US OPEN WRAP-UP 2017

With Roger Federer being beaten in the quarterfinal, and even worse, his arch-nemesis Rafael Nadal winning the whole darn thing, my heart really isn’t even into writing about the US Open tennis tournament this year. But I’m trying to be even a tenth of the great sport that Roger is, so I’ll buck-up and try. (Only because I had already taken most of these notes as the tourney went along.)

And what a different US Open this was!  It was so weird to not have five of the top guys there, and at the same time, it was sort-of a pleasure.  I loved seeing all the fresh faces, and was calmer for Roger as it went along, knowing he didn’t have at least three of the other top men, (Novak Djokovic, Andy Murray, and Stan Wawrinka,) to face along the way. [They were all out with injuries, along with Kei Nishikori and Milos Raonic.]

But the organizers should have moved everyone up in the draw when Andy Murray dropped-out, after the draw was already done but two days before the Open began. They moved everyone up who was seeded lower than Andy, (who was #2,) except for #3 Roger Federer, whom they should have switched to the other half, where he would have had an easier time of it, with the opponents he would have had to face. [Note: They were just following the already set-out rules.] Oh well. It was what it was. It looked like no one would have beaten Rafa, anyway—he was a man on fire!

And the women’s side was also much more interesting without Serena Williams there. (She was having a baby, in case you’ve been living under a rock. And, in keeping with her winning ways, she gave birth…on Labor Day!!! That woman has a charmed life!)

It was wonderful for American tennis that the women’s semi-finals were comprised of all Americans, but, since I’m not a fan of any of them, I didn’t get all giddy about it like the ESPN commentators did! By the end, I actually didn’t mind the two who were in the Final, and I sort-of like Champion Sloane Stephens now. As I tweeted, even more amazing than Sloane’s jump over nine hundred places in the rankings in just seven weeks is the fact that she went from me finding her totally unlikeable to now being happy for her in that same space of time!

And a very special congrats to Martina Hingis, who, twenty years after her US Open victory in the singles competition, won both of her doubles Championships here this year—the Ladies Doubles and the Mixed doubles—and in back-to-back days, no less!!! What an accomplishment! You go, girl!!! (I really do think she should give singles a whirl again—I think she’d do really well!)

Okay, now that all the official stuff is out of the way, here are some of the notes I took during my two-week siege of watching just about every second of the tournament. (I, sadly, missed much of the action on just the first two days, when I was committed elsewhere, other than my couch!) I’ll try to explain my thoughts in the shortest way possible, but maybe this would be a good time to follow me on Twitter, because I tweet along the way, and you know that I’m character-constrained on that platform! @MajorCelebrity.

Okay, let’s get to them, in the order that I wrote them, (which is why some of my observations might be repeated occasionally):

– I hate that the announcers kept saying that each match was over far from the end.  And they always have it wrong, and never admit it.  What is wrong with them???

– Why do so many of these young ladies have stomachs sticking out?  And members of both sexes don’t stand-up straight. Shame.

– I was glad to see that a lot of these must-be-in-shape girls have that arm-to-boob fat.

– I get in such pain when the player I feel deserves to win, whether because they’re the better athlete or the nicer person, or, in the case of Roger Federer, both, doesn’t win.  I actually have nightmares about it.  When Roger was struggling in the second round, I actually had to go to sleep in the middle of the day to avoid the pain.  And when I awoke, I had a bad feeling and knew there was something happening in life that I didn’t want to face. (But he pulled it out. Yay!)

– I absolutely detest Coco Vandeweghe.

– Rafa must exhaust himself with all his crazy superstitious machinations.  I know how it is because I have many myself, but I don’t do them every minute, as he does.

– His second round opponent, Taro Daniel from Japan, speaks English so well!!!  And I have a feeling that Rafa is jealous of his hair.

– To the ESPN commentators: Please stop speaking for me by saying that everybody wants to see Roger v. Rafa!  I do not!  Ever! (Unless it’s a match that’s already over, and Roger came out victorious, as in the Australian Open Final earlier this year.)

