I have never weighed in on the Met Gala before, (because I’m soooooo not interested!,) but this rendition was the most ridiculous ever, so it spurred me to action. (I know—it’s a week late at this point, but there’s so much else going on that I needed a minute to digest all the fashion nonsense.)

Chloe Sevigny did herself no favors with that severe old world hair-do and bad make-up, (perhaps her outfit should have just been a bag over her head,) while Jessica Biel, above, obviously forgot to wash and brush her hair!

I have never been inspired to spend even one second on this dog-and-pony show, but for some reason, every PR entity on both coasts sent me tons of photos of the arrivals this year. And voila–there were the majority of attendees, looking like clowns. (I semi-hate to say that because I was in an actual circus, so, of course, I don’t want to insult hard-working professional clowns!)

The first notice I opened listed each guest with first their image followed by the person’s name. The quasi-celebs I had heard of, (such as Lana del Rey,) I didn’t recognize, (perhaps because I knew just their names and not really their faces,) and the rest I had never even heard of before.

And how did all those people afford to pay 75k for just one event, where many of them couldn’t even sit down in their comical outfits, nor eat?

Rita Ora, thinking she looks sexy with her nakedness. But her sheer bodysuit underneath the schmata is all wrinkly. And her hair is disgusting!!!

And they had to give up their cell phones, so no fun selfies for them. Nor exposés on all the craziness. (But what happens if they’re parents, and their kids or babysitters have an emergency??? I surmise that the event must have some hotline inside for urgent situations. Or at least they should!) (Wait—maybe they need me to run the whole extravaganza next year! My art-centric theme would be “Wear Normal Attractive Outfits and Cover Yourselves The Frig Up!!!”)

I hesitated to post some of the photos of those desperate peeps, because it’s basically porn, but I want to show you how pathetic they looked.

The near-naked weirdos are one thing; the weight-loss ones are another. I have no problem with the former-chubbos among them using Ozempic (or the like) to lose weight. After all, they’ve all been having plastic surgery and other procedures, (such as botox and fillers,) for years, to update their looks! So why not also do one more thing to look better? Yes, they are potentially hurting themselves with the possible side effects. And I do wish people using those drugs for cosmetic purposes were not making the supply too short for the diabetics, who need them to live!

Kim Kardashian’s weird and dangerous waist.

But what *shocks me the most about the whole topic is the cost of these drugs!!! I recently found-out that they run around $200. a month! So of course celebs use it! Who else can afford it??? *[No, I’m not shocked that Oprah Winfrey has been lying about her usage of Ozempic for months—she’s always been a liar!!! In case you missed it, this is what I wrote about her weight-loss lies back in December: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/juicy-gossipkarens-rants-oprah-winfrey-is-a-liar-so-shes-making-me-see-red-right-now. I’m coming for Kelly Clarkson next!]

The one major Met Gala physical craziness I do have a problem with, though, is Kim Kardashian’s deformed-on-purpose waist. Why would she do that? She says she wants to be taken seriously as an actress, and even more unbelievably, as an attorney-to-be, so why is she doing this to herself??? Not only is her deformed look unattractive, it’s dangerous! And we all know that some dumb, uninformed teens will try to copy her and wear those crazy way-too-tight corsets to within an inch of their lives. Let’s just hope one doesn’t cost someone her actual life!

Kylie Minogue on the carpet with her filthy hair and bad make-up…

And what was up with all of their filthy hair??? When my tresses are not exactly their freshest, I either don’t go out in public, or I wear a baseball cap! I don’t even want to be seen by myself in the mirror looking like that. But these idiots do it on purpose because some “stylist,” (who actually has no style,) insists they look like that.

And they all need to look in big mirrors in bright daylight to see what their make-up looks like, without all they filters they use to publish their own “behind-the-scenes” photos. The discrepancies are glaring. (You all really need to look up the pix of Kylie Minogue that day to get an especially good chuckle.)

…compared to her behind-the-scenes filtered shots.

One last observation of mine is that so many of the women feature one or more of their most unattractive physical features in these insane outfits. For example, I have one word for Demi Moore and her uber-wrinkly arms—“sleeves”!!! And Michelle Williams needs to cover-up her pasty, out-of-shape legs, while why Cynthia Erivo would show her wrinkled and pudgy belly is anyone’s guess; but definitely not mine.

And several of their “after-party” looks were even worse!

Demi Moore and her wrinkly arms and armpits. (Click on the pic to see them in all their their glory.)

I wish I had the space to show you all the dreadful “fashions,” but these are some of the most egregious choices, so I hope they add a bit of mirth to your day.

And now you know what to never look like yourselves!

If you missed my review of the actual Oscars show yesterday, there are some juicy, and perhaps controversial, observations in there. But no worries—you can still read it here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/awards-show-oscars-2024.

Carey Mulligan winning Best Dressed from me!

I didn’t want to muddy the waters by sharing my thoughts on both the awards show and the many arrivals and attendant shows in the same review, which is why I split the usual one article in two.

