DINING: TOP ROUND

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TOP ROUND

 

I recently read about this four-month-old roast beef place on La Brea and Olympic, so I looked up the menu, and it was my kind of place. There’s nothing but roast beef sandwiches, fries, and ice cream. Kind-of like how Arby’s probably was when it started out.

I put it in the back of my mind to try sometime, and the opportunity presented itself sooner than I had anticipated. I had an hour to kill in-between two doctor’s appointments the other day, and being in Beverly Hills, this place was just another hop, skip, and jump further. Mr. X doesn’t eat roast beef, nor care about fries too much, especially “loaded” ones, (more on those in a sec,) but I knew I could tempt him with the ice cream. So off we went.

lAs we parked and walked towards the small indoor/outdoor space, I was downright giddy. But it turned out to be more of a dud than a find.

The menu is very limited, with a few variations on the three items that I mentioned above. So it would be hard to go there with anyone who doesn’t eat exactly those. And you can’t eat there with your vegetarian or non-red-meat-eater friends because while most places that make French fries cook them in vegetable oil, Top Round is proud to announce that they fry theirs in 100% beef fat! I’m a major carnivore, but that proclamation has made even me a tad queasy.

So here’s our brief rundown of the place. Mr. X noted that this no-frills, order-at-the-counter place looked pretty clean, which is always a plus. And the girl and guy taking the orders were nice enough. But the food was just mediocre; nothing bad, but far from special. Nothing to warrant a trip there.

Of the six roast beef sandwiches, I ordered just the plain one because the others didn’t appeal to me. (Two had horseradish and one had barbecue sauce, neither of which I like.) It was definitely good enough, especially because of the delicious au jus to dip it in, but nothing to write home about. It didn’t hold a candle to the ones at Roll N Roaster in Brooklyn, New York, and I swear, I like Arby’s roast beef sandwiches better, including their prices.

The aptly-named Dirty Fries.

The aptly-named Dirty Fries.

Top Round’s fries weren’t as good as the roast beef. They’re billed as “curly fries,” but they are not the delicious seasoned ones, like at Rally’s, and other fast food places. You can get them plain, or with cheese or gravy, but we ordered the “dirty” fries, which came with gravy, provel cheese, caramelized onions, and “round” sauce. I usually love fries with gravy, and cheese to a degree, and caramelized onions are always fun, so I figured this was the way to go. But I almost threw-up when I tried them with that mystery sauce on top. Turns out, it’s just barbecue sauce, which absolutely doesn’t go with gravy and cheese! They were kind enough to remake them for me, minus the sauce, and the dish was better that way, but still not great. The fries themselves were pretty wimpy, and the gravy had chopped-up pieces of beef in it, which was kind of gross. The provel cheese, which is usually found only in St. Louis, Missouri, was just okay, and the onions added nothing. We kind of just wolfed them down to get them over with.

But the supposed “frozen custard” just semi-pissed me off. It, too, was good enough, and Mr. X enjoyed his with butterscotch and praline pecans on top, which he said were generous. But here’s the deal with “frozen custard.” It’s a specific taste, not just soft serve ice cream. It’s something that I had all the time in Brooklyn as a kid and teenager, and it’s really hard to find the real thing. There is still a place in Coney Island that comes pretty close to what it’s supposed to be, and I did find it in in Los Angeles a few years ago, when there was a place that served it in Beverly Center, but it closed pretty quickly. It’s much creamier than ice cream, and is almost magical. So for someone to claim that they serve frozen custard, (like Shake Shack does in New York, when it’s also really just soft serve,) when I know it’s not the real thing, just gets to me.

At Top Round, it comes in just the basic flavor that’s close to vanilla, and then, if you want other ingredients, you can either have them mixed-in or put them on top. I tried this substance that they were serving, and the taste was a little creamier than the usual soft serve, but the consistency wasn’t at all. It was actually almost a tad grainy, which is the opposite of what frozen custard is supposed to be.

And I don’t like that there’s a sometimes sneaky extra charge of $.50. Here’s how they do it: it’s one price for the actual ice cream, and then $.50 each for each topping, including syrups and flavorings. Or you can order one of their suggested combos, the charge for which is the same as choosing three add-ins. But many of those come with only two toppings, which means you’re paying an extra $.50 for no reason. That’s just really annoying that they take advantage of people who aren’t paying attention to what a rip-off that this. (Like Mr. X, who of course did that, because he likes to pay just a little over retail!)

So there you have it. Top Round is clean enough and convenient, but overpriced, with false advertising in the frozen custard department, and just okay in regards to the foods. There is nothing there that made me want to go back. Unless I’m on that corner, and desperate to eat.

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