to these flags, it is heavily imbalanced.” And, “You have to let these guys play a little bit.” And admonished the officials to “stop throwing the laundry out on the field.” The penalties in the first half were eight for the Chiefs to just one for the Bucs! How unfair was that?!

Bruce Arians’ nonagenarian mother, cheering on her son’s team. Photo by Karen Salkin.

On a happier note, this was the oldest coaching match-up ever in a Super Bowl. So I have to be happy for for winning coach, Bruce Arians, and especially because his ninety-five-year-old mother was in attendance, in a wheelchair, to boot! Let a senior have some happiness.

And let’s spare a thought here for the Reid family, (and the other injured family, as well.) In case you don’t know the story, this is what happened: Just three days before the game, Britt Reid, the son of the Chiefs’ head coach, Andy Reid, (Britt is also the team’s outside linebackers coach,) drank and drove and got into a bad car accident that not only landed himself in the hospital, but left a five-year-old girl in critical condition. Andy Reid said his heart is bleeding for the family of the girl, as all of ours are. I’m sure he was still trying to win the game, but no matter how long you’ve been in sports, we all know that his attention was very divided on the field. How could it not be?

Even though I really wanted the Chiefs to win, I do have to say that Tom Brady’s accomplishments are astonishing. You can read all about them elsewhere, so let’s get to the shallow sections of the day.

Look at Tom Brady’s yellow bottom teeth! Photo by Karen Salkin.

But first I must ask, why would Tom Brady have yellow bottom teeth? He has enough money to fix that situation!

And thank goodness, in the post-game podium festivities, he finally handed the Championship trophy to his teammates after his spoiled kids had pawed-over it!

And lastly in this section, I hate that the MVP voting begins at the start of the fourth quarter. In this case, it really didn’t matter much, but voters really need to see the entire game to make an informed decision!  It’s insane.

THE MUSIC

Let’s go in order.

I saw a second of Miley Cyrus’ “tailgate” concert, but I couldn’t take more than that, even though she was joined by Billy Idol, who once bought me dinner. (You’re going to have for my book for that crazy story.)

Mr. X said of the six minute-long, self-indulgent, super-slow pre-game on-field performances, “That wasn’t fair to do to the players.” He said that H.E.R., whom we usually like, made America The Beautiful about her. (But I guess that’s fitting since that’s her moniker!)

I had never heard of National Anthem singer Jazmine Sullivan, but that didn’t mean that others also had not. So I researched her later and discovered that she has several albums. But still, the Super Bowl should have had someone much more famous do that iconic song. She sang it with country singer Eric Church, but it was like they were singing two different songs.

The best part of all the pre-game music was Warren Snipe, a deaf rapper and actor, who performed both songs along with the singers, but in ASL. I could have watched him all day! He performs with such beauty and enthusiasm.

Warren Snipe.

I watched the halftime show by the Weeknd, only because it’s the thing to do. I’m not a fan, nor a non-fan; even though I like some of his songs, I just wasn’t the least bit interested. And I sort-of wanted the whole day to just be over already—I wasn’t really having any fun. (Outside of the aforementioned pizza, of course.)

But I felt his performance was like a mediocre one we’d see on any music awards show, and a lesser one, at that, like the Billboard Awards. Or MTV ones. Just the Weeknd alone, singing his songs that most viewers don’t know, was such a non-special presentation. Mr. X, who’s a fan, even fell asleep during it! I hate to say it, but the Weeknd just may have Little Man Syndrome. Why else would he have spent his own seven mill to produce this one segment???

His performance was okay, and would have been fun at a little club. But these days, at the prestigious Super Bowl Halftime Show, we need dancing, surprises, costume changes, and collaborations. Unless you’re Bruce Springsteen, of course.

It was actually sort-of obnoxious of him to not have “guests” join him, as just about every halftime artist does. It makes it fun.  Apparently, the Weeknd thought that having a bunch of dancers in his own inane facial surgery mask is entertaining.  But you can see that every day in Beverly Hills! At least the masks made them covid-safe.

The Weeknd and his bandaged posse.

And I was happy that every dancer in Tampa Bay was employed for the day. And that they were actually being socially-distanced. So there was that.

THE ADS

Now to the part that most casual viewers care about the most—the commercials. The many, many, many commercials. The Super Bowl is the only time all year that Mr. X and I watch them all, just to be in the know. Here are my thoughts on some, in order that they were shown, (after I give you the two groups, below.)

Stupid ones: Bud Light (where the cans spills so old characters can clean it all up,) Chipotle (which claims a burrito can change the world,) Mountain Dew with John Cena, and Dr. Squatch soap.

Clever: Miracle-Gro which points-out that we’re all spending more times in our gardens, and the Bud Light one with a plethora of lemons highlighting what a bad year 2020 was.

The M&Ms “apology” one is cute. I especially liked the “Karen” part; one woman apologizes to another for calling her “Karen,” and the second one says, “My name is Karen,” so the first woman apologizes for that! You know that I feel that pain!

The Doritos one with a super-skinny Matthew McConaughey actually made Mr. X laugh out loud, several times! I guess Doritos was trying to make-up for their previous evil ads. In 2016, they did a disgusting one with a baby popping-out prematurely. And before that, in 2012, they did a couple of offensive ones. A dog killing a cat and then bribing his owner with the chips to keep it a secret was dreadful enough, but one with a baby being shot out of a slingshot was the most offensive and irresponsible commercial I had ever seen on network television. They had to a long way to redeem themselves, and Matthew’s is a giant step in that direction.

