US OPEN 2015 UPDATES
Yes, I know it’s a holiday, and I never post a column on them. But there’s so much to say about the first week of the US Open that I just save to share it already.
Novak Djokovic, entertaining the crowd after one of his wins. Photo by Karen Salkin.
I thought of something during the final match late last night that had never occurred to me before. Here’s my revelation: Not only would I never have the ability to play even one thousandth like these athletes do, I would never want to! Maybe that’s one reason I admire sportsmen and women so much–I always think they’re being tortured! Yes, many of them are wealthy because of the sport, and they get to see the world, and have a modicum of fame from it, but oh my gosh–the work is horrible. If someone told me I’d either have to go out there for even one set during the day, or tell them every secret I ever had, they’d know everything about me within a minute. I have to admit that when I was doing my show, I used to play in some celebrity tennis tournaments for charity, and I did have fun. But every day for years and years and years? No way. (And the fun was due to that my play didn’t matter, and I was helping people while acting the fool.)
Okay, here are my daily takes on the US Open this past week, preceded by my thoughts on what seems to be the overriding topic of the entire tournament :
When I told a great friend of mine, whose opinion I respect so much, that I was going to be off the grid for two weeks to watch every second of the US Open, she said that she couldn’t watch any of it because of her hatred of Serena Williams. (Later, we both agreed that we don’t “hate” her; rather, we can’t stand her. There is a difference.) I thought that was strange because the tourney is about so much more than Serena. But, on Day 1, the commentators made it clear that it was all about her to them. Strange, when she should have been banned for life from there because of her threats of physical violence toward a lines-woman a few years ago.
She’s a thug, rude, a liar, a phony, and an overall bad sport.
Maybe that’s why Maria Sharapova really dropped-out before it began–she didn’t want to be in Serena’s possible record-tying tournament. I’m just sayin’.
The first time Serena played last week, they said, “Let’s listen to the crowd erupt for her!” But in actuality, there was hardly any applause. There was more for her Russian eighty-sixth-ranked opponent, who didn’t even have a coach or any friends or family there!
Now let’s go in order, day-by-day. (Some I already tweeted, but most I didn’t.) (And I’ve been sleep-deprived the entire time, so please forgive any mistakes.):
MONDAY
The first topic that annoyed me was that they’re planning to interview players in the middle of their matches! Whether the players agree to it or not, they should not do that during a match!!! It’s just creepy, not to mention a distraction. [Note: Only player, Coco Vandeweghe, did it, and then we never heard another word about it!]
Chris Evert and Cliff Drysdale (and subsequently Darren Cahill) said they do it in other sports, so tennis has to catch up. What sports are they watching??? They don’t do it in the Big 4, so what sports are they talking about? No one bothers LeBron James in the middle of the game, even at half-time!!! What a horrible innovation. The players don’t need any other distractions!
TUESDAY
Roger Federer’s creamy blue and pink outfit. Photo by Karen Salkin.
– As I tweeted, Roger Federer’s attire is the single most attractive male tennis outfit ever in the history of the sport! Like I needed yet another reason to love him.
– Idiot ESPN host Chris McKendry is still adding an “l” to every word that ends with a “w!” (Examples: “saw” and “draw.”) What is wrong with her???
– Another idiot, LZ Granderson, proudly proclaimed that he’s a Nick Kyrgios fan! The only good thing host Chris McKendry ever did is asking incredulously after that proclamation, “You’re a Nick Kyrgios fan?!” And Darren Cahill had to take the onus off the discussion by saying, “There is a lot to like about him, no question about it, but he did cross the line a couple of weeks ago, so hopefully he’ll learn from that…But he certainly made a big mistake a couple of weeks ago.”
Yes–Nick Kyrgios is weird. I don’t like him only because of what he said to Stan Wawrinka. (If you’re not aware of that situation, click here to read about it: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/tennis-us-open-2015-begins-today.)
Nick Gyrgios’ horrible posture. Mr. X says he looks like that character who dances in the Charlie Brown Christmas pagaent! He does! Photo by Karen Salkin.
But I don’t mind that he’s a weird player. He stated in an interview that he doesn’t really love tennis. He said he’s much more into basketball, but his parents forced him into tennis instead. He clearly has an aptitude for the game, but his heart just isn’t into it. That’s apparent to even the casual observer. So, he’s making a decent enough living from the sport without working on his game too much. That’s not our business. Each person’s career is just what they themselves make of it; they owe nothing to anyone else. He doesn’t owe his family, his coaches, his country, nor the fans. If he’s playing well enough to make tournaments, and doesn’t mind going out in early rounds, so be it. He is more entertaining than anyone else. As long as he isn’t rude to others, I don’t care if he gives the sport his all or not. And neither should anyone else.
