EMMYS 2017

This is not my most comprehensive awards show review because I let out most of my venom (and lauding) live on Twitter on Sunday, as it was all happening but thank goodness I have a little somethin’-somethin’ left for my non-Twitter followers.

So, let’s get to my many thoughts that did not make it into a tweet. And trust me—there are still many!

SHOW

[Note: I’m going out of order and beginning with the actual show rather than at the beginning with the arrivals, because over the years, it’s become clear that’s what you, my readers, want to hear the most about. But, please, if you have time, do not miss my arrivals coverage, right after this section. It’s juicy!]

Steven Colbert was a dreadful host!  Actually, worse than dreadful.  He turned out to be the worst choice possible.  Since it was on CBS this year, the host had to be someone on that network, but how about James Corden??? He’s hosted the Tonys and the Grammys and was fabulous at both, so he should have been the obvious choice. Perhaps they asked him, but between his nightly show and his wife being preggers, he declined. But they should have begged.

The weird thing is that they had that offensive announcer, because they wanted to go younger and what they thought was hipper, for the show, so why would they book stuffy old Colbert as the host? It’s a head scratcher.

So, while we’re on the topic of that horrible, classless, grating-voiced announcer, let’s discuss.  I know what they were going for, (as cited above,) but it was just offensive, especially for a show that’s semi-classy.  (At one point, Mr. X, who’s a krump dancer, so he’s in the urban lifestyle himself, said that he was surprised the person didn’t end his yelling announcements with “bitch.”)  We actually don’t even know if it was a man or woman shouting until they showed him. Mr. X was positive it was a woman, but I literally had no idea. He was disgusting, until the producers obviously read my tweets, (and I’m sure other people’s, as well,) and told him to tone it down. (I’m not just saying that; this is what I tweeted during the show, and then it happened right afterwards: “That classless voice needs 2 be fired right now, in the middle of the show! The announcer is supposed 2 add to the show, not ruin it!”)

By the way, prior to that, I had no idea who half the presenters were because the shouts of that awful announcer were so hard to understand.  I truly understand that they felt the need for what is euphemistically referred to as “diversity” these days, but if so, how about a wonderful “ethnic” voice, such as James Earl Jones or Morgan Freeman? Hiring someone who speaks like the guy they went with just looks bad for black people, like the producers think that that’s what all black people sound like. The choice was offensive, for everyone!

So, back to Colbert’s schtick–at least there was a lot of anti-Trump stuff, which, of course, I, and I think the entire assemblage, was thrilled about.

That was actually a very fun bit with Sean Spicer. He was a good sport to do that.

What hope is there for the world when even Lily Tomlin has a new face?!   Jane Fonda does, too, but that’s expected.

Boy, did John Lithgow‘s acceptance speech bomb! That phony telling his fellow nominees that they “deserved the win” was met with total silence! Good for the “losers” to not buy into that baloney.

Did anyone else notice that there were six nominees in every category this year, rather than five? I think that’s because there appears to be hundreds of shows on these days, most of which I’ve never seen, and many of which I’ve never even heard of!!!

It’s funny that Robert DeNiro took off his glasses when Colbert pointed him out. I would have never expected even the least bit of vanity from the guy!

What was in Gina Rodriguez’s mind to choose a dress that showed a totally bare boys-type-of chest? It could not have been more unattractive. (It’s the same way when any of the idiot women do it!)

Kate McKinnon was really moved by her win, which was nice to see, especially from a comedienne.

Reese Witherspoon needs to fire her make-up person, pronto. She looked like she was in blackface!

And what was up with her ugly ill-fitting dress?! I swear, I had that same dress in 1995, only in red, and not that classless shiny fabric. And, most importantly…it fit me!!!

Alec Baldwin’s win was so undeserved. He won just because everyone hates Trump. The Emmys organizers should absolutely not put sketch performers against comedy actors. There are so many categories already, so why not just add a few so that these entertainers can be in two different ones?

John Oliver saying at the end of his speech, “Play me off, please,” was one of the most honest things I’ve heard on an awards show! Good for him!

The best part of the show (at the time, I had tweeted “so far,” but it really turned-out to be “period,”) was the bit that James Corden and Seth Meyers did when presenting. It really did turn-out to be the only good part! And it was so true. They were saying how phony everyone is to make believe that they watch each others’ shows, when we all know they have no time for any of that! As Mr. X pointed-out, it would be great if they could host together next year, but because of the roving networks who broadcast the show, it has to be only one guy from that particular network. And since these two are on competing ones, our hope for a joint host-ship will never come to fruition. Shame.

Ann Dowd’s speech (whoever she is,) was the loveliest and most heartfelt perhaps ever!

That woman who won with Aziz Ansari for co-writing an episode of Masters of None with him was unbelievably rude to him!!! She took up all the speech time, so that he didn’t even get to say a word! And he’s the creator and star of the show! Who gave her the job! He really should fire her, pronto. I hate people like that, who are all about themselves. She took time to thank her personal people, like her girlfriend, and talk about her LGBT community, when she should have been normal enough to share the spotlight with him, as he did with her. Disgusting.

Director winner Reed Moreno’s speech was awful.  But why did they bleep her?  I think she was just saying a name.

I love Seth McFarland’s real voice.  So it’s a bonus that he’s such a talented voice artist.

I absolutely adored that beautiful Priyanka Chopra didn’t feel the need to pop-out her boobs, or wear a sleeveless gown.  She rocked!

But Nicole Kidman’s beautiful red frock was perhaps the best awards show dress ever! And she gave a great speech, too!