Part of the Matthew McConaughey ad.

The GM EV one with Will Ferrell is trying way too hard! What a waste of Keenan Thompson.

Any amputation, even on puppets, is sooo far from amusing, so I must slam the upcoming Paramount+ new streaming channel for that one.

The Nick Jonas diabetes one was very important.

State Farm, with Patrick Mahomes, Aaron Rodgers, Drake, and Paul Rudd is perfect—short, sweet, and amusing.

Toyota’s story of the adoption of Special Olympian Jessica Long really got to me. That one should be a whole movie!

Part of the Jessica Long ad. (That’s her arm swimming in front of her adoption story tableau.)

I really got a kick out of the E-Trade one with the little kid trying to get in shape. He’s adorbs and perfect for it.  He doesn’t overdo it at all, which I have a feeling most kid actors would have.

The Shaggy-Cheetos commercial was kind of cute, especially his last line.

It was a good surprise for many that Springsteen did an ad. I really had no inkling of him doing one when I wrote the note about him in the music section above. It really got to me at the end when “The ReUnited States of America” came up on the screen at the end, which Bruce was the perfect spokesperson for. But then I found it a tad weird that it was a Jeep spot!

And that’s it for Super Bowl LV. I’d just as soon forget the whole thing. Except for the delish pizza, of course!

I’m so happy that the Kansas City Chiefs won the Super Bowl!  What a incredible end to the 100th NFL season. (Especially since the Chiefs founder and original owner, Lamar Hunt, is the one who coined the term “Super Bowl!”)

Photo by Karen Salkin, as is the one at the top of this page.

I rooted for both teams throughout the play-offs, so this one was a tiny tad hard for me. But I did root for the Chiefs here for several reasons, mainly because of how sadly they had lost to the Patriots at the last minute in the penultimate playoff game last year, which meant that this year marked their first trip to the Super Bowl. (A previous Chiefs team had made it there fifty years ago, but that was not this group, obviously, and not this coach, Andy Reid, for whom I, along with most football fans, was really rooting.)

Photo by Karen Salkin.

I like certain players on both teams, (and dislike three on the San Fransisco 49ers—one for being a Trump-er and two for being bullies, in general,) but I really, really wanted the Chiefs to win for the above-mentioned getting-up-there-in-age coach, Andy Reid.

So, even though it was a long road to get there, (I watched every second of Fox’s all-day coverage, with an hour of ESPN in the early morning thrown in for good measure,) with the Chiefs exciting win in the last seven minutes of the game(!,) I ended the day on a high note.

And now I can finally share my thoughts on all the Super Bowl LIV coverage with you! (In sections, of course.)

PRE-GAME COVERAGE

Charissa Thompson’s dreadful outfit! Her legs even look two different sizes! Photo by Karen Salkin.

I’m all for equality of the sexes in all walks of life, but I hate that sports now feel that they have to include women, even when it’s a male sport, so they hire females as anchors of sports commentary shows. It’s just ridiculous.

Speaking of ridiculous, the Fox hostess, Charissa Thompson, looked like an idiot. What a creepy outfit she was wearing. It looked like it was two sizes too big for her, with an even worse fashion faux pas–her pants legs were dragging on the ground! How did she, nor anyone behind the scenes, not know enough to remedy that situation?! As I said—ridiculous.

And she could not pronounce “poet laureate.” Oysh.

And you know I love a nude lip like no other, but here’s a newsflash for all these women–it does not look good on TV!!! (No one needs to go bright, either, like Jenna Dewan usually does. Just find the correct in-between. As a veteran of hundreds of hours on TV myself, I promise—it’s not that hard to do.)

Dr. Laurent Duvernay-Tardif. Photo by Karen Salkin.

There were only two major positives for me in all of the six and a half hours of pre-game coverage. First is that they did a short feature on Chiefs player, Dr. Laurent Duvernay-Tardif, perhaps the most impressive person to ever play pro football! Besides that he allowed the third fewest sacks this season, he’s…a full doctor! He not only is an MD, but he also has a Masters in surgery!!! OMG! (And, almost equally impressive, to me, at least, is that in the off-season two years ago, he was a commentator on the Winter Olympics for his native Canada!!! What a man.)

Col. Charles McGee. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The other positive was actually the first thing that choked me up all day, (even though it happened at the end of that very lengthy pre-game coverage.) It was when centenarian Col. Charles McGee, of the Tuskegee Airmen, brought out the coin for the coin toss. That was beautiful.

The opposite of beautiful were these three occurrences:

Just as I was being happy that I didn’t have to see nebbishy Cooper Manning, or his rotten sexual molester brother Peyton, anywhere this year, they did a real waste-of-time stupid feature…about nothing. Idiotic.

And, it was absolutely offensive that they included wife-killer, thief, and liar OJ Simpson in their “hundred greatest players of all time.” And, to me, (and to the families of the two men he helped kill,) Ray Lewis should not have been in there, either. (You already know how I feel about Peyton Manning. If you do not, just search for him, and the others, in the two “search” boxes in this e-zine.)