And, while we’re on the subject, ESPN host Hannah Storm should not have told us at the beginning of the broadcast that Nick told Stan that “another player had slept with his girlfriend.” Is she not aware that young children watch the telecast?! Very bad, and unprofessional, decision on her part. And on that of the producers.
Petra Kvitova looking great. Photo by Karen Salkin.
– Nick is only twenty, but he’s all hunched-over. I think it’s from insecurity, as is his brash behavior, but someone needs to tell him to work on his posture, not just for his game, but for his health!
He’s the anti-Roger, in every sense. So, not to compare them, (because there is no comparison, really,) but Roger says that he himself wasn’t that serious about working when he was young, so maybe there’s hope for Nick. He needs to study A-Rod this season to see how to get back into the world’s good graces after a major fall from grace.
– I’m so glad to see Petra Kvitova looking great. She’s finally standing-up straight, so she has no more little pot belly, she has a tan, and is wearing a bit of subtle make-up on court. So happy, because she seems like such a nice girl. Good for her!
WEDNESDAY
Milos Raonic. Am I right or am I right? Photo by Karen Salkin.
– The ESPN peeps need to stop ragging on the girl who had to drop-out of the first round against Serena, who got hurt on the warm-up. At least she gave it a go, rather than dropping out and giving the fans no match that night.
–It was very classy of Feliciano Lopez to not take his bow after he beat American Mardy Fish, who was playing his last pro tournament ever, after not playing for the past three years.
– Could Milos Raonic be any nerdier?! The answer is a resounding NO!
– These people are so stupid! First Hannah Storm said that ladies competitor Jessica Pegula is the “son of” her parents. Does Hannah not know that Jessica is a female?!
Novak Djocovic’s new grown-up hairstyle. Photo by Karen Salkin.
Then Chris Evert said that Pegula lives across the street from her, so she’s her “next-door neighbor.” Really?! Chris thinks that “across the street” and “next door” are the same location???
– I finally realized that Novak Djokovic grew his Chia Pet hair out! Very grown-up of him!
– I’ll never love another athlete like I love Roger Federer, but I must admit that the entertainment highlight of the week was seeing Novak dance with the dancing guy from the audience, after his second round win.
Petra cetkovska, when she beat caroline Wozniacki. Photo by Karen Salkin.
–I could not be happier for Petra Cetkovska! She beat #4 seed Caroline Wozniacki, and she so deserved that really difficult win. She was amazing!
But very poor sport Caroline tweeted after, ”I can only blame myself. You always think back: I should have done this, I should have done that.” Guess what—you tried really hard, but Petra dug deep and beat the pants off you! So just be honest and admit it!
THURSDAY
This is the first time I’ve ever seen Roger sweat! And it was at night!
FRIDAY
– Oh no–now creepy mis-pronouncer Chris McKendry is saying “Merry” for “Murray!!!” She did it several times yesterday, and I let it slid because I thought it just had to be a fluke. But no.
– Okay, now I have to call Johnny Mac out for something. People always ask me why I let him slide for this, so no more. He says “menally,” instead of “menTally.” Enough already. Mr. X actually asked me what “menally” means! And this wasn’t one of his snarks–he meant it!
Madison Brengle, on the right, whose handshake was even ruder in motion. Photo by Karen Salkin.
– Darren Cahill just said that people who are watching the tennis on the web “are staying about seventy-eight minutes a pop,” and that’s “a long time for someone to stay watching the sport.” So, what am I–Superwoman??? I watch every single second of the TV coverage, which is about twelve hours a day! Or more!
– Mikhail Kukuskin’s wife looks like Christina Applegate.
– American Madison Brengle was the biggest sore loser so far, on a par with the Williams. Her cold fish handshake at the net after was sort-of disgusting.
– OMG–now McKendry, who always adds an “l” onto words that end in “w,” (such as “draw” and “saw,”) just took the “l” off the word “ball!!!” She said just “ba!” What is wrong with that woman??? And to her producers for not calling her on it, and making her take some English 101 lessons!
Serena Williams, just dumping her little dog into its bag. Ugh. Photo by Karen Salkin.
– Serena was so terrible to her little dog on the practice court, that the ASPCA should get involved! First of all, she shouldn’t have had him out there in that brutal heat to begin with!!! Then, at the end of her session, she picked him up from the ground with one hand, (because, obviously, her bottle of water was much more important to her!,) and dumped him head first into his bag that someone else was carrying!!! So she would have her hands and shoulders free for her two purses. She didn’t even kiss that poor little pooch or interact with him in any way! I treat my stuffed animals better than she just treated that dog! Just when I didn’t think I could dislike her more…
– Bethanie Mattek-Sands was such a classy lady in defeat, and Serena wasn’t even nice to her at the net handshake.
Fabio Fognini. Photo by Karen Salkin.