You can also still read my Oscar night tweets @MajorCelebrity; there are so many new things to say that I’m not repeating the tweets here (even though they’re some of my best work, especially what Mr. X said about Bradley Cooper and his mother!!! I could not stop laughing.) So I suggest you check them out as soon as you finish reading this “arrivals” review.

To watch as many arrivals as I could on Sunday, I switched around between the local ABC coverage, another local news channel, E, and the official national one right before the show. So for once, I’m not commenting much on the interviewers. Actually, this time, they were all better than they’ve been in the past. I’m just lumping them all together, (until I get to the half-hour national show near the end.)

The overriding take-away from the night was just how much Ozempic, (or the other weight-loss drugs,) has been used by Hollywood denizens in the past few months! OMG! How can some of them, (such as Da’Vine Joy Randolph,) still be so big???

And I’m beginning by declaring Carey Mulligan to have looked the absolute best, followed closely by Gabrielle Union and Eva Longoria.

Eva Longoria. Photo by Karen Salkin.

By the way—this is how these arrivals shows work: Some celebs really do show up early because that’s just their nature—to make sure they’re never late to anything, (which is what my parents always did.) But many of the either not famous at all or just lesser actors/songwriters/directors go early because they know that these arrivals shows begin at least three hours before the actual awards telecast, so the hosts are desperate to interview anybody, and this way, they have a greater chance of getting at least a bit of publicity. And the few lucky ticket holders who really have nothing to do with the proceedings at all, (like contest winners or someone’s secretary and her friends,) want to be early to experience the entire hubbub of the day, or just hope that a camera will get them walking in if they look decent enough.

Now I’m going in order of my viewing of the arrivals:

Dominic Sessa. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The Holdovers‘ Dominic Sessa showed-up first, so he got face time on just about every channel! Smart. He’s such a sweet, intelligent, grateful kid. Well-spoken and thoughtful, as well.

The local LA duo from Channel 5 here were so excited when they conducted a successful interview!

Even though E’s Laverne Cox has gotten better at interviewing, she creepily kept saying that things are “gagging” her, which is disgusting. It turns-out that she meant it as a good thing, but when I heard her first say it about Rita Moreno, I was shocked until I realized what she meant by it.

Also, Laverne very stupidly put the mike in hearing-impaired Marlee Matlin‘s face, but Marlee saved the interview by very cutely (and pointedly!,) directing it to her interpreter instead.

Marlee Matlin sweetly showing Laverne Cox to point the mike towards her sign language interpreter! Photo by Karen Salkin.

I loved Past Lives writer/director Celine Song. She’s intelligent and thoughtful and said just the right things. And…I’m so jealous of her spot-on bangs!!!

Eva Longoria said, “We look better now than twenty years ago.” Yeah, right. I just wish that I had had the same surgeries and treatments as the people who can say that!!!

Jamie Lee Curtis looked excellent, too. For her. She actually looked sort-of like her mom that night. (It’s Janet Leigh, in case you don’t know. And now you do!)

Sandra Hüller’s unfortunate cat-eye. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Sandra Hüller is a wonderful actress, with double-success this year, (starring in two tough ones–Anatomy of a Fall and The Zone of Interest,) but her Oscars eye make-up was terrible! You can’t wear a cat-eye with shaded lids like hers. And boy, did she need earrings.

Just when I wanted to be a fan of Ramy Youssef, he wore a dress!!! Yuck.

Dwayne Wade spoke well about The Barber of Little Rock, the nominated short documentary for which he’s one of the Executive Producers. But, (and I hate to say this about my fellow Capricorn,) he’s from Illinois, and thinks the “s” at the end of it is pronounced!!! He’s obviously been mispronouncing it his whole life!

But he and his posse made a worthwhile film, so good for them.

Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Kingsley Ben-Adir is adorbs. And so real.

How much facial surgery has Mary Steenburgen had??? (And, boy, am I jealous!)

Colman Domingo speaks so well.

David Alan Grier’s head. Photo by Karen Salkin.

What is up with the shape of David Alan Grier’s head???

Billie Eilish‘s get-up was horrible, as usual. At first, I had tweeted that her arrivals outfit was the best she had ever looked. But, as soon as I posted it, the camera scrolled down and showed us that, once again, she was dressed like the opposite of a Barbie doll, (which is me putting it kindly.) But she did have much better hair than she usually does, for sure.

Did anyone else notice that Anya Taylor-Joy looks like an alien? Just sayin’.

What’s up with Emma Stone‘s weird, red, pointy-tipped nose???

Emma Stone. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Julianne Hough looked like the biggest star there, with the paparazzi surrounding her entrance, even though she was on the red carpet solely to interview others.

She was actually the most adorable arrivals interviewer ever, except for one glaring annoyance–she kept saying that absolutely everything was “amazing.” She has to ditch that dreadful habit.