This is how they did those tributes, rather than announcing the players. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Actually, that whole “hundred players” segment was done poorly—not at all in the classy and emotional manner in which MLB had presented their “All-Century Team” at their All-Star game in 1999. (I cried so hard when eighty-year-old almost-immobile Ted Williams went out, in a golf cart, to throw the ceremonial first pitch, my six-year-old best bud I was watching it with felt the need to call Mr. X and report me for “turning into a sissy!”) At this NFL rendition, they didn’t even mention the names of the honorees—they just showed their names on the screen, giving not a thought to their visually-impaired “listeners.” Rude. To everyone involved.

THE GAME ITSELF

This game got very exciting in the fourth quarter. In the final seven minutes, to be exact! OMG. I still have no idea how the Chiefs won at that point! I was pretty much giving-up before they got that very last touchdown!

Superbowl MVP Patrick Mahomes. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I still can’t believe they won! But I should have been a believer after their two previous playoff games. As a matter of fact, when they went down by ten to the Niners in the fourth quarter, one of the announcers, either Joe Buck or Troy Aikman, said of the Chiefs, “They have them right where they want them!” It was a joke, but very prophetic.

Two minutes is such a long time when the team you’re rooting against has the ball, and never enough time when your team has it. Trust me on that–I was sweating-out the uber-long two of this Super Bowl!

But I’m so glad it went my way.

And, by the way, Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes is the man!!!

HALFTIME SHOW

Shakira and JLo. Those are two uber-confident women!

I’m so glad that Jennifer Lopez and Shakira are getting lauded today for their spectacular Halftime Show! It seems that in recent years, no one receives major props for their time in that hot slot. But these ladies deserve the love because they put on quite the display. Even usual naysayer Mr. X declared this to be“the greatest halftime show ever!!!”

And it probably was.  Although I’m still partial to Justin Timberlake exposing Janet Jackson’s nipple in 2004. We both jumped off the couch screaming because it was so unexpected. And I adored Bruno Mars (who was a “guest” of Coldplay) in 2014, and Justin Timberlake again in 2018. [Note: The halftime shows did not start featuring hip music until the early ’90s. Before then it was most often marching bands and occasionally the nerds of all nerds, Up With People!]

I didn’t know that Shakira was going to be half of it. The announcements always made it seem like she was going to just do a short guest spot, like the two male rappers, Bad Bunny and J Balvin, did. (By the way–they never even announced those guys’ names! Good thing I’m hip.) She was great.

Jennifer Lopez with her daughter, Emme.

They also never named the featured little girl, but I knew that she was JLo’s daughter, Emme. And that knowledge was only because A-Rod (Jen’s betrothed,) had said earlier that the only clue he could give is that the show would be “a family affair.” Emme was actually okay. (But I can’t wait until Jennifer starts making her get nose jobs, too, just like she herself has always done. I think she’s had three so far!) But I still love JLo; I think she’s the perfect show biz person. She has managed her career so perfectly. (Too bad she hasn’t done the same for other aspects of her multi-marriaged life!)

In their bending-over backwards to make it basically an all-female-performers evening, (outside of the unnamed male rappers,) from the beginning to end, (perhaps the producers of the Super Bowl were trying to make-up for something,) Yolanda Adams sang America the Beautiful and Demi Lovato did the National Anthem honors. They were both good enough, (especially Yolanda, of course,) but they both did that self-serving, Maya Rudolph-parodying style, of which Mr. X and I are definitely not fans. Still, there was nothing major for me to rag on, so good on them. (By the way—I could barely find any references to Yolanda Adams’ performance anywhere on the internet! I guess she’s too upstanding a citizen to merit attention. After the Los Angles Times’ full-length article about Demi Lovato’s song, and everything about it, down to her microphone color, this was their last line: “Her national anthem followed a reading of America the Beautiful by gospel singer Yolanda Adams.” Shame on them!)

THE COMMERCIALS

The commercials, which are mostly new ones, (for which companies pay close to a zillion dollars to have them debut on the Super Bowl,) were all basically very good this time. Shocking! [Note: Really, each thirty second spot costs close to six million dollars! So, yes, my zillion estimate is close.) I’m discussing them in the order that they aired:

The very first one, the long “Here’s to the next hundred” ad for the NFL itself, actually choked me up when the little kids ran into the stadium, followed by their “Here’s to the next hundred” sign appearing.

Photo by Karen Salkin.

The one with Jason Momoa stripping-down his body and head to reveal he’s really a homely guy made us laugh. A lot. Good for him.

Was that commercial for Hulu an announcement from Tom Brady that he’s staying put in New England??? The announcers never discussed it when they came back to the game.

The NY Life one with all the Greek words for “love” was…lovely.

The Hyundai Sonata one, with celebs saying, “Pahk the cah,” (for “park the car,”) was a good one. I love when Rachel Dratch works!

Yet another good one was for Cheetos popcorn with MC Hammer. I love when he works, too!

But then there were several dumb ones in a row: one about an avocados shopping network with Molly Ringwald made me swear to never buy avocados again! And then the long drawn-out one about a cup that’s stolen from JLo—oysh. And the one with John Legend and his uber-annoying wife earned a double oysh from me!