– Jeremy Chardy, who’s even seeded, just won his third round match, and they still never showed him on ESPN FOR EVEN ONE SECOND!
– I never realized how good-looking Italy’s Fabio Fognini is! I’ve always been amused by him, but I guess, somehow, I didn’t notice his handsome face. That’s how much I concentrate on the true sports aspect, not the cute guy one.
As Johnny Mac said of Fognini, “He’s got the looks, he’s got that personality, and he’s showed he can play, too. He played very well tonight. Competing hard.” I agree, with it all.
SATURDAY
I know it’s a horrible picture, but Andrea Petkovic, on the right, is the nicest loser ever! Photo by Karen Salkin.
– Idiot Hannah Storm gave so much wrong info in the span of a few minutes! First she announced that Garcia-Lopez had just gone up two sets over Tomas Berdych, when they hadn’t even finished the second set, Garcia-Lopez was behind in it, and he wound-up losing it as soon as they came back from the TV break! Then, a few minutes later, she emphatically proclaimed that Andrea Petkovic was the eight seed when she was the eighteenth seed! She literally makes me sick. (Hannah, not Andrea, of course.) Many viewers count on the people from ESPN for their info, and she often gives out the wrong stuff. If non-TV people did their jobs as poorly as Hannah Storm does, they’d surely be fired. Just sayin’.
– Speaking of Andrea, I’ve never seen anyone lose more graciously than she. Especially when she was heavily favored to win her third round match against Johanna Konta, the #97 player in the world!
Mirka Federer. Look at that beautiful profile and shiny hair! Photo by Karen Salkin.
– I absolutely love that Roger Federer does touristy things while he’s playing. Mr. X can barely even talk to me when he’s working, especially out of town.
–I don’t think anyone counts Mirka Federer as good-looking, but I just realized that she actually is. She has a beautiful profile, and very shiny hair. And very lovely hands. And she’s so not flashy, or ever trying to show her riches. Her attire is expensive, I’m sure, but you wouldn’t know it just to look at it.
–A major shout-out to Donald Young, who is the biggest surprise of the tourney so far!
SUNDAY
– I’m sad to say that I’m afraid my semi-crush on Jeremy Chardy is over. He’s still absolutely gorgeous, and I’m still disgusted with ESPN for not showing even one second of his first three rounds, but now that they finally gave him a drop of air time, I noticed something I had only a clue to before. Jeremy stands with his shoulders all hunched-over! I can’t tell you how much I hate that! Someone has to tell him to work on his posture. I would do it myself (via twitter, of course,) but I just can’t bear to call him out in public like that. Except on here, of course! (And, since they never showed him winning those matches, I’ve never seen him smile! Ever. So, he’s more gorgeous than anyone, but not sexy.)
Marin Cilic’s gorgeous sneaks! Photo by Karen Salkin.
– I can’t believe that I didn’t notice Marin Cilic’s beautiful white, blue, and pink kicks before! I was too busy admiring his creamy-blue-with-pink-accents shorts!!!
– In the fourth set of the Marin Cilic-Jeremy Chardy match, I realized that I was going to be sad no matter who won. Besides that I like both players, so I hate for one to lose, I’ll miss seeing the two most beautiful faces in tennis–Chardy, and also Cilic’s coach, the stunning Goran Ivanisevic! [Note: I get to continue taking in Goran’s beauty.]
– So, you know that now Serena will definitely make the semi-finals because she plays her sister Venus next, and we know that even if Venus is winning, she’ll throw it. She’s not going to be the one to stand in her sister’s way!
– I was sad to see Fabio Fognini get beaten in his very next match, but doesn’t that happen to everyone who beats Rafa at a Major?
– Even though I don’t like her at all, I feel bad about this: Eugenie Bouchard dropped out of the tournament this afternoon, due to a possible concussion she suffered during a fall the other day, and the commentators made nary a mention of it! They were too busy kissing the Williams Sisters’ butts all day! [Note: They finally did, at almost 11PM, right before the last match of the day. Shame on them.]
Novak Djokovic being rude (at the bottom of the pic) to his opponenet, Roberto Bautista Agut, whose face says what we were all thinkiing. Photo by Karen Salkin.
– You know that even though I want him to never beat Roger, I do like Novak Djokovic. I usually think he’s nice. But his behavior when he won just a game in the fourth set in his fourth round match against Roberto Bautista Agut was reprehensible. He broke Roberto, when the crowd was behind the latter, and acted like a mad man, signaling to the crowd that he can’t hear them, and telling them to get up for him. Very rude, especially to someone he was going to beat anyway.
But, otherwise, that was a great match. I’ve never seen so many long, powerful points in my life!
That’s it for now. I have to start watching the second week already. But be sure to follow me on twitter to get my live thoughts on the players. @MajorCelebrity. Let’s hope my guts, eyes, back, and ribs hold-up for another week of this drama!