– The most riveting match of the tournament was the Nadal-Daniels second rounder. I couldn’t take my eyes off each and every point, which never happens with me.  Even though I watch every second of the US Open, I often do crossword puzzles or organize the living room while I do so.  So I more just listen to the entire proceedings and not keep my eyes on the TV every second.  But I couldn’t tear my eyes away from this one.  Taro Daniel was a joy to watch.  He more than hung in there with Rafa—he outplayed him, for at least a set and a break. I just wish he could have kept it going until the end.

– This upset me all along, and I should have tweeted about it every day. ESPN should be ashamed of themselves for constantly running commercials for…guns!!! What is wrong with them??? Are they so desperate for the ad revenue that they choose to ignore human decency??? Besides that it’s offensive to so many of their viewers, they should realize that a lot of young people watch their coverage of sporting events, and that makes the showing of ads for firearms even worse. And adding to the shameful mix is that the adverts end with a gun being pointed right at us!!! I lost all respect for ESPN with this extreme stupidity and insensitivity on their part.

– Mischa Zverev is so nice.  You can’t help but root for him.  I’m so glad he lasted longer than his little bro, Alexander, who’s already in the Top 10, as a teen-ager!!!  (Really little bro—he’s more than ten years younger!)

— But why did he, and several other players, wear those hideous outfits??? The all looked like they work at Hot Dog on a Stick!!!

– Maria Sharapova was back from her drug suspension. And she looks the same as she did eleven years ago, when she won this thing!

– Here’s just one of the reasons I love watching every second of tennis—I learn so many interesting facts.  Here’s one, that I’m happy to share with you: there was a women’s tennis match in 1984 that lasted over six hours!  And it was only two sets! And they played one point that went over 29 minutes!  One point!!!  I had never heard of that before.  And I don’t see how that’s even possible.  I would have thrown the point, just to be able to stop playing it. [Note: Here are the official scoops on it: The longest rally in the history of tournament play consisted of six hundred forty-three shots, which took twenty-nine minutes! OMG! The match was in 1984 between Vicky Nelson and Jean Hepner at the Virginia Slims tournament in Virginia—Duh. It lasted six hours and twenty-two minutes, and was won by Vicky, 6-4, 7-6. It ended with a 13-11 tiebreak that went one hour and forty-seven minutes, during which that one amazing point was played. I just hope they had plenty of oxygen on hand, both for the players and the observers, who must have gasped, and held their breath, dozens of times!]

– I really detested that they kept saying that everyone wanted to see Roger play Rafa here, because they never had played each other in this tourney before.  I think I speak for all Roger fans when I say that we wish that Rafa had gone out earlier because he’s Roger’s arch-nemesis.  I’d always rather see my beloved hero play someone easier.  Duh.

– And have I mentioned that I absolutely detest Coco Vandeweghe?! She’s such a douchebag. And an awful sport.  She made defeated opponent Aga Radwanska wait for the post-match handshake at the net while she walked away to celebrate.  Even Chris Evert admitted that Coco is “arrogant out there,” and the jingoistic commentators never say a word against any Americans!

– On the other had, Coco’s doubles partner, Shelby Rogers, seems so sweet.

– Elena Vesnina was lovely in her defeat.

– Why are so many American girls so unlikeable?  I’m taking to you, Madison Keys, Sloan Stephens, both Williams sisters, and especially Coco Vandeweghe. (And I can’t believe that all four of them who were there wound-up being in the Semis!!!) [Note: I did change my mind about Sloane and Madison after I wrote this, but not completely yet. But their behavior after the Final really helped me to begin to like them, at least, especially Sloane.]

— But I do have to laud Venus Williams for not only staying in the game for over two decades, but for remaining near the top of it! Because of her excellence this year, she’s now ranked #5, which is an amazing achievement!

– I hate that Madison begins every single sentence she says with, “I mean…” I know that a lot of people do the same nowadays, like idiots, but she really does use it all…the…time!