But I’m glad that Mr. Peanut was re-born.  (Was that a reaction to Kobe Bryant’s tragic helicopter crash? Planters said then that they were pulling their ads where Mr. Peanut died, so is that what made them resurrect him? I seriously want to know.) When I ran for Sophomore President in High School, (and won, I might add!,) my posters featured Mr. Peanut (because he was the only one I could draw,) saying “I’m nuts for Karen for Sophomore President!” Not exactly my most clever slogan ever, but…it worked!

I adored the Doritos Cool Ranch one with Lil Naz X and Sam Elliott!

I’ve seen the movie Groundhog Day tons of times, but I still didn’t really get the Jeep commercial about it. Even with Bill Murray and two other cast members from the film. (And I had to just look-up what product it was even advertising, so that’s not good for them, even though the ad is being declared a “winner” today.)

FINAL THOUGHTS

All-in-all, this was a good Super Bowl day. (Except for the Niners and their fans.) I love that Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes became the youngest Super Bowl MVP in history, (after last year becoming the youngest player in history to win the overall MVP of the season!)

But how stupid was this?: The MVP voting, (which is open to the public,) began at…the beginning of the fourth quarter!!! That means that so much game was left to be played! Nobody should be voting on three quarters of a game. That was shameful. Thank goodness it worked-out correctly in the end. [Note: Many people feel that Damien Williams, who actually scored half of the Chiefs touchdowns, including the go-ahead one, should have won, and they may have a case. A slight one. I definitely respect that opinion. But I still think it’s rightly Mahomes.]

Victorious player and coach, Patrick Mahomes and Andy Reid. Photo by Karen Salkin.

My last image, before I had to finally close-out watching it all, was of new Super Bowl-winning coach, Andy Reid, hugging everyone while not letting go of his wife’s hand! I really wanted him to give it up, to make all those embraces extra juicy, but I so respect how much he loves his wife and wanted her to be a part of his victory.

I just hope that next year’s Super Bowl can rival this one! (And that my team, the New York Giants, will be in it then. And win!)

I should not be allowed to watch sports anymore; it’s just too hard on my psyche.  And my nerves.  And my stomach.  So, my health in general.  Even though I didn’t have a dog in the race, per se, I got sick over the action (or non-action, in this case!,) in this year’s Superbowl.

Right up front, I have to say that I still haven’t gotten over how screwed the Saints were to not make the Super Bowl over the Rams in the first place.  The Saints coach said that the team will never get over that worst non-call I’ve ever seen, and I’m right there with them—I detest unfairness.

But that being said, (meaning the Rams shouldn’t even have made it to the Super Bowl this year in the first place,) I really loathe the Patriots, so I still had to root for the Rams.  (And they are my hometown team, after all, since I’ve lived here since I was a teen-ager. And Brooklyn doesn’t have a team.)

So this whole terrible game was painful to watch, on every level.

I want to put it out of my mind as soon as possible, so here are my thoughts on the entire day of coverage, in their own sections:

PRE-GAME

That new stadium in Atlanta is really gorgeous! [Image at the top of this page.]

The stupid Superbowl LIII logo, with the trophy right after the “L,” makes it look like Superbowl 54, not 53. (Did they learn nothing from the same design last year, where that added trophy image made it look like “53” rather than “52???”)

The features and interviews on the many-hours-long pre-game coverage were pretty interesting.  But I could have done without seeing Orange Hitler on there.  That brought me down quite a bit.

The most interesting note of the whole day for me is that the Patriots’ coach’s age is double that of the Rams coach.

GAME

This was perhaps the worst Superbowl in history. (I know the first two were supposed to be pretty bad, as well, but they were before my time.)

It was for sure the most boring.  When the highlight of it is the longest punt in Super Bowl history, (by Johnny Hekker of the Rams,) you know there hasn’t been much action all along.

And it has the dubious record of being the lowest-scoring one. (This, after every single pre-game commentator predicted a high-scoring game! How are they the experts???)

It was also the first Superbowl ever with no touchdowns through three quarters!!!  Wow.

Mr. X commentated that both teams were playing like they didn’t want to go to the White House. (But I’m sure that insane Trump-lovers, Tom Brady and coach Bill Belichick, won’t mind! Maybe they’ll even get served real food for their support!)

This is interesting: The late non-call, which would have most likely resulted in a touchdown for the Rams, was, as Mr. X pointed-out, justice. (Refer back to my second paragraph above, if you don’t know of what I speak.)

My only solace in the Patriots winning once again is that, since I love twins, (and wish I had one myself, although I might be jealous of her,) I am happy for the McCourty twins, (the first twins in the Superbowl ever,) especially Jason, the one whose first year on the team this is.

Gladys Knight, all in white.

OPENING MUSIC

That was a strange choice to book an act that few people have heard of, Chloe and Halle, to sing America the Beautiful. They were okay, but far from special.

Just when I was asking why they hadn’t just gotten Gladys Knight, (because they obviously wanted someone from Atlanta to fill these spots,) they did!  She sang the much more prestigious National Anthem.  Now, that was special!  That’s sangin’!!!  And she’s lost so much weight that she could wear white! So, you go, girl!

HALFTIME SHOW

OMG—was that a snoozefest!  It was the worst halftime show I’ve ever seen!