But I have to laud Julianne for something I appreciated–when she and a guest knew each other well, or had an acquaintance in common, she acted like the rest of us do about it, and didn’t make it like she’s so in with the in crowd, as the other interviewers do.

Julianne Hough arriving to interview people. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Can people from Barbie finally stop wearing pink now? They’ve ruined the color for me.  Even Barbie herself didn’t wear that much pink! They need to mix in a red or blue already.

Arianna Grande looked awful, but I’m giving her a break because she was on SNL in NY until 1AM the night before, so she must have been exhausted from traveling.

I was going to vomit if one more person told each other how “beautiful” they are. I’m not joking—occasionally, that happened at least four times in one short interview!!!

Simu Liu said of someone, “Her vision for the movie shon through.“ Not the correct “shone”–he thinks the past tense of “shine” is “shon!” Shocking.

Emily Ratajkowski’s horrendously idiotic dress!

No one said Joseph Quinn‘s (who’s in the new A Quiet Place: Day One) last name! Even his co-star, Lupita Nyong’o, with whom he walked the red carpet and got interviewed, referred to him as “this guy!” And Joe was cute—he said, “If you thought the others were quiet…” He was also on the famous Stranger Things, so could someone have looked him up while the host was interviewing him???

There was that cute-but-definitely-not-famous Taylor Perez again! He had no reason for being at the Oscars other than that his publicist is working overtime. But, as you know, I’m always happy to gaze upon a beautiful face, so I’m not mad at him.

Interviewer Vanessa Hudgens pronounced Ariana Grande’s last name as “Granda!” A TV host of any kind should know how to pronounce a guest’s name, especially that of such a famous person!!! Shame on her.

Vera Wang. Photo by Karen Salkin.

At this point, when all the arrivals shows were over and the real show was about to begin, I told Mr. X, “I’m now too tired to watch, but it doesn’t matter because I’m going to be upset by all the winners, anyhow.” And I was correct! Well, about a lot of them, not all.

Lastly, I don’t have the energy to discuss the after-parties, except for two things:

Emily Ratajkowski‘s horrendously idiotic dress. Why would she, (or anyone,) want the world to see her droopy, saggy boobs??? That’s a real head-scratcher.

And I have one word of advice for Vera Wang—sleeves!!!

I had not been to an LA Fashion Week event, which I’ve always adored, since before the pandemic. But this invitation was so compelling that my friend Diane and I just had to attend. And we had tons of fun.

Christina Rahm leading the models in the finale of the Merci Dupre Fashion Show. Photo by Karen Salkin, as is the one at the top of this article.

The Merci Dupre Fashion Show was held at the uber-classy Waldorf Astoria Hotel in Beverly Hills, so it was a pleasure from the second we walked in the door.

On the way there, we tried to figure-out, (from the name of this new company,) what the fashions would be, with us each having a very different image in our heads. While I pictured very French designs, all angular and crazy, Diane pictured that they would be of the hip-hop variety.

The Merci Dupre Fashion Show. Photo by Karen Salkin.

But we were both wrong—the gist was sustainable, refurbished, and environmentally-protected fashions, made with textiles that provide protection from environmental toxins, (such as radiation, heavy metals, viruses, bacteria, parasites, and fungus,) by adding nanotech skin coatings to the apparel. We were told at the beginning of the show that the collection was created by a variety of designers, and it showed in the range of styles. There was everything from ripped jeans to billowy ball gowns to semi-naked lingerie styles.

The entire three-part event was fun.  irst up was the cocktail hour as we all arrived at the Waldorf’s Ballroom area. One of the most interesting parts of that portion of the evening was getting to watch the lead make-up artist, Mark Harvey, work his magic on the models’ faces. Mark is beautiful himself, so I would trust him with my visage anytime. He was also offering his wonderful little kits, (which include a toner, serum, and primer, along with a bronzing duo,) for purchase, so that the guests can achieve that flawless look at home.

The Marc Harvey Beauty Kit. Photo by Karen Salkin.

After tons of mingling time, we moved into the Ballroom for the main event. One of the perks of being a front row denizen at Fashion Week events is that we receive little goodie bags at our seats; I thought that perhaps that lovely practice had been discontinued in the past year or two. But here they were again, so we were happy from the get-go.

Diane pointed-out something that we both appreciated—there was a lot of diversity in the assemblage, especially in the audience, but also in the show.

Half the fun was checking-out the attendees, so I was thrilled to see that just about every audience member was dressed appropriately, one way or another. The invitation had suggested the attire for the evening to be “creative chic,” so it was open to interpretation. There was everything from classy pants suits with sensible flats to LBDs with funky boots to fancy gowns with sparkly stilettos heels. (Okay, one man with no fashion sense wore a tee shirt and jeans and sneakers, and unfortunately he was in the line of most of my photos! Sorry about that.)

