MOVIE REVIEW: STEVE JOBS

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STEVE JOBS

[Note: In this week leading up to the Oscars, I’ll be reviewing several of the top films of the year, the ones that I didn’t already get to before the SAG Awards. All of those reviews are still available in my archives, (which you can access on the right of this page,) but, because it’s the best film of the year, (or of any year!,) here’s the link to my review of The Revenant, so you don’t have to search for it: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/movie-review-the-revenant.]

"Steve" and his "daughter," the latter of which gave the only credible performance in this whole film.

“Steve” and his “daughter,” the latter of which gave the only credible performance in this whole film.

Steve Jobs is the only movie I saw this season that I absolutely hated!  On every level.

I didn’t buy any of the actors as their characters, except for the teen-age daughter at the end.

If Steve Jobs’ life was as boring as this film about it, no wonder he had to invent something to entertain himself!

I’m a fan of Kate Winslet, in general, but I have no idea how she keeps winning awards for this performance! I just don’t get it. She’s good, of course, but no better than what an actress at her level should be. What she did was so nothing special. And I had no idea what accent she was trying to affect. If she hadn’t mentioned in the film that she has a “funny accent,” I would have just thought she was speaking a bit weirdly, but that’s it. (The real-life woman, Joanna Hoffman, was born in Poland, but moved to the U.S. when she was twelve, so she should have no accent whatsoever.)

Michael Fassbender and Kate Winslet.

Michael Fassbender and Kate Winslet.

And Michael Fassbender’s lisp was really hard to listen to. I’m not very familiar with him, (having seen him previously in only that one small role in 12 Years A Slave,) so I don’t know if that was Steve Jobs’ speech impediment or Michael’s. (According to the internet, Steve Jobs did not lisp. As an almost-luddite myself, I never listened to his webinars, so I don’t have first-hand knowledge of it. And the topic is not important enough to me for me to waste any more of my time researching it.) His speech was so annoying. I had trouble listening to it.

And Michael’s performance was all on one level. Perhaps that’s how Steve Jobs really was, or how the script was written or directed. But it was a snoozefest and a half, for whatever reason. A boring subject is no excuse to come up with such a boring end product in film-making.

And since when was the real Steve Jobs the tiny one, while Steve Wozniak towered over him?!  Hey director-ever hear of an apple box???

And since when was the real Steve Jobs the tiny one, while Steve Wozniak towered over him?! Hey director-ever hear of an apple box???

And the story seemed to be all on one level, as well. It didn’t move. I t made me more claustrophobic that the first half of Room!!! [Note: I’ll be reviewing that one in the next two days.]

I seriously had to force myself to keep watching Steve Jobs, just in case it picked-up, in any way. Any way at all. But, of course, it did not.

And my dislike of this film has nothing to do with my boredom on the subject. After all, I’m not a fan of bear-maulings, either, (hence this YouTube vid of mine: www.youtube.com/watch?v=spG8zu732hM,) but that didn’t deter my love of The Revenant!

And this is as deep as I want to delve into Steve Jobs. I was bored, annoyed, claustrophobic, and upset that it was using over two hours of my precious time. And writing this is just furthering that waste, so…The End.

Here’s a heads-up for my Twitter followers, whom I totally appreciate: I will be live-tweeting the Oscars on Sunday, beginning with as many arrivals as I can. @MajorCelebrity. If you don’t already follow me, there’s still time before the big show.

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