Mr. X said, “The only thing worse than the game was the halftime show.” But I think it was a tie.

Adam Levine was trying to show that his body is not as skinny as his head.

Adam Levine.

But that shirt, bracelets, necklace (or chains,) and moves were—how shall I put it?—so much less than masculine.

Mr. X said the halftime show reflected the boring score—3-0.

And where was Maroon 5’s supposed big “message” that they said was going to appease the people who wanted all big music acts to turn-down doing the show because of the Colin Kaepernick kerfuffle??? Surely “ONE LOVE” in lanterns, or some such objects, was not it. Or was it?

COMMERCIALS

For once, I didn’t really hate any of these super-expensive ads, but there were few I was really taken with, either.

Here are the six best:

My favorite by far, and the only one I choked-up over, was the Microsoft Xbox Adaptive Controller. It’s not the presentation that got to me—it’s the actual product! It’s so long overdue.

But the honest-to-goodness best one was the “hundred years of the NFL,” with all the players fighting over the football. I loved seeing all those guys, except for one. It always chaps my hide to see Peyton Manning included anywhere, except on lists of sexual predators. (If you don’t know that story, read this: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/footballkarens-rant-peyton-manning-scandal.)

I so admired the Mercedes A-Class ad that I may actually get one now!!!

I got a kick out of the Hyundai ad where Jason Bateman was the elevator operator. I know that humorless vegans are up in arms over it, but it’s a riot.

Cumulatively, the T-Mobile “texting” ads were good, especially the final one, about the father thinking text and Google are the same thing!

The first Bud Light ad, letting us know that it’s the only beer made without corn syrup, was really good.  They definitely made their point.

And now, the four worst:

Conversely to my last thought, the Bud Light jousting ad totally sucked, because it turned-out to somehow be a promo for Game of Thrones, which made it uber-confusing.

The one for Audi’s e-tron electric car was really stupid.  While he’s choking, a guy sees his dead grandfather, which is just creepy. That one ad made me not want to get an Audi now, which I was really leaning towards!

The one for avocados, with humans as dog show contestants, was just stupid. And creepy!

The Kia Telluride ad was so depressing.  It looked like a town full of suicidal drug addicts, which is never an upper.

AFTERMATH

Finding Tracy Wolfson in this pic is like doing Where’s Waldo?! She’s the tiny woman being squished behind Tom Brady, who knew she was there, but did nothing to help her! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Poor tiny reporter Tracy Wolfson was trying desperately to interview Tom Brady, as is her job, but the madding crowd just swallowed her up!  Frightening.  Tom, the narcissist, knew she was there, and should have looked out for her.  I didn’t think I could like him less than I already did, but now I do.

AUXILIARY PROGRAMMING

As always, the network that broadcasts the Superbowl tries to take advantage of what they assume will be a gigantic viewing audience. But in this case, it was the lowest Superbowl ratings in a decade, which is good, because the shows that followed it were just as dreadful as the game itself.

First up was The World’s Best, which is a shameful direct rip-off of America’s [or other countries] Got Talent. But it’s so far below that other show in quality that it’s almost a super-long SNL skit! And, as I tweeted (@MajorCelebrity,) it’s way too noisy and chaotic, the judging is whack, and I can’t listen to Drew Barrymore’s lisp for an hour! (Or ever.)

I’ve actually never watched Steven Colbert’s talk show on purpose, (I have nothing against him; there’s just not enough time in life,) but I do hear it occasionally when Mr. X has it on. And I can say that this was perhaps his worst outing ever. I heard the entire hour, and I didn’t even get one laugh out of the deal. Who thought that old man Patrick Stewart, a funny-looking hockey mascot, and Steve Carrell were attractive post-the-biggest-sporting-event-of-the-year guests??? Those bookings went along with the rest of the entire lackluster day and night on CBS.

And that wraps it up for this year’s not-so-Super-Bowl. Let’s hope that the NFL makes a lot of changes to their officiating next year, and we get a better contest. I can only imagine how fun a Saints-Chiefs competition would have been!!! But then I would have been rooting for them both!

There are just a few main things I want to say about that amazing Super Bowl, and then I’ll get more into my full review of all of the proceedings.

But first of all, I can’t believe what I just saw! That was the absolute most exciting Super Bowl I’ve ever seen! And I didn’t even have a real dog in the race, although I was totally rooting for the Eagles all the way! So, yay!

Secondly, how is anyone ragging on Justin Timberlake’s Halftime Show??? I don’t get that at all—that was the best one I’ve ever seen!

The only one disappointment of the entire day, (and trust me—I watched all the coverage from sun-up to just about the next dawn,) was the weakest crop of Super Bowl commercials ever foisted upon us.

So, let’s examine it all.

THE GAME

I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. I don’t think anyone could figure-out who was going to win until the game clock hit double zeros. (And even then I wasn’t sure for a few seconds there.)

That was unbelievable that the Philadelphia Eagles, who were true underdogs the entire post-season, could beat perennial winners New England Patriots. This was one of the truest David vs. Goliath sports competitions ever!

Photo by Karen Salkin.

For those of you who don’t follow football, the quick story is that the Eagles quarterback, Carson Wentz, got injured with just three games to go on the season. So Nick Foles, the back-up quarterback, had to take over. And he didn’t exactly inspire confidence. I saw a video of one of his teammates crying on the way back from the game where Wentz got injured, saying something about Foles not being up to the job.