Celia (on the left) and Karen Flloyd. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The presentation began with a trio of speeches from first Celia Evans Polhemus, who is a rep of the company that ran the event, followed by the publisher of show sponsor Elysian Magazine, Karen Floyd, and ending with remarks from Mercy Dupre founder, Christina Rahm, whose Ivy League education was concentrated in science, which explains why she’s a champion of the materials used on the fashions in this show.

Karen’s words were especially heartfelt; she had just come back from Ukraine, so she spoke about peace in the world, and you could tell that her feelings on the subject were raw.

Later, during the wrap-up speeches by the same women, we discovered that some of the models were not, in fact, models, per se, but rather soccer players! I should have guessed that of one of them because she had muscular thighs that I can only dream of rocking myself.

Merci Dupre fashion show curator, Christina Rahm, (on the left,) with the three soccer players who modeled iin the show. Photo by Karen Salkin.

On an auxiliary note, I adored the music that accompanied the strutting. I’ve been to a lot of fashion shows in my life, (including modeling in them beginning at the age of thirteen in New York City,) so believe me when I tell you that that was the perfect music. It had a perfect beat for strutting, and aided the proceedings without overpowering them.  I always admire auxiliary touches like that.

When the show was over, some people stayed upstairs to mingle and enjoy more cocktails, while the rest of us gathered downstairs on the patio of Espelette, the hotel’s restaurant, for the official after-party, where we enjoyed discussing what we had just seen.

More of the diverse fashions at the Merci Dupre show. Photo by Karen Salkin.

All in all, it was a lovely evening. I thank the Merci Dupre team for enticing me to return to LA Fashion Week. It was good to be back.

After attending this fun event, my friend, Denise, and I didn’t understand why it was titled “Love Your Body,” but it didn’t matter—we loved everything there except our bodies! We and the other zillion guests enjoyed it all.

Photo by Karen Salkin, as is the big one at the top of this page.

The whole day was jam-packed with activities! We didn’t know what to do first!

It was held at the Luxe Hotel on Sunset in Brentwood. I hadn’t been to that lovely venue in years, so it was interesting from the get-go.

Since Karen Michelle owns her own clothing and jewelry boutique in town, she created her event as basically a shopping one, but there were a lot of other aspects to it, which I’ll get to in a minute.  She did a wonderful job organizing the whole thing. I have no idea where she found the time because it was a gargantuan effort! [Note: By the way, Karen Michelle and I were not the only two “Karen”s there—there were several others working the event! I loved being part of such a popular group!]

Part of the outdoor area. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The display tables were all in one giant room, which was buzzing all day. The DJ in there was playing the music way too loud, so it was a bit difficult for Denise and me to shop because we couldn’t hear what the vendors were telling us about their wares, but the visuals helped us choose some worthy purchases. Denise went gaga over a bracelet she choose, which was made from spare car parts!

That shopping room was surrounded by a big garden area which had many built-in couches and dining tables; perfect for mingling and discussing the happening event.

Photo by Karen Salkin.

There were also not one, but two fashion shows. It was very crowded up there, so we didn’t see much, but the models came down the aisle near us, so we still got glimpses of many of the ensembles. It looked like the models themselves were all ages and sizes, which probably explains the “Love Your Body” moniker. The kids, especially, seemed thrilled to be participating.

It reminded me a bit of my teen-age modeling days. Although my decades-long modeling career covered just about every style, (runway, fashion illustration, photography, and even hand,) strolling the catwalk was always my favorite, especially when we got to dance, (as opposed to just strut.) So I was happy for them all to be having that fun experience.

Arzo Yusuf and Denise Wilke. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Both of our favorite part of the day was getting long glue-on nails! And they were both stiletto style, which neither of us had done before. (Denise cut hers down as soon as she got home, which she said was very easy to do, but I’m still rocking mine full-length, which explains why there might be some typos in here! How do people get anything done with such talons?! Outside of looking glamorous, of course.)

Denise had Sexy Boss Babe nails applied by Arzo Yusuf, my fellow UCLA attendee and the founder of this “social value” company. Some of the proceeds of her sales go to help kids in foster care, and fight against human trafficking. Good for her! And the nails were so easy to apply that we each took home a pair of red ones, to do for ourselves down the line.

(L-R) Yermin Varela, Laura Varela, and Karen Salkin’s nails! Photo by Denise Wilke.

And then I had mine done by two absolutely adorable and fashionable sisters. Laura Varela, who owns the company, Nail Charmed, worked on me, with an assist from her younger sis, Yerlin, while we chatted and laughed. Theirs is the relationship we should all have with our siblings! (And my nails now look great, too!)

In between it all, they had light snacks available to buy, and there were big jugs of water and iced tea available at all times, which I especially appreciated on that uber-hot day. It was really comforting to know that it was always there.

We had to leave before the raffle winners were announced, with the place still abuzz. But we’re already planning on retuning next year. Now that you know what this event is like, I hope to see you there, too.

