MY 1,900TH COLUMN!

Nineteen hundred—OMG—I’m finally in the 20th century!

But, no joking around, I really cannot believe I’ve written this many reviews/stories/essays/articles/lessons/etc. I’ve known myself my whole life (duh,) and even I would have never thought I could ever be this disciplined. No matter how much I’ve excelled at one thing or other in my life, as soon as the going got even a tad tough, I was out of there.

For example, because of my expertise in first French and then Spanish, I was considered one of the top thirty Foreign Language students at my high school…of over five thousand enrollees. (Yes, you did read that number right—there were thirteen hundred thirty-one in my graduating class alone!) So the thirty of us were invited to learn Latin, (which came in handy for those of us who were going on to become doctors. Or, in my case, when I want to say “the farmers carry water.”)

And on my college placement exam for Language, I placed in the highest bracket for Spanish. So, consequently, I didn’t understand a thing we said in my first semester class.  And, in truth, I didn’t even try. It wasn’t easy for me anymore, so I just accepted one of the few “C”s I ever received, and forgot all the foreign words I ever knew. Which is a shame. Or a lástima. Or a honte. Or a turpe. Or a shonda. (Okay, I guess I remembered a few words!)

Even my web guy, who begged me to do this very e-zine (because we had both worked on someone’s else’s website previously, and he told me that the only reason that it got any readership numbers was because of my Out To Lunch column,) is shocked by my stick-to-itiveness. At INAM’s beginnings, he even attempted to teach the workings to Mr. X because he thought that I wouldn’t have the discipline to keep working on it! And many times a year he expresses real surprise that I’m still at it.

So, here I am, at my 1,900th column. I cannot lie and say I’m exactly loving every minute of the work, but I am proud of myself. And totally appreciative of all the support from you guys, my loyal readers. (And happy to welcome new ones every day.) So a big thank you to all of you, who wholly share in this milestone.

And coincidentally, today (May 31) is my little mo’s birthday. (She’s not on this level of life anymore, so unlike idiots on Facebook, I cannot wish her a “Happy” one, but it will always be her birthday because it’s the date on which she was born!) No one (outside of Mr. X, of course,) was ever prouder of my writing that she was. So I dedicate #1,900 to May Rose Salkin, who was a much better writer than I!

See you all next week, when we begin our next thousand! I look forward to continuing the journey with you.