So Nick Foles is the first back-up quarterback to win the big one since Tom Brady in Super Bowl 36! (This is #52, in case you can’t read Roman numerals.)

Ah, but what’s to become of him next year??? More on that topic in a bit.

Even though the Eagles were the #1 seed in their conference, they were the underdogs all through the play-offs, and even moreso in the Super-Bowl!

That was a really exciting first half.  And a strange one, featuring lots of odd plays.

JLo and ARod, looking pretty spiffy. (I wrote about them further down, but had no where else for this pic. And seeing them in any spot is always fun, right?) Photo by Karen Salkin.

When the Eagles finally lost the lead in the second half, I think we all flashed back to what happened last year, when the Atlanta Falcons were beating the Patriots by what we all thought was an insurmountable lead.

So that the Eagles came back to win it was truly the shock of all sports shocks.

If the Patriots were not such poor losers, (more on that in a very quick second,) I would actually feel a tad bad for them.

But all I have to say is: Major Congratulations to the Eagles and all their long-suffering fans!!!

AFTER THE GAME

So, speaking of sore losers, Tom Brady did not seek out Nick Foles after the game to shake his hand!!! I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before at the end of a Super Bowl. (And no, Tom—admitting that you’re a “bad loser” does not absolve you! Man up, for goodness sake!!!)

The Eagles on-the-platform post-game celebration. But where was the actual team???

Actually, in their press conferences, and comments elsewhere, as well, all the Patriots seemed to be bad sports. What a shame.

I’m kind-of disgusted with the powers-that-be that planned the trophy presentation, as well. They didn’t let the whole team up on the stand!!! Outside of just three players, the rest of the team were made to stand down on the field behind the makeshift stage!!! But some of the bigwigs’ kids and wives were allowed up there! How is that fair??? It’s actually disgusting. Viewers wanted to see the entire team celebrate together! It’s part of why we love to watch sports—to see the group happiness afterwards. That was just creepy of them.

Victorious Eagles Super Bowl quarterback Nick Foles.

I’m sooooo glad that Nick Foles was voted the MVP; it would not have been fair if he had not.

But what’s to become of him next year??? Wentz plans to be back on the field for the very first game of the 2018 season, but his knee injury was so severe that I sort-of doubt if that’s possible. Either way, does Nick just accept taking a backseat after leading this team to its first Championship since 1960?! Or does he ask to be traded to a team that will want him as their main dude, (if there is one?) It’s a major conundrum for everyone concerned.

Speaking of team shake-ups, what will happen with the Patriots next season, as well? Both their offensive and defensive coordinators are leaving for head coaching jobs.  Tom Brady will be forty-one by then! And second place team star Rob Gronkowski says he may retire. On top of that, coach Bill Belichick screwed-over defensive major player Malcolm Butler by sitting him out of this big game at the last minute, with no reason given…to anybody. (That one was a major head-scratcher.) So, is this the beginning of the end for the New England Patriots? (And will we ever find-out why that was done to one-time team hero Butler?)

Speaking of head-scratchers, in the week leading up to the Super Bowl, I kept reading that the entire Eagles team had the flu! Everywhere I looked I saw that concerning story. And then never was it mentioned even once during the over twelve hours of coverage I watched. So, did NBC and ESPN not know about it? Did they know and just decide that it was a non-story? Or was it not true to begin with? Even though it’s a non-issue now, I really do want to know the whole story!

Last words on the “bad sport” topic: After the loss, Tom Brady’s wife Giselle was shown saying, “My husband cannot f***ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time.”  Talk about throwing shade at her husband’s teammates!  What a bad sport! [Note: Even though ESPN showed this as something happening right then, while they were on the air, my research shows that this is perhaps an old clip from after his last Super Bowl loss. But it’s disgusting, either way. On the plus side, though, for Giselle, she looks exactly the same now, if this is, indeed, an old clip.]

THE HALFTIME SHOW

Justin Timberlake and dancers.

The first half of the game was so good that I totally forgot that Justin Timberlake was coming up!!! But up he got, so let’s get to that now.

Justin always puts on such an incredible music and dance show that, unlike the previous halftime shows, he didn’t need a gimmicky guest artist to help him out.  [Note: Just as I was writing that, the duet with a hologram of Prince came on. So, yeah, maybe one gimmick!]

I became a blubbering mess during the Prince section.

Hologram of Prince, with Justin at the piano. (Note that the entire stadium is purple for the occasion!)

Speaking of which, I know that some idiots think it was disrespectful of Justin to do that, but I really do believe that he did it as a tribute, not just to Prince and his many fans, but to the city of Minneapolis because that’s where the Purple One lived and worked. I thought it was a lovely idea.

I also loved that there were so many surfaces with so many dancers and musicians. It was all fun, exciting, and well-done. I loved the music, the dancing, and being reminded of just how multi-talented Justin is.

So, outside of where he exposed Janet Jackson’s nipple all those years ago, (which Mr. X and I thought was fantastic, by the way,) this was my favorite halftime show ever!