The weather gods smiled on Sue Wong at the end of a month of rainstorms, and provided her, and the guests, with an absolutely gorgeous day for a fabulous bunch in her stunning Malibu home.

Sue and her models. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I had been to The Cedars, Sue’s Los Feliz estate, many a time, and also to fetes at her design atelier in Koreatown, but this was my first visit to her Malibu house, which also comes with a title—ArtHaus. And that it is—an art house! The many art pieces are spectacular. I can see why she wants to show them off. It’s like a top-level gallery in there.

The occasion was to announce that she’s branching out from gown designs to architecture! That’s a good career choice for her because, judging by her two abodes that I’ve been in, I would choose her to design a place for me! I love her sense of style! Mr. X would be so thrilled if we made our own house look similar to hers!

Photo by Karen Salkin.

At the brunch, as we entered the beautiful hillside property, overlooking the Pacific Ocean, we were immediately met by a duo of fully-stocked bars. I was just thrilled to see a plethora of big, beautiful water bottles! At some of the parties I attend, I have to beg for just plain water!!!

Sue and her staff think of everything! There was also a little mini-donut-frying stand, with people serving them up freshly-made, and a variety of sauces to top them with. What a cute touch for a daytime event. That tided the guests over until the actual brunch was ready to be served. (I personally, get sick even hearing the word “donut”; my very first job in Los Angeles was in Stan’s Corner Shop in Westwood Village, where their specialty was—you guessed it—donuts!!! They served food, too, but the only thing we were allowed to eat there was the donuts! And we could take home as many as we wanted, too! Needless to say, I lived on them for awhile. So, I can’t even smell them now without feeling queasy!)

The dessert table. Yu-um! Photo by Karen Salkin.

The brunch itself was wonderful—breakfasts sandwiches, turkey meatballs, several types of pasta salad, spanakopita, and, of course, my fave—lots of yummy desserts!

And, as with all of Sue’s events, there were lots of models strolling along a dedicated walkway, rocking Sue Wong gowns, with extravagant headdresses. And there was also live music entertaining us all day.

Sue addressed the crowd to tell of her architecture endeavor, with an eye towards opening her own hotels. Let me tell you—I will be the first one to sign up to stay in one of those! If they’re as lovely as as everything else Sue does, they will be out of this world!!!

[Grammys Week-end Note: As usual with all awards shows, I plan to live-tweet the Grammys on Sunday, beginning with the arrivals. So, if you don’t already follow me on Twitter, this would be a good time to start. @MajorCelebrity. And then tune-in beginning at around 3PM Pacific time. I may begin a tiny bit late, though, because I will be rushing home from a brunch, but my plan is to be settled in by 3. And them my full Grammys review, (minus my thoughts that I already tweeted the night before,) will be published here on Monday. I’m hoping it’s a good one! (Both my review and the Grammys show itself.)]

As someone who has known this fine men’s tailor for years, I was proud to attend the opening party for Art Lewin’s newest showroom.  It’s at a perfect location in trendy Santa Monica, right off the happening Promenade.

Art and Jaime Lewin. I love their coordinated blue outfits! Photo courtesy of Bergman Public Relations.

A big crowd tuned-out to wish him well, and Art looked really sharp for the occasion.  I loved his blue suit!

The catered food kept coming all night.  There were several food stations set-up; one served-up sliders with caramelized onions, while others featured cheese platters and beautiful fresh fruit.  There were also plenty of passed hors d’oeuvres, including spanakopita, chicken and beef skewers, and egg rolls.  And there was even more than all that!

Photo by Karen Salkin.

A DJ kept the fun vibe going all night.  I enjoyed that the fete was held in the spacious lobby of the building, which was perfect for easy mingling.

After I was there for awhile, a woman came up to my group, and asked if we had received out goodie bags yet.  How nice was that?!  (Usually, at many of the events I attend, rude guests try to grab those way before they’re even offered!) The woman said that, whenever we were ready, she would be happy to lead us into Art’s lovely showroom, but I already knew the way—I had passed it on the way in because it was right next door to the soiree!

The gift bag display in Art Lewin’s new showroom. Photo courtesy of Bergman Public Relations.

When we entered the space, not only did we see tons of neat bags all lined-up for us, and Art’s beautiful suits and ties on display, but we noticed that many of the guests were shopping!  The designs are so attractive that they just could not help themselves from using the fete as a wardrobe-enhancing experience.  (I totally understand the urge—Art recently custom-made me a piece that my professional wardrobe was in great need of–a beautiful blue man-tailored shirt.)

Photo courtesy of Bergman Public Relations.

Each gift bag contained a different-patterned silk tie.  I have a feeling that we were supposed to just blindly take one, but when we saw other guests peeking inside several of the bags to choose the exact tie they wanted, we followed suit.  (Get it?  Suit? This was a tailor’s party!)  I actually was happy with the very first one I touched, but I’m glad I perused them anyway, because I was bowled over by the sheer volume of designs!  That was impressive.