How rude of them to cut the mike during Sterling K. Brown’s speech!!! He was giving a good, heartfelt one, and was not even close to rambling, and his win was for a major award, so it looked even worse for the powers-that-be to do it. Yet, they had allowed Nicole Kidman to go on and on. So, they bend over backwards to look “diverse,” but cut the words of one of the few black actors to win an award. Stupid, stupid move, on every level.

BD Wong should never stand next to Matt Bomer ever again.

Anika Noni Rose was lovely to her co-presenter Cicily Tyson. (By the way, Cicily kept wondering why she was forgetting her lines. Here’s a guess—maybe because she’s ninety-two!!! But she looked incredible!)

I’m not familiar with Tatiana Maslany‘s work, (I do know that she won an acting award last year,) but she looked perfect, on every level.

E! ARRIVALS

I was not familiar with host Jason Kennedy before, except as the guy who’s married to Lauren Scruggs, so I was pleasantly surprised to discover a red carpet host who’s actually genuine!

I watch a lot of TV, but I really don’t know who many of these people are!

Rachel Bloom may just be the most talented female on TV, (James Cordon is the male one,) but why didn’t anyone tell her her eye make-up was all smudged under her eyes?  And at the beginning of the arrivals interviews, no less!  But I love that she bought her own dress.

I love that Anthony Anderson’s wife said the secret to relationship longevity is “patience…and understanding.”  As one who knows, I can tell you that she is correct! And I add good senses of humor, too!

OMG—That is absolutely the best that Padma Lakshmi looked!  Maybe because she’s covering half of her usually funny-looking face.  The change may just be due to her new hair-cut, but if it’s because of plastic surgery, too, that was a smart move to also cut her hair to deflect from that.

That was possibly the worst adorable Julianne Hough has ever looked!  What a bad dress!

I half hate and half love Tracee Ellis Ross’ weird Jack Frost dress. It looks like she melted down a few of her mother’s old costumes and then sewed parts of them back together.

OMG—Sarah Hyland‘s spanx are sticking-up over her dress onto her bare stomach!!!

Shockingly, Leslie Jones seemed so nice.  This is the first time she was like that because she wasn’t doing her usual screaming, that she thinks is so funny but is definitely anything but!  I saw her at an Emmys Suite the day before, and she was nice to everyone there, as well. On a sidebar, I am happy to see someone become successful in show business so late in life, (she’s almost fifty,) but she’s just so annoying to watch. And worse to listen to! [Note: This is my first mixed review this time! Yay! I’m getting hot now!]

Nicole Kidman looked gorgeous in her dress, but too bad her face isn’t recognizable anymore!

At one point, I said out loud, “Who is this bad-looking woman who looks like a bag lady, rather than an Emmys attendee?”  I still don’t know, but why would anyone let her hair look like that at an awards show??? [Note: After the telecast, Mr. X and I binge-watched all seven episodes of Big Little Lies, and I realized this woman was Shailene Woodley, who was good in the show, but looked awful at the Emmys.] With her bare white chest, she actually looked like a washwoman.

Heidi Klum could not have looked more atrocious!  Mr. X took one look at her and said, “This is why bras were invented.”  And her make-up looked like Stevie Wonder did it! I would really think that a model, who’s always in the public eye, would know better.

There was no dress uglier than Sarah Paulson’s!  Ugh.

I usually don’t like shoes like this, but I did admire Claire Foy’s uber-thin stilettos.  I can’t imagine that they’re comfortable, though.

Basketball star Dwayne Wade did not look comfortable there, escorting wife Gabrielle Union.

Once again, Susan Sarandon was featuring her wrinkly old cleavage.  Why???

Emmy Rossum probably looked the best overall.  Good black dress, nothing physically wrong, lovely simple emerald earrings and ring, and basic light pink short nails.  I loved her look!

Evan Rachel Wood is the most composed person I’ve ever seen!  I’m not even familiar with much of her work, but I love her.  She’s who I would most like to be friends with in the biz.

If one more person tells Chrissy Metz she looks great, I’m going to vomit!  It’s not that I’m a fat-shamer, but we have to be honest—no one that huge looks great!  And, as I tweeted, I thought she was contractually obligated to lose weight for the show, but it looks like she’s gained instead!  I read that the producers recently said that the agreement is basically not in stone, but I’m sure that’s because they really don’t have a choice at this point.  They’re not going to fire one of the main components of the narrative!

KTLA ARRIVALS

When they interviewed This Is Us’ Ron Sephus Jones, he was accompanied by his daughter, Jasmine.  The goony hosts on this channel’s coverage (who wouldn’t keep their hands off all the celebs, which was just weird,) referred to her as “daughter,” and treated her as a plus one, but they really missed the boat—she’s one of the stars of Hamilton on Broadway!!!

I literally had to fast forward past William H. Macy because I was eating when he and his wife came on, and he makes me literally queasy.  Someone, buy that creep some shampoo!!!  Ugh.

There was no one I liked more than The Handmaid Tale’s O.T. Fagbenli, whom I had never ever seen, nor heard of, before!  He said he was hungry, and when they gave him a bag of M&Ms, he casually started eating them right away!  The most genuine, least obnoxious person ever on a red carpet!

James Corden is so honest and lovely.  And you can tell he’s not into that fawning, phony nonsense that most of the others do.  I love that guy!

I’m sorry but I don’t get why Zoe Kravitz is considered so good-looking.

But I loved how natural and regular she is.

I didn’t get to finish watching the arrivals, but I think this is a great place to leave it.