THE COMMERCIALS

About an hour into the game, and very many commercials, just as I was making a note of how dull the ads were so far, I went on Twitter to complain about just that, and saw a tweet from one of my favorite comedians, Rocky LaPorte, saying: “I wonder what time they’re going to start airing the good commercials.” I hear ya, bro!

Unlike the game and halftime show, this was the most boring, unsatisfying crop of Super Bowl commercials ever! So, here’s just a quick rundown on some of my thoughts on the best and worst, in order they were shown:

The Mass Mutual one about all different people was sort-of touching.

The Rams truck ad with the Vikings looked like they thought the Minnesota Vikings were a shoo-in to make the Super Bowl! But they spent all that money, so they had to air it. Stupid.

The creepy girl (and her nerdy wardrobe) from the flavored Diet Coke spot. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I’m scratching my head over why that ad for flavored Diet Cokes would feature that way-too-skinny girl and her awful wardrobe. (And her visage was pretty bad, to boot!)

The many Tide spots were fun, though.

Okay, I know that the family of Martin Luther King, Jr. approved using his speech for that Rams truck commercial, but I found it offensive to use something like that for selling cars. Shame on everyone involved with that idea.

The first really fun one was the fake Crocodile Dundee one, for Aussie tourism. It almost made me want to go there, to support them for a good job!

I have to admit that the Toyota “we are one team” ad got me a tad choked-up.

Even though I’m not really a Lindsay Vonn fan, I am an admirer of hers, so I loved that they used This Girl is on Fire to show her many accomplishments in one of the zillion promos for this week’s Olympics!

Perhaps the best one was the Dirty Dancing spoof featuring the Giants’ Eli Manning and Odell Beckham, Jr. But, as good as it was, I have no idea what it was for, so I guess it defeated its own purpose!!!

NEITHER HERE NOR THERE

Robert Kraft’s teeth and nose hair, neither of which he knows to fix! I hope you weren’t eating when you saw this! Photo by Karen Salkin.

How disgusting are Patriots’ owner Robert Kraft’s teeth? And nose hair??? That guy has more money than most of us can imagine, so why doesn’t he fix those vomititious teeth already??? And he should buy a nose-hair-remover while he’s at it!

I loved host Al Michael’s expression “semantics samba” about Bill Belichick’s not giving us the real 411 on the Malcolm Butler sitch. I never heard that one before.

It was so nice that Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez dressed-up for the occasion. Shamefully, no one else did.

Danny Amendola and his neck. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I just hope that the excitement of his team’s nail-biter victory didn’t kill the eagles ninety-nine-year-old fan that the organization brought to the game!

How gigantic is Patriot Danny Amendola’s neck!!! He’s kind-of a short, thin guy, but has a Bluto-esque neck! As the title of this section says, this thought is neither here nor there, so no judgement on it; it’s just an observation.)

TWO SHAMEFUL SITUATIONS

This is the perfect time to remind you all about the evil that is former NFL star, Peyton Manning. I have no idea why he’s been getting off scot-free during this slew of revelations about sexual misconduct by famous males! I guess he’s one of those “teflon” creeps, like Orange Hitler seems to be. But I want to keep the story alive, so I really hope that all of you will read what I wrote here last year, and help the story get out: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/footballkarens-rant-peyton-manning-scandal. I’m ashamed of myself for rooting for him in the 2014 Super Bowl, even though it was before I knew of his sexual misconduct, and even worse his follow-up torture of the victim.

Not only did my stomach turn when I saw Peyton Manning in a commercial on the broadcast, but I was also sickened when I saw Ray Lewis on the field, as one of the newest inductees into the Football Hall of Fame. How was that allowed to happen?!

In case you’re not familiar with his criminal history, here’s a quick primer on the subject: In 2000, he was put on trial for his involvement in a double-murder. He got the charges dropped by testifying against his two pals who were apparently the trigger men. But Ray was definitely there and definitely lied to police and tried to cover it up. He got off, but the NFL knows all this, and obviously turned a blind eye when they put him on the HOF ballot. I’m sure there are way more deserving former players. So this is yet another mystery in the ways of the NFL.

But, to finish this review on a high note, let me go back to congratulating the Philadelphia Eagles on their amazing Super Bowl victory!!! You guys flew the highest!

Being the sports nut that I am, I was thrilled to be invited to this “Sports Summit” put on by Sports 1 Marketing, a company that was co-founded by former NFL quarterback, (and 1978 Rose Bowl MVP,) Warren Moon, (who looks as young as he did when he was playing, by the way!)

Karen Salkin, back on the Rose Bowl field! Photo by Alice Farinas.

This was the organization’s inaugural event, so I really had no idea of exactly what to expect, and I assume that was also true for the rest of the guests. But nonetheless, so many people arrived early to the Rose Bowl.  I’ve never seen lines like that except for events that are offering free beauty services to the first group of attendees! So, way to go, Sports 1 Marketing!

After they checked us in, (which I thank them for making easy enough—there was none of the drama I often see at big events,) we received a tour of the entire Rose Bowl.  I’ve been to this iconic stadium so many times over the years, mainly during my close friendship with the UCLA teams back in the day, and I’ve even been on the field, but this tour was a revelation!

The Rose Bowl Command Center. Photo by Karen Salkin.