Besides enjoying the gifts and fun fare, I was happy to be a part of the assemblage who was there to congratulate Art Lewin on his sixth showroom.  (Two of the others are in Beverly Hills and downtown LA.)  I have no idea how he stays so calm and down to earth all the time!

So, I say congrats to Art, and wish him the best of luck in this latest endeavor!

Photo by Karen Salkin.

I hadn’t been to a Style Week fashion show in quite awhile, so I was happy to attend the Malan Breton Spring Collection one that kicked-off their week.

The whole event was actually quite fun. After fighting through shows at the poorly-run Taglyan Complex in Hollywood the week before, it was an immense pleasure to attend one at DTLA’s excellent venue, The Reef. It’s so easy, well-run, and best of all, spacious!!!

That big guy whose back is in front of this pic is the thief who’s in my seat! (If you recognize his head, please reprimand him for me!) Photo by Karen Salkin.

The show was held on the second floor of the building, and that whole level was rife with fun activities; there were girls carrying old-time “cigarette trays” with bags of popcorn, a table with freshly brewed coffees and teas, and interesting new bottled waters everywhere you turned.

Every nook and cranny had vendors selling something fun–make-up, hair products, jewelry, even gowns! And a local bakery had set-up shop right in the middle of that second floor “lobby” area. There was also a darker room with a clubby vibe that featured two bars and comfy couches, too. The whole shebang was everything Fashion Week should be!

Photo by Karen Salkin.

My pal, Alice, and I had front row seats, (as I always have for Fashion Week in the past.) That would have been great had not some piggy people purloined them when we left for a few minutes while the room was still filling-up. So, sadly, I didn’t get to see much of the fashions themselves. But what I did see I enjoyed.

The show was good, though. A music duo entertained the crowd at the start, and then, after about four models went down the runway, they showed a video that Malan made, lauding his influencers.

This is the design I loved the most. Photo by Alice Farinas.

Then back to the fashions; the peeps around me were chuckling a bit because these were such colorful, warm fashions, but not one model would crack even the slightest smile. They kept their straight-faced characters going throughout. I modeled for years, so I know just how hard that is to do. So, big props to them!

As interesting as all of Malan Breton’s designs were, my mouth was watering for the couple of fashions that were created out of material with pink and blue designs. I loved those!

The show itself was short and sweet, and accomplished everything it needed to. And so did we at Style Week.

Photo by Sam Fu, while the big one at the top is by Derrick Rodgers.

Having been a model for many years when I was younger, I’ve always looked forward to Fashion Week, both here and in my native New York.  But, in very recent years, because of so many other time commitments, I’ve had to pare down my participation in most of the festivities.  The one show I will never miss, however, is that of Sue Wong.  Her offerings are always gorgeous and dramatic, and her after-parties are among the best I’ve ever attended.  She continued those traditions with her latest Spring Collection.

I was thrilled to see that the majority of the guests knew enough to dress-up for the occasion, even many in gowns, which you rarely see in laid-back Los Angeles.

The show was held once again in my least favorite venue, the Taglyan Complex in Hollywood, but at least this go-round, it was much easier to negotiate around the interior, especially the always-overcrowded lobby.

Photo by Sam Fu.

The rain that night curtailed the pre-show cocktail scene, but not the guests’ enthusiasm.  In addition to the full no-host bar, there was a table making fresh coffees and teas in thin, easy-to-carry-into-the-auditorium cylinders, and bins of bottles of cold coffee drinks and flavored waters.

Now to the actual designs on this runway.  Sue Wong outdid herself with this one.  The whole affair was more elaborate than ever.  I don’t know how she finds the time to come up with all these exotic creations, especially amidst all the soirees she’s famous for throwing!

The collection was grouped in colors, as usual, which I always appreciate.  I swear, there wasn’t one gown or dress I wasn’t a fan of, but I especially loved the silver group.

As usual, the were plenty of extravagant headdresses, and, to go along with the theme of Alchemy and Masquerade, they added masks this time, as well.

Singer Michael Peer. Photo by Karen salkin.

Several of us who regularly cover fashion appreciated the interesting touch of having a few older models this time. I liked that, and think that perhaps they carried-off Sue’s classic designs better than some of the younger ones. Kudos to Sue for choosing them!

But my favorite model at this show was one of the young ones, a girl with wild, very curly red hair, which went perfectly with the outfits.  I can’t believe those tresses looked so good on her;  I look like Monica in the Bahamas with my locks like that!

Right before the Finale, when all the girls appeared together, in spectacular fashion, a singer named Michael Peer serenaded the crowd with Phantom of the Opera, which was spot-on with the theme.

Elegant Sue Wong arriving at her soiree. Photo by Alice Farinas.

But the rest of the music that night was brutal.  Sue Wong’s designs are way too classy and elegant to be accompanied by that horrible pounding music.  I know it’s de rigueur for modern-day fashion shows, but Sue’s collections are above that trend. Maybe next time, they’ll choose strains worthy of her creations.