– I’m not being mean with this comment, because I don’t think that even good teeth will help the looks of Madison Keys; I’m talking health here: Wouldn’t you think that by now Madison Keys could afford braces already??? She really needs to get them now, or else I think she’ll have real dental problems in a few years. Those Bucky Beavers really need to be pulled-back and filed-down. There are invisible braces now, so she really should look into them. Just sayin’.

– Speaking of bad teeth, how have I missed those of Caroline Wozniacki all these years???

– Commentators Chris Fowler, John McEnroe, and Brad Gilbert should be ashamed of themselves for their rudeness to Philipp Kohlschreiber about how few team members were in his box during his fourth round match against Roger!!!  It was disgusting, and they really need to apologize for their dreadful behavior.

– It’s nice that four of the eight female quarterfinalists are American, but at the same time it’s sad that not one of them is likable! [Note: See my previous note on this topic, three paragraphs above.]

– It’s also weird that the final eight have only one of the top eight seeds in them!!!  And the men have only Roger and Rafa.

– I have to admit that Sloane was one of the most honest people in her on-court interview post-quarterfinal win.  And she’s the prettiest, and I soooo appreciate that she wears make-up on the court!  I wish they all would!!! (Aga Radwanska is the only other glamour girl. And Maria Sharapova does it with her on-court wardrobe—she really doesn’t even need make-up! I hope you all caught her Swarovski crystal studded dresses this time.)

– What a super-long, super-late quarterfinal U.S. Open tennis match between American Sam Query and South African Kevin Anderson that was!  (Kevin won, by the way, and then made it all the way to the Final! Good for him!)

– I have never even said this about Serena Williams, but Coco Vandeweghe is a c-word!  Truly.  Because her opponent did an unsuccessful challenge, she told the umpire that she deserved an extra serve, saying it was a “delay of game!”  Challenges are a natural part of the game, with never a penalty attached, yet Coco feels that she should get special consideration.  As usual. I’ve never seen anything like it.  Also, when she was asked in an interview if she and a fellow American girl would share their insights into a player she had played against in the past, and the other girl would now be playing, she answered that no—this is a solitary game, and something to the effect that she’s out for herself.  See what I mean about her being a c-word?!

– I’m sick for Roger Federer to have lost his quarterfinal, but I have to be happy for Juan Martin del Potro after all he’s been through.  And, especially in his fourth round victory over Dominic Thiem, he’s a major lesson in never giving up! I don’t recall ever witnessing a comeback quite like that one!

– Roger is the classiest, loveliest, most honest person ever.  No wonder he’s The Stranger I Love Most.

– How’s this for rudeness? ESPN’s Pam Shriver interviewed people in the stands…during the Women’s Championship match!!!  They talked through sooooo many points!!! Did it ever occur to ESPN that most of us are trying to watch the match??? Here are a couple of radical programming ideas–do the interviews beforehand, or else film them during the match, but show them when the windbag analysts are just jawboning when it’s over!

– I saved this one for the end, because keeping pointing it out constantly is like hitting my head against a wall—program host Chris McKendry will never learn to speak correctly, (even though she does all that phony type of speech all the time, like the affected actress character that Kristen Wiig did on fake Password on Saturday Night Live!) She continues to add “l”s at the end of words that end in “w.” such as “draw” and “saw!” Is she an idiot??? The answer is yes, she is!!! How can she be allowed on TV??? She must know how stupid she sounds by now, especially because I, for one, has tweeted at her about it! (I think I layed off this time because when people want to remind stupid, I have to give it up for my own sanity.)

And I think I’ll leave it there. I never watch the Aussie Open in January, (too much to do in my birthday month,) and I sit out the French Open, as well, (because I always feel like the dust from the dirt is getting to me, even on TV!,) so you won’t hear much about tennis from me until next summer’s Wimbledon.

But, as with all things tennis, I have to end by saying, Go, Roger—in everything you do!