They put us in small enough groups that enabled us to see and hear everything the guide was sharing with us. We visited the Command Center, the Press Room, and the Keith Jackson Broadcast Center. And then came the best part for me, especially on a day that featured absolutely beautiful weather–we got to hang-out on the field for awhile! That was actually the second time this month that I did that, but the other was at night, so it was a different vibe then. And prior to a few weeks ago, I hadn’t been on the field since I was friends with those UCLA athletes back in the late ’90s!

The view of the Rose Bowl Field from the Press Room. Photo by Karen Salkin.

After a bit, the VIP guests moved into the Visitors Locker Room for an hors d’oeuvres reception.  For once, the food was not the attraction for me; it was my surroundings!  Even with all my sports experiences, I had no idea that professional team’s locker rooms were so gigantic; that was eye-opening.  (Actually, back when I was doing my TV show, I played in a Celebrity Charity Softball Game in Florida’s Tampa Stadium, so I was in a locker room then.  But I was just trying to survive in that oppressive heat down there, so I wasn’t taking much notice of my environs.)

The entire group then moved on to the Home Locker Room, which was adorned with all kinds of informative Rose Bowl posters around the entire perimeter, between the ceiling and the lockers. We each grabbed a boxed lunch and took a seat at a table, so the program could begin. *[Please make sure to read my program note at the very bottom of this page, when you get down there. Hint: It’s a grammar lesson. Bet you can’t wait!]

That’s when the highlight of my day came–I got to chat with Warren Moon for a bit about my days doing sports radio!  I give him a lot of credit—everyone was clamoring for time with him, so he could have been forgiven if he didn’t engage in a conversation with me, but he totally listened to everything I had to say, and even followed-up with a couple of questions of his own. He even laughed when I told him that my method of color commenting is to discuss the athletes’ looks, say who is cute, and out the ones who really need to fix their hair!  (He has no worries at all in these categories; he’s still very attractive and has no hair!)

David Meltzer and Warren Moon. Photo courtesy of Sports 1 Marketing.

The program began with the keynote speaker, Dave Meltzer, who is the co-founder (with Warren Moon) and CEO of Sports 1 Marketing. He gave a very interesting talk, which included singing Warren’s praises.  Dave pointed-out that Warren was one of the first black quarterbacks, and then quipped that now UCLA has a Jewish one, which is even more rare.  (I know that my former sports radio partner has been jumping out of his skin over that development because he always used to lament how few Jewish athletes there are. So to have one in his own backyard must be thrilling to him.) Dave offered us some wise business advice, which I’m sure the assemblage really appreciated.

When he was finished, there was a panel discussion, led by LA Times sports writer Sam Farmer.  Ironically, and amusingly, even though he can write, he can’t really speak, which I have a feeling he’d be the first to tell you.  He was a wreck when he was on the stage by himself for a few minutes, and tried to speak to us on his own, but he came to life as soon as he got to moderate the panel discussion. His discomfort was actually quite endearing.  He’s the opposite of moi—even though I’m now a writer, it’s so much easier for me to just talk by myself, as I did on my show for all those years.  That’s why guys have always compared me to Vin Scully! (At least I hope that’s why!) Maybe Sam and I should team-up—he can do all the writing, and I’ll speak for us both, (as I always do for Mr. X.)

(L to R) Sam Farmer, Jeremy Barnett, Warren Moon, and Dr. Hasan Badday. Photo by Alice Farinas.

The informative panel consisted of a quartet of successful, informative gents: the aforementioned Warren Moon; Josh Booty, (who’s a former quarterback, and World Series Champion pitcher—impressive!); regenerative medicine doctor Dr. Hasan Badday, (the one I most interested to hear); and businessman Jeremy Barnett, (who was the only one who apparently did not get the “business attire” memo.)

I give Sports 1 Marketing a lot of credit for making their maiden voyage just the correct length.  Events such as this one often tend to go on and on, but this one ended at just the perfect time.

The assemblage, paying rapt attention to the program. Not a texter in the bunch! (But can you tell that I’m the only one taking notes? See if you can find me, but if not, here’s a clue–the bright blue sleeve is mine!) Photo courtesy of Sports 1 Marketing.

As an added bonus, in addition to all the knowledge we accrued that day, we each left with David’s book, which Warren wrote the forward to.  Now that I got to see them both in live action, which means I can hear their voices in my mind as I read it, I have a feeling the advice in there will mean even more to me.

I can’t wait until Sports 1 Marketing’s second event, which I believe will be this summer.  I just hope that these locker rooms are super air-conditioned!

*[Program note: Many of you know by now that, as a journalist and former teacher, (and just a person who wants everyone to speak well,) I take any teaching opportunity that I can, so here’s an easy one. It was brought up this day by one of the speakers continually saying, “me and my siblings.”  I’m not naming him, but he must have been absent the day they taught the “my (anything) and I” lesson, as, sadly, so many people were.  But I have a feeling that, being the obviously intelligent man that he is, he will be happy to learn that lesson now. (And, hopefully, now that you are reading this, you will never make that mistake again yourself.) So here’s all you need to know about that particular grammar rule: Just remember to always put yourself last. Easy enough, right? “My friend and I,” “my siblings, my cousins, and I,” “the guy I’m stalking and I,”…I think you all get it now. Sometimes the first-person word is “me,” rather than “I,” but I think I’ll save that lesson for another time. Aren’t you relieved?]