But noise aside, Sue Wong’s Spring Collection was quite the success. And an excellent time was had by the appreciative standing-room-only crowd.

To celebrate her triumphant show, Sue threw her usual unbelievably generous after-party. But this time it was at her spacious Atelier near Hancock Park, rather than at her beautiful Los Feliz home. That turned-out to be a great idea–I loved seeing the work space of a design genius!

Some of the desserts. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Porto’s did the catering, and there was fare like I’ve rarely seen. There were four or five rooms with different foods, featuring everything from hot pasta and sausages to many creative salads to Cuban pastries (both sweet and savory) to full-on cakes of ever flavor imaginable. And, for the entire duration, servers walked around with trays of sandwiches, potato balls, and ham and cheese croquettes. Lucky for me that my dress wasn’t as tight as some of the gowns on the other guests, so I could eat as much of this delish cuisine as I wanted!

There were also a couple of full bars, a room with special confections from Downey’s Desserts, and even a bowl of her perfume samples. Sue and her staff did not leave a stone unturned.

And now I can’t wait until her next event. Congrats to Sue Wong on all her success!

Years ago, a few show business powers were putting together a talk show for me. They paired me with British fashion icon David Emmanuel, who had designed Princess Di’s wedding dress, as my co-host. It was almost all set to go, and then the producer’s manager, whom I had rejected as mine a few years earlier, put the kibosh on it. He couldn’t bear to see me succeed, even if it meant he would, as well!!! But I loved getting to know David.

Some of the Kimberley London swimsuits. Photo by Karen Salkin.

So, when I was invited to an elegant fete for a new young Brit designer, this time of bathing suits, I was thrilled to pop right on over to the the aptly-named, in this case, London Hotel in West Hollywood.

We were there to meet Kimberley Garner, but I, sadly, never had that pleasure because she was always surrounded by admirers. (And my friend, Lila, and I were time-constrained that night.) But we did get to peruse her beautiful designs. I’d be proud to wear any of them (if I can even still fit into them!!!)

It was held on the Rooftop, by the pool, which was also very appropriate since we were there to view swimwear! And it was smartly planned for 6PM, when it was still light enough out to see the wares.

The crowd, looking good, but way too many are looking down at their phones! Kimberley Garner is the one in the white dress, near the very right of the snap. Photo by Karen Salkin.

A more perfectly put-together soirée I cannot imagine. Everything was beautiful: the venue, the evening spring weather, the food and beverages, the service, even the guest list! It was far from the usual crazies I see at these events. Everyone even looked good! They were wearing a variety of fashions, but the only ones that counted were the Kimberley London bathing suits on the models. They lucked-out with the lovely weather more than the rest of us did! And Kimberley herself looked adorable, so I trust her fashion sense.

I was thrilled that the invitation correctly deemed the fare to be “Afternoon Tea,” which many people don’t get right. (Nescients, and phonies, often erroneously label it “High Tea,” because they think that makes them sound classy. Wrong!) The hour was a little late for that particular repast, but the menu was spot-on.

As we entered, we were offered lovely, light non-alcoholic cranberry-lemon spritzers. (Yes, we all know that I eschew all things lemon, but these were so attractive that I had to at least try one. And it tasted so delightful that it didn’t even bother me this time!) There was also a bar set-up, in case we wanted champagne or some other beverage.

The buffet, over-looking the skyline, was stunning. It was exactly as I love afternoon tea buffets to be! And the spread was like one you’d see in an upscale magazine. The box of a beautiful tea brand I was unfamiliar with was accompanied by lemon slices, several kinds of sweeteners, including the only one that counts–honey, and pitchers of milk and cream.

Part of the Afternoon Tea buffet. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Also on the long table were three-tiered platters of scones and desserts, in the proper order of eating them. There were raisin scones with clotted cream, (which was much appreciated, even though I don’t think it was the real thing,) but they forget the jam! The sweets were lemon meringue bars, bite-size fruit tarts, madeleines, and mini chocolate-mocha cakes. Shockingly, Lila and I didn’t try any desserts! We were too full from the sandwiches and scones!

Speaking of the first course, the tray-passed finger sandwiches were absolutely delicious! Lila couldn’t get enough of the e-word salad on white bread ones, while I gobbled many chicken salad on raisin bread. They were really OMG. There was also turkey on light wheat bread, and a salmon-cucumber combo on pumpernickel. (They were smart to pass those, so guests took just a couple at a time. Otherwise, I have a feeling they would have helped themselves to many more.)

In-between all the yumminess, we got to go through the racks of Kimberley London swimsuits, some bikinis, some a form of one-piece, and all uber-sexy. There were also three models walking around in them, so we could see what they looked like on real bodies. (Well, real if you’re under twenty-five with no big body issues!)

I predict big success for Kimberley on this side of the pond. And I vow to lay off the clotted cream for a little bit, so that I can rock one of her suits myself this summer!

The show opener. Photo by Arun Nevader.

It’s not even Spring yet, (that happens at the end of this week,) but last week’s Fashion Week brought us 2015’s Fall collections.

I usually work hard to make it out to at least a trio of shows, but I had time for only one this year. So I knew I had to make it a really good one!

To that end, I chose gown designer, Sue Wong. I, sadly, hadn’t been to a Sue Wong fashion show in a couple of years, so I was happy to attend this one, showcasing her Mythos and Goddesses Collection, which, as usual, is perfect for all seasons! I always love seeing her elegant designs, and these did not disappoint.

What did disappoint was the challenging venue, Taglyan Complex. I’ll tell you more about of that uncomfortable place at the end of this column, but now I must laud Sue’s beautiful designs.

One of my faves. Photo by Arun Nevader.

I love that this show’s gowns, (with a few cocktail dresses peppered in,) which all featured thin silhouettes with varied beading, were grouped according to color. The section with blues and purples, (followed by one of various shades of greens,) was my fave. I don’t know how all this beauty can come from the mind of just one woman!

And, as always, Sue Wong crowned her models with elaborate headdresses from several designers. They complemented her designs perfectly. It was all gorgeous, including the jewelry and purses. Even most of the models were excellent this time! Only a couple of them made me scratch my head with confusion as to how they got hired, but it was basically a pretty good group.

Summer Watson. Photo by Arun Nevader.

The show began with a wonderful musical presentation from British opera singer, Summer Watson. I wish the good music had continued, but whoever chose the show’s pounding house music beats, distorted by the venue’s awful sound system, needs to be replaced. Such elegant fashions should not have been accompanied by such crass music. That didn’t take away from the stunning gowns, at all, but it did make me plan to bring earplugs next time, just in case! (And remember—I was a dance club promoter, so I don’t mind loud music…when it’s good.)

As to the cat-walking itself, as each section arrived, signaled by a flash of different-colored lights on the uber-impressive chandeliered ceiling, (which was a really clever touch,) I couldn’t believe that there was more! Each design was more alluring than the one before, and, even though you could tell that each had the Sue Wong touch, they were all so different from each other. I could not imagine that more designs were coming! In all, there had to be close to one hundred different creations!!! Sue Wong must never sleep!!! Or at least, have the most creative, productive dreams ever!

The exquisite ceiling. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The evening ended for many of us with a soirée worthy of Sue Wong’s fashion triumph. It was held at her iconic estate, The Cedars, and had so much food that, if the models attended, they must have been thrilled to see! They probably hadn’t eaten in weeks! (Although a few of them should have maybe continued that practice. Just sayin’.)

Designer Extraordinaire, Sue Wong, in the middle, being lauded by her models. Photo by Arun Nevader.

The fete was Sue’s usual glamorous, generous affair, with a buffet of sumptuous dishes from around the world. There were healthful salads, meatballs, sausages, chicken and mashed potatoes, (which were my faves,) in one room, and platters of all kinds of cold appetizers in another. But it seemed that many guests milled around the constantly-replenished dessert buffet. That chocolate mousse cake was oh so good!

The room with the bar, and the garden tables, were two also-popular areas. And in-between eating and chatting, many hipsters wandered around the open rooms to admire the vintage décor. Sue must be the opposite of a worrier to allow that many people to wander around her lovely home. Mr. X and I get nervous when even one person comes to our not-so-lovely one!

The finale. Photo by Arun Nevader.

Now, as promised, I’ll tell you a bit more about the unfortunate venue for the show, the Taglyan Complex. It’s absolutely no reflection on Sue, nor her people; this is where very many fashion shows take place, although, with their crazy logistics, I can’t figure out why.

That place was not designed for the crowds that Fashion Week attracts. There’s always a log-jam of about four hundred people trying to get through one door. And I don’t mean one double door…I mean just one single door! It’s a claustrophobe’s nightmare. I’m usually seated in the first two rows of all fashion shows, (that’s where the guest goodie bags usually are, by the way,) but I couldn’t even check to see if that’s where my seats were this time because I didn’t want to be penned-in at this place. I chose to sit in the last row, for easier exit, which I’ve never done before, (especially because that meant I was foregoing what were most likely excellent gifts.) (That seating change didn’t work out too well for me, either, because the standing-room crowd kept crushing in on us.)

I  was invited to events at Taglyan every night last week, but, since I had been there previously to even Sue’s show, and knew the horrors of it, I had to decline. I braved the crowds for only Sue.

This pic demonstrates how no one sees life naturally anymore; they’re all viewing it through their camera lenses. Shame. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I’ll tell you more tales of that horrible place some other time, but now I want to bring the room back up before I go. The second I get back to being my old skinny self, (which means I just may choose to walk red carpets again,) when someone asks me what I designer I’m wearing, I hope the answer will be a resounding, “Sue Wong!”

To see more of her work, please go to www.suewong.com.